


His

by Ukume94



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angry Negan (Walking Dead), Angry Sex, Angst, Animated GIFs, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings, Female Ejaculation, Finger Fucking, Flirting, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Light Dom/sub, Love Triangles, Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Original Character(s), Playing Hard to Get, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, Soft Negan, Strong Female Characters, The Hilltop (Walking Dead), The Sanctuary (Walking Dead), Walkers (Walking Dead), heartless killings, stressed Negan, strong woman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 106,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukume94/pseuds/Ukume94
Summary: Updating the Tainted Love series. Catch the new version here!
Relationships: Negan (Walking Dead) & You, Negan (Walking Dead)/You
Comments: 28
Kudos: 142





	1. Tainted Love

**Author's Note:**

> Updating the Tainted Love series. Catch the new version here!

The groans from the dead outside the shack keep you on high alert, the weather was beginning to change. The drafty shack lacking any kind of insulation was going to be a problem.

You were going to need to find some warmer blankets and hopefully warmer clothes. Unfortunately with the dead remaining outside the walls you were going to suffer for the night.

Peeking through a few of the cracks, there are more then you can kill off alone. Picking up your feet and tiptoeing back to the makeshift bed you grab the same book you've been reading over again.

How many times could a person read a murder mystery. At this point you've become the detective in the book. How could he not see that the woman killed her husband?

A loud crash from outside causes a jump from you, quickly peeking out again one of the dead fell over a fallen tree. Another one of the dead was stuck under the fallen tree. Groaning as if the dead could lend a hand and help him out.

What were these dead like before this all happened. As a game you decided to give the dead names and what their jobs were before the turn.

The woman with a missing arm was named Martha, she was a professional belly dancer before she hit the age of thirty five, she wanted a career change when it came to meeting her husband Andy. They wanted a child but with her profession she didn't want to lose out on work.

The man under the tree was named Hogan, he was very much into computer science. He kept to himself and never really had time to meet anyone special in his life. Poor guy died a virgin.

Looking away from the dead it just made you feel bad. They were once real humans like you. They all had families, pets and homes. Deciding to walk back to the makeshift bed, you lay back not feeling like playing your stupid insensitive game.

The sounds the dead were making was becoming harder to deal with. You couldn't stop seeing your family in your mind, watching one of the dead grab your mother. She was running along side your father, hand in hand. She was terrified of what was behind her.

Your father told her not to worry, to keep her eyes in front where you were loading the much needed things to survive. You turned to look to your parents, your mother tripped and fell which helped the dead catch up with them.

It's been months since the start of this hell on earth, the first group you were with died one by one in the most horrific ways. It left you alone for a few weeks which lead you to meet another group of people.

That group seemed to have their shit together, knew how to keep a low profile and fight the dead. Thanks to them you learned how to defend yourself and use more weapons properly.

Even with their training and prep, they all lost their lives.

This time around you decided maybe keeping away from the group's you could survive this shit show alone.

Days like these make you think about your time with the group's.

You became close with some of them, talked about their past live and what they were before the dead started walking the earth.

"Stop." You cry to yourself, blinking the tears away you can't handle it any longer. Grabbing your large machete from the side of the bed you stomp your way towards the door.

Opening it wide your eyes lock with four other dead beings. Holding on tightly to the machete you begin swinging as if you've been trained by ninjas.

The blade slices through the woman's skull, blood spewing from the large gaping wound you've created. She collapses to the ground while you swing the weapon to the next one. The dead man reaches for you, almost taking a bite from you. Kicking him with your left leg he flys backwards. The other lurches towards you, turning towards the other man the machete slices his head clean off his shoulders.

Not forgetting about the other guy you fling the blade through his skull. Trying to pull the blade from his skull you find it stuck. Using your foot once again you push him back with your leg against his chest and pull the blade free from his head. He lands onto the ground with a thump.

Taking a couple deep breaths from your adrenalin rush, the dead guy under the tree continues to groan for help. Once you've gained your regular breathing back, you take the first few steps towards the dead guy.

He looks to you, reaching for you wanting even the slightest taste of your flesh. This groans become more frantic as you squat onto the tree trunk. Watching him as he struggles to reach you.

You didn't know him, you never care this much about one of the dead but seeing him look so human groaning for help. He was more then one of the dead, he was someone before.

"I'm gonna finish this for you." Whispering to him. Lifting the blade you take one last look at his face. "You don't need to suffer anymore." Using as much force your arms have left the machete buries itself into the man's head. Pulling the blade from his skull with the help from your weight on the tree, you watch him lay silent.

Why did this one bring you feelings? What was it about him that made you remember?

Climbing off the tree and turning back to your shack, the first batch of tears pour down your cheeks.

He reminded you of your friend you were surviving with before he was bit.

Turning back around towards his body, you take quick steps towards him and dig into his pockets.

You needed answers. You needed to confirmation.

Finding his wallet, you open it finding a couple dollars, a credit card and his ID.

Slipping the ID you pull it free, looking to the name your heart slows.

"Timothy Beck." You read aloud.

It wasn't him.

Laying the wallet by his body you leave the body and head back towards the shack. He looked like your deceased friend but thankfully it wasn't him.

You knew what happened to him but he left the group when he was bit. You said your goodbyes with him and he left without saying another word.

You always wonder if he's out there walking around, blood hungry like the rest of the dead or if he put a bullet through his skull?

Your stomach lurches thinking about your friend ending his own life. He was kind and smart. He always talked to you about the beauty of the world even though it was so ugly with death.

"Charlie." You whisper his name. Maybe saying it would out loud would make it easier to let him go.

"Charlie." Looking around the woods your chin quivers. "The orange sky above reminds us that the sun is going down for the day. It was a nice day, didn't have to kill too many dead." You whisper to the universe.

Charlie would always talk about how the day was when the sun was setting. To keep his memory alive you promise to always remember to do this during every sunset.

Wiping the tears from your cheeks you head back into your shack and climb into the makeshift bed. Clinging to the thin blanket you try to keep warm.

As you may on the bed you realize why you're so emotional, why it bothered you and why you're holding on to the thought of someone you only knew for a few weeks.

You miss humans, miss talking with someone, touching someone's arm while having a conversation. Miss someone actually giving you eye contact while you speak.

Today was the first day you've actually spoke a real word in weeks. It felt so good vocalizing, even if it was to the universe.

Shaking the thought out of your head, closing your tired eyes you let sleep take you into its arms.

* * *

You wake up to the sound of the dead groaning outside your door. Maybe the other bodies gave them a reason to think you were staying inside the shack.

Softly groaning to yourself not really wanting to get up so early, you climb out of bed knowing you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep after their lovely wake-up call.

Killing them one by one; you start your morning getting splattered in the face with cold blood. Rolling your eyes in frustration of the mishap you take it as a sign to get the scavenging started.

Packing your backpack of utensils you leave the small shack, peeking out out the door making sure the area was empty happy with the silence outside you exit the shack.

Knowing damn well that the entire woods weren't going to be empty you decided to use the dead's blood to mask your own smell, cutting the body open and smearing the maroon colored blood on your clothes and skin. Happy with the way you look you decide to head out of the woods in search for more canned goods.

Stumbling upon a cabin in the woods, silently making your way inside with your machete in hand you kill the one of the dead. Searching through his cabinets and grab all you can find.

Your day consists on finding more cabins and shacks, killing the dead here and there. Grabbing what you can find and use to keep you from starving.

After finding more canned goods, grabbing a book for some spare reading. You sit on a couch in a abandon house eating stale crackers, drinking sips of your water to make sure you have enough for the travels back to the shack you slept in.

Reading the book and tossing it to the side once finished you grumble to yourself knowing it would be half the day to travel back to the shack. It would be dark by the time you made it back, the dead are always more active at night and knowing you would still be out there heading back "home" fear crept over you.

Deciding enough was enough, you climb up from the couch to make your way back to the small shack you call home. You were not going to be walking around the woods in the dark.

Placing your backpack on, tightening it up in case you have to run at any moment. You grab your blade and hammer and head outside.

Normally you would walk through the woods just in case someone were to follow you but because you haven't seen one single person in months you decide to just walk the streets.

You wonder what this street would look like before the dead took over? How many cars traveled the stretched out road.

The trees around the road gave it a autumn ambiance.

_Was it September?_

While walking you find a small rock, for fun you kick it a bit as if it were a soccer ball. You bore easily with the game so you decide to start humming a song.

While humming you find yourself starting to sing the song out loud. As if you were a rock star you walk into the middle of the street with your air guitar for your solo.

Grabbing the invisible microphone you lift it to your lips and begin to sing with all your heart.

_Don't touch me please_

_I cannot stand the way you tease_

_I love you though you hurt me so_

You start to approach three large trucks. Knowing no one was in the abandoned trucks you continue singing.

_Now I'm going to pack my things and go_

_Tainted Love, Tainted love_

_Touch me baby, Tainted love_

"Well shit, looks like we have a rock star walking around." A man says opening the passenger door of the last truck you passed by.

Jumping in fear of the surprise of another person around. Taking your hammer into your hand you tighten your grip waiting to see where he was.

"Pretty good." He adds the sound of him jumping down to the ground. "What did you think Simon?" The mans voice sounding distant from you.

"Excellent singing voice." Another man says from behind the man's voice.

"Uh." You say taking a few steps backwards in fear of more men. Glancing behind you just incase the dead were approaching, lucky for you it was empty.

How many men did this guy travel with? As if they heard you ask all the doors to the trucks open, men after men climb out of the trucks.

A man walk out from behind the first truck, wearing a black leather jacket, red scarf and carrying a baseball bat.

"Whoa." You say to yourself while the man stops in front of you. He eyes you from top to bottom.

"Well fuck. If you wouldn't have been singing like you were, the way you're fucking looking I would have had my men kill you." He smiles moving his baseball bat from off his shoulder and pointing it towards you.

You forgot you covered yourself in blood, of course he would have thought you were a threat. You looked like one of the dead.

A glimmer from the bat turns your attention to his choice of weapon. Your eyes widen realizing the baseball bat has barbed wire around it.

"Don't be afraid of Lucille. She's not going to hurt you Doll." He smirks. "Not after that performance." He adds.

That smile could kill any kind of woman, it was like it was just for you. His smile could make you forget everything and take your panties off without a second thought.

"What do you want us to do with her?" A man asks slowly walking behind the man in leather.

There were too many men in this group, if you had to run off to get away you knew one of them would catch up.

"I know what I'd like to do with her." Another man says from around the other vehicle.

"Run." You thought instantly taking a step back in fear of your safety.

The dead were a threat, yes. They could find anyone from miles away, hear the slightest sounds and tear your skin apart. But humans, living breathing people have been and will always be the biggest threat.

"What the fuck was that?" The man with the baseball bat asks. He moves closer towards the middle of the street where you're still standing. His eyebrows furrow together in anger.

He looks to everyone of his men and waits. No one answers

"I know for fucking sure I'm not hearing shit, now if one of you fuckers doesn't man up and own up to their god damn comment I'm gonna start swinging Lucille around."

Was he actually sticking up for you? You wonder taking another step back.

A man walks up his face pale with fear. "I said it." He says his voice quivering.

The man with the bat turns and looks to you. "You see that Doll, my men come when I tell them too. Come here Brian." He says to the man shaking.

Brian walks up towards the man with the bat, grabbing him by the back of his jacket he leads him in front of you.

"What are you-" You start but stop once Brian is face to face with you.

"Apologize to. Wait, Doll I didn't get your name." He says leaning to the side from behind Brian.

You answer by telling him your name. He grins to you liking that you answered him right away.

"Hi (Y/N)." Loving the way your name rolls off his tongue you wait to hear what else he has to say with that deep voice of his."I'm Negan." He looks away from you back to the back of Brian's head. "Apologize to her for your comment." He says pushing him closer towards you.

You eye Brian, his fear still plastered across his face.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

"What was that? The others in the back couldn't hear you." Negan growls clutching tighter to Brian's jacket.

"I'm sorry." He repeats louder this time while looking to you. The other men behind Negan and Brian stand in silence, their faces mirroring the fear Brian shows.

"Why?" Negan asks lifting an eyebrow.

"Because I'm not supposed to talk like that to a lady." Brian answers sounding as if he were in pain.

Negan throws him to the side once he heard the correct apology. Brian falls to the ground with a thud.

"You're God damn right. That wasn't so fucking hard now was it?" He asks the man while he tries to get up from the ground.

"No." He grunts running to the back.

"Sorry about that Doll. I still have some assholes that need training." He looks back eyeing Brian before turning back towards you. "I hope he didn't ruin your day too much." He adds sounding genuine.

You shake your head softly looking to Negan placing your hammer back on your belt. A sign of thanks and trust.

"Thank you." You whisper wanting to make sure he knows you appreciate what he just did for you.

"You're very welcome Doll." He smiles liking you more and more.

"Tell me, where were you headed?" He asks taking a step towards you.

You didn't know if you should tell the truth or make something up quickly. If you told him you're headed back to your small home maybe he would follow you there. If you create something maybe he'd read through the lie.

He did do something very nice for you a few seconds ago, what was the worst that could happen?

"I was headed back to my small shack." You answer making sure it was quiet enough so only he heard it.

"You're living in a shack?" He asks leaning towards you placing his bat Lucille over his shoulder.

"Yes." You answer nodding your head.

"Well shit. Lucky you ran into us, how about we take you back to The Sanctuary."

"That's what you called your group?" You ask feeling a little more like yourself.

"Safe haven for most, threat for the others. You my dear will be living like a queen." He smiles.

 _A queen? Why would he bring a stranger like you into his group and treat you like a queen?_ The puzzle pieces in your head weren't matching up.

"Why is that?" You ask.

"Cause I like ya. I want to make sure you're safe and fed instead of having to scavenge like you were obviously doing today." He says pointing towards your backpack with Lucille.

He's offering you a place to live, sleep and be merry. If you were to decline you would go back to the small shack and have to fend for themselves. If you were to accept would that Brian guy bother you again?

_We're you going to be the only woman there?_

"So, what is it Doll?" He asks.

"Are there other women in The Sanctuary?" You ask feeling a bit out numbered.

He chuckles before licking his bottom lip. "Yeah Doll. We have women and children there."

You look to the other men behind Negan seeing Brian watching you.

"Would that Brian guy bother me?" You ask hoping he wouldn't even dare come near you.

Negan turns around quickly using his index finger in a come hither way to Brian.

"Brian, Brian, Brian. You made a bad Goddamn impression on (Y/N) which I don't like all too well. Listen to me cause I will not fucking say it again." He grabs Brian from the collar of his shirt. "You fucking come near her, look at her or fucking speak about her; I'll fucking iron your disgusting perverted face. Am I fucking clear?" Negan promises loud enough the sound of his voice echoes the wooded area.

"Yes sir." Brian says keeping his eyes downcast towards the ground.

"Fuck off." He shouts throwing him back before turning towards you. "Does that answer your question Doll?"

My God, the man may be a bit rough around the edges but he's damn sexy. He knows what he wants and how he wants it. He's not afraid to speak his mind or tell it like it is.

What you've seen of him he's very respectful to women, which has always been a plus for you. He's older like a fine wine, damn it if you didn't get a taste soon you'll explode.

Nodding you smirk towards him. "Okay, take me to The Sanctuary." You answer with a small smile.

"Hell yes. You're gonna love it there." He says placing his gloved hand at the bottom of your back as he leads you towards the large truck.


	2. What Is This Feeling?

You sit in the passenger seat with Negan sitting in the middle next to Simon. He thought it would be nice to have you sit on the side to make you feel comfortable.

He wasn't wrong.

Negan keeps Lucille between his legs, holding it by the grip.

Be turns towards you with a smile.

"Tell me doll, you from around here?" He asks trying to start a conversation.

_We're you from around here? Where were you?_ Since the beginning you've been in a couple cars driving down side streets trying to find shelter. The other groups you've traveled and only stayed in one place for a few day.

You shrug your shoulders not sure how to answer him. 

"That's okay doll, I know you're a little nervous." He smiles that beautiful smile once again. "How about you ask me some questions. Get you comfortable."

_He wants you to ask him questions? What were you supposed to ask?_

Glancing towards him from the corner of the seat you glance towards Negan again. Your eyes landing on the baseball bat within his grasp.

"Why did you name your baseball bat?" You ask.

Simon turns towards you from behind Negan, eyes widening in shock from your question. Eyeing Negan once again his smile lowers a fraction of a millimeter.

"Well Doll, I can't really give you an answer to that. I don't really know anything about you. Maybe a little later." He finishes, turning towards Simon and begins softly talking with the man.

Turning your attention back towards the passenger side window, watching the scenery fly by from the speed of the truck. 

Negan wanted you to ask him any sort of question and when you asked about his baseball bat he didn't want to answer.

_What was up with the baseball bat and him?_

Before you could try to figure something out the truck pulls to a large gated warehouse. Tall wire fences filled with the dead on chains, tied to the fence. The fence opens allowing the truck to drive inside and towards the large warehouse.

The truck stops in front of the stairs that lead to the entrance to the warehouse. 

When you were in the group's it was mostly hidden in some cars and staying in some abandoned houses. Never something this, large.

"Welcome to The Sanctuary doll." Negan says opening the truck door once the truck stops. He climbs out of the truck, lending his hand to you. He helps you climb down the truck.

"It's. It's bigger than I thought." You exclaim looking around as he leads you up the stairs through the doors and inside the building.

While Negan and you walk down the stairs you realize people who are working in the warehouse lowering down to their knees as if he were a king.

"Follow me doll." He turns towards you grabbing your hand. Leading you down the hallway as if you were the new kid in school.

"Where are we going?" You ask looking away from the workers on their knees.

He doesn't answer as he takes you through and up the stairs to an area leading down a long hallway. Glancing through one of the open doors you realize they were rooms.

Continuing down the hallway he opens the door leading you into a large bedroom, red sheets draped on the bed. Dark brown dressers and a desk facing a window.

"Is this your room?" You ask in wonder. It had to be his bedroom, the room looks as if it were made for majesty.

"You don't miss a thing do ya?" He smiles towards you releasing your hand he lets you explore the room. Inside the room is a living room with gorgeous couches, possibly where he has his meetings.

"Well it's nicer then the other rooms we passed. It's more homey and that room leads to a nice living room. So no don't miss too much." You answer.

"Damn, I couldn't get ya to talk in the truck. Now you're going on and on." You lift an eyebrow before walking farther into the room, checking out every little detail.

You walk towards the desk noticing a book laying to the side. A small smile reaches your lips.

"To Kill A Mockingbird, good choice." You look up noticing Negan watching you.

He smiles nodding while you continue to walk around the room. Seeing another door, you turn the knob and open it slowly.

He didn't protest so it couldn't be anything to serious. Peeking inside you notice a bathroom.

"Holy shit, does it work?" You ask turing around in surprise. You didn't want to get your hopes up for a shower, just in case it doesn't work.

"Hell yeah it does Doll." He smiles walking inside the room. He looks down towards you. "I know a shower would be a fucking dream come true for you. I don't mind if you use it, just make it quick Doll. Save warm water for me later." He smiles.

"Warm water?" You could jump up and down with excitement but keep it tamed in front of him.

You haven't taken a real shower in, well since before the dead started walking around.

"You're going to need clean clothes. Let's see, size 5?" You turn with a smirk.

"You must know you're way around the ladies." You smile noticing him smile along with you.

"I got an eye for the sexy ones." He winks before walking out of the room to get you something else to wear.

You smile as you close the bathroom door and undress quickly. The smell of the horrendous geeks blood caked onto your clothes, skin and hair.

Climbing into the shower you let the water wash over you, a large smile on your face as you finally take your first real shower.

You wash up, feeling clean, hair squeaky while running your fingers through it under the waterfall of warm water.

You never knew you would miss the littlest things after the end of the world.

Happy with everything, you turn off the water and pull the shower curtain back.

Your smile fades when you realize you forgot a damn towel.

He had one towel in the bathroom, but knowing it was his own towel would be a little weird.

Climbing out of the shower you take a step towards the door. Peeking out you notice the room is empty, clean clothes laying on the bed along with a a towel and a variety of underpants.

You silently prepare yourself before opening the door wide enough for you to walk out, you tip toe not wanting to leave wet foot prints all over the wooden floors.

Getting closer to the bed you notice movement from the corner, looking up Negan is sitting at his desk. His back facing you.

You pause in your tracks, why in the hell didn't you look in the corner?

You silently swear knowing you have grab that damn towel before he notice, you take another step to the bed to find the floor squeaking under your foot.

_Shit_.

Negan turns around noticing you dive to the bed, grabbing the towel you cover as much of yourself as you possibly can.

"Damn girl, I've never seen someone move that quick before." He chuckles.

You lay on the side if the bed breathing a little heavily. "Do I get the gold?" You ask with a blush upon your face.

He licks his bottom lip and smiles. 

"Gold for the (Y/H/C) beauty." He says before standing and making his way slowly towards the bed.

You wrap the towel around you making sure not to get the bed wet, you move to stand and stick your hand out towards him.

"Thank you Negan for letting me shower, and for the clean clothes."

He smiles down towards you. "You're God damn welcome sweetheart." He takes your hand into his large gloved one and shakes it gently.

"I saved you enough warm water by the way. It was tempting to stay in there. I haven't taken a real shower in. I don't know how long."

"I'm happy you enjoyed it. You smell a hell of a lot better and can I say you're even more fucking hotter then I thought you were." He winks down towards you.

Your cheeks begin to warm up, you pull your hand out of his grasp and start backing up slowly.

"You don't have to be shy kitten, it's just a compliment." He smiles towards you noticing the blush appearing upon your cheeks.

You grasp onto your towel for dear life, quickly grabbing the clean clothes and grabbing for the pink thong. You smile still feeling even more nervous that he know what kind of panties you prefer wearing.

"Thanks." You whisper wanting to melt into the floor and out of this room.

He chuckles taking another step towards you. "You're very shy and sweet. Not like some other girls."

"Is that a bad thing?" You ask.

"No, I like that." He says eye fucking you as you stand by the bathroom doorway. Your legs tighten together trying to ease the ache that started between your legs.

Not really knowing how to reply to that you giggle softly to yourself before closing the door behind you.

Leaning against the door you try to keep a squeak from leaving your body.

The man was a fucking hottie, the way he carries himself. The clothes he wear, the way the leather clings to his body. The damn smile.

Slithering your hand down to your aching mound you softly begin to rub slow circles on your swollen nub. 

It's been a long time since you've needed to touch yourself like this, no one in the other groups ever made you feel this kind of way.

The way Negan made you feel, hoe he looks at you causes a gentle moan to escape your lips.

Rubbing two fingers against your aching pussy brings you closer to your climax. Closing your eyes wanting to imagine him in front of you again. Seeing Negan standing in front of you as you hide naked against the side of the bed.

Imagining his leather covered hand sliding down, leather fingers against your clit. Looking into his eyes as he fucks you with hand pulls you over the edge.

Clinging to the towel against your skin and your other hand rubbing vigorously against your clit you shake with ecstasy.

You've only known the man for possibly an hour and you've already masturbated to the thought of him.

What was it about the man that made you feel this way?


	3. Crossed Off The List

You knew three thing are certain. One, you were more then welcome to stay here in The Sanctuary. Two, you didn't have to fight for your life anymore. Three, Negan has a thing for you and it turns you on quicker then flipping a light switch.

Before the virus hit you were a nobody to anyone, the girl people never had crushes on. You just felt like you were there taking up oxygen. Never anyone's type which you got used to.

Never in your right mind did you think a man like Negan would want you, maybe it was the fact that you were a woman during the end of the world thing or maybe he really did like you for who you are?

The only way to find out was to try and get to know him, he seems like a really cool guy.

He looks open to anything, why not try and talk to him.

Changing into the clean clothes you open the door finding the room empty.

_Where did he go?_

You walk out of the bathroom holding the dirty clothes by just your finger tips. The bedroom door opens, a woman walking inside.

"Oh, hello." You greet the woman quickly in surprise.

_What was she doing in here?_

"So it is true, he did find another woman." She says crossing her arms across her chest.

_Well excuse me bitch._ You grumble to yourself. Maybe she has a thing for him. Honestly who wouldn't?

The thought of another woman wanting to be with him made you slightly jealous.

"Uh, actually it would be more like I accidentally crossed him." You answer with a little fire in the tone

"So have you slept with him yet?" She asks lifting an eyebrow.

"What?" How were you supposed to answer her question? Not physically, he hasn't put HIS hands on me but I did just get finished fingering myself in the bathroom thinking about him making me cum against his fingers.

Maybe that wouldn't be the right way to answer her.

Who was this woman? Why was she so interested in what Negan does?

"He's not just going to open his door not expecting to get laid." She says looking to you from your head to toe. "Some pay back." She uses a lot of emphasis on the K.

Feeling a bit judged you swallow down your urge to fight with her. Instead you try to keep it casual.

"He was just being nice." You brush it off.

"No honey he wasn't, he wants to get inside your pants." She says rolling her eyes.

"How do you know that?" You ask feeling a bit agitated with the woman's attitude towards you.

"Cause I was like you once, hell me and the other six of his wives." She says rolling her eyes.

"Come again?" 

_Wives? What does she mean wives?_

"Yeah, Negan has tons of wives. I'm one of them and I bet you a million bucks he's going to ask you to be his eighth wife." She chuckles.

_What the hell?_ _So he really didn't like you for you. Okay, he's just wanting to be with you because you are a woman during the end of the world._

_So much for thinking he could be the one. Hell he was open for sure, open to having enough wives to make any man cream themselves._

Your face flushes thinking about what you've just done in the bathroom. _How could you be so stupid?_

"Sherry, what the hell are you doing in my room?" Negan asks walking inside noticing you eyeing him from across the room.

He looks between Sherry and you. Eyes remaining on the short haired brunette woman.

"Just saying hi. Right." She turns towards you lifting an eyebrow.

_If this bitch thinks you're going to help her out right after she asked you if you slept with_ _Negan_ _she's got it wrong._

Before opening your mouth you realize she was being truthful with you. She was letting you know how he is and what he's going to be expecting. Maybe she wasn't the bad guy in this situation, maybe it was him.

"Yeah, she's very nice and truthful." You answer looking to Negan before glancing towards the woman once again. 

She lets out a silent breath in relief.

"Sherry, get out of here." He says looking to Sherry with seriousness and frustration.

She walks out of the room leaving it with just the two of you.

"What did she tell you?" He asks.

Here it is, the first fight with the man and you haven't even slept with him yet. 

_Yet? Get a grip, you're not letting this man come anywhere near or inside your body._

You place the dirty clothes in your finger tips on the bed not really caring about impressing him any longer.

"Everything. She's a real keeper." You answer giving a half smile.

"Then you know that doesn't change the way I feel about you."

You scrunch your eyebrows together and shake your head.

_Oh God, here's the famous line every man uses._ _'It doesn't change the way I feel about you.' You could gag just thinking of all the times you let some of your older (possibly deceased) ex-boyfriends step on you and lie to your face._

You weren't buying any of it. You know how to stand your ground and keep away from men like him.

Then why did his words make your pussy clench needing him to fill you up?

_Fuck! What's wrong with you?_

Taking a deep breath you know you need to get out of here. Maybe leaving your shack his morning wasn't such a great idea.

"It does for me. I'm not that kind of girl Negan." You explain.

"I know you're not and that's why I fucking like you. You've got a good head on your shoulders."

"Well that makes one of us." You spat out starting to walk past him but his large hand pull you back in front of him.

You didn't feel fear as he man handles you. It was more of a "If you're going to be this demanding you better tear of these clothes and show me how you really feel."

"Listen (Y/N), I brought you here to live like a queen. Never have to fend for yourself again and run from those undead sons of bitches. I did that, I made that happen. Don't you think I need a little pay back?"

_There it was, just like she said he would want. You were so mad at yourself for feeling something so naughty for him, he made you feel as if you were back in high school wanting all those damn football players._

_This time it was a baseball player._

Shaking the thought from your head you look to Negan, grabbing his hand from your forearm and releasing it so it hags by his side.

"You're right. You did a good thing, go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back." You answer sarcastically. "Cause that's all you'll be getting from me." You add walking past him and out of the room.

"(Y/N)." He says your name while you walk down the hall.

Turing around you see Negan watching you as you walk away.

How could he think what he's doing with all those women was okay?

You don't like the fact that you're going to be another notch on his belt. You wanted someone to want you because it was how they felt and not to add to a collection.

It just doesn't sit well with you.

Walking out from the hall and down the stairs you see all the others in The Sanctuary working.

If you weren't going to be one of his whores then maybe you could find a job like the others.

Going down the stairs you look for someone who looks to be in charge of working around the warehouse.

You find yourself next to a larger woman with a clip board, watching some of the others working.

She turns noticing you watching her.

"Can I help you?" She asks her voice sounding a little harsher then you pictured.

"Are you in charge of the working area here?" You ask.

"Why, you looking for a job?" She asks.

A job, it made you feel as if things were back to normal. Like none of the dead were walking around outside the walls.

"I am." You answer.

"Aren't you a little pretty to be working in the warehouse?" She asks eyeing you from top to bottom. 

"Aren't you being a little picky about who should work where they want, maybe I should go and have a nice chat with Negan."

Her face goes pale at his name being mentioned. Glancing to the paper on the clipboard she shakes her head.

"That wouldn't be necessary. Welcome to the team. What are your strengths and weaknesses?"

"I'm good at cooking, cleaning, organizing. I've been outside these walls longer then you probably have so I also know how to fight, shoot and scavenge for goods. You tell me where you want me and I'll be your girl." You smile knowing you sound a little conceited but you've been out in the open for so long it brought you sone pride.

She nods her head, eyeing Simon from across the room she whistles calling him over.

"I'm going to have you talk with Simon, he can find you a place to work." She says walking towards Simon as he approaches.

You stand behind her while she talks to him about you. You wait patiently, looking around the room you notice Negan at the top of the stairs watching you.

His stare makes you want to find another bathroom so you could rub the frustration away. He licks his lips causing your thighs to clench together with need.

You look away once Simon walks towards you, his hand reaching out towards you. You take it as he starts shaking it slowly.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Negan?" He asks keeping his eyes on you.

"Supposed to be but decided not to be." You give him a fake smile.

Simon turns eyeing Negan from across the room.

"Let me talk to the boss before I decide anything else." He replies glancing towards you before you nod your head in agreement.

He walks off making his way towards Negan.

You stare at Negan while Simon makes his way towards him. If he declines your offer then maybe coming here wasn't the best decision.

You would have to find a way out.

Simon finally reaches Negan, his eyes still lingering on you while Simon talks to him about you.

Why did he make you feel this way? Gnawing on your bottom lip you try to get the image of Negan licking his lip as he eyed you standing in your towel. Hos grip on your arm.

Looking away and around the large room, seeing the others working. How long do these people have to work?

You notice an older woman sewing up some clothes.

Do they make them feel welcomed or are they treated like shit?

You turn when you hear Negan's deep voice curse.

His eyes meet yours again, this time you can tell he's thinking.

Keeping your eyes on him, you make sure to let him know that you're serious. You don't want to stay in this place being a "supposed to be wife" and have people including Negan watching your every move while you just live there in The Sanctuary.

If you don't do something you'll go stir crazy.

Negan turns around clutching Lucille tightly in his hand while talking to Simon.

Simon nods before heading down towards you, his eyes meeting yours while he walks to you.

"So what's the diagnosis?" You ask eyeing Negan once again before Simon reaches you.

He stops in front of you, his eyes roaming your body.

"Eyes up here." You growl pointing to your eyes with both index and middle finger.

He looks into your eyes before nodding.

"He said you can be a Savior like us. Congrats new girl. You're going to be feared, hated and shot at. Be prepared." He watches you as you let a smile spread across your face.

"Also Negan wanted me to tell you once you're a savior you're off his list."

_His list? He has a list of women?_

Feeling disgusted by the thought of a list you make eye contact with Negan .

"Works for me." You answer giving Negan a thumbs up from across the room.

He pressed his lips together before he walked away and out of the room.


	4. Past Mistake

Months pass by while you've gone along with The Saviors, you've watched the way some of the other women Saviors acted and decided not to be like them. They were very butch and bitchy, which you don't like to be unless someone deserves it.

You keep to yourself and do what you're told, even though you don't agree with it. Keeping your opinions to yourself you've been successful with becoming a Savior for the most part.

Today after your run with the other groups you were all told to head back to The Sanctuary for a talk with the boss.

Negan hasn't spoken to you since that day in his room, in all honesty you haven't seen him. He possibly keeps you out of the way so he doesn't have to see you which makes it easier for you.

Since you haven't seen him you haven't felt those feeling. You've never needed a man to fuck you silly before.

The truck you're in enters The Sanctuary walls, climbing out of the truck the others and you head inside. The entire Sanctuary was in the large room, following instructions to get on your knees while Negan walks in.

You notice the guy who was with Negan and the others the day you met the group. He sits on a chair in the middle of the group, his arms are tied around to the arm rests and legs tied to the chairs legs.

Since you've been here you haven't seen anything like this happen before. In wonder you look around wanting to know if this was a normal thing.

Negan moves towards with a man sitting on a chair. _Damn it, what was that guys name again?_

"What's going on?" You ask one of the fellow Saviors.

"Shut up and watch." She whispers keeping her eyes directed to the scene before her.

Negan looks around to all the men and women in the room. Anger radiated off his skin and into the room, the tension in the room thick enough to cut with your machete.

"I had a conversation with my wife earlier, finding out that Brian here has in fact not only made a move on my wife but stuck his dirty dick inside of her."

_That's his name, Brian. How could I forget?_

"I have a rule that everyone knows. What is that one rule?" He asks to everyone in the room.

"Follow the rules." Everyone in the room says together like a cult would do.

You look around in surprise. What the hell was going on?

"Why?" He asks.

"The rules keep us alive." Everyone answers.

You furrow your eyebrows together never having heard this rule before or getting the memo of having to learn this cult like shit.

"That's God damn right. Brian you spineless snake, I fucking told you to keep away from all my wives. You never listen and for that- you're going to be punished, lucky for you Lucille isn't thirsty today but I am in the mood for some ironing." He smiles eyeing Brian from his chair.

"Please don't. I'm sorry." Brian begs trying to grab Negan as he pleads but his wrists bound to the chair making it difficult to do so.

"It's too late for that Brian." He replies turning to look to Simon.

Simon walks up with a large pair of black gloves, Negan slips into the gloves, eyeing everyone in the room  
He then makes his way towards the large fire pit made for burning wood and large items.

He pulls the iron that's hanging from above the flames by a steel pole.

He walks towards Brian a smile on his face. "Brian you are not sentenced to death but to live with your guilt. Everyday when you look at your face in the mirror, you'll remember how fucking disgusting and stupid you really are." He says loud enough that his voice echos through the filled room.

You feel your stomach begin to turn knowing he was going to use the sizzling hot iron on Brian's face.

Negan moves making sure everyone gets a good view while he places the iron on Brian's face. The sound and smell hit you like a tidal wave.

You feel a gag try to escape but keep it in until you leave. You need to make sure you don't throw up. You don't want everyone else thinking you were the weak savior. 

Brian screams loudly until he passes out, Negan pulls the iron back slowly. The sight of his skin dripping and stretching as if it were hot caramel was the last straw.

You gag feeling your stomach lurch.

Taking deep breaths you try to keep it in.

"Take the fucking bastard out of my sight." He shouts to some of The Saviors.

"That is what you'll get if you fuck one of my damn wives. You even look at them, I'll fucking pour gasoline on your Goddamn bodies and torch you." He shouts making sure everyone knows he was serious.

"Get back to work!" He shouts to everyone.

They start getting up off their knees and heading back. You stand quickly noticing Negan turning, his eyes landing on you in the middle of the other Saviors.

You haven't seen him in so long, he looked a little different. As if he was stressed and tired. Has he not had a good nights sleep in a few day?

Not really needing to worry about your handsome boss, you turn and start to head out until Negan calls you by name.

The way your name rolls off his tongue makes your stomach flip with need. Closing your eyes, you try to get the imagine of his tongue rolling around your needy clit out of your head.

Turning slowly to look to the dashingly handsome man, you notice his wife Sherry still standing behind him.

He notices your eyes directed on someone else behind him. 

"Yes boss?" You ask.

Negan turns around noticing her eyeing the both of you. You could tell by the way he looked towards her he wasn't in the mood for any of her games.

"Fuck off, Sherry." He growls in anger.

She eyes Dwight from across the room before walking off. Her eyes still lingering on you before she passes by leaving the large room and back to the wives quarters.

You heard rumors that Dwight and Sherry were married before all of this. In fact you were sure even though she is considered Negan's "wife" she was still in fact married to Dwight.

Negan starts towards you, his eyes examining your face making sure your paying attention.

"Walk with me, I have a few things to talk to you about." He starts as he walks ahead of you.

_What did he want to talk about? Maybe it was the fact that you've been doing a good job with you new job._

It wasn't too hard really, you would head to a few of Negan's other towns. Get the goods they collect for us and head back. Simple.

You follow close behind watching the others disperse in the room.

"What do you want to talk about boss?" You ask as Negan starts towards the stairs.

"I've noticed you have taken to your job well. I'm very impressed." He says sounding sincere.

"Thank you." You smile feeling proud of yourself.

You follow Negan as you both walk up the stairs and into the hallway toward his room.

"Simon has told me good things about you. You're a hard worker and do everything you're told."

"Want to make sure the other know The Saviors are serious about what they do." You reply.

_Yada yada yada._

He smiles liking your answer.

"I couldn't have said it any fucking better than that." He says. He eyes you as he opens the. door to his room and leads you in.

You walk inside noticing the room hadn't changed since the last time you were in there.

"I have one question for you, I want to hear you answer it with all honesty." He says placing Lucille on the side of the night stand.

"Go ahead." You nod, wanting to know what he wants you to answer.

He looks to you making sure to look into your eyes then down to your lips.

_The motherfucker._

He has to know what he was doing to you. 

Your desire for him to throw you onto the bed and tear your clothes off makes your core throb for some kind of attention.

"Who are you?" He asks.

_Who am I? Who does he think I am, I'm the same girl he met those months ago on the street. I'm that same girl who knows right from wrong._

"I'm (Y/N)." You answer.

Keeping his eyes down towards you he smiles.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. You may be working as a Savior, you may do exactly what you're told without asking questions but your that same girl I met on the street singing that damn song all those months ago." He says his smile causing another throb from your aching pussy.

He takes a couple steps towards you, you keep your ground watching him just inches in front of you.

"I also know something else about you that you can't deny." He adds with another beautiful smile and licks his bottom lip.

You take a deep breath not knowing what he was going to say, the anticipation is killing you. 

_God damn, do you want those lips on yours. Better yet, you want those lips around your swollen clit._

"What?" You whisper softly.

"You still have the hots for me." He smirks licking his bottom lip.

_Fuck, he was right._

You think about him constantly. You did it all for him and wanted to make sure he knew you did.

Not seeing him for so long pissed you off, you fucking hated not seeing him around The Sanctuary.

You couldn't keep you composure any longer. You lean on your tip toes and kiss him with all the fury you've had building up inside of you.

You were so angry after finding out about the other women, you were pissed he was already called for. You were furious he wasn't yours and only yours.

You've thought about how you could have reacted better then but your emotions lead you.

Now here you are kissing Negan, getting a second chance from that night.

You make sure to pull him into the kiss and wanting more. You place your hands onto his chest and push him back against the wall. 

_This is what you should have done all those months ago, make him yours so he could forget about the other girls. Tonight that is exactly how you're going to fix your past mistake._

He eyes you silently wanting to know what you were going to do next. 

Maybe you would have him caress your body, feel his large hands upon your breasts. Maybe you would get down on your knees and make him beg for his release.

"What are you going to do?" He asks licking his bottom lip seductively.

Placing your finger over his lips to silence him. You lick your lips before speaking. 

"Speak only when you're spoken to." You command moving your finger away from his lips before biting his bottom lip and pulling his it as far as it can go .

His hands grab onto your hip roughly making you let his lip go with a wet slap.

Pulling back you point towards the bed. "Take off your clothes and sit on the bed."

"Yes ma'am." He smiles taking off his gloves slowly as he watches you, he kicks off his boots while unzipping his leather jacket and throws it to you. The leather smelling of cologne and cigarettes.

He unbuckles his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. Pulling them down, you bite your bottom lip as his hard length stands at attention, then realizing he goes commando.

"Naughty boy." You smirk. Putting on his leather jacket, you let the leather swim on your smaller form. With a smirk you grab ahold of Lucille.

"The hell you think you're doing?" He asks in all seriousness.

"Did I tell you to speak?" You ask taking a step towards him. "She's in good hands, don't you want to see some girl on girl action?" You smirk giving the tip of Lucille's handle a gentle kiss.

He quiets down realizing you weren't going to do anything bad with his precious baseball bat.

Pointing Lucille towards him you raise an eyebrow. "Take your fucking shirt off." You demand roughly.

Negan licks his lips before pulling his shirt off and throwing it to the ground. Moving to the bed he sits laying his back against the headboard.

You climb onto the bed fully clothed, still wearing his leather jacket and Lucille clutched in you hand. You stand over him, keeping your eyes on him from below.

"Look what we fucking have here. Negan, naked and vulnerable under my Goddamn command." Pointing Lucille towards him you lay her gently against his neck and shoulder. Pushing down gently just to have the barbed wire poke his skin.

"Repeat after me." You press a little harder onto his skin. "I'm yours." You move to straddle his legs and slap him across the face making sure he gets the point.

"I'm yours." He repeats eyeing you while trying to keep his smile hidden.

"I don't think you get it." You growl grabbing the back of his hair and pulling roughly. "You belong to me." You pull his hair.

"I belong to you." He says without you having to ask.

You smile down to him, dragging Lucille against his skin small lines of blood pushes through his skin.

"Fuck yeah you do." Leaning in you capture your lips with his pulling back to bite his bottom lip.

"Are you done being the female me?" He asks slowly pulling off his jacket from your body.

"You tell me big boy." He throws his jacket to the floor, following with your shirt and bra. He licks a trail down your neck to your left breast. Capturing your nipple into his mouth, he sucks causing you to moan aloud.

He reaches his arms up and over your shoulders making sure you don't move away from him while he switches to the other nipple.

You pull on his hair keeping his face in place where you want him.

Letting your nipple go with a pop he licks a trail up towards your neck.

Kissing his jawline to his ear you lick your lips.

"I want you Negan." You whisper into his ear before nibbling on his earlobe.

"Are you asking me?" He pulls back with a smile that you want to slap off his face. You move your hands behind his back and scratch up causing him to groan in pleasure.

"I'm telling." You growl.

He lifts you before flipping you onto your back, he looks down to you taking your lips with his while his hands travel down to your pants.

"Kick off those fucking shoes." He demands.

You follow his instruction while he starts pulling your pants and panties down in one swift movement.

He eyes your wet pussy from below, kissing down your neck he widens your legs making room for the width of his shoulders.

He kisses down to your torso stopping to look up to you, his smile appearing; knowing he's causing you to feel like you were going to explode.

"Don't you fucking stop." You pant running your fingers through his hair trying to keep yourself composed.

"Beg." He says pulling away slightly not moving any further.

"Please don't stop." You beg.

"Why? What do you want?" He asks his voice sounding deeper.

You feel like you could burst into a ball of flames if he doesn't continue his way down to where you need him most.

"I want you to fucking eat me out, God damn it!" You growl scratching your nails against his back.

"You want me to eat that pussy?" He asks touching your pussy lips with the back of his knuckles.

"Fuck, yes!" You moan once his knuckles rubs against your throbbing clit.

The asshole wanted to make you squirm with need. He had you right in the palm of his hands. Playing with you like the little doll you are.

He licks his lips before moving further down, keeping his eyes on you. He kisses the inside of your thighs, his scruff rubbing perfectly against the soft flesh of your thighs.

Breathing heavily you try to pull him by his hair towards your pussy right where you want him. He chuckles against your thigh before moving to the next one.

"Fucking eat it already, you fucking tease." You groan feeling very impatient.

He lifts his eyes up towards you, enjoying your demands. He moves his head in front of your mound, keeping his eyes trained on you, he blows gently causing you to moan his name.

He smirks as he moves in, licking your pussy.

Tightening your fingers in his hair, you watch as he closes his eyes to devour you like you were his last meal.

"Fuck Negan, eat it baby." You moan loving the way he laps at your cunt making sure to clean up all your juices.

His finger finds your clit increasing the experience to 100%.

"Fuck, keep going." You beg feeling your stomach begin to flutter, the heat pulling down further and further.

The grunts he makes while eating you out pulls you over the edge. You scream pulling his hair with one hand and scratching up his back with the other.

He cleans up the juices before pulling away, his sexy scruff glistening with your wetness.

Crawling up toward you, he kisses you with a fierce passion. The taste of you still lingering on his tongue.

Rubbing his back you move your hand to his lower stomach and gently touch his massive cock.

He was huge, your whole hand can't even wrap around to meet your fingers.

_Fuck, were you going to be able to let him all the way inside?_

_Fuck it, knowing him he'll figure out a way._

"Mesmerized I see." He say watching You mentally try to do the math on how in the world he would fit inside your tiny cunt.

_Cocky prick._

"You want this cock baby?" He asks while you slowly pump your hand along his thick shaft.

All these months waiting for him to even have a taste of your needy pussy. Now having him before you gloriously nude and cock red with need to be inside of you. You've waited to long for this.

"You know I fucking do." You whisper in his ear.

He pulls back to kiss you, his arm moving to pin your hand against the bed. While your other hand still works his large member.

"Gonna need you to stop playing with my dick Doll, unless you want to wait a little later?" He asks knowing what your answer would be.

Letting him go, you bite your lip watching him lift his hips, the tip of his cock rubbing against your aching clit.

"Gonna fuck this perfect pussy, ruin you for any other God damn mother fucker who isn't me." He growls teasing you with the tip of his cock.

"It's all yours. I don't want anyone else." You moan against his lips.

Negan aligns his cock to your slick opening, placing his free hand on your hip, he lift you up; from your hips down are lifted off the bed.

Negan presses his cock to your pussy lips widening to accommodate his girth and length.

"Gonna stuff you till you're full." He says continuing to push into you aching cunt.

"Then do it you bastard. Enough hesitating." You growl needing him.

He chuckles continuing to push inside. His girth stretches you leaving a burning need, he pushes further inside until his balls lay flat against your ass.

"Shit Doll, didn't think we would ever get to this point." He says with a chuckle.

"Yeah." You pant for breath trying to get used to his large cock. "Me either." You answer licking your lips.

He starts to pull back causing you to moan and clutch at his back.

"Fucking tight Doll." He groans. "Shit, fucking squeezing my dick."

It's been years since you've slept with someone, your last relationship and you rarely had sex to even call it that. Pulling away from the past you look into Negan's pleasure filled face.

He pushes back inside, the tip of his cock hitting something inside causing you to moan in pleasure.

"Fucking hell. Do that again. Please, do it again baby." You beg wrapping your legs around his hips.

"Gonna make you scream." He says leaning back on his legs and making you sit on his lap, taking his cock even deeper.

"Ah." You shout clinging to him once he starts fucking into you with a fierce passion.

The sounds of your connected bodies, his grunting and heavy breathing echo inside his room.

"You like that don't you, you dirty girl." He grunts pushing deep inside of you.

"Fuck yes." Grasping onto his shoulders, nails digging deep into his skin with your needy pleasure.

You both create a rhythm you both like, he pushes inside of you while you fall into his lap. His cock rubs your g-spot making you scream with need.

"Fucking take my cock baby. Take every inch. Take it. Take it!" He slams into you repeatedly leaving you a screaming mess, your orgasm hits you like a train. Your eyes roll to the back while he continues pounding into your throbbing pussy.

"Fucking squeeze me baby. I love how you squeeze me."

He throws you back onto the bed, making sure not to hurt you. Pushing your leg over his left shoulder he continues pounding you with the new angle.

"Gonna make you cum again. Want to feel you squeeze me again. Come on Doll." He moans into your ear before pulling back to watch his cock slide in and out of you.

"I can't." You pant trying to catch your breath from the earlier orgasm.

"Yes you fucking can. Cum on my dick baby!"

The sound of his grunting, wet slap of your juices and the bed hitting the wall pulls you into your third orgasm.

"Oh shit." You scream. "Negan, don't stop." You cry feeling your legs begin to shake.

"Fuck yeah doll. Gonna make me cum." He grunts.

"Cum inside me, please cum inside me." You pant pulling his head towards you before kissing him with all you have.

Negan pulls back, moaning he looks into your eyes before looking up and towards the wall before pushing all the way inside of you and shooting his load.

Negan lays on top of you, breathing heavily his eyes closed. You watch him as he looks down and smiles at you.

"That was fucking amazing Doll." He says kissing you sweetly before moving off of you to lay by your side.

"It was, might have been the best I ever had." You explain before climbing out of the bed.

"Where you going?" He asks noticing you bend over to grab your clothes.

"I have to get dressed and go back to work. I'm still a Savior." You smile putting your bra on and slipping into your panties.

"I thought maybe you would like to cuddle." He says sitting up watching you dress.

"I would love to Negan but duty calls." You smile throwing on your shirt and pants.

"Bed's still warm." He offers looking to the other side of the bed where he wants you to return to.

God knows how you wanted to climb back into the bed and say with him. Have him hold you with his muscular arms, feel his kisses as he worships your body but you couldn't do that. You weren't one of his wives and you wanted to show him that you weren't his wife.

He didn't own you. 

"Maybe another time." You smile putting your shoes on and leaning over to kiss him one last time.

"Doll, don't tell me you're wham bam thanking me and never coming back?"

"I'll come back. Believe me this was not a one time thing." You smile starting to walk to the door.

"Be my wife." He says as you grab onto the door knob.

You smile and shake your head.

"Tempting, but no. I like this tainted love we've got going." You blow him a kiss before walking out of the room.

The sound of his laughter from behind the door makes you smile, you know you've got Negan right where you want him.

There was no need to become his wife, what just happened in there was the beginning of many more fun times.

The beautiful evil man would have to wait for you this time.


	5. Not The Stress Relief

Weeks pass since your fun evening with Negan. You've been too busy with staying at another area away from all the dead the Alexandria people sent out on The Sanctuary.

You've been lucky enough not to be in the middle of the chaos. Of course, you know Negan wasn't lucky enough.

Gavin keeps in contact with Negan by walkie talkie while away from The Sanctuary. Thankfully you know he's okay but things have become too serious.

You didn't really know who these Alexandria asshole's are except the fact that they work strictly with Negan. They don't like to share very much and they have a leader who is a bit cocky.

Maybe even cockier then Negan.

On a less serious note, you we're told to continue to work with Gavin and the other team for today in The Kingdom.

Normally you go to the sister site of The Sanctuary. Give them some of the goods you've collected from the other safe groups.

Today was a normal collect and leave kind of day, working with the B group. Group leader Gavin, Todd, Frank, Jacob and asshole Jared.

Leaning against a large truck chewing some stale bubble gum you watch Gavin make his stand in front of a man who calls himself King Ezekiel.

The guy literally speaks properly and as if he were living in the medieval times. He stands in front of your group with a large man who looks Samoan, a skinny kid and an older woman. 

"It's all there for you and the others." Ezekiel says to Gavin as he briefly makes eye contact with you.

You pop that bubble loudly and suck it back into your mouth wanting to make another one. 

It has been years since you've found gum, damn it if you weren't going to blow bubbles then what was the point?

"Thank you Ezekiel, you have always made it easy for us." Gavin begins making Todd grab the items from their delivery vehicle to our truck.

"I do not want any trouble for my people and for yours. It is the only way to keep things right." Ezekiel says eyeing everyone of the savior including you.

"Yeah yeah yeah." Jared begins from your left side.

Jared has made your time as a Savior a living hell. Honestly if you could, you would break his nose just to shut him the fuck up.

Popping another bubble you suck it back in before rolling your eyes and meeting Jared's stare.

"Keep popping that gum and I'll pop your neck." Jared threatens causing Gavin and the others to turn their attention towards the both of you.

"Try me asshat. I'll wipe the floor with you since you're such a pussy ass bitch." You lift an eyebrow before popping another bubble.

Jared starts towards you but is stopped by Gavin's hand on his chest.

"Will you two shut the hell up and focus." Gavin scolds.

"If she-"

"Doesn't matter Jared. Shut up, both of you." He walks off leaving you smiling towards Jared.

He rolls his eyes and turns towards the others.

Looking away you continue on chewing your gum, not hearing what Gavin and Ezekiel were saying.

Honestly you could care less what they had to say, it wasn't like it mattered.

Once Gavin and Ezekiel shake hands it was time to head back to the Sanctuary, you've been waiting for this day. You had plans on possibly getting to see Negan, at least you we're hoping you'd see him.

As you all head into the truck Jared stops you before you're even able to climb into the truck, he punches you in the stomach causing you to lose your breath.

"I told you to stop popping that damn gum." He grunts while he pulls back to punch you again.

Not liking where this is going you move quickly and kick him in the balls. He falls to his knees gasping for air, pulling him by his long hair you wrap your hand around a few times before lowering yourself down to his level.

"I also told you I'd wipe the floor with you." Pushing him down, you slam his head against the side of the truck a few times.

Before being able to punch him you're being pulled off by Ezekiel.

"Calm down miss." He says calmly by your ear.

"What the hell is happening?" Gavin asks making his way towards you and Ezekiel.

"The man punched her, she was defending herself." The Samoan guy in Ezekiel's group says making sure to pull Jared away from you.

"What is up with the both of you?" Gavin asks eyeing you before looking to a bloody Jared.

"Maybe she finally put you in your place." Gavin says walking towards you, eyeing you up and down noticing not a scratch on you.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'll heal. He punched the breath out of me but I know how to defend myself." You add.

He nods.

"You know, I'm gonna have to tell the boss." He adds glancing in between both of you.

_Shit._

"Gavin, please don't." You beg quietly.

If Negan were to find out you fought with sone asshole he would be pissed. He would possibly pull me from the group.

"It's the rules." He explains, eyes examining your racing mind.

"Screw the rules for once." You add.

"Can't, the rules-"

"Keep us alive. Yeah I get it. Some bullshit." You cross your arms and shake your head.

"You've got a filthy mouth on you for being a young lady." Ezekiel says letting you go.

"That's a lot coming from a man who calls himself a King." You smile before heading to the truck.

Gavin has you sit in the front while Jared and another guy sits in the back of the truck.

Today was the first day back to the Sanctuary since they got all the biters killed and cleaned out. Finally you were going to be able to walk back into your home, or the ghost town of a home.

The drive was quiet, maybe a little to quiet. You wonder if Gavin is reciting how he was going to break the news to Negan in his head?

Sitting back in the truck you let out an exasperated sigh.

Negan was going to be pissed at you for hitting one of his guys. It's not like you bitch slapped Simon.

"I know you would rather avoid talking with Negan about the fight." Gavin glances towards you before casting his eyes to the road. "It's getting bad. Jared and you."

He was right. Jared and you got into a verbal argument a few weeks ago over some beef jerky. You found it at the bottom of one of the boxes and Jared pulled it right out of your hands.

"That wasn't my fault either. He grabbed the jerky from me. How would you feel if he took your shit from you and said he was the one who found it?"

"Well you got it back didn't you?" He asks glancing over.

"I did and it was some damn good jerky. Let me tell you." A large smile crosses your face.

"(Y/N), you're changing the subject. I didn't tell Negan about the first argument but since this one was physical I have to let him know. Especially since you were punched." He sighs shaking his head.

"Cause I'm a girl?" You ask not understanding why it was such a big deal.

The other guys get in fights all the time and Negan never gets in the middle of the issue.

"Exactly." He answers plainly.

It just didn't seem right, the other ladies argue with each other and some of the guys.

 _Did_ _Negan_ _ask for Gavin to keep his eye on you for him?_

Driving to The Sanctuary gates where you know the shits gonna hit the fan once Negan finds out what happened today. This was just going to add to the other shit he's dealing with.

Walking out and into The Sanctuary the place looks emptier and quieter then before. Lots of people were missing and work stations were left empty.

Glancing towards the area where the old woman was once busy working, now empty.

Gavin leads Jared and you towards Negan's office. You try not to let the eerie feeling of the silence in the building take over you so you continue towards Negan's office.

Your heart pounds in your chest while walking into his office, Negan sits at the desk reviewing a large map.

Gavin knocks on the door causing Negan to look up from the map and towards the door.

Noticing you, his eyes lighting up.

"Can I help you?" He asks looking to Gavin before eyeing you again.

"We have a problem." Gavin begins.

Negan's eyebrows furrow together, placing his hand over the bridge of his nose he squeezes. He then stands grabbing Lucille from the table and walking in front of the three of you.

"Well let's talk. What's the problem?" Negan asks the stress on his face visible.

What you would do to kiss the stress from his face, rub his shoulders and let him know all things were going to be just fine.

"Jared and (Y/N) got into a fight today while we were on a run at The Kingdom. He struck her which lead her to defend herself." Gavin announces pulling you out of thought.

Keeping your eyes on Negan you try to hide the fear of what was to come.

Negan becomes very serious when he hearing the news. He eyes you before walking in front of Jared.

"You put your hands on a woman?" He asks getting closer to the skinny man.

Jared keeps his eyes down and mouth shut.

"Answer me!" Negan shouts.

You knew you shouldn't have been afraid for yourself, the fear should have been for Jared. He was the one who would get into some serious shit after hitting a woman.

 _Negan's_ _woman. Thank you very much_.

"Yeah, I did only because she wouldn't stop popping her damn gum." Jared answers.

The asshole was boasting about punching you. He was proud of himself and he probably would do it again if he had the chance.

The sympathy you felt for Jared vanished. Why not be proud standing up for yourself?

You kicked the guys ass.

Negan pulls back and looks towards you.  
You smile letting the piece of gum slide through your slightly open lips before sucking it back in to continue to chew.

He raises an eyebrow towards you before turning his attention back towards Jared.

The look he gives you is coated in amusement. Turning to glance back to the skinny man, he eyes him up and down. 

The dried blood in his nose, mouth and purple bruise forming from smashing his head against the side of the truck. His long blonde hair was still mangled against his shoulders.

"So let me get this straight. You put your hands on her because she was popping her gum?" Negan asks trying to understand the situation.

"Damn right I did." Jared answers with a nod.

"I think you're a little too excited about what happened today, you struck her and not only could you not keep to your 'I'm a badass hippie' but you got your stupid ass whooped by a woman." Negan chuckles glancing towards you.

You raise an eyebrow towards Negan.

By a woman? You must have given him a look that was silently telling him to "Fix what you said or else I'll kick your ass too."

Clearing his throat, Negan tightens his grip on Lucille.

"Not saying she isn't strong and women always need saving. Obviously she proved herself to you and everyone else around."

You nod your head and give a thumbs up letting him know he fixed what he said.

"I don't know if you still think you're a badass but to me you look like a fucking fool who decided to try and show off but ended up getting his ass kicked for thinking he's the shit but clearly isn't."

You nod agreeing with Negan, Jared keeps his eyes straight ahead not liking what Negan has to say.

Negan notices you snuggly agreeing with him, he points his leather gloved hand towards you.

"Keep it up, don't think I'm not going to have a conversation with you too." He says his face stern.

Swallowing gently, you nod your head and look towards the ground.

"We can solve this problem three ways because I've got a lot of shit laying on my plate that I would like to fucking fix before the end of the goddamn week. One, Lucille has been begging me for some action. Two, we can get some fucking ironing done or Three, ladies choice."

Jared quickly looks to you not liking the choices he has to pick from.

Chewing your gum slowly you know exactly what Negan is going to choose. Smiling towards Negan abd taking a step up. It's been a while since you've seen him abd the fact that he was making you choose Jared's fate was the icing on the cake.

You bite your lip looking Negan up and down. His leather jacket unzipped showing off his white shirt, his black jeans hugging him in the right places.

_Damn would you like to tear him up on the spot. To hell who sees._

Realizing you're staring you look away noticing Negan smiling towards you.

He must feel the same way or else he's reading your mind. 

"Looks like I'm up." You start by taking a step forward and cracking your knuckles.

"How about we keep us separated. I'll go to another team and he'll stay with Gavin and the others." You knew it's simple but nobody really needs to get hurt any more then he was already.

Gavin, Jared and Negan all look towards you in surprise.

"What?" Jared asks.

He must have thought you would choose an end for him. You may be a Savior, but you're still human who has feelings.

"As long as we're separated we'll be fine. You'll stay away from me; which will make me very happy and I'll be with another team. I'll get the chance to see another group and their shit we take from them." A smile reaches your face, happy with your none violent decision.

Negan nods his head.

"I think the lady has made a decision." He says glancing to Jared and lifting an eyebrow.

Jared nods. "Fair. I think we'll both be happy." Jared says looking to you with a smug smile.

"Also, I do want you to know. You try to come near me and mess with me again. I'll kick your ass in front of the entire Sanctuary." You finish with a smile and making sure to get under his skin one last time you pop another bubble.

He takes a deep breath before looking to Negan with irritation.

You had to, Negan couldn't blame you for having a little fun with the dickwad. Since it was your last time seeing him.

Eyeing Negan, he rolls his eyes at your gum popping. Focusing on Jared he stares the annoyed look off Jared's face.

"You heard her. Now get the fuck out of here." Negan growls watching Jared haul ass out of his office and into the hallway.

Gavin glances towards you, silently waiting.

You continue chewing your gum while looking towards the door.

"Don't think you're getting away from being disciplined." Negan approaches you, standing directly in front of you he lift his gloved hand by your mouth.

You roll your eyes and spit the gum out into his hand. Eyeing Gavin, he grumbles to himself having to watch the scene before him.

"You brutally assaulted one of my Saviors. Pranced your happy ass here as if you won a championship and pop a bubble inside my office. You might think you're tough, but you're reckless. If you even think about crossing a line again like you have today there will be consequences." Negan's stare bores into your soul. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir." You answer. "Crystal."

Negan turns towards Gavin. "Problem fucking solved."

Gavin nods, thanking Negan he leaves the room leaving it to be just the both of you.

Negan takes a deep breath tossing the piece of gum into the garbage bin and rubs his face with his gloved hand. 

"Are you hurt?" He asks lifting his head up towards you.

You turn your attention towards Negan and shake your head.

That whole thing was an act for Gavin. You knew he could care less about a squirrelly jackass like Jared. 

"It hurt for a little but I'm okay. Nothing I can't handle." You answer placing your hands in your pockets.

"Haven't seen you in some time." Negan begins as he starts towards you. "It's been fucking crazy around here." He adds sighing loudly.

"You know how it is Negan." You move so your further away from him. "We're both busy. You've got shit on your plate, I've got some on mine." You don't want to mention what's been happening here at The Sanctuary knowing it's taking a toll on him.

"Maybe we can make things a little easier for the both of us." He says making sure to close the door.

"How could we do something like that?" You ask knowing what he wants but making sure he knows he has to try asking for it.

"Well for starters. If you like, I think it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out." He passes the foreplay and heads right home base

You raise your eyebrows and blink a few times before shaking your head.

"I don't think so." You answer.

"Why not?" He asks a little irritated.

"It's just not the right kind of atmosphere, I was just punched in the gut and you want me to have sex with you because we're both stressed." You lick your bottom lip. "Do I have to remind you that you have six wives to help with your stress relief?" You bring up the facts knowing damn well he didn't want to hear about it.

You could see the need for you in his eyes. He didn't want them he wanted you. You didn't want to be his lay when he needs it, you wanted to be the amazing sex partner when you both want each other. 

"I don't want my wives this time." He replies making his way towards you. 

"Clearly." You furrow your eyebrows together.

He places his arms around you, gently rubbing his large hands along the curve of your back. His lips ghost against yours, his eyes meeting yours silently asking for permission.

"You understand me more then those ladies, I know you feel what I'm feeling. I can see it. I just need to feel something more then stress and anger." He gently says against your face.

"Negan." You whisper.

"Yeah Doll?" He asks waiting to hear the words. 

Eyeing something to the side of Negan you sigh quickly. Throwing your arms around the back of his neck; you lift yourself onto your tip toes, your lips near his ear.

"I think it's sexy that you want me so bad, it's got me feeling all gooey inside but I don't think sex with me will be the problem solver tonight."

"Why's that?" He asks pulling back to look at you.

"Cause there's something on fire out in the woods." You reply your eyes casted out the window of his office and onto the black smoke coming from beneath the trees.

He turns and sees what you're eyeing. "For fuck sakes." Negan shouts letting you go and clutching onto Lucille.

"To be continued." He says looking to you as he starts out the door.

You look around before following him out the door. Does he really think you're not going along.

"I don't know why you think you're leaving me here, I'm a damn Savior I'm going with you." You begin as you quicken your step to catch up.

"The hell you are." He says rushing down the hall and towards the stairs.

"I am. It's just a fire." You reply shaking your head.

_He will not going to win this, you were coming with whether he likes it or not._

Negan stops and turns around towards you. "It's not just some fucking fire (Y/N). It could be fucking Rick Grimes and his fucking people. They never ask questions, they just do shit and kill a fuck ton of my Saviors. So no, you're not going cause I don't want anything happening to you." He says pulling you towards him and kissing you before he walks away leaving you breathless.


	6. Don't Call Me Sir

Hours pass since Negan and a large group of his Saviors left to investigate the fire out in the woods.

You sit in Negan's office next to his window watching the night sky camouflage the dark smoke.

You hate this kind of shit, staying back in the safe haven because there was some sort of danger outside the doors.

You know how to keep yourself safe, you know how to kill, fight. You fucking know how to take care of yourself.

What if Negan got hurt while he was away, maybe one of the people who started the fire was still around.

You hear talking outside the door which pulls you away from your thoughts.

"Gather more Saviors. This shit has gone out more then Negan thought it would."

_Was the fire spreading? Was the arsonist around?_

You stand and make your way towards the door, opening it you see Simon with Gavin.

"(Y/N)." Simon says in surprise.

Gavin raises an eyebrow realising you were still in the office from earlier.

"What ate you still doing in here?" Gavin asks.

Ignoring his question you glance to Simon. He was the only one who could help when Negan is absent.

"Let me go with you, I can help." You stand straight making sure they both know you're serious.

You can't wait here any longer. You need to make sure Negan is safe, he could always use the help. Damn it, you haven't seen him in a long time.

"Negan said-"

"I don't give a fuck what Negan said. I'm going to help and that's that. If you got a fucking problem with another body going out to help then maybe you're not too worried about what going on out there, but it looks to me you guys can't be to picky right about now." You interrupt knowing damn well Simon hates being interrupted. 

Simon sighs quickly and shakes his head before turning towards you.

"He's gonna kill me if something happens to you." Simon answers.

_He what? Did he know about your one night with_ _Negan_ _? Does he talk to him about you?_

_Maybe if you play it off it will look like nothing ever happened. Simon or Gavin wouldn't know. Right?_

A smile spreads across your face, patting Simon on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, nothing is gonna happen to me out there." Of course you couldn't know for sure but you have to make a point to Simon. 

You were reliable, always ready for more action. You craved being in the middle of the fun. 

With Negan being protective over you, you really don't get to deal with the crazy and dangerous tasks.

Walking out of Negan's room you make your way towards your own room and grab your hammer, sheathed machete and your gun just in case you'll need to use it.

God, you hope you get to use one of them.

Grabbing a rubber band you throw your hair up in a ponytail and head out following the large group of Saviors out the doors of The Sanctuary.

Three large trucks begin to fill with every one of The Saviors. You climb into one of the trucks with Simon, his eyes rolling once he realizes you took the seat next to him.

"You're making me regret it already." He says turning the truck on and putting it into gear.

"Just shut up and drive." You answer.

He drives off leading the other trucks towards the woods.

The sound of your heart beating quickly fills your ears, you've never been out with something this exciting before.

Mostly you've been out for runs and pick ups but this, this was actual action.

It was about fucking time too.

Starting to reach the area, the smell of burning reaches your nose. Moving your sleeve over your hand you cover your nose from the thick smell.

"Should have told you to bring something to cover your mouth and nose." Simon says looking to you before reaching the opening where the others are standing. The large flames behind them illuminating their silhouettes.

The fire was larger then you expected. Of course with the large smoke you saw coming from the office you knee it wasn't going to be small.

Eyeing the others you try to understand what's going on. "Why are they just standing there?" You ask in confusion.

"Cause we have another truck coming that's gonna be filled with water." Simon answers parking the truck.

You open the door and climb out the smell stronger then before, shutting the door you and Simon walk in front of the truck. The other Saviors make their way out of the trucks. You step up seeing Negan with his back towards you while he talks with another one of his Saviors.

"Once that fucking truck gets here I want you leading the damn thing, I know you were a fireman before the world ended so I'll have you do what you know best." Negan says to the guy as he nods his head.

Negan turns hearing the loud talk from the other Saviors, his eyes scanning the area before they land on Simon then you. He sighs and lowers his head in defeat. 

"What the fuck is this?" Negan asks walking towards Simon and you.

"Sir, hear me out." Simon begins.

"Shut up Simon." Negan growls before grabbing you by the arm and leading you to the other side of the clearing.

His large hand keeps you in his grasp once he stops a few feet away from anyone else. His eyes stare into your soul as if you've just ran over his dog.

"Why the fuck are you here?" He asks.

"Wow, what kind of a question is that for one of your-"

"Watch what you're saying." He warns looking around making sure no one heard.

"I was just going to say Saviors." You smirk. Now wasn't the time play around with Negan, he was focused on getting a real answer from you. Of course it's fun making Negan nervous. Even if it is about him sleeping with one of his female Saviors.

He looks down at you and waits for you to answer his earlier question.

You roll your eyes and shrug.

"I couldn't just sit there thinking something was going to happen that I could have helped prevent." You answer. "I also wanted to make sure you were okay." You add.

Negan's hand grasping your arms loosens, gently rubbing his thumb against your arm he sighs in exhaustion.

"I'm fine Doll. This was made to taunt me. Someone who really hates The Saviors. Who hates me." He answers.

"Rick Grimes right?" You ask.

"He's just some asshole who thinks he knows shit but doesn't know shit." He shakes his head.

"So does that mean you're going to pay him back for this?" You ask lifting an eyebrow as you cross your arms over your chest.

He looks to you as if you were speaking in a foreign language.

"How?"

"Fire, bring it to his place. He wants to play with you that way bring the game to his home." You shrug your shoulders. "He did the same thing to The Sanctuary, give him a taste of his own medicine."

Negan smiles down to you, his large hand meeting your chin.

"I think I may have just fallen for you." He smiles towards you.

"Don't go that far. You still have wives back home wanting your heart." You smile knowing he probably meant what he had just said. Instead you act as if you don't care, if he knew you did it would be game over for you.

"They're not like you." He adds keeping his eyes on you.

"Who is?" You smile before walking away and heading towards the truck to grab something to cover your face with. 

Once you find something to cover your face; the sound of the large truck filled with water arrives, you close the door and watch as Negan talks with the men about what to do.

He finishes talking and looks around to see you waiting by the truck.

Negan walks over towards you, his eyes scanning your body. "(Y/N)."

You look up and smile. "Yes boss?" You ask once he reaches you.

"Come with me, I've decided to take your advice. I've got two trucks headed to Alexandria now, I'd like you to join me on this one."

Negan actually wants you to come along for some down right fun? If you could do a backflip you would. Also the backflip would probably make Negan want you a little more.

"Gladly sir." You smile widely as you watch the others start working on the big truck.

Negan and you make your way towards his truck, helping you up you both head to Alexandria. Simon climbs in after you taking the window seat.

"Don't call me sir anymore." Negan starts as he drives the truck down the street.

_"Don't call me sir anymore?" What does he mean? You ask yourself. What did he want you to call him._

Finding a window you decide to take a shot and play with him for a little.

Turning your attention towards him you smirk. "Okay, do you prefer daddy?" You ask knowing that might do something to him.

Negan bites his bottom lip trying to keep a moan from escaping his throat.

Simon turns his head so fast you thought his neck would snap.

Negan looks to you his eyebrows raising before he chuckles a bit.

He licks his bottom lip and shakes his head.

Deciding on making it seem like a joke, you turn to Simon and make sure to meet his eye.

"Don't worry Simon, you can call him that too." You smile.

"No, thanks you." Simon says.

"No!" Negan shouts over Simon's voice.

You laugh enjoying your time with these two guys. You slept with one and you're pretty sure the other one wants to sleep with you.

Negan shakes his head towards you and bites his bottom lips, he places his free gloved hand on your left thigh. Rubbing up your leg gently he looks at you through the rearview mirror.

You glance towards Simon making sure he wasn't getting an eyeful. Thanking God his eyes were directed out the window, you glance towards Negan.

He smiles knowing it was your move, you lick your lips before placing your left hand on the bulge in his pants.

Negan closes his eyes and quickly reopens them remembering he's still driving the truck.

You massage the large bulge in your hand knowing he has to remain silent.

You imagine continuing to rub Negan through his pants, watching him silently enjoying your handy work and cumming in his pants.

You winder if you continue to cup his balls if he would make a single noise?

He moves his hand away from your thigh silently calling truce.

You pull your hand away before chuckling to yourself. Maybe you would have to find out another time.

Negan leans in towards your ear, his breath hitting your neck.

"Just wait until we're alone." He whispers.

"Good luck getting me alone." You reply seeing his smile filled with lust. He was enjoying your teasing and playing hard to get. 

You were feeling a little turned on yourself. Of course this wasn't the time and place to do anything about it.

"I'll get you." He adds against your ear.

This was going to be a fun game of cat and mouse.


	7. Fire Starter

The both of you made a pit stop to drop off Simon when one of the Walkie talkie calls asked for backup to try and find the others from The Hilltop.

Negan and you continued to Alexandria, less trucks then before but enough for back up.

Negan's truck reaches Alexandria's gates before the others, Negan turns towards you silently telling you to stay safe.

The others finally arrive, they climb out once parked along the road. 

"I'm having second thoughts." He whispers so quietly you hardly hear him.

"Look at me." You begin placing your hand on his right cheek.

He turns eyeing you, meeting your eyes for support. Placing both hands on his cheeks, rubbing your thumb gently over his cheek bone.

"Do you think they had second thoughts when they set the fire in the woods? Do you think they had second thoughts when they brought all the dead roamers to the Sanctuary?"

The light within him brightens with your words, nodding his head in understanding he pulls back glancing towards the wall.

"You're right. I'm done with these fucking cock sucking bastards. We end them tonight." He leans in kissing your lips before opening the truck door.

Negan gets out of the truck, climbing out you stand by the front of the truck examining the large walls to Alexandria.

Everyone else moves to the front of their trucks, guns in hands. Negan grabs a microphone from another Savior and turns it on. The sound of the speaker coming from one of the trucks signals that it's working and ready.

Negan walks to the gates, using Lucille he slams her against the large metal gate. Knocking on the door to signal that he was there.

Lifting the microphone, the speaker squeaks as he smiles towards you and begins. 

"You may be wondering why the hell your lookouts didn't sound the alarm? See, we are polite. I mean, I don't know when they're gonna wake up from that kinda shot, but they should wake up. So let's just cut through the cow shit; you lose. It's over. So you're gonna line up in front of your little houses, and you're gonna work up some apologies, and then the person with the lamest one, is gonna get killed. Then I kill Rick in front of everybody, and we move on. You have three - count 'em, three minutes to open this gate, or we start bombing the shit out of you!"

Negan then whistles into the microphone, taunting them. 

All of the Saviors and you wait quietly. Negan turns towards the other Saviors, lowering the microphone he begins demanding orders for some of the other Saviors.

"Make sure to get your shit together, prepare for a fire fight. Keep your trucks on; to ram into the fucking fence if these cock suckers decide to fight back. I'm done with this shit." He shouts.

The other Saviors nod, preparing to fight they grab guns and load them. Two others starting their trucks.

Glancing towards Negan he turns to one of the Saviors.

"How long has it been?" Negan asks.

"Only a minute." He answers turning his wrist to look to his watch.

"Bastards want to play boss." One of the Saviors says with a large smile.

"They sure fucking do." He growls. "Keep your eye on that damn watch Larry, I hope you all have your guns ready. We're about to blow our whole load onto these assholes."

Trying to get the image out of your head, you make sure to feel the back of your pants where you always keep your gun. Feeling the bulge, relief eases your nerves. 

"Two minutes, people! Dig deep. I want these apologies to be memorable. Bonus points for creativity. Work up a poem, sing a song. I love that shit." 

You've always hated waiting, it made you feel like time had stood still just to taunt you. Make you feel hopeless, like you couldn't do anything else but wait in anticipation.

Glancing towards Negan wanting to grab his hand and let him know everything was going to be okay. As if he heard your thoughts he winks towards you before turning and eyeing Larry.

Larry glances to his watch. He bites the bottom of his lip in concentration. 

Lowering his arm to his side he meets Negan's eyes, noding towards him letting him know the three minutes were up.

Negan lifts the microphone up to his lips.

"Okie dokie. Brought this on yourself Rick. See I was willing to work with you, all you had to do was follow a few simple rules. Well now, now I see that you've got to go. Scorched earth, you dick."

Eyeing the wall you want to keep an eye open incase you see anyone. From the corner of your eye you notice a shadow appear from the top of the wall.

"He's not home." A kid says from the top edge of the wall.

"Whoa, holy shit." Negan says in surprise.

Everyone including you lifts their guns ready to shoot.

This was the first time you've been to Alexandria, it was made up to be something special. It didn't look like much from where you stood.

You don't know the kid. He stands above wearing an eye patch, police hat. A teenager? That's who they sent to answer Negan's call.

_Pathetic._

"Everybody hold your fire, it's Carl."

Glancing towards Negan, you notice his face covered on shock but concern that this kid Carl would be the one to answer the door. 

You wish you knew how to help. He was so stressed, it broke your heart. 

Carl keeps his eye focused on Negan, not seeing a gun in his hand you put your gun down. Everyone else follows in suit.

"Look at you answering the door like a big boy, I am so proud." Negan adds smiling up towards the boy. "Daddy's not home huh?"

So this must be Rick's son. You heard he came into The Sanctuary walls before you walked into Negan's life.

The kid may look innocent but really he was deadly.

Carl doesn't answer, you look to Negan then around to the others.

"Well I guess he's gonna come back to a big 'ol smokey surprise." Negan decides to add to the silence in the air.

"His family's in here. Kids, my little sister." Carl says keeping his eye on Negan.

"That shit just breaks my heart. There's kids at The Sanctuary, you must have seen them. Even had a little baby at one of the out posts. I wonder what happened to her." Negan pushes.

You heard about the baby that went missing, the other post was your normal area to give the goods. It was a shame knowing all those good men lost their lives. 

_We're they the ones that took the baby? Those people from Alexandria would kill her. Would they?_

Negan and Carl stare at each other while you decide to find a way inside the walls. You want to get inside before the fun starts.

Moving backwards you walk behind the large abandoned house, past the house and towards the wall. You look around for any signs on how to climb up until you find what looks to be two wooden sticks, one left in a hole of the wall.

Using your upper body strength you climb with the wooden sticks, you continue climbing as you hear Negan shouting.

"Son of a bitch, Carl! Was that just a play?! I thought we were havin' a moment, you little asshole! Bombs away!"

Fire fills Alexandria, lighting up the area as if it were day time. Throwing your leg up onto the edge of the wall you finally reach the top seeing some of The Saviors running inside.

You look down the wall and use the sticks to use on the way down. It would be a too far of a jump, you climb down until you reach the bottom. The heat of the fire enveloping around you.

Grabbing your gun from the back of your pants you walk around looking for anyone who aims a gun towards you.

Walling through the neighborhoods in Alexandria you realize the area was clear, everyone was gone. 

Some of the Saviors were torching up homes in Alexandria, the roar of the flames reaching your ears.

This was your first time in Alexandria, it was a very nice held up area. They have solar panels which was very smart on their part.

The sound of glass breaking from a couple houses away pulls you out of your thought, the grip on your gun tightens as you begin to walk over towards the house where the glass broke.

Reaching the house you lean in to peek inside making sure no one is inside, you hear something approaching from behind you.

Turning you're met with Negan grabbing you by the waist and pushing you through the empty house.

Just as the both of you make it inside the house one of the Saviours throws a Molotov cocktail through the broken window. Fire fills the front room where Negan and you stand.

"Fucking place is on fire." You shout above the roar of the front room.

Negan pushes you up against the wall, his eyes filled with lust and anger.

You notice his face, lip busted and cheek bloody. Who did he get caught up with? 

"You think I fucking care right now, I got played another fucking damn time. This time by that little asshole Carl." Negan growls clinging to you for some kind of release. 

"What happened to your face? Who did this to you?" You ask lifting your hand to gently touch his cheek.

He growls in response, looking into your eyes he sighs in anger.

"Fucking Rick. Got into a little rumble Doll, asshole ran away like the little bitch that he is." Blood fills his mouth, without hesitation he spits to the side.

"I'm sorry Negan, I hope we find out how to end these people once and for all." You answer seeing his anger start to fade. 

"Me too Doll. Me too." He says leaning in closer towards you, his lips an inch away from yours. "I got to add, I'm pretty damn good at this shit." He grins, licking his bottom lip he places his large hand along your waist.

"Why?" You ask with a smirk.

"Cause, I got you alone." He smiles as his hands move down to your pants. His fingers quickly unbutton them and pull down the offensive material down your legs.

His fingers play with the seam of your panties, grabbing the cloth he grasps onto it with his hand and rips them to shreds.

"The house is on fire Negan." You repeat wanting to make sure he knows this wasn't going to last long.

"Doesn't that turn you on?" He ask fiddling with his belt and pants. Lowering his pants past his ass he grabs your right leg and lifts it over his shoulder.

"You always turn me on." You answer grabbing ahold of his leather jacket for support.

Negan plays with your slit, checking to see how wet you were. To his surprise, you're still wet since the small meeting in his office.

"Fucking soaked Doll. Been thinking about me?" He asks continuing to play along your slit, finger pushing into your core to tease you.

"Of course, all that time away from you made me a mess. I've been touching myself just thinking about you." You answer honestly, you would find random places to give yourself some kind of release while you were away from The Sanctuary. Hiding in closets, the shower, one of the trucks.

It was hard trying to keep your thoughts off of Negan. 

"That's what I like to hear." He smiles before leaning in to kiss you.

His amazing lips moving hungrily against yours, claiming your mouth as his. His tongue sneaks in along side yours.

"Gonna fuck me against the wall?" You ask once pulling back and licking your lips.

Negan uses his free hand to tease you with the tip of his cock, gathering moisture to help him slide in easily.

"Come on Daddy, fuck me against the wall." You lean in to his ear and whisper.

"That what you want baby? You want this cock?" Rubbing his cock against your clit.

"Yeah, give it to me Negan. Give me that big thick cock." You moan feeling the head slip inside.

"Gonna fill that tight pussy." He grunts pushing inside your walls till he fills you to the brim.

Both of you breathe heavily as he stills inside of you trying to help you get used to his size and keep himself from blowing his load.

"God damn. I love your tight pussy, always squeezing the life out of me." He says into your neck while you run your fingers through his hair.

Biting your lip you decide to squeeze around him knowing he'll love it.

"Fuck, you play dirty. You're a dirty girl." He smiles before pulling out just the tip remaining inside and thrusting hard until he's balls deep.

"Awe, fuck." You moan in pleasure when he continues to fuck into you with a fierce passion.

"You like that baby?" He asks with a grunt as you slide up and down the wall.

"Yeah, I like the way you fuck me. Don't stop." You pant with need.

The heat in the house begins to cause the both of you to sweat more then the amazing sex is. 

"Fuck baby, it's getting hot in here. I think we need to wrap this up." He pounds into your wanting cunt, clinging tightly to your waist trying to push in deeper.

"I think you're right. Come on Daddy. Cum inside me." You smile licking his bottom lip before kissing him deeply.

He picks up the pace which causes you to pull away and throw your head back and moan feeling your orgasm creep onto you.

"Don't stop, don't stop. I'm cumming I'm cumming." You moan your eyes rolling back while he continues fucking you through your peek.

He slams once more moaning into your neck, his large hands holding your hips to keep you where he wants you.

"Fuck Doll, this may be the second time but all I know is that I don't want to stop." He admits his eyes closed, face filled with pleasure.

"Kinda have to Negan." You kiss his cheek before he helps you to the floor. Grabbing your pants you put then on and grab him by the arm. "The whole house is gonna burn down." You add pulling him out of the living room and out of the house to safety.


	8. Love Game

"Those goddamn sons of bitches. Fucking Carl Grimes and his goddamn dad. They fooled me yet again and I'm fucking sick of it." Negan shouts letting you know that he was still pissed.

Last night had been a bit rough, of course you had amazing sex in a burning home which was different but exhilarating. 

Negan and you watched Alexandria burn to the ground, heard the cries from the others. 

You could see it in his eyes, Negan was broken. He hated the people but somewhere deep down I think he really wanted to work with them. He wanted to be a team.

Negan sits on his couch in his room, eyes downcast to the carpet below. He was angry about having to end Alexandria in that way.

To make matters worse, someone gave them a heads up on what was happening. 

He never told you he knew about a snitch, but now that it was confirmed last night it was a very big deal.

You move to his side and place your hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, we'll get another chance to end them again." You gently say while rubbing his shoulder.

Negan turns towards you his face covered with anger.

"I want it done and fucking over with now. These mother fuckers have messed with me again and again, they've made me look like a fool and I'm not going to let that happen anymore." Negan stands throwing his gloves and swinging Lucille as if he were trying to hit a ball that was pitched.

"Good, what do you want to do to them?" You ask in wonder. 

He needs to think it through, run his thoughts out loud. Figure out what sounds good and would actually work.

"Kill every last one of them." He answers swinging Lucille again.

"Right, but how?"

Negan lifts an eyebrow towards you and stares.

"What do you mean how?" He asks, placing Lucille against his shoulder he takes a step towards you.

You shake your head and wait to see if he as any ideas.

"First off we need to fucking find them, figure out who the goddamn mole is in this fucking place." He squints his eyes towards you. "You." He points.

"Me what?" You ask looking to him in confusion.

_What could he be getting at?_

"You're the mole." He says tightening his grip on Lucille.

_You have never heard something so absurd, how could he think you were the mole? You were with him the whole time today?_

Shaking your head you begin to chuckle. He was so stressed he was blaming you now.

"The fuck is so fucking funny?" He asks taking one last step towards you. The anger in his being rising.

"You think I'm the mole?" You laugh again and shake your head. "Please tell me, when did I have time to help those Alexandria people leave while you were fucking me against the wall?" You ask stating the obvious. 

He had to know that you would never do something like that to him. You care for the handsome man, love the way he fucks you and how he treats you.

You would never betray him like that. Not in a million years.

Negan shakes his head and looks away realizing you were right.

"I just need to find out who double fucked me up the ass." He says with a grumble.

You blink trying to get the image out of your head. You stand and make your way towards him.

"Listen to me, we need to do a sneak attack once we do find them." You reply looking up to him.

"When? When will we find them?" He asks.

"I think we should send someone out there. Send our own mole out there. It would probably be the easiest way to find them." Grabbing his arm you lead him towards the couch.

Making him sit you take a seat across from him on the other couch. 

"I think you're right. Damn what have I done without you all this time?" He asks leaning in with amazement towards you. 

"Seems like a little bit of trouble." You smile before winking.

"You have anyone in mind?" He asks continuing to watch you.

You haven't thought about that, lots of the others have seen some of our Saviors so whoever you find to send out there has to be someone they've never seen.

Negan licks his bottom lip waiting to hear the answer you come up with.

"Well. We could send one of the younger teens. They haven't been seen by anyone because they've been working here." You answer hoping that it sounds like a good idea.

"Not many of them have been out there long enough like you have." He adds watching you fidget on the couch trying to get comfortable.

You lift an eyebrow towards Negan. "Are you asking me to be the mole?" You ask loving the idea.

_Imagine what you could do out there. People don't seem to care much for the women and really no one has seen you._ _Well besides Ezekiel and his guys. That would probably be an issue if you ever ran into him again._

_It's a brilliant plan, become the mole for_ _Negan_ _. Find the person who double crossed The Saviors and give them some bullshit idea to see what they tell Rick's people._

"No, fuck no." He answers leaning back on the couch and looking away.

"What would be the problem? Lots of them haven't seen me. I'm sneaky and could make my way around anywhere." You begin trying to explain how it would be perfect for you.

"Those fuckers would kill you once they find out what you're doing." He answers glancing towards you.

"They wouldn't find out Negan. People don't tend to notice me much." You shrug.

"I do." He adds making sure you know you weren't invisible like some people make you feel.

"That's beside the point." 

"It's not. I'm only going to say this once, you are not going out there. You're not going to be the mole, we will find someone else. Just not you." He declares putting his foot down to the idea.

"But."

"No fucking buts (Y/N), you're not going out there. If they find out who you are you're dead. I can't have that weighing on me." He adds looking away towards the window. "I can't lose you." He whispers so softly you almost miss it.

"Fine." You reply softly before getting up from the couch.

He's worried, you could read his face like a damn book. The thought of having something happening to you would crush him into pieces.

For being such a "bad guy" he's a giant softy.

He doesn't look away from the window, realizing he's fighting some inner demons inside his head. You know how to distract his worried mind. You begin to strip by the side of the couch throwing your shirt and pants off to the ground leaving you in your panties and bra.

Slowly walking towards him you straddle his lap which gets his attention away from the window.

"Doll, you don't have to do this just because I feel bad." He starts.

You shake your head as you place your hands on top of his guiding them to your body. Closing your eyes you feel the warmth of his large hands rubbing your right thigh and left hip.

"You're right, you're very strong and I know you can figure anything out." You smile before opening your eyes and looking down towards him. "I just though this could keep your mind off of this, for a little while." You lean in to nibble on his ear.

"Is that so?" He asks moving his hands along the length of your body.

You pull back to nod, placing both of your hands on his shoulders feeling him move his hands along both of your ass cheeks and squeezing roughly.

You lean down giving him small kisses on his neck, gently sucking, not trying to give him hickeys but maybe just a little mark.

"Doll, you do something to me that many don't." He says softly moving both his hands up and towards your bra.

"All good things, I hope." You say in between kisses.

"Of fucking course." He answers unclasping your bra. He moves it off your shoulders gently and rubs your sides. Leaning back you help him discard the bra from your body and behind the couch.

Negan grabs both breasts with his hands and massages them, keeping his eyes on you; you lick your lips and decide to move your hand down to his hardening bulge in his pants.

He groans at your will, his eyes closing enjoying your hand working him just as gently as his are working your breasts.

"Doll, if you want me to fuck you; you're gonna have to move your hand away." He murmurs into your ear.

"Who said anything about you fucking me. I said I was going to distract you. I'll be doing all the work." You bite your bottom lip.

"For now." He answers with a smile before moving a hand away from your breast and pulling yours away from his clothed cock.

"Let me help you take your leather jacket off." You softly move your hands under the shoulders of his jacket and moving it down his arms. He leans forwards helping you move it off his body and to the side of the couch.

"That's better." You smile placing your hands on his covered chest. Leaning in you start kissing from his ear trailing down to his neck.

Negan moves his hands to your waist, feeling your soft skin under his rough hands.

Pulling back you feel one of his hands pulling your hair out of the ponytail. Tossing the rubber band somewhere in the room you throw your head back; your hair flying behind your back.

Negan smiles leaning in to kiss down your neck to your breasts. His fingers softly move down your body to the front of your panties.

Slipping his hand from the top of your panties he finds your wanting clit with his middle finger.

You hum softly clutching onto his shoulder.

"You would think after already fucking you last night; you wouldn't be this horny." The amusement playing on his face brings butterflies to your stomach.

He knew how to make you need him, honestly you always needed him. The way his fingers work you, his large cock brings you to climax.

He's the modern-day Don Juan.

"What can I say?" You moan by his ear. "You keep me coming for more." You whisper kissing his ear and licking his earlobe.

His finger works against you making the pleasure begin to rise within your body. His fingers move lower towards your slit, his middle finger slipping inside causing you to gasp aloud. 

Negan smiles watching your every facial expressions loving the fact that he can pleasure you with just his amazing fingers.

"You like that Doll?"

You nod feeling his finger rub against something sensitive inside, opening your mouth you let out a loud moan of need.

He adds another finger continuing to rub that spot, he watches you as you lean back gasping with desire.

"Fuck yeah baby, I've got you right where you like it." He says adding another finger.

The sound of his fingers thrusting inside your aching cunt could make any porno enthusiasts bust a nut. 

You don't think you can hold it any longer, tightening your hand on his shirt you cry out feeling your orgasm crash over you like a tidal wave.

"Fucking cum on my fingers baby. Hell yeah!" He groans continuing to fuck you with his fingers through your high.

You pant loudly trying to catch your breath, Negan slips his fingers out slowly. Licking them clean from your juices.

"You taste like heaven Doll." He say letting his finger out of his lips with a smile.

Leaning in towards him you chuckle against his shoulder. 

"Have you noticed it's just been you and I." Negan begins. "Just us two, no one else."

"Are you beating around the bush about asking me for a three some?" You ask pulling back to stare at him.

Negan chuckles before kissing your neck.

"I mean it has to be with someone good, just not better looking then me." You add thinking about having a three some with your boss.

"That would be impossible." He smiles shaking his head. "I'm not referring to a three some."

"For now." You joke.

He shakes his head. "In all seriousness Doll. Just answer my question."

"Okay." You lift an eyebrow. "I've noticed that's it's been a little quieter." You answer referring to Sherry.

"That's good baby. Now that brings me to my next question. Would you do me the greatest pleasure and becoming my wife?" He asks.

Negan has enough wives already, if he added you to that list of wives would he forget you like he seems to have with them?

"Negan, please. Let me just enjoy our time as boss and employee. I enjoy how everything is now."

"I think things would be different." He adds.

"They would be different, I would be your wife and wouldn't be allowed to leave The Sanctuary. I wouldn't be able to go on any runs or have fun with my teams."

Not that you really have fun with your last team, but damn it you don't know if this next team that you would join would be any better.  
You wouldn't be able to work at all if you agreed in becoming his "wife".

"Exactly, why have you deal with that kind if stuff when you can have someone else do it for you."

"That's not what I want." You answer moving off his lap and grabbing your bra.

"Doll."

Putting on your clothes you start towards the door.

"Hey." He says reaching it before you. He leans against the door blocking your way out. "Think about it."

"I have. I don't want to be your wife. Can't we just enjoy our little love game we have going on."

"Game?"

"Isn't that what this has been for you?" You ask feeling a bit confused on where you both are in this fucking game.

"No, I've fallen deeply head over hills for you Doll. More then I can actually say for the other women." He explains.

You shake your head, you thought this was just for fun. To blow off steam when you both needed it. You weren't expecting for him to fall for you, never did you think Negan would love you.

"I." You close your eyes. "I don't know what to say." You add.

"Say yes." He reaches down towards you placing his hands on yours.

"No." You reply feeling your heart begin to race, the feelings were starting to play tricks on you. 

_What the fuck? You never cry._

Negan looks away towards the other side of the room. He moves away from the door not wanting to keep you trapped any longer then you had to be.

Your tears fall onto your cheeks, he walks out of the room and into his bathroom.

Without saying another word you walk out of the room a blubbering mess, what was gonna happen the next time you have to be around him?

Would he still love you?

Will he try again?

Would he even talk to you?

Not wanting to know the answer for now, you make your way to your room and lay on the bed to think.

How can you fix this mess? 

Maybe this love game wasn't really a game, maybe he really did fall in love with you and thought you felt the same way too.

This wasn't a game.

It never was.


	9. Not Until You

The regret in your heart was eating at your mind, Negan wore his heart on his sleeve when asking you to be his wife. He admitted that he fell in love with you and you told him you thought what you've been doing was playing some sort of game.

It wasn't just sex to him anymore, he felt something more and like you were before the dead took over you were afraid.

Fear filled you thinking Negan will start treating you like shit makes your stomach flip in horror. Negan is used to having what he wants, he wouldn't take losing you very kindly.

Moving off your bed since you've been laying down for a few hours. You haven't slept in a few days which never helps a person make decisions. Grabbing your backpack you quickly begin to pack your clothes as if someone was coming into your room to check on what you were doing.

Negan doesn't deserve to have you around as the woman who go away. It doesn't sit well with you.

Packing your bag you think about the mole who was still screwing The Saviors over. Now that you're not being held back by Negan you decide to make yourself that mole Negan needs.

Finished packing your bags with clothes and a few snacks, you start out your bedroom door. Walking along the hallway you feel the urge to let Negan know what you've decided.

Walking to Negan's office, preparing to knock on the door but fear stops you in your tracks. The man was going to hate even the look of you. 

Deciding to forget the idea you start to walk off until you hear your name being called from behind you.

Turning around you're met with Negan. 

He looks as if he hasn't slept.

"What the fuck? Why are you wearing your backpack?" He asks trying to figure out what was going on.

"Negan, I made a decision."

"Without me?" He asks moving towards you.

"I made the decision because it would make me feel better." You answer honestly.

'Let's have this conversation in my office, in case there is anyone else listening." He grabs you by your hand and lures you into the office. He looks around the area making sure no one was around.

Realizing no one else was near by he closes the door behind himself. He turns towards you, eyeing you from head to toe.

"Alright, now that we're alone; please enlighten me on what you've decided on your own." You could hear the slight irritation in his tone.

Leaning against the table, your eyes cast down towards Negan's shoes. How were you going to tell him?

Would he be angry like he was last night?

It was a bad idea to come by and let him know you're leaving. Now that he has you alone it becomes too real.

"(Y/N) come on, I know you're not afraid of me now. You've stood up to me before, go ahead and share your idea." He starts, his eyes watch you. Eyebrows slightly furrowed together in confusion on your hesitation.

He was right of course, you've stood up to him. You knew how to stand your ground. It was different this time, he was hurt. You inflicted the pain and you knew it.

"I've decided to leave." You start. Pausing you keep your eyes on any reaction.

"Because of last night?" He asks.

"I mean it has a part of it. I know it will be easier for-"

"You?" He interrupts. He smiles using his thumb to play with Lucille's wooden handle.

"No, not me. You." 

"Doll, I'm a grown man. I've dealt with heartache before."

_Heartache. Damn it._

Of course, you were right his feelings for you were real. He loved you and you were afraid to feel the same.

"Negan." You pause feeling your chin begin to quiver. "It's not that I don't care for you."

"You're afraid." He answers. "I understand. I can read it on your face. What happened? Some guy break your heart in high school and now you're afraid to let someone back in?"

"Don't stand there and think I'm the only one who could be afraid of letting someone in. Here you are with six wives and wanting to add another one because you have commitment issues or it's because one woman still hasn't added up to the first one you've lost." Word Vomit, that's what came out of you. It spewed from your mouth and into Negan's direction. 

He made you feel like a scared little girl, made you feel as if you couldn't feel, like you're not strong enough to feel what you've been through.

"Until you." He answers.

Your angry thoughts dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean.

"Me?"

"You." He smiles walking around the table, lifting Lucille he places her on the table then meets your eyes in a stare you couldn't understand. "You asked me why I named my baseball bat Lucille the day I brought you in. She's named after my wife. My first wife." He pauses looking away from you. His stare remains on Lucille. 

"Negan." You whisper.

"I was a real fucking dickhead, I would cheat on her and leave her in the dirt while I had a good time with other women. I never thought about how she treated me, she fucking loved me and I fucking fucked other women. She always watched my back, talked to me about being a better man. She loved me so much she never left me, but that never stopped me from being with other women. One day my wife spoke to me about having to be a better role model for the kids in the neighborhood. She collapsed on the ground, shit hit the fan real fucking fast when we found out that she had cancer. Even after her diagnosis I was with my girlfriend, I realized that I was hurt by my wife's diagnosis and didn't feel right. Bitch ended it with me and I headed back to my wife. Long story short Doll, Lucille was the reason I'm the man I am today. I know I fucked up and I know I'm a shitty man. I was a pathetic excuse for a husband. The way I do things is in honor of her, she wanted me to be better, stronger and a good role model. I think I've done well since she passed." He finishes his eyes meeting yours.

"I'm not her." You reply softly.

"I know you're not Doll." He meets your eye, tears fill his lower lash line. "You have that spunk I like, some balls which make you fearless."

"Negan, I do care for you really. I've been a mess of emotions all my life until this started happening. I've gotten my heart broke enough times that I am afraid to have someone else get to close. I wanted to say yes Negan, I wanted to say yes the first time but how do I know I'm not the last?"

Negan watches you, leaving Lucille on the table. Moving in front of you, he places his gloved hand against your cheek.

"You'd have to trust me."

Trust, something you can't just give out anymore. He's never lied to you, he's never lied to you and he's never hurt you. 

_What was it that was making you keep from trusting him?_

"Don't worry Doll, I'm not asking you to make a decision right now. Just think about it. Maybe you'll make up your mind while you're gone." He finishes leaning in and kissing your lips so gently that it doesn't feel like him.

"So, is that a yes?" You ask hoping he'll let you become the mole. 

"As long as you're safe."

You make an X over your heart, showing him that you promise that you'll be safe.

Leaning in you kiss him, he trusts you enough to let you leave to find where Rick and the other ran off to. 

His lips cling to yours silently begging for you to stay with him. He feels so good against your lips.

The kiss lingers, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck you press your bodies together to deepen the kiss.

He lifts you onto the table, spreading your legs he steps in closing the gap between the both of you.

Something about him being so close, kissing you so softly makes it so intimate. His gentle hands caressing your hips. 

In this moment you could feel your love for him. 

Love.

The word sounds so foreign in your mind. You've never spoke the word out loud to any of the guys you've be with before, never felt this feeling you're having now.

Negan pulls back to look into your flushing face. 

"Doll, I'll wait for you." He whispers.

"I know you will."

"Then don't leave." He tries to change your mind.

"Someone needs to do this for you Negan. I want to find that mole, I want to take them down. For you."

"What if you get hurt?" He asks.

"What if you get hurt because that person brings Rick's people in? What if they do the same thing here like they did at the other post? That kind of weight would weigh on me because I could have stopped it."

"Fuck." He closes his eyes hating the idea of having you out of his protection. Not being able to keep you safe, keep his eye on you. "If I say yes to having you leave then you have to promise to come back to me in one goddamn piece."

"I'll do my best." You answer honestly.

He nods keeping his eyes focused on your lips.

It feels as if you weren't coming back, the thought of Rick's people finding out who you are brings fear to your future with Negan. What if you didn't come back?

"Negan." You whispers before capturing his lips with yours. The need for him was uncontrollable, he was the reason you were leaving. To protect him, to end the trader who's playing both teams.

He groans in your mouth, clutching onto his leather jacket for support. He pulls back to look into your eyes. Tearing the backpack off of you he tosses it to the side, grabbing you he claims your lips to his.

He wants you as much as you do. Moving your hands to the front of his pants you begin to work open his belt and button.

Negan does the same with you, pulling back to tear your clothes from your body. Kicking your shoes off they land somewhere in the room. He rips your pants off along with your panties in one single move.

You slip your hand into his pants grasping onto his rock solid cock. He grunts at your touch, needing you.

He pulls down his pants past his ass and down his thighs. Fisting him in your smaller hand you pump him to the tip and use the precum to lube his length.

"Fuck." He breaths.

"I need you." The emotion in your voice surprises you. Negan nods matching your exact need. 

Laying back onto the table, he moves his gloved hand to your pussy.

"I want to feel your skin against mine." You admit.

He pulls his hand back. Biting the tip of the middle finger of his glove, he pulls it free of his hand. Grabbing it with the other gloved hand he tosses it to the side. He repeats the same action with the other hand.

The warmth of his hand moves back to your center, his other hand grasps onto your hip rubbing gently against your skin.

"This better?" He asks rubbing your needy clit with his hand.

"Yes." You moan with need. His fingers rub gentle circles over your clit bringing you closer to pleasure. "I need you Negan. I want you one last time before I leave." You beg sweetly.

"I need you too." With that he pulls his fingers back, grasping himself he rubs his length against the juices from your needy cunt.

Easing the tip to your opening he watches as your opening widens to his intrusion. Pushing in he admires how you accommodate to his size.

You gasp grabbing his left hand that's clutching onto your hip. He pushes further until he's balls deep inside of you.

A small moan escapes your lips, you've been with Negan twice before but it has never felt like this. This was different from the last two times. This was need, this was desire. This was love.

"Fuck baby, you feel like heaven." He says not moving an inch to let you adjust to his size.

The need for him explodes inside you, your nails dig along his wrist. "Please."

"Okay baby. Okay." He kisses you. "Shh, let me take care of you." 

With that Negan pulls out slowly leaving just the tip remaining inside. He keeps his eyes directed to your combined bodies. His cock slide easily back inside your tight walls.

"Mmm." He moans pulling out again and sliding back inside.

He clutches onto your hips as he continues his slow and gentle thrusts.

"You feel how hard my dick is for you. It's all for you. I'm yours." He picks up the pace of his thrusting. The sound of your wet pussy and his thick cock meeting as one brings a moan from your throat.

"You're so perfect for me. Look how you take me in. Look." He bites his bottom lip. Sitting up you eye your combined bodies to see exactly what he's admiring.

"Just like that." He smiles. "My cock was made just for you." He moves his right hand from your hip and grabs the back of your head to claim his lips with yours.

The pleasure in you body grows deeper as he pounds into your body. Sweat begins cover both if your foreheads.

Negan lifts you off the table, your legs tighten around his hips as he clutches you to his body and continues to fuck you while standing in the middle of the office.

At this angle you were practically sitting on his dick, riding him like a pornstars.

The combination of heavy breathing, skin on skin and his deep moans bring you closer to climax.

"Fuck Doll, you like riding my dick?" He asks letting you use your arms to push yourself up from his strong shoulders.

"Fuck yes." You moan.

"Damn baby. Let me just-" He moves your leg over his shoulder the new angle shooting stars over your vision. Taking over the pace, he pounds into your cunt. 

The pleasure washes over you, moaning loudly you scream when your climax rips through you.

"Fuck yes, take this dick." He doesn't stop thrusting, he moves back to the table continuing to hold you in his arms as he fucks you through your high. "Squeezing my dick. Fuck, damn baby I'm going to cum with that vice grip."

"Please cum inside me, I want to feel you dripping from my pussy when I leave these walls." You beg.

"Fuck Doll, tell me what else you'll do." He says liking the dirty talk.

"When your cum drips from my cunt I'm going to scoop it up with my fingers and swallow the rest of you down so I don't waste any of it."

"Fuck." He slams into you one last time. Pushing balls deep he cums. He pants against your neck, kissing tenderly along your neck and down to your clavicle.

Clinging to him you try to memorize the way this feels, his strong arms holding you against him while his semisoft cock remains inside of you. Tightening your hold on him you fight with yourself not to let this go.

"Doll." He whispers pulling back to look into your worried eyes.

"I'm scared." You admit hating the words. You haven't felt fear like this since the start of all this mess, you haven't had anybody that you love left alive to feel fear.

Negan doesn't say a word, he let's you down gently so the both of you could get dressed.

Once you're both dressed he helps you put your backpack on. Eyeing him he winks towards you, pulling you to him again he kisses your forehead.

"I'm scared too." He admits. In that moment you believe his words, he's felt the same since he's been alone since his first wife passed. No one was stopping him or keeping him from doing the dangerous work he constructs everyday.

Not until you.


	10. Into The Woods

Negan and you remained in his office, talking about the plans on how working as his mole would work.

"Listen Doll, we need to talk about the plan if something happens." He says grabbing you by the hand and leading you to sit on his lap.

"Maybe we can use walkie talkies. Just for you and I." You suggest, gently playing with his beard.

"That would work, that also won't help if they find it." He adds playing with the hem of your shirt.

"That's the risk I'm going to have to make. I'll keep it at the bottom of my bag. I'll keep it off until the end of every day. I'll give you info and when we find the asshole who's working for both sides I'll call you immediately." 

"Alright, that could work." He nods.

Glancing towards the window the sun shines brightly. It had to be around the afternoon at this point which would give you enough time to make it to some sort of safe house.

"Negan, I'm going to have to leave soon if I want to a safe house before night falls." You kiss his hand gently. You begin to get up from his lap only to be pulled right back into his lap and within his arms.

"I'm gonna miss your cute fucking face." He says into your ear.

You giggle from the tickle of his voice against your ear. "I'm going to miss you too." You admit.

He loosens his hold on you, letting you stand. He stands up, turning you around he kisses your lips.

Pulling back you rest your head against his. "I'm gonna need that walkie talkie." You whisper.

"Then let's go grab it." He says grabbing your hand and leading you out the room. 

The both of you walk down hand in hand through the hallway. As you're reaching the supply closet the sound of voices reach your ears. Negan must have heard them too because he drops your hand from his and continues until he reaches the closet. 

Both of the men pass by, one eyes you slowly as they pass. Ignoring his stare, you focus on Negan unlocking the door and opening it wide.

"Alright, let's see what we have." Negan says softly.

Your mind rolls back the thought of him dropping your hand when he heard his men's voices. 

Of course, you understand why he did it. They would have made a big deal out of Negan and one of his female Saviors in a relationship.

_Relationship? Is that what this is?_

No, if this was a relationship Negan would expect you to be his wife and you've already declined that offer.

"Alright, looks like we have a few left." Negan grabs two walkie talkies from the closet. Taking a handful of batteries out he hands them to you.

"These things take batteries or wall charger. It's a pain in the ass and starting to be a harder thing to find." He eyes you pointing to the batteries. "Only use what you need. I'll keep mine on the charger and have it on durning sun fall." Negan says reassuring that he won't leave you alone while you're gone.

"Okay, perfect." You take the batteries, sticking them in your backpack pocket and slipping the radio into the bottom of your backpack.

"We'll use channel sixteen. No one uses it and no one will know that it's our channel." He points to the small selector knob.

"I'll make sure to change it when I get there." 

"I'll be waiting for your call tonight, I want to make sure you're safe." He reaches over and places his gloved hand against your face.

"I will." You promise biting your bottom lip feeling the nervous feeling return in having to leave him. "I better head out. Don't want to be out in the middle of the night."

"Well if you are; don't even think about not calling me on that thing, I'll make sure to find you and bring you back." He says kissing your forehead.

You nod gently knowing he was serious. He was very protective over you and even the thought of you being out in the woods in the dark didn't sit well with him.

Negan leans in kissing your lips one last time before you head out. "I'm gonna miss these amazing lips." He smiles leaning his forehead against yours.

"So am I." You reply kissing him one last time before pulling back. "I better go."

"Call me."

"Yes sir." You wink knowing he didn't want you calling him that anymore. Walking off you leave the building and start towards the gates.

You turn around to have one more look to the place you call home. Negan stands in the doorway keeping his eyes on you. 

With a smile you blow him a kiss just to watch him chuckle. Turning back around you exit the gates and head into the woods.

* * *

Your machete is clutched in your hand ready for any of the dead that will eventually come after you. 

Its been months since you've been out on your own, walking now seems too long then just using one of the trucks.

Negan was right, like always. He treated you like a queen, making sure you wouldn't have to fend for yourself. It was nice being able to just grab what you want because it was right inside the Sanctuary's walls, now you'll just have to get used to fighting and scavenging like you once did.

As you're walking the sounds of the woods keep you on edge. Rabbits scurrying from bush to bush, birds chirping of different sounds and the squirrels scurrying up trees. 

"Nature, I've kinda missed you." You whisper to the universe.

An hour or two pass by agonizingly slow, your feet cramp needing to stop for a break and a wave of exhaustion crashes over you.

You knew you should have slept a little while laying in your bed back in The Sanctuary.

Your bed. You know for sure how much you're going to miss that bed. God knows what you'll be sleeping on while you're staying in The Hilltop. If you ever make it.

Continuing in through the woods you find yourself stumbling over your own legs. Your feet demand rest, protesting to stop with every step you take. 

_How long have you been walking? In fact, where were you?_

Finding a large rock you take a seat and take off your backpack to rest your back.

Pulling the walkie talkie out you place the new batteries inside and switch the channel to sixteen. The urge to switch it on and talk with Negan eats at your mind. Of course instead of doing that you decide to tuck it back into your backpack.

A sound from behind you makes you grab your machete and turn. You knew the dead would be around soon, but when you're met with a woman you almost fall off the rock.

_What the fuck!?_

"What are you doing out here?" A woman says to you with a gun pointed towards your head. The woman couldn't be older then thirty, her dark hair draping over her shoulders. A scar in the middle of her left cheek decorates her perfect skin.

"Whoa, calm down. I'm just resting my feet. I've been walking for a while." You explain to the woman.

"Lower your weapon." She demands.

"Lower yours." 

She squints towards you as if she was trying to read your soul. 

"You still haven't answered my question. Why are you out here?"

Opening your mouth you're about to answer when another pair of footsteps approach. A young woman, probably fifteen years of age reaches the other side of you.

"I was looking for you- oh, who's this?" The young girl says raising her gun.

"Don't even try, she won't answer my question."

Rolling your eyes you look to the young girl. "My name is (Y/N)." You answer. Turning towards the older girl you raise an eyebrow. "I already answered your question."

"No, I mean why are you out here?" She asks.

"I." Stopping you didn't know the answer. You couldn't tell them the truth for a couple reasons. One, you had no idea if they knew anything about Negan and The Saviors. Two, if you did tell them and they do know they would kill you without hesitating. At least the one with the scar would.

In this moment you decide to lie, lie your ass off because you're life depended on it.

"I don't have anywhere else to go." You cast your eyes down.

_Who were you going to be? A scared woman living in the new world or where you going to play the warrior princess?_

The woman with the scar lowers her gun finally. Turning her attention to the younger girl she silently tells her to keep her gun pointed towards you.

The young girl keeps her gun raised towards you as the woman starts towards you. "What other weapons do you have?" She asks.

"Hammer, I also have a gun hidden in my pants."

"Are you any good with your weapons?" She asks lifting the side of your shirt to see the gun behind your pants.

"Kept me alive this long." You answer honestly.

_Warrior princess it is._

"Have you used your gun?" She asks.

"Not yet. I guess I'm saving it for emergencies." You shrug.

"Have you ever used a gun?"

"Yes." 

"Have you asked her the questions yet?" The young girl asks the woman.

_More questions, the lady has asked nothing but questions. What else could she want to know?_

At this point maybe you should be the one to ask questions.

"No, I don't know if I could trust her."

_You've don't nothing but comply to her, answered her questions and yet she still doesn't trust you?_

"Trust me? I'm not the one pointing a gun towards you." You comment to the woman and eye the teen girl.

"How many walkers have you killed?" The young girl asks lowering her gun.

_Walkers? That was definitely a different name then what you call them. She wants to know how many you've killed since the start? How were you supposed to know? There's been so many._

"I've lost count, there's been too many." You answer honestly.

"How many people have you killed?" The woman asks.

_People? How many people?_

"I haven't killed a person."

"Bullshit." The woman growls towards you.

"How is it bullshit?" You ask. "You don't know me, you don't know anything about me. I haven't killed one person since this started and I really don't plan on it." You answer louder then you would have liked to. 

"Some people don't have to kill anyone." The young girl says turning towards the older woman.

"Well what you and I have felt with, it's not the case." She reply towards the young girl before turning towards you.

The young girl turns towards you, eyeing you for one more thing.

"Why?" The young girl asks.

"Why haven't I killed a person?" You shake your head not believing the questions they're asking. 

"Yes, why?" The older woman asks grumbling that you haven't answered the question yet.

"People are supposed to help, people are allies. They're human beings." You answer.

If Negan could hear you know he wouldn't know who you are. Just the night before you were trying to help him kill Rick and his people. Of course it was to protect Negan and the others.

Maybe you're believing your own lies now.

The young girl smiles towards you, taking a few steps towards you she reaches out for your hand.

She must have liked your answer.

"I'm Enid."

"Enid, that's a pretty name. It's nice to meet you." Enid shakes your hand. Turning towards the other woman she lifts her eyebrows.

The woman rolls her eyes, meeting your stare she crosses her arms over her chest.

"I'm Rosita."

_Bitch._

"Rosita, I'll try to remember your names. I'm awful at names." You smiles hating that names slip your mind so quick.

"Well I suggest you get yourself a pen and paper because you're going to have a tough time remembering everyone's name." Rosita comments.

"What do you mean?" Did you meet the right people? Was this your window to find Rick and the mole?

"Oh please, you really think two girls can make it on our own in the open woods."

"I did." You answers quickly knowing Rosita wasn't going to like it.

"Stop being rude." Enid chimes in towards Rosita. "What she means is we're going to be heading back to our new safe zone."

_New safe zone? Could these girls be a part of Alexandria?_

"The Hilltop, it's still new to all of us." Enid adds.

If you could do a backflips you'd do one now. You found the right people, pure luck. Negan would be so proud of you for finding someone so quick.

"The Hilltop, what's it like?" You knew about The Hilltop enough. Negan gets goods from them as well but of course you've never been there. It would be your first time stepping foot inside their walls.

"Like a load of bullshit, Alexandria had everything we needed." Rosita blurts. 

"Alexandria was out old save zone. Our home." Enid explains Rosita's outburst.

"I see. What happened? Why aren't you still there?" You ask. 

You can't wait to hear what they say about Alexandria. You were there in the midst of it, you knew exactly what happened there. 

Of course you didn't get to see the Saviors tearing it down while Negan was railing you inside a burning home.

"Fucking Negan, that's what happened." Rosita grumbles.

"Should I know-"

"Well since you're one of us now it's unavoidable. I mean you're going to be working for him." Rosita interrupts you.

_Too late bitch, I already do._

"Negan is a bad man, plain and simple. He killed too many of our people and forced us to work for him." Enid begins to explain.

"He killed my ex-boyfriend. Smashed his baseball bat through his skull. He also cut open the stomach of the man I wanted to start dating. He killed Glenn." Rosita's anger starts to rise thinking of the people they've lost.

You weren't there during that time frame, at least you think you weren't. Didn't mean it doesn't matter to you.

Those were people that could still be here surviving this shit. Negan doesn't kill unless he has to. There was a reason.

"Long story short. Do what Negan says." Enid adds quietly.

"Okay." You nod gently keeping your eyes trailed down to the ground.

"Lets head to The Hilltop before night falls." Rosita says turning back through the woods and walking without any of you.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." Enid says giving you a small smile.

Standing from the rock Enid and you follow behind Rosita through the woods.


	11. The Hilltop

The journey to The Hilltop took longer then you expected, the sun was starting to set when you caught sight of the gates. You were finally going to be able to rest your tired feet.

Rosita, Enid and you reach the gates, exhaustion was the only feeling you have screaming within your body. Pleading for you to take a seat anywhere.

In all honesty you haven't walked this long in months. You forgot what it was like having to work hard to get places.

Your body screams at you needing to rest your feet, your legs feeling like noodles and body wanting to rest.

You haven't had a wink of sleep yet. Too busy crying over Negan and how you made him feel. Everything worked itself out, you worried too much and now you're suffering the consequence.

A woman and man stand on the top of the gates as their watch, the guards at the top of the gates raise their guns when they see the three of you walking up. Rosita raises her hand to show the guards that she wasn't armed or one of the dead.

They lower their weapons when they recognize who's coming in. The man whistles letting them know they could open the gates down below.

The gates open, only wide enough for the three of you to walk through. Just as you walk through you're stopped by another guard, making sure you don't pass any further. 

_Bullshit, you were so close to resting._

Turning to eye Enid and Rosita you question what was happening. Noticing a woman with short hair approaching with a smile. When she catches sight of you her smile disappears.

"Who's she?" She asks with a southern drawl. Keeping her eyes on the two girls who brought you here.

"This is (Y/N). We found her in the woods." Enid answers glancing towards you. 

"Do you even know anything about her?" The woman with the short hair asks.

"I asked her the three questions Rick normally asks. She doesn't seem like a problem." She adds before looking to the short haired woman.

"Either did Terminus." The woman comments to herself before turning towards you.

"She's nice. It's not like she's going to try and hurt us." Enid answers.

"You don't know that and now she knows where we live." 

"I'm... I'm not going to hurt anyone. Really, I'm just wanting to find a place to stay so I could sleep with both my eyes closed for once." You start hoping you can sell your story.

You're not here to hurt anyone, that was the truth. You honestly could care less about these people. Negan hates them more then you do, you hate that they know how to get under Negan's skin. You were only here to find the mole and get the hell back to Negan.

"Don't take it personal, we don't trust anyone." Rosita says smiling towards you before heading off to the other side.

"I thought she could be nice, help us with anything. She's good with a gun."

"Still not a way to trust people." The short haired woman says.

"She seemed nice." Enid explains once again.

The woman with the short hair sighs before turning towards the nice house in the middle of the grass.

It looks as if it were some kind of Museum house. Like Lincoln's birth home or Elvis' house. 

"Enid just go and follow Rosita." The woman says to Enid.

Enid keeps her head down as if she's been punished, her long hair casts over her face like curtains. She walks away without saying another word.

"I'm Maggie Rhee and since we don't know much about you I think we better have a meeting with Rick and the others." She says towards you. Maggie Glances behind you calling one of the large guards to walk along with you and keep everyone else safe.

From you.

Maggie leads the both of you towards the large house, entering inside you try to keep your shock within.

It had to be a museum. The elegant walls, furniture and beautiful paintings expressing the home takes your breath away.

You're stopped to put all your weapons on a table before walking any further. A precaution as the man by the table explains.

Heading towards double doors Maggie stops before going in, she turns towards the guard and nods quickly.

He understand and grabs you by your shoulder.

"What the hell?" You ask the tall man.

"Just wait until they call you." The woman says before opening the door and walking inside.

Even Negan wasn't like this, if someone was coming to see him he would be out on that deck in the front to greet the person. He wouldn't be hiding.

Was Rick hiding?

The door opens once again, Maggie poking her head out. "Come on in (Y/N)." She says seriously, widening the door so you could walk through.

Entering the room you're surprised you're not the only two in the room. There stands a man with longer hair holding a crossbow, an older woman with grey hair wearing a light blue sweater, a very beautiful African American woman who literally takes your breath away and a man sitting behind the desk.

His eyes are puffy, nose red and face covered in shock. 

Was this Rick Grimes? The badass Rick Grimes you've heard so much about? This man doesn't seem tough like Negan described. He doesn't even seem to know that you've walked into the room.

This man was broken.

Was it from Alexandria? Was he taking losing his temporary home that hard?

"Hello (Y/N), welcome to The Hilltop. I'm Michonne." The beautiful warrior says moving towards the desk. She rests her hand on Rick's shoulder pulling him out of thought.

"Thank you." You can't find your words. They seem to be lost from your nerves getting the best of you. 

You've heard about these people for so long they've kinda become celebrities to you. Rick Grimes and his people. You've heard about the warrior with the sword, she was much more beautiful then you thought.

"Maggie tells us you were found by Rosita and Enid in the woods today." She begins. "That you need a place to stay." She adds.

"That's correct. They were both kind enough to help me find shelter." You answer. Your feet protest needing to take a seat, the empty seat in front of Rick calls your name silently.

"I hear you're good with a gun."

"I haven't used it." You answer honestly.

"How the hell have you been survive then?" The man holding a crossbow asks. His southern drawl thicker than Maggie's.

"I have a machete and hammer. I've used this more then anything. The gun is more like a backup." 

"Where you come from?" He asks another question.

"I lived in a shack. I ran out of food and water. I needed to find something to eat before I starve." You answer honestly. Yes, it was a couple months ago but it was true.

"Can you fight?" The redneck man asks again.

"I prefer not to. I haven't fought in years."

"He mean can you use the weapons to fight against anyone."

"What is up with these questions. You're all expecting me to get into fights with people, kill people. Aren't humans supposed to be there for help? Support?"

"Hasn't been like that in a long time. All we do anymore is fight with the living then the dead. We try to survive so we can have a future, we fight anyone who is trying to stop that future from happening." Rick finally says. His voice pulls your attention from the others in the room. His voice sounds hurt, like he's been crying. 

"Exactly a future, we're all the future."

"But people don't seem to think like that. People want to think about today and not tomorrow." He adds keeping his swollen eyes on you.

"What would you do for the people you love?" Michonne asks.

Glancing towards her you try to figure out where she's going with this question.

"I don't have anyone I love. They died when all this started." You answer honestly.

The thought of Negan smiling towards you pops into you head. 

Your mind screams at you trying to fill your statement with regret, guilty.

You don't know your feelings for him, you care for him and hate to see him stressed. Mostly because of this group. Love is a hard feeling to express, you've felt it years ago but since you've been hurt so many times you doubted the feeling.

Yes what you felt for Negan before you left was an amazing. He made you feel like you were the only woman in the world. It felt like love while the both of you were sharing your moment but who's to really tell?

"Then what about friends?"

"They found me alone in these woods. Friends haven't been a part of my life for a long time."

That was the truth, all the saviors could kiss your ass for all you cared. They never liked you to begin with and you sure as hell didn't like them.

"What I'm trying to get at is if we decide to let you into this group you're a part of the family." Michonne explains. "Which means if something were to happen, what would you do for us? To keep us safe?"

"From the dead?" You ask knowing damn well they mean from Negan. You want to bring him up, you want to hear their interpretation on him. Except you don't bring him up, if you did they would slither through your words. Try to figure out how you know about Negan.

It would make them trust you less than they already do.

"No, like another group. What if they were threatening us?" Maggie who was standing behind you takes a few steps up from behind you to stand by your side.

_Whatever you do don't say his name._ You plead with yourself wanting them to bring him up.

"I would try to level with them." You answer.

"What if these people don't listen? Huh? What if they just fire before you even open your mouth to level with them." The redneck asks.

"What if they don't?" _The Saviors don't fire their weapons unless provoked._

"Who's to tell?" He asks stepping closer towards you not liking your answer.

"When I was with groups before we never had problems with anyone else. People have always been our allies. We're all afraid, we're all hungry and were all trying to get through this alive but we're all in this together. People help people."

"Not anymore, little girl." He growls stepping towards you. The older woman grabs him by his shoulder, pulling him back to stop him from doing something he'd regret later.

You don't move an inch, you're not afraid of men like him. You've delt with men worse then this guy. He was trying to intimidate you but you don't flinch.

"Stop." The older woman says quietly to the redneck man. "Calm down."

"She don't get it. She doesn't know what it's like losing people."

"I don't understand what it's like losing people? I've watched my parents die right in front of me when all this shit started happening. My brother and I found a group to stay with, so we could stay safe. A heard of the dead came into the camp killing many people in the group. We got through it, while we all were trying to stay strong after the loss of most of our group, more of them showed after one of our members were out fishing. He lead them to the group by accident but we lost the rest of the group. I lost my brother. I went out for a few weeks until I found another group. One by one people in my group died. I still have nightmares about all of it. What I could have done differently, if it would have been me and not my brother. So you're going to tell me that I don't know what it's like to lose people. You have no idea the shit I've gone through." You answer tears streaming down your face thinking of all the people you've lost.

You wish you were back with Negan, in his arms. He would help you with your rushing mind. He would say something vulgar which would make you laugh and get your mind off of the pain.

"(Y/N), please if you don't mind we're going to talk amongst each other. Would you mind standing out in the hall?" Michonne softly begins looking towards you.

Wiping your face of the tears you take a deep breath. Nodding you head out of the room to stand by the guard.

You haven't cried like that in months, yes you cried about Negan and telling him no. This was different, this was personal. The redneck made you feel less human then you know you are. You feel for everyone, you try to think of the good left in the world.

They look at The Saviors as monsters, you're not a monster. You don't feel like one but how they speak of them without having to even say their name makes you feel sick.

Were you involved with the bad guys?

Standing by the guard you keep your head down, he doesn't say a word to you which you were happy about. 

You didn't feel like talking with anyone at the moment, your mind races as you try to think about your life decisions.

Where you stand you're not the bad guys, you've been with them for so long. You've never seen anything that wasn't right happen. What you've seen has been teamwork, they help find you all stuff and we take half. 

It was fair.

The sound of the voices from the office room reach your ears. Ceasing your thoughts you decide to listen closely.

"We don't know anything about her." Rick's voice comes through.

"Yeah, I also don't trust her. That whole crying act isn't going to help her none." The redneck chimes in.

"What should we do then?" Maggie asks.

"We can't kick her out, she knows where we live now. If she has any friends out there she's going to tell them where we are." The redneck answers.

"How about we keep her here. Keep an eye on her and see what she does. We'll have someone get close to her, make her feel welcome. We need to know what she really wants." Michonne begins.

"I'll do it."

"Hell na Carol, I'm not letting you." The redneck slightly raises his voice.

"Shh, Daryl it's fine. She'll just think of me like a mother figure. I'm good at this stuff. I'll figure out what she wants and why she's really here." The older woman's voice answers.

_These fucking people._

You bite your tongue not believing what they're saying and how they run things. If that's how they're planning in treating you they have another thing coming to them. 

_That was a goddamn promise._

"So it's settled. If she's not here for anything else then maybe she can help us with Negan." Rick says.

There it is, he waited for you to leave the room but he finally said his name. Maybe he didn't want you hearing his name in case you do work for him 

_He was spot on._

"Carol we'll have you tell us everything at the end of every night. Come to us and let us know what you've learned about her." Michonne pipes up.

"Will do. I'll start tonight. She'll need to find a bed for the night."

"We'll gave her stay in the spare room. She'll be next to my room." Maggie says quickly.

"Good. Let's regroup tomorrow." Rick says.


	12. First Night Away

Those bastards, they wanted you to trust them but really they have no intention on trusting you. If you played your games correctly they wouldn't know that you're working with Negan and in search for the asshole working for both.

They don't know that you've heard the conversation. Luck was on your side. You're going to act your ass off and have them eating out of the palm of your hands when you're done with them.

Glancing towards the guard you eye him from top to bottom. He was definitely a tall man.

"So how long have you been here?" You ask finally wanting to have a conversation.

He turns towards you in horror of having an outsider speak to him.

"Just a question." You shrug looking away just as the office door opens.

The older woman who must be Carol comes up towards you with a smile.

She has no clue you know their plans, placing a fake smile upon your face you play your role too.

"Congrats, looks like you're staying." She says stopping in front of you.

_Don't even try me bitch. I know what you're doing and I'm not going to play easy._

"That's great news." _Hooray, let me just do a backflip._

Carol looks to the guard by your side. "I can take it from here."

He nods before walking off.

"How about we have a quick tour of the Hilltop."

Nodding you keep your eyes on the older woman.

Reaching the man with the table he gives you your weapons. Placing them back into your normal place you feel complete again.

"Have you had anything to eat?" She asks.

_Shit, you haven't had a single meal today. The thought of leaving_ _Negan_ _and getting here was in you head that you spaced out eating._

"No. No luck with finding food." You answer trying to sound like you're still hurt from your heart to heart earlier.

"Alright, let's get you some food. Dinner will be served in a few minutes anyway." She smiles again. "By the way, my name is Carol."

You want to nod and tell her that you know her name. Let her know you heard the whole conversation, but instead you smile.

"Carol." _Might as well start with the acting gig now._ "My grandmother's name was Carol."

Carol smiles towards you, leading you out of the building. The both of you start towards a covered area, the smell of amazing food cooking causes hour stomach to clench in hunger.

"Whatever they're cooking it smells amazing." You comment as you both reach the area. 

A man and woman cook tirelessly behind their makeshift stove.

"Smells good over here." Carol says with a smile towards both of the cooks.

"Thank, we're just about finished." The woman glances up from her work. Eyeing Carol, then you. "So you're the new girl everyone's been talking about." She says towards you.

_People were already talking? Damn rumors spread quicker then wildfire in this place._

"Guilty." You smirk.

"Well welcome to The Hilltop. I'm Brianna, but you can call me Bree." She introduces herself.

"Nice to meet you, I'm (Y/N). Thanks, it's a nice place." _The Sanctuary was way better then this place._

"We were just about to start a tour but the smell of the food captivated us." You add.

"Well sugar your in luck, it's almost finished. When was the last time you've had anything to eat?" She asks glancing towards you.

"Uh." _Damn when was the last time you've sat down to eat?_

"Oh no honey, if you actually have to try and think it's been way too long." She shakes her head. Grabbing a small loaf of bread she hands it to you. Glancing behind herself to her husband she gives you the thumbs up. "We make them everyday." She adds.

Without hesitation you tear a piece and stuff it into your mouth. Who were you kidding, you weren't trying to make an impression on any of these people. 

_Who really cares if they watch you stuff your face?_

"It's delicious." You compliment with your mouth full.

"My husband Kenton, bakes every morning. I cook the breakfast and he BBQ's the dinner." Bree says turning to watch her husband flip some meat.

"Well I'm excited to have a real meal." You exclaim.

Bree grabs a plate, filling it up with greens and meat she slides it over towards you. "Go ahead and have the first plate. You need it more then anyone else here." She smiles.

"Thanks Bree." You take it gladly.

"What about you? You want your food?" Bree asks Carol.

"Put mine to the side. Also if you can, can you make sure Daryl actually eats? He's the gruff man carrying a crossbow."

_That asshole? She's making sure he eats. What was she, his mother?_

"Will do."

Carol ushers you away from the outdoor kitchen. Leading you towards the steps to the building she stops.

"Would you like to sit?"

Your feet feel numb at this point, you stopped feeling the pain once you realized they were trying to spy on you. Unfortunately once you think about sitting and resting you feet the pain rips through your legs as if they were being torn from your body.

"Definitely." You take a seat on the steps feeling the pain of your feet and legs scream in anger.

Carol sits a step lower then you, keeping her eyes casted out towards the large line forming in front of the makeshift kitchen.

You sit quietly stuffing your face with the best meal you've had in months. 

Not that the cook in The Sanctuary wasn't any good. Of course you don't get to eat the same meal as Negan. You have to normally cook your own food.

"So, you must be pretty tough if you've survived this long." Carol turns towards you as you rip another piece of bread.

"You too." You stuff the bread into your mouth. _Try me bitch, I've delt with smart ass Saviors for the last couple months. Don't test me._

She blinks towards you not expecting your comment. She turns away from you. 

She looks to be an older woman, a sweet older woman at that but she must have a hidden talent for survival if she's still walking around.

"I guess I've gotten lucky." She replies with a shrug.

"Then so have I." You answer honestly.

Negan found you right at the nick of time. You wouldn't have been able to survive out in the cold on your own. Running into him was a heavensent.

"So was this place a museum or something?" You ask.

Carol turns to glance towards the building. She shrugs quickly before giggling to herself.

"Honestly I have no idea. Maggie sort of took over not too long ago. Gregory knows more about the building." She answers glancing towards you.

Gregory, that was a new name. You haven't heard of him since you've been with The Saviors. 

_Who's this Gregory?_

"Gregory? Have I met him?" You asks licking your fingers of the last bit of food.

Carol rolls her eyes. "If you haven't count yourself lucky. He's some ass, if I were you I'd stay away from him." She glances back towards the crowd. "That's him." She nods her head towards the older man shouting at people in the yard.

The older man wears a grey suit, thinning grey hair and a voice that can carry. 

He looks a little familiar but you couldn't put your finger on it.

"The old man?" You ask wanting to make sure she pointed to the right person.

She nods quickly. "He's trouble. He knows how to turn things around on people."

_Hmm, sounds like Rick and the gang._

"Good to know." You comment.

Carol and you sit outside watching the others converse with one another. Watching these people will help you find out who the damn mole is. 

The faster it is to find them the quicker it is to get back to The Sanctuary with Negan.

A yawn that you weren't expecting shakes your whole being. You hadn't slept at all last night which was an awful decision on your part.

"Tired?" Carol asks.

"Yeah, a bit." You nod.

"I'd say so. You've been walking out in those woods all day, that would make anyone tired." She says with a small smirk. "How about we finish this tour tomorrow. I'll take you to your bedroom."

Nodding quickly, Carol and you head back inside the building and up the stairs.

She leads you towards a room with a beautiful painting of a woman and her dog. Inside the room is a desk, couch, wardrobe and coffee table.

"I hope the couch will suffice?" Carol asks.

"I'll live. This won't be my first couch." You smirk quickly. Taking your backpack off you lean it against the coffee table.

Carol watches you as you open the bag and grab some pajamas.

"Wow I haven't seen real pajamas in a long time." Carol comments.

Could this be the lead she was waiting for?

"I just found these bad boys the other day while walking around. You gotta enjoy the little things now and days. I didn't realize how much I missed PJ's." You shrug placing the material against your chest as if it were heavensent.

You could see the light in her eyes extinguish. She really thought she could tell her group about some pair of pajamas?

_Try a little harder Carol._

"Well, have a good night. Maggie sleeps in the room right next to you. So if you need anything don't be afraid to holler." 

"Thanks again." You smile.

Carol closes the door as she leaves you to be alone.

_Finally._

The pain for your cheeks from smiling to these idiots shocks you. Honestly you haven't smiled this much for this long since working in customer service.

Quickly changing into your pajamas, placing the dirty clothes from today on the table and place your new outfit for tomorrow on the desk.

Today was a productive day, left The Sanctuary on time, headed out into the woods, met with Rosita and Enid and now here you are in the Hilltop.

The luck you've had in this one day was insanely mind boggling, Negan would be proud. 

Just thinking of his name causes your pussy to clench with arousal. He made you feel wanted and loved this morning. Telling you about his first wife and admitting his feelings for you. 

The need to talk with Negan and let him know you're safe becomes vital. Glancing towards your backpack knowing the walkie talkie resides inside the bottom of the bag insists to be used.

Everyone residing inside The Hilltop are still awake, if someone were to hear your talking with someone in your room it would raise some concern to the others.

With Carol keeping an eye on you, you decide to keep the walkie talkie at the bottom of your bag until everyone is asleep.

Taking a seat on the couch you rest your very tired legs. The comfort of the couch reminds you of Negan's couch in his room. Closing your eyes you try to think of yourself back in his room, sitting on his couch.

_You're seated on his couch, legs laying along the length of the seat. Negan walks into his room holding Lucille in his hands. Eyeing you he smiles widely towards you._

_"Damn baby, you really are beautiful." He says walking towards you. His large hand grasps the side of your face. He leans down to claim your lips in a breath taking kiss._

_"You're not so bad yourself Negan. I'm a lucky girl." You smile pulling his leather jacket to keep him bent over._

_"Damn straight. I'm lucky to have you on my arm and you're lucky you get this dick more then any other of my wives." He boasts pulling away and walking towards the other couch._

_Of course, his other wives. You always forget he really isn't yours. Just thinking about him with one of the other girls makes the green monster inside of you bubble to life._

_He's always with you, why does he still have them around? Why weren't you good enough?_

_A knock on the door makes_ _Negan_ _and you turn._

_"Come in."_ _Negan_ _shouts._

_The door opens wide, Rick stands in the doorway. His red eyes boring into your soul then glancing towards_ _Negan_ _._

_"The fuck?" Negan glances towards you. "The hell are you doing here Rick?"_

_"We know who she works for. We know who you are." Rick says taking a few steps into the room._

_Negan grumbles, Lucille clutched in his hands he walks around the couch towards Rick. You go to move but find yourself stuck to the couch._

_"You don't know shit, Rick." Negan says lifting Lucille. "You come into my room, accuse my girl and you think I'm not going to disciple you for your accusations? You're goddamn wrong." Negan swings Lucille but Michonne comes into the doorway with her katana. Swinging the blade she cuts_ _Negan's_ _arm off._

_His arm and Lucille lay upon the ground by the coffee table._

_You shout in horror seeing him in such pain. Negan falls back onto the couch, bloody stump spewing buckets of blood onto the floor and couch._

_"You son of a bitch. You fucking cut off my swinging arm you fucking bitch."_ _Negan_ _shouts in agony._

_"We know who you are. We know why you're here." Michonne says before stabbing the katana into_ _Negan's_ _stomach._

You scream sitting up in the couch. Covered in sweat and tears streaming from your eyes you realize you had a nightmare.

_A fucked up one at that._

You don't remember falling asleep, glancing towards the window the moon shines brightly in the dark sky.

_How long have you been asleep?_

Climbing up from the couch you look around through the window to see if anyone was still outside. Just as you suspected no one was around.

You don't know what time it really could be at the moment but if you had to guess it was about two in the morning.

Moving to your bag in the middle of the room, you stuff your hand within the bag and grab the walkie talkie.

Glancing around the dark room, you grab a pillow. Creeping across the room you stuff the pillow under the door in case anyone was sitting outside.

Your eyes focus onto the wardrobe by the window, heading to the large wardrobe you open it. A smile creeps upon your face realizing you could fit perfectly inside since there was really nothing inside; except for a few sheets.

Climbing inside you close the door behind you, taking a seat inside the wardrobe, you lift the walkie talkie and turn the power knob.

A green light glows signalling that it's fully charged and working. You push the talk button.

"Negan." You keep your voice low. "Negan, it's me."

Letting the button go you wait. 

He could be asleep for all you know or worse, he was on his way to find you to make sure you were safe.

"Hey Doll." Negan's voice comes from the walkie talkie.

He sounds as if he's been sleeping, lucky for you he wasn't on his way here. 

"Hey. I'm safe, I'm here in The Hilltop." You begin.

"Fuck Doll, I was getting worried about you. Didn't hear from you I was about to send someone out there to make sure you were okay."

"No need. I'm okay." 

"What's it like being there?" He asks.

"It's weird. They don't trust me which is something I expected. I'm being watched."

"Fucking idiots all of them."

You chuckle to yourself loving his attitude.

"Tell me how your day was." Negan says.

He wants to know what happened today. Should you leave anything out or tell him everything that happened?

"I met two women who belong with Rick's group. They brought me to The Hilltop, Rick and the others are here. Had a meeting with them, I guess thia will be their new Alexandria." You could already hear him from the other side, screaming some vulgar words of excitement that I found where Rick and the others were.

"Fuck yeah baby. You did amazing. Stupid little prick Rick thinks he can hide at The Hilltop." He laughs into the walkie talkie. "What else baby?"

"Some asshole named Daryl made me cry." You stop hating that you said it out loud.

"He fucking what?" He asks the anger from his voice causing your pussy to clench.

He must know who Daryl was.

"He made me feel horrible, made me feel as if I haven't been through the ringer like everyone else has. He got into my face trying to intimidate me but of course that didn't work."

"I wish I was there with you. I would use Lucille to ease the pain away. When I say pain I mean never having to hear that redneck's voice again."

"He's just playing tough. I'm not afraid."

"Atta girl." He says. 

"Did I wake you?" You ask hoping you didn't wake him.

"No, I've been waiting for you to call." He answers.

Picturing Negan sitting on the couch with the walkie talkie on the table as he waits for your call brings a smile to your face.

"What took you so long to call?" He asks.

"I fell asleep. Woke up from a horrific nightmare too." You try to shake the thought out of your head.

"Nightmare?" 

"I don't want to talk about it." You shake your head thinking about Michonne killing Negan.

"Was I in it?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Did I die?"

"Negan, I don't want to talk about it. It felt so real." You explain, seeing Negan being stabbed by Michonne's katana again.

"Okay Doll, I won't push you any further." He pauses. "I miss your cute face."

"I miss yours too." You smile.

"Doll-" The sound of something from outside your room turns your attention away from Negan. Turning the walkie talkie down you listen for whatever made the noise.

"Doll?" You hear him call you from the low volume. "Are you there?"

You push the button and breath quietly. "Someone is out there. I think they're listening."

"Fuck. I'm on my way."

"No, no. Don't you dare. I can't have my cover blown."

"I also don't want you dying on me."

"Negan, I'm fine. Please, don't come for me." You plead.

Listening closely the sound of footsteps from outside your door begin to quiet down. Whoever was out there didn't hear you talking with Negan.

"Negan I think I'm going to have to let you go." You whisper.

"Damn it Doll. Please be fucking careful." You could hear the pleading in his voice.

"I always am. I'll call you tomorrow." You don't wait to hear what he as to say. Turning off the walkie talkie, you sit in the wardrobe in silence.

Sitting in silence for a few more minutes you find yourself coming out of the wardrobe and heading to the couch. You don't know who was out there but whoever it was was trying to spy on you.

Laying in the couch you think of Negan. His large arms and his soft lips kissing gently against your skin. Closing your eyes you dream about being with Negan once again.


	13. Strike One

You awake hours later, half of your body hanging off the couch. Moving from the position; your back protests from the new position after being in your Gumby pose for so long.

Grumbling to yourself as the pain continues to throb, you rub your eyes clean from sleep.

Who would have thought you would actually sleep like a baby in the enemy's protection.

_Protection? Could you actually call it that?_

These people let you in, yes they have no clue you work for Negan. No, they really haven't shown a damn sign of what they really can do. Possibly from losing Alexandria a few day ago. They needed to relax a little.

Maybe.

A knock at the door causes you to jump slightly, grabbing your hammer for protection. Moving to the door, keeping the hammer behind your back as you kick the pillow from under the door away.

"Yes?" You asks not ready to open the door just yet.

"Hey, it's Carol. Just wanted to let you know that breakfast will be served in thirty. I also wanted to give you a tour today. Meet some new people." She says through the door.

_Ugh, more people._

Rolling your eyes in irritation, you didn't want to meet any of the people in these godforsaken walls.

Of course you told them you haven't been around people im a long time, and a person who hasn't been around anyone would in fact want to be around others.

_Damn you and your mouth._

Kicking yourself in the ass; you sigh quietly so she doesn't hear the dread within.

"Okay, that sounds great." You lie making it sound as if you were excited. "Let me get dressed and I'll be right down."

"Perfect." She answers.

"Uh, Carol. One question, where's the restroom?" At this point your teeth were floating since you've been holding it in.

"Restroom is on the floor level by the portrait of the men hunting quail." 

"Awesome, thanks." Turning around, you begin to dress for the day. Once fully dressed you place your PJ's into the wardrobe.

Your eyes land on the walkie talkie from the coffee table. If they were to come into your room to see what you had or the person that walked by your bedroom door decided to come in while you were away.

Not wanting to take that chance, you grab the walkie talkie and stuff it deep into your bag once again. Grabbing your bag from the side of the table, to hide it from anyone you place it within the wardrobe and cover it up with some of the blankets.

If anyone were to look inside they would think it was just a stack of blankets inside the wardrobe.

Happy with yourself, finally opening the bedroom door to the building. Stepping out of the room and into the hall, you're met with a very quiet atmosphere.

Walking through the hall and down the stairs, you can finally hear some murmuring coming from the other end of the main floor.

The muffled voices come from the meeting room you were in yesterday, taking a few steps towards the meeting room, listening quietly to the murmurs forming into words.

"I wish I could have done something more." Rick's voice rings from behind the door.

"You did your best. There's nothing else you could have done." Michonne answers.

"It should have been me."

A voice clears from behind you causing you to jump out of your skin.

"Looking for something?" A man's voice greets you.

Turning around, you're met with Gregory.

Shit.

"I, I was looking for the bathroom." You lie.

"Well it's on the other side of the room." He answers moving to the side and pointing towards the other end of the main floor.

Noticing the picture Carol was telling you about, a small smile creeps onto your face.

"I thought she said portrait of the garden." You play dumb, gently smacking your palm against your forehead.

Your eyes meet Gregory's, he keeps a scrutinizing stare towards you. He then paces in front of you before glancing towards the meeting room. His mouth twitched.

"Maybe we should stick our head in there and let Rick know that you've been spying in their conversation."

The bastard was pushing his limit with you, Carol was right.

Of course you're not going to let some old man step on you.

"What good would spying in people do for me?" You ask him.

"You tell me, you're the one doing it." 

This asshole wasn't going to let it go. What would Negan do in a situation as this?

That's when it hits you, where you've seen Gregory. This asshole walked past you in the hall back in The Sanctuary. Negan walked in front of the guy leading him to his office.

Gregory paid you no mind, keeping his eyes on your leader.

Matter of a fact, that was the same day the dead took over the Sanctuary. This old guy was most definitely bad luck but he wasn't the mole either.

"I don't have time for games." You start with a shrug. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Might as well pack your bags when you're finished, they won't have a spy in these walls." He presses trying to get his claws into you.

"Go ahead and let them know. They won't believe you anyway." Walking towards the restroom.

Gregory keeps his eyes on you as you pass by him and reach the portrait.

"Why wouldn't they believe me?" He asks, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Cause they don't trust you." You finish just before opening the restroom door.

He blinks at your words, probably trying to figure out how you knew they didn't trust him.

Happy with your answer, you walk into the restroom to relieve yourself.

* * *

Once finished, Gregory having left the area all together (which was expected). Heading outside you're met with chatter coming from the lawn.

People crowed the lawn eating breakfast, your stomach grumbles with hunger at the smell of the meal they're serving.

Grabbing a plate from Bre, you begin to eat breakfast.

You can't remember the last time you actually had good breakfast such as this, scarfing the meal down just as quick as you received it.

Soon you're left with just the plate and an unopened water.

Noticing Carol making her way towards you as she looks around to the others on the lawn, you try your hardest not to roll your eyes.

"How was breakfast?" She asks glancing towards the plate.

"Pretty good." You answer quickly, opening the water to keep from saying anything else.

"Good to hear, so I heard you ran into Gregory." 

There it is, the morning gossip that was going around. Normally the morning gossip was something to look forwards to. Like, Gavin was once caught masturbating. Moaning one of Negan's others wives names. Of course Gavin denies any of it ever happened. 

Or one of your favorite morning gossip stories, Dwight and Sherry. They meet in the stairwell in the sanctuary to smoke and talk. Yes they were still married but the fact that she is known as Negan's wife it was very dangerous for the both of them. You heard that Dwight received his burns by ironing because Sherry and him were caught "bumping uglies" as Simon would call it.

Morning gossip was great. This time around it makes you sick, hate the people around you and piss you the fuck off. It wasn't any fun when the morning gossip was about you.

"Yeah, he's a real peach." 

She smiles a genuine smile towards you. "That he is." She chuckles to herself.

"What did sweet 'ol Greg have to say?" You ask wanting to know the entire spiel.

"Well I'm hearing that we need to keep an eye on you." She shrugs as if she wasn't the one creeping by my bedroom door last night.

So the trader was was trying to earn points from Rick Grimes, maybe some trust.

"Also heard something else, something along the lines of you listening in on A conversation." 

The asshole actually did do it. Found his balls and told others about what happened. Didn't think he had the guts.

"Ah, I see."

"Well, Rick wants to have a meeting once you're finished with your meal."

Look like I'm fresh out of eggs.

"Well, I'm ready when you are." You answer wanting to get this shit out of the way. You're not worried about meeting with Rick, you knew the truth; which so happens to be a lie that you made up to save your ass. You were still new to The Hilltop, they would hear your side either way.

Carol and you walk into the building and right into the office. She knocks on the door signaling that you're both there and ready for the meeting. The door opens wide, as you expected it wasn't just Rick Grimes but the same people that were in the meeting from yesterday and the asshole that brought you in here.

Gregory.

"Good morning." You smile towards the others, giving Gregory one look you give him the largest smile. Maybe it was the fact that you've been around Negan for so long that give adopted his cockiness.

Game on bitch.

Rick isn't as red nosed as be was yesterday, today he stands behind the desk holding a little girl in his arms.

That must be his daughter, the little sister Carl had brought up the other day.

Wait Carl, where the hell is Carl?

Without greeting you back Rick stops bouncing the little girl in his arms. 

"You probably know why you're here." Rick hands the little girl over to Michonne.

Nodding, you wait for him to continue.

"Gregory told us that you were spying on a conversation Michonne and I were having earlier." His southern accent shocking you. You weren't expecting him to sound like a cowboy.

Pushing your thought of his voice out of your mind. "Well did he also tell you that I thought I was headed towards the bathroom?" You ask.

Rick and the others glance towards Gregory. Rick's face turning a slight shade of pink.

"He did not." He answers keeping his eye on the older man.

"Ah, I see." You nod. "I had just asked Carol for the directions to the bathroom. I mistakenly headed to the garden portrait instead of the quail hunting portrait. When I heard the muffled voices, I thought it was a line to the restroom; so I waited." You finish.

"Carol, can you confirm?" Rick asks.

"We did have that conversation this morning, yes."

Rick turns back towards Gregory, anger plaster on his bearded face.

"You lying shit." He growls.

"Rick, I was trying to help." Gregory starts, he raises his arms ad if he were the victim.

Oh please, I hope he really isn't buying any if this bullshit.

"By lying to us. This is the second time we've delt with your antics."

"Rick, you know me. It wasn't on purpose."

Time to add your wood to the fire.

"False, we had the same conversation. Except you told me that I might as well pack my bags. They weren't going to believe me, over you." A trader. You wanted to say aloud but keep the words in your mind.

He turns towards Rick once again before pleading with the tired looking man.

"Enough, I'm done with the lies. Maggie, take him to the cage."

You assume the cage was the large fenced off area by the side of the main entrance door. 

Was it like their own jail?

"We apologize for the inconvenience." Michonne pipes up finally.

"Thank you, I think the older man may be going senile." You comment glaring to the older man as Maggie grabs him by the shoulders and leads him out the door.

Don't mess with me bitch.

His eyes squint towards you in anger. Either from your comment or perhaps the cocky look on your face.

"How did you sleep?" Michonne asks.

With my eyes closed. You wanted to answer.

"Pretty good." It wasn't a lie. Of course it wasn't the best sleep of hour life. Sleeping in The Sanctuary was far more comfortable. Well honestly a bed is always more comfortable then a couch.

"That's good. Did Carol and you have plans for today?" She asks.

The way she speaks to you reminds you of how an babysitter would talk to a child. Slow and enunciate every word. You were surprised she didn't bend down to your level to talk.

"Some exploring, tour around." You answer glancing toward Carol who was whispering towards the redneck.

"Good, we hope you enjoy your stay here. We want you to feel as comfortable as possible."

The urge to throw your head back and cackle was hard to keep down.

"Thank you." You answer instead of giving them some sarcastic reply.

I hope I find the person quick, I need to get the hell out of here and back to Negan.

"Again, we're sorry about Gregory. He doesn't seem to understand who's in charge." Michonne smiles.

Odd, I could say the same thing about you all.

"Of course." You shake your head. He wasn't a problem to you, honestly if the man tries to cross you again you'll show him a thing or two.

Rick keeps his back towards the rest of you as he takes his daughter from Michonne's arm.

"Come on, let's get that tour started." Carol begins, leading you out of the office and into the lobby.


	14. By Far The Best, Worst Day

The tour was pretty eye opening. You learned how they got out of Alexandria, where they stayed abd when they came into the Hilltop and took over. 

You met more people they traveled with but the real question that still hasn't been answered was where Carl is. You've seen his little sister but where in the world was Carl Grimes.

How could you ask Carol about him without letting her know that you actually know everything about Rick and his people?

Maggie crosses the lawn towards Carol and you, placing her hands at the base of her back.

"How are you feeling today?" Carol asks the younger woman.

"I'm okay, Gregory is giving us some shit now. He was kicking and fighting with a few of our guards." She shakes her head. "He's such a prick."

"You can say that again." You reply knowing that they weren't talking to you. Eavesdropping has always been a talent of your to begin with.

Maggie and Carol turn towards you. By the looks from Carol she wasn't having you add your few cents into their conversation. Maggie on the other hand gives you a small smirk.

"I'm sorry about earlier, he's sure a character." She apologizes for the older man's actions.

You wonder what Negan thought about him? If Negan were to find out about the shit Gregory was pulling on you today, he'd kill the poor bastard before he was even able to mumble an apology.

"Yeah, he just needs to learn to control his tongue." You shake your head before glancing towards the cage. Gregory sits against the fence watching some of the others walk by.

"Agreed." Maggie answers. Turning her attention back to Carol, she smiles kindly towards the older woman.

"Have any craving yet?" Carol asks.

_Cravings? Could Maggie be pregnant? How could someone decide to have a baby during this shit show?_

_Was it an accident?_

_Who was the father?_

_Most importantly, why do you even care?_

"Pickles, some Cola too. I even wanted some corn dogs recently but I mean where could we find those things?" She chuckles shaking her head. 

"Who knows, maybe the lady and her husband that cook know how to fry things." Carol shrugs quickly with a giggle.

_Bre, her names Bre._ You want to tell Carol but keep it in. Today was not the day to have any arguments. This mornings argument was enough, thank you very much.

"You're pregnant?" You finally ask. Damn it you wish you weren't so nosy some times.

Maggie turns towards you. Placing her hand on her stomach she rubs gently before nodding with a grin.

"I am. It's my first. I just wish my husband were here to enjoy this time with me." She keeps her eyes casted down towards her stomach. If she was showing you couldn't tell, with all the clothes she wears it was hard to see even the shape of her body.

_Her husband, he must have recently just passed. Possibly from the dead geeks walking around hungry for blood._

"Glenn would have been such a good father." Carol comments.

Glenn? Rosita said that Negan had lilled a man named Glenn. Could it be the same guy?

"Maggie." A tall man walks up with both hands holding caned corn.

"Yes, Caleb?" She turns her attention towards him.

"I know we have hours to prepare before the saviors show up."

_The saviors were coming today?_ If they find out you're here with the enemy they would definitely blow your cover.

Rick and the others would definitely kill you when they find out you're actually a savior.

"We only have these two cans left until the crops are completely grown." The Caleb guy finishes.

"We'll just have to them the truth." 

Carol turns towards you, her arm pushing you away from the two talking.

"We'll let them talk it out." She says leading you back towards the building.

"Who are those people he's talking about?" You decide to ask, since you really haven't brought them up since they accepted you into the group.

"The Saviors, they're a large dangerous group or men that come into the Hilltop every other week. They used to go to Alexandria as well. The group is lead by a man named Negan."

Just the thought of his name makes your pussy throb with need. 

"Negan?" Damn it, you want Negan next to you again. Need his lips on yours, his large hand down your pants and-

"Yeah, Negan is the reason we don't have Alexandria anymore." The both of you stop by the stairs leading inside the building. She shakes her head thinking about how they lost Alexandria.

_False. You all started the fire in the woods_.

"He started the fire?" You ask referring to the earlier story she was letting about Alexandria going up in flames.

"He started that one and killed enough of our people. He killed Glenn, Maggie's husband."

"Negan killed Glenn?"

"With his baseball bat called Lucille." She adds.

Lucille, who would have guessed you would miss a baseball bat?

"Negan has some personal issues, the fact that he is so controlling and hateful probably means he has himself a small penis. That's just my thought." 

_Oh Carol, you are so wrong my dear._ _Negan's_ _penis is, well how could you put it? Immaculate. He knows where to put it and how to use it so well that it leaves your legs shaking and wanting more._

"You think?" You ask squeezing you legs together to keep the ache from your needy pussy to a minimum.

"Possibility." She shrugs. "Back to the Saviors. They're going to be here in a few hours. Would you like to join in on the trade today?" 

_Fuck no, I would not!_ Abort mission, sirens in your mind go off.

"Uh. Not this time. Thank you though." You smile softly on the outside, on the inside your trying to stay calm and make sure you don't blow your cover. 

Could she see the sweat forming on your hairline?

"Okay, next time." She nods.

_There really better not be a damn next time._ You grumble to yourself.

The sound of a loud honking truck causes the both of you and the others outside to turn towards the gates.

Recognizing that trucks horn you clam up in fear, the saviors were here. Hours early too.

"They're here." Carol widens her eyes in surprise.

"Is this normal?" You ask. Knowing sure as hell that it wasn't normal. The guys would rather be home, talking shit about others and picking their teeth as if they're really some badass guys. When in reality most of them are chicken shit.

"No, they normally have a set time." 

They must have been in a rush today? What else could it be except. No, could Negan be in the truck with them?

Negan was probably worried about you, wanting to join in on the trade today to make sure you're safe.

Noticing Maggie and Caleb rushing to the gates almost makes you run into the building without saying another word to Carol.

"Open it up." Maggie shouts.

Keeping your composure, taking a deep breath you glance towards Carol. "I think I'm going to head back into my room upstairs." Remembering that Simon is the leader of the group that comes to the Hilltop makes your stomach knot in worry.

"Okay." Carol nods, she walks towards Maggie as support for her friend.

Rushing into the building, slamming your back against the door you realize you're not the only one in the lobby.

You're leaning against the door with the large group of people from Alexandria.

_Shit._

They all keep their eyes on you as if you just rang the dinner bell. Realization hits you like a freight train, they weren't supposed to be here. The last thing Negan knew about Rick's group was that they escaped into the unknown.

"Uh, hello." You begin.

"Shh." Enid grabs you by the wrist and leads you away from the door.

"What are we being quiet about?" You ask as if you didn't know.

"The Saviors don't know we're here." She answers.

_Called it. One point Saviors, zero for Rick._

"Oh, okay." Looking away you notice the redneck watching you.

"How you know bout the Saviors?" He asks.

"Cause I told her." Enid answers.

"Also Carol just told me a little more." You add. _I also sleep with the leader but we'll just keep that a secret._

He grumbles something to the others, Rick glances towards you trying to figure you out as if you were an Rubik's cube.

_Whatever._

Turning towards the window, you watch as the gates open wide for the truck to pull into the dirt road. The truck parks and exiting out of the truck you silently name each man.

_Simon, Dwight, Patrick and Jared. Fucking Jared? Who the hell let him, he's not supposed to be with this group. Forget Jared, I'd rather have_ _Negan_ _here instead._

Jared turns glancing towards the window you stand by, squinting to make out the face from within the darker building.

You could feel your heart drop down to your butt, you stomach twist in knots at the sight of the long haired asshole.

_Did he see me?_

"I uh, is it okay if I just go back to my room?" You ask glancing towards Rick and the gang, as if a child asks to be excused from the dinner table.

"Are you okay?" Michonne asks in a whisper.

"I just felt ill all of a sudden. I mean it's hot outside and all. I feel kinda dizzy." _Or like I'm going to puke._

If that asshole were to see you he would blow your cover in a second. He hated you enough he would probably kill you himself before Rick or the redneck even had a chance.

"Of course." She nods. "Go get some rest."

They make a hole for you so you can make it up the stairs and out of sight. If today wasn't the shittiest day you've had in years you didn't know if anything could really put the cherry on top?

Making it into your room you close the door behind you, rushing to the wardrobe to find the damn walkie talkie. 

Tossing the blankets to the side and stuffing your arm into the bag, you dig for the walkie. 

With the walkie in hand you quickly climb into the wardrobe and close it when you sit in the dark.

Switching the knob, the light glows green, signaling that it was on and ready for use.

"Negan." You begin. "Negan, are you there?"

White noise greets you from the other end of the Walkie.

_Fucking shit. What if he saw me? Damn it_ _Negan_ _, I need you to answer. Please._

Knowing Jared, he would weasel his way into the building and find where you're hiding.

You knew you should have Negan kill him when you had the chance.

"Negan." You cry into the walkie afraid for your safety. Your hands shake from the fear of him looking for you, for the possibility of him spotting you. 

"Doll?" Negan's voice breaks into the wardrobe and pulls you out of your panic attack.

"Negan." You whoop, a fresh batch of tears slipping down your cheeks.

"Last time I checked the sun was still out. You're a little early." You could tell he was wanting to add a 'do you miss me that much doll?'

"Its kind of an emergency."

"What? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"Physically I'm fine." Keeping you finger on the button you try to calm your shaky voice. "Simons group is here a few hours early today. Fucking Jared is here and I think he might have seen me."

"Why are they so fucking early?" Negan asks himself aloud.

"Last time I remember Jared was supposed to remain on Gavin's group and I would have switched to the Hilltop. Is he supposed to be with Simon?"

"No, he's not. Simon and I had a bit of a disagreement this morning. Who else is in his group today?"

"Uh. Dwight, Patrick and fucking Jared."

"Dwight? Billy was supposed to be there not Dwight."

_Could he be our mole?_

"Just stay calm doll. I'll get it fixed, just hang tight." He says. Keeping the button pressed he begins to talk on another walkie talkie. "Simon come in." He starts.

"Yeah." Simons voice rings from the other walkie.

"Where the hell are you?" Negan asks.

"The Hilltop. Just collecting the good."

"Right. Aren't you supposed to be searching for Rick's group?"

"I thought I could take a break. Go and get this over with."

"Without my knowledge?"

_Oh damn._

You didn't have to see Negan to know he was pissed. He was beyond pissed, Negan is incandescent.

"Motherfucker, I'm fucking sick of his bullshit. He thinks he can just do whatever the fuck he wants without me knowing. Trying to double cross me, he's not going to fucking realize what fucking hits him when he gets his fucking ass back here." Negan shouts.

"I didn't think I needed to tell you that I was going to do my job." Simon answers.

"Get you ass back to the fucking Sanctuary, right goddamn now!" Negan roars.

"Fine, we're done anyway." He answers.

You hear Negan break something from the other end of the Walkie. 

"Doll, I think I'm losing my shit here." He says into the Mic.

He finally releases the button so you can talk, you don't know what to say about his own right hand man becoming a total douchebag.

"Negan, close your eyes." You begin into the Mic.

"Close my eyes?" He asks.

"Yes, just do as I say." You order trying to distract him from his stress filled day. Also why not have a little fun with it too?

"Okay, they're closed." 

"Good. Now, I hope you're somewhere comfortable. I need you to follow my every instruction. Can you do that for me big boy?" You ask.

"Yes ma'am." 

"Good. Negan I need you to undo your belt for me and pop your button. I want you to do that for me but I want you to do it slowly." 

Imagining Negan sitting on the couch inside his room and placing the walkie talkie to the side to do as you say causes your pussy to clench with need for attention.

Closing your own eyes closed, you imagine yourself inside his room. Sitting right in front of him.

"That's a good boy. Stick your hand down your pants and grab that giant dick for me."

"Fuck Doll, I wish you were here right now."

"Shh, I'm right there with you. Keep your eyes closed and feel me there. Pull your cock out for me baby."

In your mind you see Negan stuffing his hand down his pants, grabbing his thick cock and pulling it out from its pant cage.

Placing the walkie to the side you begin to unbutton your own pants. Crouching the best you can in the wardrobe you pull your pants down and panties remaining on.

"Mmm." He moans into the Mic.

Grabbing the walkie from the side, you use your left hand to rub your aching clit over your panties. You knew you've horny like a fucking teenager for the last couple days but when your fingers rub gentle circles along your clit the moisture was hard to deny.

"Awe baby, I'm all soaked for you. You want to play with it before you fuck me or do you want to just fuck needy pussy?" You ask.

"Give me that pussy baby, I need that pussy." He answers. He spits into his hand.

"Okay, I'm moving my panties to the side to let you in baby. Come on big boy. Fuck this tiny pussy." You moan as you move the panties to the side and rub two fingers against the juices.

"I'm rubbing myself along your beautiful pussy, want all your juices so I can slide right in baby."

"Mmm, you're such a tease." You smile into the walkie as you continue to coat your fingers with your juices. "Rub the tip against my clit baby, you know I love it when you do that."

"Fuck, I'm so fucking hard for you." He moans into the Mic.

Rubbing your fingers along your clit as if it was his cock head brings another moan to escape your lips.

You really fucking hope Rick's people don't try to come by to see if you're okay.

"You ready for this cock baby, I can't wait to be seated inside that tight pussy."

"I'm always ready."

"Beg for my cock." He commands.

"Please, please Negan. I need your cock."

He moans into the walkie just as you begin to push your fingers into your opening. Of course it doesn't feel like him but for now it would have to do.

"Fuck. You're so big, I can never get used to the size."

"You fucking love it." He says.

Imagining Negan trying to squeeze his hand around his cock to match the tightness to your pussy brings another moan to leave your mouth.

"I'm not gonna be gentle."

"Good, I just want to feel you." You breath into the Mic.

As if you're able to see his every move, he begins to pump his large cock with his hand, squeezing it tight enough to match the tightness you give him. Pumping your fingers into your cunt, you pant imagining your fingers as his large cock. 

"Ahh, fuck. Please don't stop." You beg into the walkie.

"Fuck baby, I love your greedy little pussy." He pants.

Your fingers continue pumping, the moisture having made your fingers pruney from how long the both of you've been thinking of each other. Not reaching the goal just yet, you add a third finger into your rhythm.

"Shit." Your breath labored.

"You going to cum? Please tell me you're going to cum." Negan asks voice pained from his release begging to rupture.

"Almost. I just need a little more." You pant on the edge but not reaching your goal.

"Rub that pretty clit for me, princess. Look down and watch how you take me so well." He says so calmly into the walkie.

Placing the walkie down to the side you rub with your now newly empty hand, keeping your eyes closed you imagine all the amazing times you've been with Negan. Watching him work his magic and the beautiful way he fills you up.

"You see it baby? You see how good you take me cock? Keep watching our connected bodies baby." Negan he moans into the Mic.

Just the thought of Negan imagining the way your bodies connect, the sound it makes as he claims you pussy with his love. His large hands clinging to your body for more, pushing you closer to his body so he's pounding deep. 

He holds onto the button to walkie, his moans filling the wardrobe. "Cum for me princess." He begs his release on the verge of taking him over.

Imagining him open mouthed, panting as he pumps his hand over his thick cock begging for you to cum. The image of Negan's eyes rolling back and pleasure filled face pulls you over the edge.

"Cum for me."

"I'm cumming." You cry out as if he could hear you. He groans on the other side of the walkie, his release claiming his desire.

"Fuck." He breaths out. He must have let go of the button since silence fills the wardrobe.

Grabbing to walkie once again you push the button and let out a little sigh of relief.

"Shit, Negan. I wish you were really here." You admit softly.

"I know Doll, it's not the same without you." He answers.

"Did I distract you enough?" You ask with a smirk upon your face.

"Damn straight." The sound a knock on his door comes through the walkie. "Give me a minute!" He shouts to the person behind the door. "I guess it's back to reality." He says so gently.

"Yeah, I guess it is." You answer.

"Be careful, please call me when you need to talk. I'll be waiting for that call tonight."

"Yes sir, I'll still give you another call."

"Doll, I love you." He adds.

Closing your eyes, missing him so much. His arms around you, his lips, his touch. Just the fucking sight of him brings a hole to your heart. You care for him more then you can fathom.

Pushing the button you let a soft breath out. "I... I love you too." You finally admit out loud.

"I'll talk to you tonight." He says, you can hear the smile in his voice.

"Its a date." You answer. Turning off the walkie you lean your head against the wardrobe. You admitted that you love him, closing your eyes you knew that the words you spoke were actually the truth.

You were madly and deeply in love with Negan.


	15. Cancer

Exiting out of your room after the Saviors left back to The Sanctuary gave you an ounce of relief. You wish you could say the same thing for Rick and the others.

Glancing over the railing to the lobby you notice the three musketeers. Rick, Michonne and the redneck; Daryl.

They must have been waiting for you to leave the safety of your room.

Oh boy, if they had any idea what had just happened in there.

"Come on down here, so we can have a chat." Rick says keeping his eyes on you.

Remembering Daryl saying something to Rick while the four assholes were still within the walls. The look Rick was giving you brought those nervous butterflies back to your stomach.

Shit, what did Daryl say to him?

"Alright." You agree not wanting them to know you're nervous. Keep it cool, act as if nothing had happened.

Besides the fact that you finger blasted yourself in a spare wardrobe in your room.

Heading down the stairs towards those three; bring a itch of anxiety in the back of your mind. Shit was already starting to hit the fan only a day after your arrival.

What shit luck you've had since you've made it to the Hilltop.

"What do we want to talk about?" You ask finally reaching them. Your eyes remaining on Michonne, since she seems less bothered.

"How are ya feeling?" Daryl asks, tightening his hold on his crossbow.

"Well I rested my head, took a small nap and now I kinda feel like I could go jogging." You lie. Especially about the jogging. Fuck that.

"Really? You weren't hiding from anyone?" Daryl presses.

Keep that poker face on, don't even give him an excuse to think anything else about you.

"Hiding? From?" You ask with confusion.

"Those Saviors." Rick finally says something.

If you're supposed to act your ass off then it might as well have the others devouring your words. What would Leo do?

You let out a sigh. Keeping your eyes downcast towards your shoes, you try not to meet their eye. For the Oscar.

"Just one." You answer.

"One?" Michonne asks.

"I knew one of them from before." Shaking your head you try to seem embarrassed.

"So you were hiding from?"

"My ex." You answer finally meeting Michonne's stare. "The long haired one." Just the thought of that asshole makes you want to punch his lights out.

"He was-"

"We dated for a little while. We ended on bad terms. Knowing he's still out here and with the Saviors really doesn't sit well with me." You interrupt Rick, keeping your eyes locked on his.

"I've never seen him before." Michonne adds.

"He's an asshole. Put his hands on me once and that was the last time too." Technically not a lie, he did sucker punch you in the gut and you did kick his ass.

"We didn't know." Michonne says taking a step towards you. Her hand resting gently on your shoulder.

"Its okay, there was no way you could've known. I just can't believe that it's such a small world." You cross your arms over your chest and continue to shake your head in disbelief.

Would shedding a tear be too much?

"Well are you okay?" Rick asks.

Fuck yes, he believes your act. I would like to thank the academy, all the little people I had to step on to get this gold naked man.

"I'm okay, I was a bit shaken up is all. I'm sorry."

"There is no reason to be sorry." Rick adds.

Two points Saviors, zero Rick.

You nod again. This was easier then you thought it would be, they believed you were with Jared. Think that your relationship with him went south.

"What's the asshole's name?" Daryl asks actually wanting to get a little more info.

"Jared." You answer eyeing the redneck. You wonder what he would look like without his crossbow glued to his back. You haven't seen him without that damn thing since you've been here.

He chews his bottom lip before glancing towards Rick. "I'm gonna go talk to Carol. See what happened out there." Daryl says not having another word to say to you since he couldn't prove you wrong.

Sucker.

Rick nods to the redneck, he walks off leaving it to be just the leader, Michonne and you.

"Well now that we know what really happened we understand. It would be awful to see someone who treated you so badly before all this happened, alive and well. Even worse since he's a Savior." Michonne starts.

"I just can't believe it." You answer.

"Don't blame you. Uh, if you need anythang."

"Thanks Rick." You smile softly towards the man.

He nods before leaving towards the office.

"I hope you're okay."

"I'm fine. Is there anything else that we can do now that they're gone?" You ask changing the subject.

"Uh, well I think you could either meet up with Carol to get more info or of I were you I'd stay in my room. Take another nap, nothing else you can really do now." She says gently.

"I'll go check with her." You smile as you walk out of the lobby and outside the building.

Carol and Daryl stand together, looking to be having a deep conversation. Really you could care less what it's about, but knowing it's possibly about you makes you a little curious.

Noticing Maggie lifting a large crate changes your course from Carol to the short haired brunette.

"Hey, let me help you." You offer.

"Thank." She smiles kindly towards you.

"So those Saviors." You try to start a conversation, maybe get some news.

"Ugh, yeah. I hate those guys. Two of them were new to The Hilltop." She says as you help lift the large crate with her.

"Do they have that many people?" You ask.

Yes, we have that many people.

"Yeah, they have lots of men. Some women too but mostly men." She answers.

"Do they have like an outpost like this or is it way bigger for all those people?"

"Well they have The Sanctuary, its a big building. I heard it was once a factory of some sort. Probably where Eugene is making all those bullets."

They know Eugene? The fat dork with the mullet?

"What? They have someone to make bullets?"

"Unfortunately yes, Eugene was a science teacher before all this started. He told all of us some bullshit lies that got a lot of our people killed. He then went to Negan's side to help that asshole. Now he's making bullets." She grunts, the both of you throw the crate to the side of the fence. "Hopefully we find more goods for next week." She shrugs.

"It must be so hard having some of your people go out to find all this stuff and just have to give it away.

"That's why we're growing crops, veggies and all sorts of stuff. We also have some people at another outpost called The Kingdom. They have pigs abd other things which is nice. They give us some stuff and vice versa."

"Must be nice." You comment. "So do you have volunteers to go out and search for all the stuff or do you guys give jobs to people?"

"Everyone has a job. I like that you're asking these questions, interested?" She asks placing her hands on her hips.

"A little. I mean, I'm kinda used to going out to find my own stuff." Not a lie, you do enjoy being out in the open. A little bit of danger kinda makes you feel alive.

"Well I have a group going out today to search. Wanna join?"

"Count me in."

"Great, let me lead you to them." She smiles leading you through the lawn towards the back of the building where Rosita, two other man and another woman are packing a bag.

"Afternoon everyone, we have another recruit for your run today." Maggie says.

"The new girl, how you liking The Hilltop?" The man with a beard asks.

"It's great." Lie.

"Good to hear, well welcome to the team. I'm David, this here is Kevin, Michelle and I think you know may know Rosita." He introduces the others.

"Nice to meet you all, yes I do know Rosita. Hello again."

Rosita keeps he mouth shit as she silently judges you.

Well fuck you too. 

"When are we leaving?" You ask David.

"We need to wait for our leader of the group to show up and then we'll be off." He says with a nice smile.

"Alright, I'll leave y'all to it." Maggie says patting you on the shoulder before heading off towards the front of the building.

"I saw you earlier with the older woman." Kevin says.

"Her name is Carol." Rosita says growling towards the younger man.

"Well excuse me." He glares towards the young woman.

"Can we not so this today? Honestly all I want to do is go on our run and come back with some good shit." Michelle says staring at her nails, as if she's still getting them done even during the end of the world.

"Mine your own business, puta." Rosita shoots.

"Don't get all bilingual with me, I did learn Spanish in high school and I do not appreciate you calling me a hooker."

"She called you a bitch." Kevin shakes his head.

Well if you felt home sick being away The Sanctuary this most definitely made you feel a lot better. Of course the Saviors were different, more trigger happy.

"Bitch? I'm not a bitch, you're the bitch you bitch."

"Ooh, that one really hurt." Rosita rolls her eyes.

"Guys, please. We really don't need this today. Last time we argued like this we lost AJ. We need our heads in the game." David tries to clam the others down. 

Glancing towards the building, you notice Daryl walking towards the group and you. 

"The hell? I can hear all you bickering all the way in the front. Calm your asses down."

"Yes boss." David says.

Kiss ass.

"Maggie told me you want to help out around here. I think it's about time you made yourself useful."

"Agreed, being here only a day without contributing to the Hilltop was far too much to ask for." You answer Daryl with a straight face.

Who wad he kidding? Daryl wasn't like Negan, he was far less intimidating due to lack of baseball bat. Maybe it was also the fact that Daryl was putting on a front, trying to be tough and not to be messed with. You know people like him and unfortunately for him, it wasn't working.

"Better watch your mouth sunshine."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Keeps me on my toes." 

"Well your mouth just earned you as bag woman." He says grabbing the bag from Rosita's hands and dropping it in front of you.

Was he serious? Did he really think you could carry a large bag such as this and all the other shit that would be going inside?

If Negan was here. 

"I can do that. Besides, you look like your hands are full." Lifting the back you swing it over your shoulder.

Daryl growls towards you before turning and heading towards the front gates. "Let's go."

* * *

Hours pass by excruciatingly slow, the bag weighing over your shoulder half full. The others haven't said a word to you since the argument Daryl and you had back in the Hilltop.

You've kept your mouth shut long enough to 1, keep you safe along with the other asshole while you're out in the open. 2, so Daryl doesn't make you do some other bullshit. Like walk on your hands while carrying the bag with your feet.

It wass bullshit that he's making you carry the heavy bag on your own. Negan would never make you do such things like that, he would make someone else do it but never you.

You knew Daryl was only doing this to you because he didn't trust you, which he had all the right to do. Since you really shouldn't be trusted anyway.

Rosita walks up towards you with another can of green beans. Turning so she can throw it into the back, you grumble to yourself when the weight digs into your shoulders.

"You know, if you would have just kept your mouth shut you wouldn't be in this position." She says eyeing you.

She knew what you was feeling, she had the bag on her shoulder before Daryl took it from her. She must have carried it with her way before you showed up.

"Where's the fun in that?" You ask with a smile.

Of course she doesn't see any amusement in that but to you it was fun being the sarcastic bitch you've been for years.

"Whatever." She shakes her head before walking off leaving you alone.

Rosita wasn't so bad, she was hurt and angry. She lost people, obviously the only way to cope was to become bitter with everyone else. 

Glancing towards Michelle, she really shouldn't be out her. She may have got the job because they needed the position to be filled. She was a skinny girl, bright blonde hair and way into herself to be out here finding goods.

She bends over, ass sticking out as if trying to get any of the guys attention . Rolling her eyes when Daryl keeps his eyes on his task she picks up the can from the ground.

"Sweet potatoes." She whispers loud enough that Daryl and Kevin turn.

She walks up with the can in hand.

"First can that doesn't look like it's been dropped." She says in surprise.

"Maybe it's because no one wants to eat sweet potatoes without the marshmallows." You shrug, glancing towards the rotted marshmallows on the rack.

"Too much calories." She shakes her head. Sliding the can into the backpack.

"Right, exactly what I was thinking." Shaking your head, you turn to Kevin by the wall.

He was a bit chunky, pale skin and red hair. Anyone could see him from far with the unnaturally red hair, who would have time to dye their hair during this time?

He walks over with a handful of batteries, shavers and condoms.

"Condoms, really?" You ask keeping an eye on his face.

"What, people still can get it in during the end of the world. I mean, might as well be safe. Who needs a crying baby?" He asks.

"She doesn't cry very much." Daryl answers as he walks up towards the both of you.

Of course Daryl was referring to Rick's daughter, he was right though. She doesn't cry all that much, since you've been in the Hilltop you haven't heard her even make a peep. Kevin on the other hand was right as well, a crying baby would be a problem. With all the dead, it was like ringing a dinner bell.

"Wasn't talking about Rick's kid. Just babies in general." Kevin says sliding the items into the bag.

"Ain't no one else have a baby here besides Rick."

"Right and She's an exception. I haven't heard her cry once. Of course, other babies might cry."

"He's just trying to make a point." You decide to add your two cents, keeping your eye on the redneck.

He glares towards you as if you sneezed on him or if you insulted him for even speaking in his general direction.

"We weren't talking to you." He says with a growl.

"Well she is holding the bag, we're talking around her so she can answer."

Daryl glares towards Kevin, he keeps his eye on the younger man as if he was some sort of alien for having my back.

Instead of saying anything else Daryl throws the good he found into the bag and walks off for more.

"Thanks." You grin towards Kevin.

"He's just a giant crab. I'm pretty sure he's a Cancer." He adds the condoms into the bag.

"What?" You ask in confusion.

"You know, a Cancer. His sign. You do know what I'm talking about, right?" He asks.

"Oh. Astrological signs, right." You nod in understanding.

"Yeah, if I'm right he's definitely a Cancer. Cancer starts from June 21 and ends July 22, we'll have to figure it out." He smiles glancing towards Daryl from across the store.

"Maybe. I'm not sure." You look away wondering what sign Negan was. How could you find out?

"He's so nice to look at though, what do you think?" Kevin asks.

Snapping out of your thoughts you glance towards Kevin in surprise.

"What?"

"Daryl, he's a real man. Look at those muscles and those damn arms." He lifts an eyebrow.

"Oh, uh no. I'm good." You shake your head.

You didn't realize Kevin was gay before, yes he was a little flamboyant but not like he was when it's just the two of you.

"No honey, you don't have to get with him. Its just looking, no touching." He eyes the redneck from across the store once again.

"No, he's a little to dirty for my taste." You think of Negan, his leather jacket hugging him perfectly. "I prefer my men clean and in leather." You smile towards the ground as if it were Negan asking you to undress.

"In leather? Damn girl, I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff." He smiles widely.

Embarrassment flushes your face as realization hits you, he thought you were into BDSM. You never done anything like it before, of course you're always open to trying anything with Negan.

"Hey don't worry girl, your secret is safe with me." He says nudging his elbow gently into your arm.

You smile, Kevin's a nice guy. He of course didn't know very much about you and where you're from but he really does seem to be very kind.

"Well I better find more stuff before the sexy redneck says I'm starting to slack." He winks before heading towards another aisle of the store.

David stumbles from the side of the left aisle with his arms filled with goods. Tripping on something he falls to the ground, his goods flying around the floor.

"Shhh." Daryl says in disappointment.

"Are you okay?" You whisper to the man on the floor.

"Fuck." He throws something from his shirt to the floor. "Yeah, I'm fine." He grumbles to himself.

David wanted Daryl to like him, that was obvious. He only wanted the man to tell him how well he was doing on these runs and the fact that he tripped over something and fell embarrassed him.

Daryl could have been nice enough to help him up.

"Here, let me help you." You insist, taking the backpack off of your back and placing it against the wall.

Crawling on all fours, you help pick up the cans from the ground.

"Thank you." David says, grabbing a few of the finding from the ground.

"You didn't have to help me." David comments.

"Of course I did. We're a team, and if none of these people who are supposed to be leading this team doesn't see that then they might need to reconsider their position." You say loud enough for Daryl to hear.

His footsteps approaching let's you know he heard your comment. He walks up and stops in front of you.

"You don't think I care about these people?" He asks.

Here we go.

Grabbing the last can from the ground, you stand and place the item into the bag.

"These people? What's his name?" You answers his question with a question. Pointing towards David, you grab his hand; helping him off the floor. "Huh, what's his name?" You ask again.

Daryl looks to David, his eyes roaming him up and down.

"You have no idea what his name is, how can you be a leader of this group and not know your own people's names?" You asks in disappointment.

Even Negan knew all the people's names within the Sanctuary.

"I'm too busy."

"Too busy? I bet that Negan guy knows all his people's names. I think he may be busier than you." You knew you should have held your tongue but it angered you so much that he would come up with such a lame excuse of being too busy to learn his group members names.

"The hell did you just say? You think Negan is a better man then me? He's a monster." Daryl growls.

"Monsters were all once good beings. Next time his guys come back we should see how they're treated. If Negan knows their name. I bet he does."

"If you love Negan so much maybe you should just go to the Sanctuary."

Believe me, I would.

"I bet that would make Rosita and you so much happy to have less people to deal with. Just so you know, people are still valid and we all need each other to lean on." You shout back before grabbing the heavy bag off the ground.

"We're not done yet." Daryl shouts back.

"Fine." Throwing the bag off your shoulders you walk out of the grocery store and outside.

You knew you were feeling like a kid throwing a tantrum but he had to know how he was treating his people. He looked at them as if they were one of the dead walking around, how could he just treat them all like trash?

Grabbing your hammer from your belt loop in case any of the dead were outside, walking to the car and climbing inside to sit in silence thinking of Negan.

You didn't want to do any of this anymore. You want to be with Negan, touch his large hands, place your hands on his handsome face and kiss his amazing lips.

Closing your eyes, you imagine yourself as if you were back in the Sanctuary. Laying in Negan's bed, his naked body pressed against yours.

A sound from outside causes you to open your eyes in caution. Noticing it was only Daryl made you wish you would have left the car and headed back to the Sanctuary.

He opens the door and glares towards you.

"What?" You ask, crossing your arms over your chest you wait for whatever shit he comes up with.

"Let's have a chat." He says.

"I'll take a raincheck. I would rather pull my eyes out of their sockets." You grumble.

"Am I really that bad?" He asks, a smirk appearing on his face.

Hold on, did he actually just smile at me? Did he fall in the store and land on his skull?

"Uh, you're a dick." You answer.

He chuckles. "Dixon trait." He gloats.

Gag me with a spoon, Dixon trait or not there was no time for his damn attitude. He doesn’t need to treat people the way he does.

"Whatever." You roll your eyes.

"Okay, fine. I know I'm an ass, I know I've been told enough times in my life but it’s the way I am." He tries to explain himself.

"Well maybe you need a characteristic development. Stop being an asshole to new people, treat people with kindness. Yada yada yada." You roll your eyes.

He chuckles again. "You're too much."

"Did you even listen to me?" You ask.

"Yeah, characteristic development, I'm an asshole. Yada yada yada." He smiles.

"Then take my suggestion. Work on it."

"I'll think about it."

"Think about it? Oh my God, you're such a guy."

"Thanks?" He chuckles.

"It wasn't a compliment." You roll your eyes again in irritation.

"Fine, I'll try my best. Happy?"

"Not until I see change." You answer.

"You're a character yourself." He smiles, taking a step closer to the car he lean in and eyes your entire body.

Oh hell no! This redneck better knock it off before I break his neck.

He was interested in you, eyeing all your goodies as if it were his last meal.

A chill reaches your back causing a shiver to run through your body.

"What's your astrological sign?" You ask.

"Uh." He look away from you and towards the grocery store as if the answer was written on the wall.

"I was born in early July. I'm not sure, why?" He asks.

"No reason. Just needed to check." You answer feeling a smile ready to grow upon your face.

"Okay, also I apologized to-" Stopping he tries to remember his name. "David." He remembers.

"Good. He's actually a nice guy, just wants you to like him." You begin.

"Right, I'll keep an open mind." He says. "Are we good?" He asks.

"For now." You answer.

"I'll take it." He smiles before closing the door to the car and heading back into the store.

Sitting in the car in silence you begin to laugh. Kevin was right, Daryl is a Cancer.


	16. The Arguing Never Stops

We arrive back to The Hilltop later when the sun is ready to set, they took longer when they found the pharmacy. Finally knowing who found the pills was a plus, you couldn't remember a time when you didn't take something for the headaches back in The Sanctuary.

Daryl ended up carrying the massively heavy bag and placed it in the trunk for safe keeping.

Climbing out of the car and through the lawn was like a family reunion for some of the people. Kevin hugged his sister, David kissed his wife, Michelle sat on her boyfriends lap, Daryl walked over to Carol and gave her a hug. Rosita and I headed opposite directions.

If Negan was here he'd probably grab you from the wrist, wrap his arms around you until his large hands were holding both ass cheeks and claim your lips in a breath taking kiss.

Just thinking about it makes you feel light headed with need from the man. It was only hours ago that you finger fucked yourself to the thought of him.

"Hey!" Bre shouts from the makeshift kitchen.

"Hey Bre." You smile, heading towards her the smell of the food causes your tummy to grumble with need.

"Thank goodness you all got back. We were worried about you." She smiles.

"They took longer then I thought they would." You shrug.

A normal run always took a long time, maybe you were just exaggerating because you hated every second of the godforsaken run.

"Well I made dinner tonight, my husband wasn't feeling so good. Take it while it's hot." She smiles pushing a plate towards you.

It had been a while since you've actually made a friend, the fact that New always makes sure you get the first plate was a dead ringer. Also that she was worried about you being gone was another hint that you've made a friend.

A smile reaches your lips as you lean over the table. Glancing to the food excited to see what she made, you notice beans, rice and what looks like beef chunks. It looks like heaven.

"Thanks Bre. I hope he starts feeling better." Taking the plate she continues to serve the others that formed behind you.

You were so hungry today you decide to eat it slowly, enjoy the meal she prepared and the amazing night out.

Taking a seat on the steps you eat in silence as you enjoy your meal. Today was definitely a day you wanted to end, it felt long from the heat and possibly all the arguing.

Placing the fork in your mouth and savoring the taste of the meal a pair of work out shoes stops by your right side. Eyeing the shoes whoever it was tied the bottoms of their pants with shoe laces.

Glancing up from the shoes you realize they belong to Daryl.

Again?

"For what do I owe the pleasure to see you twice in one day?" You ask placing your plate onto your lap and keeping the fork in your hand.

Daryl smiles towards you. His eyes roaming you before eyeing the food. "I just wanted to tell you that I think we all did a good job out there today."

You could fall over, you've never heard Daryl say more then two words together before or making caveman noises. Then to say lies about how amazing you all did out there, if you could laugh you would.

"Really? Cause I feel it could have gone better." You shrug. Forking your food from the plate you place the chunk of meat into your mouth.

"Well I guess we could try a little better next time." He adds.

"Work out the kinks." You agree with your mouthful.

"Kinks?" His eyebrow lifts.

"Daryl, please don't make me throw up, it would be a shame to waste such a good meal."

"Ouch." He takes a step back to eye you.

Please just go away. You murmur to yourself. Lifting your eyes you notice he was still there.

"Ugh, is there something else you need?" Yes you were being a bit rude but damnit you weren't some goddamn eye candy for him to just stare at. You want to eat in peace, for goodness sake.

He finds a small rock by his shoe, gently kicking it back and forth in the dirt he keeps his eyes on the rock then towards you.

He's a grown child, a little boy who was nervous to look his crush in the eyes.

"I just wanted to add I really would like you to remain on the team."

As if you were some kind of softball team.

"I would like to get to know you more." He adds after a fraction of a second.

Damn it, why was this happening to you? You were here for a job, not to find yourself a boy toy.

You've already got yourself a man like Negan back in the Sanctuary, what more could you ask for?

"Uh, we'll I do want to keep an open mind on the other jobs that I could choose from in here. So, I'll think about it." You stuff more food in your mouth to keep the curses from escaping.

"Alright." He must have liked your answers, since a grin appeared on his face before he walks off.

Finally some peace and quiet. Today just kept getting better and better, you think sarcastically to yourself.

Finishing off your meal, you head into the building and to your room. To your surprise no one had been inside your room to spy on you or check out any of your items. All of your things were left in the same spot you had left them.

Changing into your pj's to get comfortable for the night, just as you're about to climb onto the couch the door knocks.

Damn it, who could be bothering me now? You ask yourself.

Walking towards the door you open it to find Carol, a smile on her face.

"Sorry, I know you're probably ready to head for bed. I just wanted to tell you that I heard you did great out there today. Daryl said he liked the way you took charge of things."

Of course he did. Daryl really was a kiss ass.

"Oh, yeah. You know, I've been out there for so long. I kinda just take charge." You shrug not really knowing what to tell her.

"He also said that you want to see what else you could do around here." 

You nod.

"I'll talk to rick and see what he thinks." She says trying to sound like she's really on your side. You know she's still trying to catch you with your pants down or so to speak.

"Sweet, thanks."

"Well, I know you're ready for bed. I'll let you get to bed. Have a good night." She says giving you a light touch on the hand before walking off.

"Good night." You smile, closing the door you drop the fake smile and head towards the wardrobe. You needed to talk with Negan, tell him how your day went after you called him earlier.

Digging out the walkie, switching it on and climbing into the wardrobe, you sit comfortably as you press the bottom down to speak.

"Negan." You bite your lip waiting for him to answer.

"Hey doll, I'm surprised you're able to press the button. I thought your fingers would be sore." He starts into the Mic.

Rolling your eyes, you grin at his joke.

"Shut up." Imagining him smiling at you. "Listen a lot happened after our fun." 

"Do share." He says sounding closer to the Mic.

* * *

"Okay, let me get this straight. Rick and the other Apple fucking dumpling gang are giving you a chance to work along side some of the group. Making you haul heavy shit around like a fucking mule but Daryl has the hots for you therefore wanting to get to know you so he could continue working along side you?" He asks.

”Mmhm.”   
  
“I’m getting fucking whiplash just thinking about it.” He says.

"Exactly." You answer.

"You should do it."

"Come again?" You ask thinking you didn't hear him correctly.

"Doll, if you do this Daryl fucking Dixon will trust you. Which means he'll take you around and you'll find out who the goddamn mole is once and for all."

You understand that you have a job to fulfil and in your mind it was taking a bit longer then you liked but Negan is asking you to do something that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Get closer to Daryl, make it seem like you're interested in him just to get answers.

"Right, but what if he's expecting-"

"More?" Negan laughs into the Mic. "He doesn't have the balls. That I know for sure."

It still didn't make any sense to you on how Negan knew Daryl so well. You knew he knows about Rick and his son Carl because they've been a problem for him but Daryl?

"If I do this maybe I could find out some answers about Rick's son. I haven't seen him here." You speak out lot not realizing you pressed on the button.

"Doll, Carl died." He answers you.

Your heart drops, thinking about the first time you met Rick his face was filled with emotions. Rick looked like he was lost and had no idea what to do with himself. Your puzzle inside your head solves itself.

"How?" You ask wanting to know what happened. The kid looked fine when you saw him, he was strong. He showed no weakness.

"Rick said he was bit." Negan answer.

Bit? He was bit? Wait, did he just say Rick said?

"Hold on, you talked to Rick?" You ask.

"He called me on the walkie talkie himself."

"When?"

"Yesterday." Negan answers.

"When we're you going to tell me" you ask.

"What? Tell you that Carl died?" He asks in confusion.

"No, when were you going to tell me that you've talked to Rick."

He presses the button down on the walkie. "I didn't think you needed to know."

"So let me get this straight Doll." You mimick Negan. "You want me to call you everyday, let you know what's going on here but you want to keep the fact that you've talked to Rick fucking Grimes?"

"Doll, it wasn't a big deal."

How could he not think it wasn't a big deal? This was important information for you. Knowing Negan, he probably pissed Rick off which would lead Rick to wanting to kill any of the Saviors and if he magically found out you were a savior you would be number one on his hit list.

"Not a big deal? I'm living with them Negan of course it's a big deal."

"Doll, calm down. You're fine, I won't let anything happen to you. Just remember who you work for."

Remember who you work for.

"Right, well then I guess I'll just talk with Daryl and let him know that I'll continue working with him and maybe it wouldn't be a big deal if he and I get a little closet. Maybe I'll even make a move on him. You know, it's not really a big deal." You says knowing you were taking an issue a little farther.

"The hell you will." He growls. "You're mine, remember?"

"I never agreed on being your wife." With that you turn off the walkie and throw it to the side.

Climbing out of the wardrobe you begin to pace the floor thinking about how he kept you out of the loop. His words replaying over in your head. "Remember who you work for."

You chose to leave the sanctuary to become a spy for Negan. He never asked you to do it. You wanted to make all of it better for his damn sake, now he was trying to remind you that he's not only the man you're sleeping with but that he's your fucking boss.

Grumbling curse words to yourself you decide to head out of the room and to the bathroom where fresh water would cool you off.

Reaching the bathroom you try the door but realize it's locked.

Knocking on the door in irritation, you weren't in the mood to be nice at the moment. You're a boiling kettle needing to release your steam.

You're met with a loud growl from the other side of the door.

Was there a wild animal inside?

On the other hand you could care less of there was a wild animal inside the bathroom. You needed to splash water on your burning skin.

"Can you hurry up, there are others in this place." You blurt out.

A flush reaches your years which makes you a little happy that they decided to speed up in there but it would give you some time to clam yourself.

The bathroom door opens wide, Daryl meeting you face to face.

"Of fucking course it's you." You roll your eyes and grasp onto your hair and pull from the scalp.

"It's me." He looks to you trying to figure out why you're so angry. "I hope this is an emergency." Adds to you rushing him out of his restroom time.

"No, but you need to learn to speed it up in there." You walk inside and right back out. "Jesus, you could spray." You grimace at the reeking smell coming from inside the bathroom.

"You wanted me to get out." He answers.

"Go spray in there. I don't need to smell your filthy ass." You hiss.

He chuckles as he walks back inside the bathroom. He wasn't going to say it out loud but he did it on purpose. Be sprays something inside the bathroom and walks back out towards you.

"Better?" He asks.

"Yes, thank you." You roll your eyes. "We eat the same thing, I hope my ass doesn't smell like that."

"I eat squirrel." He answers.

"Ewe, that's even worse then i thought."

"Uh, hunter." He points to himself as if you were supposed to know he would eat random animals.

"Uh, city girl." You mimick his movement.

He smiles down towards you, possibly enjoying your attitude. Scratching the back of his head, possibly from the fleas he carries; that's when you realize he doesn't have his crossbow with him.

"Where's your crossbow?" You ask om wonder before.

Daryl blinks towards you in surprise that you could change your mindset that quickly.

"Uh, in the room. I didn't think I needed it while I was taking a shit." He smirks.

"Really? I always brought my weapons while I went to the restroom. It's when you're the most vulnerable, what if some of the dead came into the walls while you were taking a dump?" You ask pointing out that even though it was a secure place things could always happen.

He squints towards you; either from not thinking about a situation like that or that you've out smarted him?

"Anyway, I've been thinking about your offer." You let an exasperated sigh out of your lungs and into the air. Even though Negan pissed you off you were still going to do what he told you. Not because you work for him but because it was a good idea. "I think I'm going to tale it." You finish glancing towards him.

Daryl eyes begin to roam your body up to down before meeting your eyes again. Glancing down to yourself that's when you remember you're in your pj's; mini shorts and tank top.

Well shit, if he didn't like me before he most definitely does now.

"What changed your mind?" He asks avoiding glancing down to your body.

Or not?

Was Daryl Dixon avoiding your body because he didn't mean to roam your body the way that he did or was it because Daryl was a gentleman?

"I guess I just thought about it. I mean I enjoy being out in the open. I like the adrenaline I get when I think that something could be out there."

"That can be dangerous. Letting your adrenaline lead you." He says.

"Yeah, well I mean it's not the only reason I want to go out there." You shrug.

"Well whatever reason, was that what caused you to be so pissey when you came down and rushed me out of the bathroom?" He asks.

He did notice you were angry when you came down. Of course he would, looking down to your feet you clear your throat.

What were you supposed to say?

No, Negan and I were having a conversation and he pissed me the hell off. Something told you that wasn't the best answer.

"No, uh. Period."

He raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes in complete horror.

Perfect answer.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, that would be an emergency." He says. He looks towards the other end of the building before meeting your eyes once again. "Well I think having you with us is going to be a great addition to out team." He finishes.

You give a grin to the shaggy haired man. "Well thanks, I'm honored."

Daryl gnaws on his bottom lip as hid eyes roam your body once again. "We'll continue tomorrow." He says before starting to walk off.

"Tomorrow?" We don't get a day off?

"Mm, hmm. No one else is going to find stuff for us." He says walking off and up the stairs towards the room where you noticed Carol walk into before.

Rolling your eyes you head into the bathroom and sigh in defeat. You may not be as angry as you were when you came down here, but you use the water to relieve some of the tension.

Glancing to your wet face in the mirror you let out a sigh. "I guess we're going to have to get used to no rest." 


	17. Echoed Screams

Waking on the couch you sit up and stretch out your body, letting out a yawn you climb out of bed and begin to dress for the day.

The sun hasn’t rose outside which gives you a bit of relief, knowing it was a new day and that what happened yesterday with Negan was in the past.

Today was going to a better day then it was yesterday. You try to tell yourself as you finish dressing yourself and throwing your hair up in a ponytail.

Finishing you quickly open the wardrobe, eyeing the walkie laying on the bottom of the wardrobe you grab the bulky plastic and bury it in your backpack.

You may have been pissed but an error like leaving things like that out could be dangerous for you and a good lead for them.

Knowing all your things were put away you start towards the door, exiting the room you're met with Daryl exiting out of his room.

"Well well, what are the odds." You say quietly in case others were still asleep.

"What are you doing awake?" He asks.

"Kinda just woke up." You answer with a shrug not thinking too much about it. "What about you Daryl? Why are you awake so early?" You ask.

"Well I was going to head out and hunt for some breakfast." He says.

"Hunt." You've never seen someone actually hunt before, just the thought of something different strikes an interest in your head. "Uh. Could I join you?"

He chuckles. "You want to join me on a hunt?" He asks.

"What's so funny, you don't think i would like to check it out?" You ask.

"Well you did just call yourself a city girl last night after I told you that I eat squirrel."

He had you there.

"Yeah, okay. Well I think it would be good for me to learn things like this." You answer.

"You want to learn." He nods once before eyeing you. "Okay, I'll teach you. Just promise me you won't be loud out there."

"You won't even notice that I'm with you." You answer.

"Alright, lets go." He says starting down the stairs.

Following behind him, he tightens his grip on his crossbow when you both make it down the stairs and towards the door.

Walking out with Daryl, you're met with the chill of the morning. Continuing towards the gates, they open when one of the men notices Daryl.

"You have yourself a shadow." The man says towards Daryl.

Daryl nods before glancing behind himself to look to you. You didn't know if it was a bad thing to be called Daryl's shadow. Honestly he was teaching you something that could always come in handy if you ever found yourself out in the open again.

"Quick step." He says towards you as he Quickens his walk and leaves the safety of the large walls.

Following behind you both start into the field in front of the walls that lead into the woods.

He turns towards you when the both of you walk into the first row of trees.

In the quietest of whispers he begins to speak to you. "Just follow me, keep your eyes on me and I'll show you how I make a trap from natures items and maybe I'll be able to show you how to shoot something."

A trap from nature’s items? What does that mean? You want to ask but instead you nod and follow behind.

His steps are quieter then before when your both further into the woods. Making sure to follow his exact foot pattern; you make no sound as you walk behind him.

He raises his hand to stop you from taking another step, he points to the far distance where one of the dead stands by a tree.

Daryl points towards the other side silently letting you know to follow him so the dead wouldn't see you both.

Following silently behind, he leads you towards a clearing. Continuing to step in his footsteps he points again towards a tree where a squirrel is eating.

Aiming his crossbow he shoots the squirrel directly in the eye. The squirrel landing on the ground with a small thud.

You try too keep your discomfort in an adorable animal dying in such a way and try to think of it as the only way to survive.

Silently telling you to grab the squirrel, you start to the dead animal on the ground. Making eye contact with the dead animal , Your stomach which is in disgust.

From behind you you’re a silent chuckle. Quickly glancing back your met with a laughing Daryl.

Shooting daggers towards him you grab the end of the arrow and lift the dead squirrel from the ground.

Walking back To Darrell, you offer the squirrel to him in anger.

"Hey, it’s part of the job. You didn’t think I was going to laugh at you when you pick it up for the first time?”

Well, I thought you would have at least told me what you were expecting me to do.”

“Shhh, quiet down Ace.” He shushes you before looking around. “Don’t want that walker to hear you.”

You almost forgot about it, placing your hand over your mouth; you silently apologize.

“Just keep the volume down, Ace.” He smiles.

Ace? Where did this nickname come from? He’s never said it before.

Could this be the connection Negan wants Daryl and you to gain? Was Daryl really starting to trust you?

Were you starting to trust Daryl?

Nodding, you try to keep the thoughts of Negan and the job he wants you to do. Moving your eyes around the woods, you keep a look out for any sign of threat.

Daryl ushers you further into the woods, you both continue until you come across a trap with a dead rabbit.

“Looks like Rabbit is on the menu tonight.” He whispers.

It now made sense what Daryl meant by natures items, the entire trap was made by tree branches. In awe of his handy work, you glance towards Daryl realizing he wants you tograb the rabbit.

Stepping towards the rabbit, you notice Daryl signaling towards you to loosen the string from the rabbits neck.

"Seriously?” You question in the quietest whisper.

He nods quickly as he grabs a string from his belt loop and ties it around the squirrel’s neck.

Grabbing the dead rabbit, you hand it to Daryl and watch him tie the string around it’s neck.

“You need a bag.” You whisper grimacing.

“What for? Blood will stain the damn thing anyway.” He shrugs.

He was right but it would still look better then having to see the dead animals hanging from their necks.

You nod silently deciding to keep quiet. The blood would probably attack the dead and it wouldn’t be a very good idea.

Glancing behind Daryl, you notice the dead that was further earlier. He must have heard you, he slowly makes his way towards the both of you.

Whistling towards Daryl, he glances towards you before you nod your head to silently tell him to turn around.

He turns and notices the dead coming closer once he realizes that we in fact weren’t the dead as well.

“Hell we ain’t done yet.” He says loading up his crossbow and aiming it at the dead.

Without any hesitation he shoots the thing dead.

“Nice shot.” You compliment.

“I better be.” He comments.

You roll your eyes, why couldn’t he just take a compliment and go on? Was it that hard for him to except that he’s actually good at something?

“Come on, we got more hunting to do.” He says making sure you follow close behind.

* * *

Half hour passes by, Daryl taught you how to shoot a fast moving animal, how to make a trap and how to gut the carcass.

He was a really good teacher, of course you wouldn’t tell him that since he would probably tell you he had to teach you or there was a better teacher out there.

“So you think you could do it on your own next time?” He asks with a small smirk upon his lips.

“I could sure as hell try but it wouldn’t be great.” You answer matching his smirk. “Too bad we couldn’t find a deer.” You add.

“Calm down Ace. You just learned how to hunt, you’re not ready for that yet.”

He’s right again, imagining yourself trying to haul the large animal back to the hilltop brings a smile to your face.

“Still would’ve been cool.” You add quietly.

The sound of screaming from the distance makes Daryl and you stop in the middle of your steps and to listen closely.

“That’s coming from the Hilltop.” Daryl says before sprinting.

Trying to follow close behind and as quick as you could, Daryl and you finally reach the end of the woods but are met with the beginning of the field.

You notice a couple large trucks inside the open gates, recognize the trucks you knew it was The Saviors.

“They’ve already been here his week, what else could they want?” He asks panting for breath.

“I’m not sure?” You answer his question with a question.

You both continue towards the edge of the field until Daryl stops in his tracks and lists his hand so you wouldn’t run into him.

“What?” You ask in wonder.

“We need to go through the back.” He says pulling back from the street and leading towards the side of the large gates.

You remain in the same spot trying to figure out what he was talking about. How could you enter the Hilltop from the back?

Daryl must have noticed that your loud steps weren’t following behind, he turns to look to you. “Trust me.” He says gently.

The inner war inside your head pleads with you to follow Daryl and the other side is telling you to use the front gate. You of course trust Daryl, you knew he had a good heart and he just wants all the good to happen with his group.He was nice with you, he trusts you.

You were a savior, you weren’t one of his group members. He gave his trust to you blindly.

“I...” you stop and glance towards the front gate.

He comes back to you, grabbing your hand he pleads with you. “Trust me.” He begs.

Letting him pull you with him he leads you to the side of the gate and towards the back. Bushes and trees lead you towards the back of the Hilltop, the sound of guns cocking stops the both of you.

“It’s us.” Daryl says.

Realization hits when you notice Rick and the others were out here as well.

“It’s Daryl.” Rosita says.

“What’s happening?” Daryl asks.

“The Saviors.” Michonne answers.

“Weren’t they just here?” You ask glancing towards Michonne then towards Rick.

“Something tipped them off.” Rick comments then curses under his breath.

Damn it, so close to finding out who the mole was. This wasn’t the right time to learn who the mole was, you knew you need to get your ass in those walls.

You wanted to get inside, maybe they’ll see you and think you were with them the entire time. You needed to know why the hell they were here.

“How do I get inside?” You ask taking a step towards the wall and trying to figure out how they all got out here without being seen.

“Don’t, they have everyone round up like cows in there.” Carol says.

“They don’t know me.” You add.

“They don’t know me, they don’t know her. They don’t know any of us. It’s not like they won’t shoot you dead just because you weren’t in the circle.” Rosita comments taking a step towards you.

“Calm down.” Daryl says pushing himself in the middle of Rosita and you.

“She acts like she can just march right in there and be unharmed. Why do you need to get in there so badly?” She ignores Daryl and continues.

“Cause I can find out what they’re doing here. Like I said before, they don’t know me.” You growl.

“It’s too risky.” Daryl says.

“I’ll take that risk.”You answer Daryl.

Daryl turns towards Rick. Rick nods towards Daryl and tells Rosita to take a few steps back. She rolls her eyes and walks back into the group.

Maggie walks up towards you and guilds you towards a secret escape hatch. She takes a step to the side as you start to sneak inside.

Daryl grabs you by the wrist before you have a chance to get inside.

“If it gets dangerous in there find your way out.” He says.

Nodding he lets go of your wrist, sneaking inside the the walls.


	18. Here For You

Reaching inside the Hilltop, the sound of Saviors shouting reaches your ears. The words they are shouting don’t form into coherent words from where you were but you knew they were located by the front of the gates. Walking further inside the yard, you try to keep a low profile keeping close to the building. You take your gun out from the back of your pants and walk closer towards the front.

If someone with the Saviors were to find you they would know exactly who you are and think you’re helping round up anyone else from The Hilltop. 

You couldn’t believe Negan had the Saviors come back so quickly, what did he want now? What else does he need from these people?

Thinking about the argument you had with Negan you try to shake the thought out of your head. He couldn’t be that angry with you that he sent the Saviors here to punish the rest of the innocent people. Could he?

Finding yourself walking towards the side of the main building, your eyes get a glimpse of a large group of the Hilltop residents standing by the makeshift kitchen.

“You can cry and beg for your lives, but we won’t leave until one of you tells us where Rick is!” Simon’s voice echos the front area.

They were looking for Rick, it doesn’t make sense. Negan knows Rick and the others are living here. Why would he send the Saviors out here to find him now?

This wasn’t like Negan.

Walking to the front of the building, with your gun in hand. You continue towards the door, one of the Saviors noticing you and giving you a nod of acknowledgement.

Entering the building, you find it empty. Not taking any chances you continue to walk around the building, sweeping every room for any sort of trouble.

Reaching the office, you push gently on the door opening it slowly. Peeking inside you see legs resting along the desk.

Pushing the door further, you’re met with Negan.

“Hiya Doll.” He says so calmly it brings a chill to your spine. “Say, what’s with the gun?” He asks.

“Just a precaution.” You answer.

“You weren’t planning on using it on me?” He asks placing his gloved hand on his chest for emphasis that he was talking about himself.

Rolling your eyes, you put the safety on the gun before placing it back into the waistband of your pants.

“You wish.” You answer. “So, now that you’ve got the whole Hilltop by the front of the gates and all the Saviors with them. Let’s have a chat.” You give him a small smile.

“Let’s.” He moves from his seat and slowly walks towards you with Lucille in hand.

“I heard Simon out by the front asking for Rick. You know he’s here, you’ve known he’s been here. What’s changed?”

“I’m not here for Rick.” He says.

What?

“You’re not?” You ask. It didn’t make any sense. “Then are you here about the mole?”

“No.” He shakes his head.

Then what? Wasn’t this the mission all long?Come to the Hilltop, find the mole and get the hell out. What was he really here for?

What did he need?

He knows Rick lives here, hiding from him and the rest of the Saviors. He didn’t care about Rick enough to leave the safety of the Sanctuary.

The realization hits you like a freight train, the distraction wasn’t to find any of Rick’s men or the mole.

Negan was here for you.

“Of course you’re not. You’re here for me.” You cross your arms over your chest.

“I missed you.” He says stopping by your side and giving a devilish smile.

“I’m sure you did.”

“Don’t tell me you’re still angry about our little fight?” He asks looking down towards you, biting his bottom lip.

Rolling your eyes you decide to keep your mouth shut, you didn’t want to bring it up.

Negan glances towards the open door and eyes you once again. “Where were you when we came in?” He asks.

“I was out.” You answer plainly.

“Come on Doll, you got to give me a better answer then that.” He walks towards the door to close it to make the room more private.

“I was out hunting.” You add.

Negan stops with his hand on the door, glances towards you once again; his eyes filling with anger.

“Hunting with who?” He asks with a growl.

“I think you might already know.” You answer walking further into the office. Negan slams the door shut and grabs you by your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

Pulling you back towards him, you’re met with his eyes red with anger. “Are you fucking him?” He asks.

“You’ve got to be kidding?” You ask almost laughing at the thought.

Negan’s grip on your wrist tightens showing you how serious he in fact is. Trying to wiggle your wrist out of his grasp, the pain from the grip halting your struggle.

“You better loosen your grip, you’re hurting me.” You growl.

“Answer me!” Negan shouts.

“No, I’m not fucking Daryl.” You answer matching his tone.

“I don’t fucking believe you.” He says, his hands moving up until their holding tightly on each of your upper arms. “You let him put his redneck hands and disgusting dick inside of you!”

“I didn’t.” You try to answer.

“How hard is it for you to remember that you’re mine?” He shouts

“And how hard is it for you to remember that I never agreed to be your wife?” You shout back.

“The first time you fucked me was the day you became mine, you claimed me as yours remember?” He keeps his hands tight on you. “So the fucking road goes both ways Doll, you’re mine.” He grabs you by the back of your head, pulling tightly into the fistful of your hair. With the pain from your scalp pulling you towards him claiming your lips with his.

He pulls back, looking into your face. Pulling tightly on your hair, he pulls rough enough that your neck bends back; exposing your entire throat.

“I want you to remember who you belong to while I punish you.” He growls, leading you towards the desk. “Take off your fucking pants and bend over the goddamn table.”

“I-“

“Do what I said!” He shouts letting go of your hair and pushing you against the desk.

This wasn’t exactly what you expected, you imagined talking with Negan in a normal tone of voice. 

Never did you imagine Negan being the jealous type. Someone so sure of themself, womanizer and very outgoing. It was all wrong, Negan wasn’t wired this way, he wasn’t a jealous man.

Eyeing Negan, you kick off your shoes, turn around so he only could see the back of you. Unbuttoning and unzipping the denim, you begin to pull them down. The cool air from the room greeting your ass, glancing over your shoulder slightly Negan is taking advantage of the view of your perfectly round ass.

He wasn’t a jealous man, he was claiming his property like you had all those months ago. He wants you to remember even though other men are interested, nothing could ever come to their desire; you belonged to another.

Lacing your fingers around the material of your thong panties, you pull them down slowly. Easing the pants and panties down your legs.

Negan steps on the clothes in the middle of your legs. He was helping you remove the last of the clothes from your legs. Stepping out of the jeans and panties, Negan kicks the material to the side.

“Now the shirt.” He orders.

Lifting the shirt, you toss the shirt into the pile of denim.

“Bra.” He adds.

Unclasping the bra, pulling the straps down your shoulders you ease the brassiere from your body. Tossing the material behind yourself.

Negan catches the bra within his hands, a deep growl coming from within him causes a shiver to run down your spine. You were completely naked inside the office that Rick and the others had once interrogated you.

The safe haven Ricks people fled to now covered with Saviors and the leader inches behind you as he plans on fucking you.

“I hope you know, I’m not going to be gentle.” He says inches from your left ear.

“Do what you must.” You reply.

“I thought I fucking told you to bend over.” He spits the words out like venom.

Negan’s hand grasps into your hair and slams your head to the desk. Bending you over the desk with a fresh pounding to your head echoing, the pain from your head sounding like a heartbeat.

You didn’t know if you were supposed to speak, the pounding for your head causes a wave of dizziness. If it weren’t from you being forced to bend over the desk and his large hand keeping your head flat on the table, you would have fallen to the ground from the room spinning in circles.

“You’re gonna take what’s given to you, you’re not allowed to cum until I let you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” He asks spanking your ass so hard it echos the room.

“Yes, yes sir.” You answer with a shaky voice.

He doesn’t answer you. The familiar sound of his belt jingles from behind you, the button and zipper next. Listening carefully, Negan begins to pump his cock from behind you.

His other hand smacks your ass before plunging two fingers inside your tight heat. The pace of his hand was brutal, fingers pumping inside of you incredibly fast.

“You’re not even wet.” He says pulling his fingers out and sucking them to get them wet with his saliva. “Not even turned on by me anymore?”

“Shut the fuck up, you asshole.” You growl turning to glance towards him.

He spanks you hard once again. His hands leaving a welt on your ass cheek. “Don’t you disrespect me when I’ve got your pretty little pussy out on display. I can make you regret saying a single word since you’ve walked in this fucking room.” He spanks you once again, this time his hand landing so close to your clit.

“Ah, you play dirty.”

“When have I ever played it any differently?” He asks, he strokes his cock from behind you. The sound of his fist working his cock bringing a hint of anticipation.

Without another word, Negan slams into you without any warning. His massive girth filling you to the brim. A slight burn from the unexpected intrusion brings an uncomfortable moan to escape.

Negan normally would wait for you to get used to his size but today was different. He was angry with you for something that never happened. He wants to make it hurt so he could remind you who you belong to.

Negan begins a brutal pace that has you grabbing onto the table for leverage, his left hand pulling the roots of your hair. He pants from behind you like a thirsty dog.

“Fucking take this thick cock, you dirty fucking slut.” He grunts. Lifting his right hand, he spanks youhard causing a groan to escape your mouth.“You like that don’t you filthy bitch. I bet Daryl never fucked you this good.” He rotates his hips, finding your g-spot dead on.

“Fuck, Negan.” You moan, clinging onto the table. His pace causing you to move up on the table.

“You don’t deserve to feel this good.” He says. Pulling out of you he turns you around, the hand in your hair pushing you down to your knees. “Open your mouth bitch.” He says in a deep growl.

Following his order, you open your mouth. He shoves his cock into your mouth, his left hand gripped in your hair pushes and pulls your head along the length of his cock.

This was the first time you’ve gave Negan oral sex, of course you thought it would be on different terms.

You’ve always imagined Negan driving one of the trucks and you sitting in the passenger seat, your thoughts drifting off to a naughty place and unzipping his pants to pleasure him while he drove.

You always wondered if he would drive the car faster or he would slow down to a stop, so he could watch you suck his dick.

Negan slams his hips into you, your nose smashing against the pubic hair. His cock hits the back of your throat causing you to gag.

“Take it in deep.” He says smashing his pubic bone into your nose, his cock resting at the back of your throat.

You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think of anything but needing oxygen to fill your lungs again.

“Fuck, the way your throat contracts around my cock.” He says pulling out, a large amount of saliva dripping from the base of his cock.

Keeping his grip on your hair, he pulls you up and eyes your teary eyes. “Filthy bitch.” He says slapping your cheek hard, if it weren’t from his hand gripping your hair; you would have lost your balance.

“Who do you belong to?” He asks.

“You.” You answer quietly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Try it again.” He says. “Who do you belong to?”

“You!”

“Who?”

“You Negan, I belong to you.” You answer with a shout.

“I still don’t think you get it.” He says, pushing you down onto the the table he enters you in one swift movement.

He continues the first rapid pace, his hands moving down to your hip as he slams into you. He growls a couple times meeting your stare, you could see it on his face that he was pissed.He thought you cheated on him with Daryl, you wish he would have only believed you.

“Dirty bitch.” He says smacking you in your face hard.

The pain was tolerable, this time. He works into you with force, his hips slamming into you over and over leaving you breathless.

“I haven’t told you to cum yet. You need to wait.” He slaps you once again. “You hear me?” He slaps the other cheek with his left hand.

He’s never laid a hand on you before today, he was always gentle. This was different, something unfamiliar. It was starting to scare you.

“Yes.” You nod quickly.

“Fucking bitch.” He shouts before moving his hand to your throat. His fist grasping hard on your throat causing you to lose your breath.

Negan was choking you, he continued to wreck your pussy while he tightens his grasp on your airway.

“You think you could just get with another man? You think you could fuck Daryl and I wouldn’t find out about it?” He tightens his grip on your throat.

Was this the way you were going to die? You wonder to yourself no longer feeling the pleasure of his cock ramming into you. You were afraid for your life, was Negan that angry that he would kill you?

“Look at me.” He slaps you with his free hand.

Eyeing him with your teary eyes, Negan’s face fills with anger. “You belong to me. Everything you do is for me, everything you say is for me. You’re mine and no one else can have you, they can fucking look at you but touch you they most certainly fucking won’t. I will not stand for anyone even laying a damn finger on you.If Daryl touches you, he’s fucking dead. He tries to make a move on you, he’s worm food. You understand?” He asks.

You try to answer but the tightness of his hand around your throat keeps you from getting a single noise out.

“Fucking answer me, bitch.” He shouts slapping you once again.

You could only imagine what you look like, cheeks red from his gloved hands, tears stains along your cheeks and face purple from lack of air.

“Yus.” You croak out from the tight grip. Negan throws you down on the table, removing his hand from your neck. You gasp out for the needed air, your head spinning from the lack of oxygen.

He growls as he pounds into you, grabbing your hips he tries to slam deeper into you. Negan then slows his pace before leaning towards you and beginning to whisper.

“I hope you know this change things.” Continuing the slow shallow pace, he keeps his eyes on you.

What did he mean? What’s going to change? You wonder.

Was Negan going to punish you differently then he was doing now? Was he going to hurt Daryl?

Just imagining Negan hurting Daryl over some false accusations grew a large bundle of fear for the redneck you’ve come to actually like. Yes he was annoying as hell but he was a nice guy.

Kinda.

“Not going to ask?” He asks.

“Whatever it is, it means I have no other choice.” You answer, your voice sounding as if you have a frog in your throat. He must have really hurt your voice box.

“You’re damn right Doll, no other choice.” He smiles before slamming into you over and over again.

Negan was only trying to get a rise out of you, like he does with everyone else. He knew better then to try it with you, it never really worked because you trust him, he would never really hurt you.  


You know he runs things a certain way because he knows it works and he says things because it will piss people off. Which he enjoys.

Negan eyes you, a groan escaping his mouth as he watches your tities bounce from the pace of his hips. “Damn baby. Even when I’m mad at you I can’t fucking think straight because of how fucking beautiful you truly are.” He grunts.

The asshole knows how much you enjoy him worshiping you while having sex. He was trying to get you close to the edge.

You want to smile but stop when you feel a slight bit of pain in your cheek. Negan could fuck you silly and punish you like the bad girl you’ve been but he could never finish without feeling you cum all over his cock.

He trails his eyes towards the sight of your connected bodies, a small moan of need escaping his lips. He was becoming needy, he needed you to cum. Wanted to feel you squeeze him until he blew his load inside of you.

“Fuck. Please tell me your close.” He says not really asking a question.  


He was begging.

Weren’t you supposed to be the one begging?

You shake your head knowing it will cause him to go wild.

Negan pulls out of you and goes to his knees. His tongue licking your clit, he hums at the taste of you and begins to devour your pussy like it was his last meal.

The twinge of needing to cum forms in your lower belly, glancing down to watch him eat you out. His nose resting on the top of your fupa, tongue dipping deep inside your core.

“Shit.” You moan.

He groan knowings he’s got you right where he wants you, pulling back he licks his lips clean from your juices. “Do you want to cum?” He asks.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” You give him a smirk.

“Naughty girl wants to give me attitude.” He spanks you once again. His hand landing on your clit causing a desire to cum.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, you liked that didn’t you. You like when I’m rough with you.” He smacks it again causing another cursed moan to escape your mouth .

Negan leans in towards you mound, sucking the clit into his mouth; he pulls you closer towards the edge of ecstasy.

Loud moaning comes from your rough voice, you couldn’t control your need. “Fuck, please. Please Negan.”

“What did I tell you?” He asks smacking your clit again.

“Fuck!” You cry. “Sir, please sir. I need to cum.” You answer correctly.

“Not on my lips your not. If your gonna cum, you’re coming on my cock.” He says pulling away from you and standing until his needy red cock eases into your soaked pussy.

“Fuck baby, your dripping.” He says pulling out and watching the opaque fluids coating his massive girth. “Who can make you this wet?” He ask placing his hand gently on your fupa, his thumb circling over your swollen nub.

“You sir.” You answer panting with need.

“Who’s the only man who can fuck you this good?” He asks pounding into you faster that you could hardly breathe.

“You sir.” You answer breathlessly.

“Who do you only cum for?”

“You sir!”

“That’s what I fucking thought, cum for me.” He says your name in a plea.

The coil within your tummy breaks, opening your mouth a silent scream escapes your mouth. He continued to pound into you while you cum, the sound of your bodies slapping against one another echo the room. 

“Fuck.” He says continuing the pace.

A splash of liquid pours from you, as if that was your bodies cue you catch your breath and moan loudly.

“Fuck baby!” Negan shouts slamming into you one last time before pumping his load into your contracting pussy.

Negan rests his head against your sweaty neck, his heavy breathing warming your already hot body. 

You don’t know how long the two of you lay in the position, it was comforting. Having Negan so close to you after missing him for so long.

Negan pulls out, fixing his pants and belt he smiles at the mess you made. “I didn’t know you could squirt.” He gives you a wink.

“Either did I.” You answer matching his smile.

“I’m gonna look like I’ve pissed myself.” He laughs, glancing up from his pants he eyes your face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just-“

“I know-“

“Doll, there’s no excuse for me hitting you like that and look at your goddamn neck.” He says surprised at how quick a bruise was beginning to form.

“It will heal.”

“Fuck, I will never do that to you again.” He makes a promise to himself. “I’m fucking sorry Doll.”

“I’m fine. Well, now.” You answer trying to make your voice sound as clear as possible but it still ends up squeaking.

“You didn’t-“ he stops himself before asking the question. Anger beginning to rise from behind his eyes.

“No, I didn’t.” You answer. Reaching towards him Negan glances towards the wrist he grabbed, his eyes widening at the red bruise forming there too.

“I was just so-“

“Jealous, admit it Negan. You were jealous.”

“Hell yeah I’m fucking jealous, Doll. You’re my girl and I love you.” He grabs your wrist gently and kisses the forming bruise, trying his hardest to fix his mistakes.

“I’m jealous too, but I have to share you. It’s just the way it is-“ Negan silences you with a gentle kiss. Pulling back you meet his eyes.

“I said things are going to be different.” He begins. “I made a decision while I was on my way here.” He stops and kisses the bruise on your neck.

“And what’s that?” You finally ask.

He pulls back and licks his bottom lip. He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “After you find out who the mole is, you’ll no longer be a savior.” He answers.

He knew what this job was for you, he knew how much you enjoy to be out in the open and seeing the other outposts.  


How could he do this to you?

“Why? Negan I love being a savior, this isn’t fair.”

“Well I’m not going to have my wife in danger.” He says softly.

_ Wife? He was going back to this again?  _

How many times were you going to have to tell him no? You didn’t want to be another addition to his weird collection.

“Negan.”

“I’m not asking you now, maybe in the future. I know how you feel about all of it.” 

You nod and try to keep your head from shaking. He wasn’t going to let no be the answer again, he was going to wait. Hopefully patiently.

“So, how are we going to do this?” You ask changing the subject. You were curious to find out how you were going to get out of the building with Negan. Somebody had to have seen you.

“I’ll leave the room, go and talk to my guys. Maybe shoot a few people-“

“No, you’re not hurting anyone.” You shake your head. “I mean if you’re going to shoot anyone, kill that bastard Gregory.” You suggest.

He chuckles. “That bad?”

  


“Come on Negan, you know him. He’s a spineless asshole.”

“He would be a good target practice for my guys.” He smirks. “Maybe you need the practice more than they do.” He shrugs.

“I would gladly kill the bastard but I’m supposed to be miss Goody two shoes, happy to be around others and learning how to work as a team.”

“Load of bullshit Rick’s got you doing.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” You roll your eyes.

“Back to the plan. I’ll head out and make a scene out there. Scare those bastards a bit and leave.” He shrugs.

“They think you want Rick.”

“None of them will give Rick up; they like the bow legged bastard.” Negan says glancing towards your naked body.

Glancing down towards yourself you decide to get dressed, gathering your clothes you begin to dress.

“They won’t even realize you were in here.” Negan says smacking your ass.

“What do I tell Rick and the gang?”

“You should see the other guy.”Negan chuckles.

“I’m serious, Daryl is going to ask me what happened.”

“Improvise Doll, create something and go with it.” He pulls you towards him once you’re finished dressing. “I won’t get that rough again.” He says glancing towards your neck.

“It was different. Thinking about it now, I kinda liked the hate fuck.” You try to reassure him.

“First and last time Doll.” He starts towards the door. 

Following him you grab his hand before he could walk out of the room. “Not yet.” You whisper grabbing him and wrapping your arms around him. Negan wraps his arms around you, laying his chin on the top of your head.

You missed being this close to him. Within his arms, the smell of his cologne and leather, his heart beating into your ear as you rest your head on his chest. If this is what a simple life was, you wanted it.

All in time.

“I miss this.” He says into your hair.

“Me too.” You answer. “I don’t want to let go yet.”

“I’ll give you a few minutes. The Saviors are gonna be getting impatient.” He answers.

“They can eat my ass.”

Negan pulls back to look at you, a wide smirk on his lips. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of shit.” He jokes.

“I’ll try anything once.” You answer with a smile, raising to your tip toes you give him a quick kiss on his lips.

“That’s my girl.” He leans in claiming your lips in a deep kiss. 

Pulling back for breath, Negan looks to you something so gentle in his stare causing butterflies to fly rapidly in your stomach.

The feeling is too much to handle, your heart feels as if it were going to burst through your chest. 

“I love you.” You admit. Finally saying those words to Negan face to face felt so different then the walkie talkie confession. 

Negan’s face fills with a bright smile, eyes roaming over your face as he admires your true feelings.

“I love you too, Doll.” He answers softly, leaning in he kisses you gently before pulling back. “I better head back home before some of those assholes burn the place down.”

You smile. You let him go, dropping your arms to your side as he starts towards the door again.

Negan opens the door, stopping to glance towards you again. “Do me a favor, find that damn mole already.” He smirks.

“I’m on it.”

“See you later Doll.” He says.

“Hopefully sooner more then later.” You answer as he winks towards you and leaves you alone in the room.


	19. Second Chance

Remaining in the office room, Negan leaves the Hilltop without making a fuss with any of the innocent people. 

The first sign of the Saviors leaving the walls causes a feeling of panic to rise, you needed to figure out how you were going to tell the others why you weren’t dead but beaten to shit.

Glancing around the room you know exactly what to do, trashing the room was the only way to make your story believable.

Tossing the desk items to the ground, dropping a couple books from the bookshelf and knocking a chair to its side would make it look like there was a fight in this very room.

To sell the story, you lay down on the ground by the desk.   


The saviors ran into you, kicked your ass a bit and left you in the room for dead. Hopefully Daryl and the others would buy your perfect lie.

Closing your eyes, you remain on the ground listening to the others outside the wall talking in panicked voices.

Some people wondering why the Saviors came back, what they were really here for and why Negan came in and left everyone alive.

Remaining on the ground with your eyes closed, you hear Rick’s people talking from outside the building.

The sound of Daryl calling your name from the main hall in the building causes your stomach to flip with nervousness.

What if he didn’t believe you?

Seconds pass after Daryl called your name, the door to the office room opens wide. Daryl gives out a small gasp when he notices you on the ground.

He reaches your side in two quick strides, kneeling by your shoulders he checks your pulse quickly before he picks you up slightly so your back and shoulders rest on his chest.

“Wake up.” He says in a sweet whisper.

He pulls you tighter to his body, the worry clear in his voice. “Come on, wake up.” He says a little louder and trying to shake you gently.

Choosing this was the perfect moment, you slowly open your eyes and grimace in pain.

“Mmm.” You moan in pain.

“Hey, shh. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” Daryl says quietly. “Didn’t I tell you to get the hell out when the first sign of danger arises?”

“I tried.” Your voice still sounds hoarse from Negan’s murderous grip.

The sound of the others walking into the room causes Daryl to turn his attention from you and towards the door. Daryl lifts his hand signaling that it was safe.

Rick walks in first, gun in hand. His eyes roaming around the office area. 

“Shit.” He says turning towards Daryl he eyes your bruised body. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I-“ you stop from the pain in your voice box. Trying to clear your voice, you begin to speak but find it sounding worse. Perfect for your story. “I remember waking in, a short haired bitch sucker punched me.” You begin.

You were describing Arat, one of the female saviors you had a problem with while you were back in the Sanctuary.

“I think I know who you’re talking about.” Rick says.

“She got me in the gut, I remember the gasp of air I had from the blow. I fell back into the door before some asshole came in to help her out.” You answer.

Daryl lifts your chin to glance at the marking left on your throat. The sound of a deep growl escapes from deep within the redneck man. “He fucking choked you.” He grumbles.

“Did they say what they’re here for?” Rick asks before you get to answer Daryl. Turning towards the leader you try to nod but the pain stops you.

“Yeah, you.” You answer.

Rick glances away from Daryl and you towards someone behind the door. The door widens as Michonne walks further into the room.

“We need to warn the others. The Saviors are trying to find any of us with the group, they won’t stop with this place. They’ll head towards The Kingdom next.”

“I’ll have a talk with Carol, have her take a trip to The Kingdom and talk with Ezekiel.”

You knew the Kingdom sounded familiar to you, when they said Ezekiel’s name it was a dead ringer. Of course they know “The King”.

“She ain’t going alone.” Daryl says to Rick and Michonne.

The words leave your lips before you even have time to process what you were saying.

“I’ll go.”

All three of them turn to glance towards you.

It was the perfect plan, offering to leave with Carol in the condition that you’re in was going to be passed as crazy. You knew the people over in The Kingdom and they knew you as a Savior. What would they do when they recognize you?

It was perfect, they would only refuse your request.

“No you ain’t.” Daryl growls.

“Why?” You ask trying to sound as if you were upset about missing out on something else.

“You need to stay here, you’re hurt and frankly I think you’ve hit your head.” Rick says.

“We’ll have our doctor check you out.” Daryl says gently.

“I need to help.” You try to explain.

“Nah, you’ve helped enough. Let someone else deal with The Kingdom.” Daryl answers.

Crossing your arms over your chest acting as if you’re upset about not getting your way.

“Ask Tara, she’ll go.” Rick pipes up turning towards Michonne.

Michonne nods and walks out to find Carol and Tara.

“Let’s get you to the doc.” Daryl says helping you onto your feet. Daryl eyes you making sure you could stand on your own. “Can you walk?” He asks.

“Of course I can.” You answer. Taking a step you loose your balance, reaching out Daryl grabs you righting your stance and giving you a look. “Or not.” You answer feeling your face flush.

Daryl throws his crossbow around his back and grabs you, pulling you into his arms. He carries your bridal style out of the office room and out the building towards the infirmary.

“I’m fine Daryl, really.” You try to fight the fact that he’s taking you to the infirmary .

“The hell you are, you haven’t seen your face.”

My face? Did Negan really make my face look that unrecognizable?

Daryl turns his attention from you as the both of you reach the infirmary door. He kicks the door open, the door swinging in and hitting the wall. He must have kicked it a little more forcefully then he planned.

“The hell?” The doctor turns from a desk with a book opened wide. “Damn it Daryl.” He says shaking his head.

“Sorry about that doc. I need you to patch her up, she looks like shit.” Daryl says walking towards an examining table. Placing you gently on the table he turns towards the doctor.

“Thanks Daryl.” You comment.

“The Saviors found you?” The doctor asks.

“Two.” You lie.

“Well they really did a number on you.” The doctor says, he reaches over to touch your cheeks. Grimacing in pain you start pulling away from the doctor. “Yeah, I know it hurts but I need to see what I’m dealing with.” He says gently.

Daryl begins pacing back and forth from behind the doctor. He was like a caged animal, pacing to keep himself busy or mind off of what happened to you.

Letting the doctor deal with you, he hums to himself and whispers so softly you almost miss it. He was talking to himself as if there was another doctor with him, asking questions and answering them as he checks the marks.

He then lifts your chin up and examines your neck.

The infirmary door opens causing the doctor to pause but return to his task. Daryl halts his pacing to turn towards the door.   


Two men you’ve never seen before walk inside, one carrying a baby and the other wearing a beanie hat and long black leather trench coat.

“Siddiq, when you have a moment I need you to help me out with Gracie.” The man carrying the baby says. They walk further in noticing the doctor which must be Siddiq working on a patient already.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-“ He stops when he notices Daryl by the window. “Hey Daryl.”

“When did you guys get back?” Daryl asks.

“Just a few minutes ago. Jesus was needing to have a conversation with Rick but Rick seems a little occupied.” The man holding the baby says before glancing towards you. “Damn, what happened to you?” He asks.

“Saviors.” Daryl answers.

“You ran into them?” The man who must be Jesus says.

“They were here.” You answer with your hoarse voice.

“And they did this to you?” Jesus asks.

“She got lucky.” Daryl says with a growl.

“Very, you’re face is covered in contusions. I did examine your neck and wrist, those are more severe then the cheeks. These hematoma’s are a concern but not severe enough to need surgery. I think time will heal the bruises.”

“What about her eyes?” Daryl asks.

“A subconjunctival hemorrhage will disappear within two weeks or so. There is no real harm.” He answers turning towards Daryl.

“Alright.” Daryl turns towards you and places his hand on your shoulder. “You hear that, you need time to heal. No runs or going to The Kingdom with Carol. You’re staying here.”

“Doc?” You turn towards the doctor trying to have him lend you a hand in letting Daryl let you join in on runs.

“Sorry, he’s right. You don’t need to stay bedridden but you need to stay within these walls.” He answers.

“Thank you doc.” Daryl says turning towards you once again.

You roll your eyes and give out a sigh in defeat. You weren’t going to get out of these walls anytime soon, you would have to take your time and get to know as many people as possible. 

It would help with finding the mole, learning about the others and getting back to Negan.

“Fine, but I’m not gonna like it.”

“Tough.” Daryl comments.

“Uh Daryl, before you leave could I have a conversation with you. Rick’s a little busy and I know you’ll relay the message to him.” Jesus asks.

“Yeah.” Daryl turns towards you.

“I’m fine. I can walk back to my room.” You answer.

He nods quickly before following Jesus out the infirmary.

“Thanks again doctor.” You smile moving off the table.

“Of course, you can call me Siddiq.” He smiles.

“Right, thanks Siddiq. I’ll let you check on the baby.” You finish. Turning towards the man with the baby you give a smile towards him. “I didn’t realize there was another baby here.” You comment.

The man glances down towards the baby in his arms and gives her a kiss on the top of her head. “Yeah, I saved this little gal.” He smiles.

“Did you find her with the dead?” You ask curios on where he found the baby.

“No, she was in one of the Saviors out posts.” He bounces the baby in his arms.

Your stomach drops remembering that this was the missing baby. The radio calls that were made that night after the other outpost had been raided by a large group.

“Was she left there?” You ask knowing the truth but wanting to hear it by the person who found her.

“Not exactly.” He answers. He turns towards Siddiq and kisses the babies head once again.

“Aaron, what can I help you with?”

“I think Gracie has a slight cough.”

You didn’t want to hear anymore. Your mind painted a perfect picture in what happened that night all those weeks ago. The thought of the poor Savior losing their life as they tried to keep the baby safe doesn’t sit well with you.

Nausea overwhelms you to head out the door and out to the open air. Walking slowly towards the building in case a wave of dizziness rattles your brain again. Just as you thought these people were starting to seem like innocent people something always comes up that reminds you that you’re not on the wrong side.

Making it to the main building, walking inside you glance towards the open bathroom door. Daryl said you had looked like shit and it was starting to eat at your mind. Deciding on checking out the beating marks Negan left you.

Flipping the switch to the bathroom and closing the door behind you. You turn towards the mirror, staring back at you was a reflection of someone you didn’t recognize. 

Like Siddiq said your face was covered in red bruises, lumps around your cheeks and one eye. Both eyes are bloodshot red from the tightness of Negan’s death grip. The marks around your neck cause a gasp to escape you when you realize the markings are a deep purple almost black.

A silent cry escapes your lips, tears streaming down your bruised cheeks brightens the horrid marks.

Negan may have apologized about what he did but he would never see the aftermath. He will never get to see the pain you go through as you heal, he will never see the bruises become a greenish yellow color. Negan may have apologized but he would never know the true pain he caused.

A knock on the bathroom door startles you, trying to wipe the tears away without hurting your face anymore. You clear your throat before opening the door, you’re met with Maggie.

“Hello.” Your broken voice betrays you.

“I saw you walk into the bathroom, I wanted to check on you. Are you okay?” She asks.

“I’m fine.” You answer with a nod.

“You know, you don’t need to act tough for me. I heard you crying before I knocked on the door.” She says softly.

“I.” You stop feeling your emotions starting to get the best of you. “Daryl was right.” You stop and glance towards yourself in the mirror once again. “I do look like shit.” You cry.

Maggie wraps you in her arms and begins to comfort you.

“Shh, don’t let Daryl make you feel bad. You’re going to heal. You’ll be as good as new.”

“He was just being honest.” You cry. “It’s going to take weeks to heal, I’m going to scare some of the kids here.”

“You won’t I promise, they’ve dealt with worse. Come on, let’s take you back to your room so you can rest.” She says gently, leading you out of the bathroom she walks you up the stairs and into your room.

“Thank you for being so kind.” You whimper as she helps you onto the couch.

“You’re very welcome honey. Rest.” She whispers walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

Laying on the couch you take her advice, closing your eyes you try to escape the horrors of the day.

* * *

You wake suddenly with no knowledge of how long you’ve been unconscious. Slowly sitting up on the couch you stand to your feet, turning to glance towards the window you realize the sun would be setting in a few hours.

You’ve slept the day away, which leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You hate not helping around, sleeping was no help to anyone in the group. It only makes you feel weak.

Opening the door to the room, walking down the stairs you realize the others are inside the office room where Negan and you were in earlier.

Rick is talking about the plans for Carol and Tara’s journey to The Kingdom. Daryl turns at the sound of the floorboard by the stair squeaking.   


You give him a small smile knowing you didn’t really mean to interrupt the meeting but failing at that.

Daryl raises his hand to pause Rick’s next words. Daryl begins to walk out of the office towards you, touching Carol’s shoulder as he passes by.

“How do you feel?” He asks.

“Crappy. I wish I didn’t sleep so much.”

“You needed it.” He says leading you towards the office with the others. He stops by the door and nodding towards Rick signaling that he could continue.

Rick nods back and begins laying down the plans. “If you take the route 2 that we’re trying to clear out you’ll make it to The Kingdom by the afternoon.” Rick says eyeing Carol then another girl you’ve never seen before.

“What if we take route 1?” The girl who must be Tara asks.

“Too risky. The Saviors take that road, if they’re out there then they’ll see y’all.” Rick shakes his head.

“Route 3?” Carol pipes up.

“It’s not clean yet. Still have walkers and cars in the way. That would take both of you a days ride to make it to The Kingdom.” Daryl says from beside you.

Everyone turns glancing towards Daryl in understanding. You keep your eyes downcast towards the ground, you knew you were invading in a meeting that wasn’t yours.

The main door to the building opens, an older man walks inside towards the office. He stops behind Daryl and you before proceeding to walk inside.

“Uh Rick, we have company.” The man says.

“Do you recognize them?” He asks, standing to his feet Rick and Maggie follow the man out of the office and out the door.

You could tell that Daryl wants to follow behind and help his friends, but he was staying behind to be with you.

The others start out the office and follow their leaders. One by one they all leave Daryl and you alone.

“Daryl, you really don’t have to stay just to make sure I’m okay.” You pat him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, I don’t have to. I want to.” He says.

“You also want to follow Rick and Maggie. Honestly Daryl, you can go out there with them. I’m fine in here.” You give him a smile to reassure that you would be fine on your own.

“They don’t need me right now, besides I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.” You answer quickly.

“Maggie told me she heard you crying earlier.”

You shake your head and roll your eyes. You should have known she would have said something to Daryl. She probably told him not to make you feel bad about the way you look. That he had made me cry and that she had to lead me to bed.

“Of course she did.”

“It’s okay, you know you can do that shit in front of me.”

“I would rather not. I’m a tough bitch. I’m supposed to keep from breaking.” You shake your head.

“I get it. I was just like you. Tough ass redneck, no one could tell me shit. I was harder then a brick wall. Nothing could make me weak.” He looks down towards the ground then back into your eyes. “Everyone has their breaking point.” He adds.

“What if that breaking point broke years ago?” You ask.

Daryl shakes his head and takes a step closer towards you. “You’re not broken.”

_ Then why do I feel like I am? _

The main door opens, Rick walking in with a smile. He glances towards Daryl before turning towards the large group following behind.

“Who was it?” Daryl asks.

“A friend.” Rick answers.

From behind the large group walking side by side is Carol and Ezekiel.

_ Oh shit. _

What luck? What kind of luck do you have that Ezekiel would show up that very day the others were planning on heading to his outpost?

None at that.

“Daryl. It’s a pleasure seeing you again my friend.”

“Likewise.” Daryl answers.

Carol smiles at the both of their interactions, she glances towards you. In that moment with you unlucky ass you knew she would try and introduce Ezekiel to you.

You knew you had to do something to get out of there without making a scene. Quickly trying to figure out a way to make a break for it Ezekiel turns and glances towards you.

_ Fucking hell. _

“What happened to you?” He asks.

“Saviors.” Carol says softly by his side.

“Animals all of them.” He answers. “I’m king Ezekiel.” He says lending his hand towards you.

You try to remember all those months ago, would he remember your name if you gave it to him? Would he recognize you? Would he even remember you?

“You have to excuse her, she’s still in shock from today.” Carol says placing her hand upon your shoulder. She introduces you to Ezekiel.

He grabs your hand and gives you a kiss on the back of your hand. “It’s lovely to meet you.” He says.

“Yeah, you too.” You wanted to get the hell out of here, he was going to recognize you any second and you need to make a break for it before he tells the others.

Ezekiel let’s go of your hand and continues into the office with the others. They were going to have their conversation about what’s going on, it was going to be easier for the others now that Ezekiel made the trip instead of Carol and Tara.

You couldn’t believe he didn’t recognize you, it was a good thing he didn’t or else you’d be in trouble. 

Quickly making a beeline towards the main doors you continue until you’re out in the open.

Some of the others look at you in surprise when you take a couple deep breaths trying to calm your shaky hands and racing heart. 

Placing your hands on both of your knees you try to breathe calmly and steadily.

“Hey, you good?” A voice comes from behind you, interrupts your panic attack. Remaining in the sameposition you turn noticing Daryl, his face filled with concern.

You nod not really being able to speak due to lack of breath. Turning towards the ground you continue to take deep breaths, slowly in through your nose and out through you mouth.

“Nah, you ain’t. What’s wrong?” He asks.

You shake your head, you didn’t want to talk about it with him.   


What were you supposed to tell him? Ezekiel didn’t recognize me as Negan’s savior. Having him so close and holding your hand within his in a firm handshake was too much.

“Nothing.”

“This ain’t nothing’, you look like you’ve seen a damn ghost.” He says.

_ I wish it was a ghost . _

“I think.” You stand up straight and turn towards Daryl. You needed to make an excuse, anything to distract you from your last interaction. “I think it’s all starting to hit me.” You begin.

“I knew that would happen. You wanna take a walk around?” He asks.

“No, everyone is gonna stare. I just want to find some peace.” You answer.

That was the truth, The Hilltop was feeling too crowded. The new guests were a unpleasant surprise on your part. This place didn’t feel as comfortable as it did earlier this week.

“You wanna walk out there?” Daryl asks pointing towards the other side of the walls.

You keep your mouth shut, eyeing the darkening sky over the walls brings a feeling of peace to your mind. You knew the dead were out there but even with the dead roaming around it was the simplicity of it that makes you feel at peace.

“Come on.” He says leading you towards the main gate. “You didn’t disagree or answer. Let’s just take a little walk.” He says gently.

Nodding silently, Daryl gives a whistle to the guards letting them know the both of you were heading out.

“Hunting again?” The man from this morning asks.

Was it only this morning that Daryl and you went hunting? Why did it feel like it was days ago?

“Just a walk around the block.” Daryl answers.

“Be back soon, it’s getting dark.”

“I’ll give you a whistle when we make it back.” He answers. Leading you out the walls Daryl and you walk along the street.

The silence between the both of you was peaceful, just the sound of both pairs of shoes against the asphalt was the kind of zen you needed.

You could finally breathe, taking a deep breath you aim your eyes towards the colorful sunset. The crimson sky flowing into the orange clouds.

“It’s so beautiful.” You whisper feeling at peace with the moment you’re living.

From your peripherals you notice Daryl turning towards you, staring at you longer then you expect. He continues to watch you as you stare at the magnificent sunset before answering. “It sure is.”

Your stomach twists at the memory of Negan threatening Daryl, if Daryl even so much lays a single hand on you he would kill him. Now Daryl was calling you beautiful, watching you admire the now darkening sky.

Turning towards him, his eyes meet yours. He gives you a shy smile, perhaps he knows you already knew he was gawking at the very sight of you. The horrific sight of what Negan left on your skin.

How could he think you were beautiful when you look just like Rocky at the end of the fight scene? Was Daryl blind? Did he have a death wish?

Of course he has no clue Negan knows about Daryl, he doesn’t know you were already called for. He wouldn’t know, how could he?

Turning towards the trees, you start into the field stopping when a wave of emotion tosses over you. Trying to mask the pain escaping your body, avoiding Daryl’s stare.

He was to good, Daryl didn’t deserve a girl like you. You were far from good to be with a man like him, he needed to lose those feeling he has for you.

“Why you cryin’?” He asks from behind you.

Was it that easy for him to read you even with your back towards him?

“I’m not.” You answer with a tough voice. You didn’t want him to know he was right. You don’t want to explain your pain.

“Liar.” He says softly before placing his hand on your shoulder to stop you from going anywhere else. He begins to turn you around.

Meeting his eye, he takes a step closer towards you. Wiping away the tears, he keeps his eyes on you and hands gently touching your cheeks as if you were made of glass.

“What’s wrong?” He asks again.

Where were you to start?

“Today has been a rough day and getting to watch something so beautiful as a sunset.” You stop and shake your head. It was all to unreal, things like this wasn’t normal anymore. “The simplicity of it all, I feel so calm. It feels wrong.” Turning to look to the redneck he gnaws at his bottom lip before nodding his head.

“I think the same thing everyday. When I’m out here hunting or just trying to get away from the reality of the life we’re living. It’s kinda unreal.”

You could feel Daryl stepping closer towards you, he was already so close you could feel the warmth of his body.

“Do you-“

“Daryl, I just need some space. Away from people.” You take a couple steps back and take a deep breath. This was all getting to be too much. What else was going to happen while you were here with Rick’s group?

“Alright.” He says softly and nodding. He looks away back towards The Hilltop. “Maybe you put yourself out there too fast. I mean you just got used to a large group again.” He adds.

He had a point, your story was that Rosita and Enid found you alone. Having lost your group a while ago and fending for yourself. A transition like this would be hard on you.

“Maybe you’re right.” You look to him and take a deep breath. “I feel like I should still be out here. Away from a group.” You shake your head. “It’s just bad luck.” You add looking to him before you wrap your arms around yourself.

It was all true, groups were always bad luck. They never made it and eventually you would end up alone again.

“Those were the wrong groups.” He begins. “They were weak.”

“My brother wasn’t weak.” You snap.

He lifts his hands in a defensive way. “I didn’t mean your brother.”

Turning towards the woods you begin to gnaw at your bottom lip. You knew he didn’t mean your brother, he wouldn’t throw something so personal in your face. Taking a shaky breath you eye the redneck and nod towards him, silently letting him know that you weren’t angry.

“You need to trust us. We’re a tough group. Have been since we found each other.” He shakes his head. “We lost a lot in our first real group but we met more people. The ones here with us. We’re fighters.”

“I know. I realized you all were the day I arrived.” You smile towards him. “Especially you.”

“Nah, just damn wired different then everyone else.” He shrugs.

“And stubborn.” You add.

“You should talk.” He chuckles.

Rolling your eyes you begin to laugh. He was right, you were stubborn as hell. Probably the reason you’re out here to begin with. Also the main reason Negan is so into you.

“Honestly though, trust us. Rick has so many plans it’s going to change the world as we know it.

How could he have so much faith in a future for this world? How could a man like Rick Grimes change it?

It was impossible, things were going to be hard to get back to normal. If that’s what was going to happen.

“I’m trying.” You answer. It wasn’t a lie, they’ve kept you safe since you’ve been in these walls. They took you in and had you join in on a run. They haven’t done anything to cause you to feel uncomfortable.

Mentally slapping yourself you start to remind yourself that you were here for a job. Find the mole, get back with Negan. Repeating the job you’re trying to complete; you let out a sigh before giving Daryl a gentle nudge with your elbow.

“We better head back. It’s starting to get too dark.”

“After you.” He says letting you lead the way back towards the hilltop.

Walking back towards the Hilltop, Daryl whistles to the guards. The large door opens leading you both back inside.

“Hey, if you ever need to talk about anything you know where to find me.” Daryl says softly.

“Thank you.” You answer before Daryl walks away leaving you alone.

You’d start towards the main building to head back to your room, taking your first couple steps towards the stairs you hear someone speak behind you.

Pausing you turn to glance towards the voice, taking a breath you’re met with Jerry.

“Yes?” You ask.

“I jut wanted you to know that I heard what happened to you. Those saviors had no right.” He says nicely.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” You shrug.

“Also, my king would like to have a conversation with you.” He adds.

“Why? I’m about to go to bed.” You lie. You weren’t tired, you needed to hide from the people from The Kingdom.

“He just asked me to bring you back.” He shrugs.

Was this the part where they tell you they know who you are? Is this how you were going to be killed?

“Can this wait for tomorrow?” You ask.

“I don’t think so, it seems a little urgent.” He answers.

_ Son of a bitch. _

There was no where for you to go now, you couldn’t make a run for the walls without everyone questioning you or possibly blowing your cover. You would have to suck it up and follow Jerry.

Letting out a sigh you glance down towards the floor. “Fine. Lead the way.” You groan.

He smiles as he turns and heads towards an extra room you’ve actually never been inside. Jerry knocks on the door letting Ezekiel know that he was here with his guest.

Ezekiel turns around in his chair and gives Jerry a nod. “Thank you Jerry. Please, leave us.” He says to the large man by your side.

You watch Jerry walk off and down the hall. He stops not leaving the area, just in case you do anything stupid.

“My dear lady, come and take a seat.” He says signaling for you to take a seat on the bed.

Walking further into the room, you take a seat on the bed and stare towards the man.

How in the world could a man like him act like he was living back in the Medieval era? This was all an act, right?

“Tell me, how long have you been with Rick’s group?” He asks.

“Uh, I think a few weeks now.” You answer honestly.

He examines your face and squints his eyes towards you. “How did you find them?” He asks.

“It was more the other way around. They found me. Rosita and Enid stumbled across me in the woods.” You answer.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, before nodding and turning to look away from you. You don’t know if this was the reason he called you in? Perhaps he really didn’t recognize you from all those months ago.

“Rick told me that you were willing to help them by taking a trip to The Kingdom. After you were beaten so badly.” He meets your eyes. “They refused your request due to your condition.”

“They did.” You nod.

“I thank you for volunteering to help your new group.”

“It’s no problem.” You smile.

“After all, you’ve been away from the saviors far too long to continue calling them your own group.”

Your stomach drops at the confirmation of Ezekiel’s words. He knew you, he remembered you and didn’t make a scene in front of the others.

_ Why? _

“I-“

“No need to deny what you are, I recognized you as soon as Carol introduced you.” He stands and walks towards the door. Closing it for privacy, he returns to his seat and eyes you. “Tell me, what are you doing here?”

“Please don’t-“

“I do not want to hear any sort of excuses. I just want the truth, what are your plans for The Hilltop.” He interrupts.

“I’m not here to hurt anyone.” You answer.

“Then what’s your purpose?”

How could he be so calm about having a savior living in The Hilltop with Rick’s group? Did he have more faith in you then you thought? Was he testing you?

“It’s not-“

“Don’t test me young lady. Let me give you two options. One, I walk into Rick and Michonne’s courters and let them know who you really are. Or two, you explain yourself and I’ll consider if I believe you or not.” He crosses his arms and stares at you waiting for your next move.

“Fine, I’m here to find a mole that has been telling Rick what Negan and the Saviors are planning next.” You answer honestly.

“Any luck?” He asks.

“No.” You answer plainly.

Now that he knows, you could feel fear within you grow stronger and stronger.

“Shame.” He answers.

“Now what?” You ask.

“Now I ask you more questions.” He answers.

“What else do you want me to say? That’s all I’m here for.” You answer.

“Ah ah, remember you’re the enemy.” He says pointing out the obvious. “Did you know that Negan and the others were coming by today?”

“No, that was a surprise.” You answer.

“What were they here for?”

_ Shit. _

Could you tell him that Negan was here for you? Should you even give him that kind of information? If he found out that Negan was here for you because you’re basically his pet, he could use it against you and Negan.

_ It didn’t feel right. _

“They said they were looking for Rick.” You lie.

He gives you a confused look, possibly wondering why they would still be looking for Rick if you were here. None of it was clicking in his mind.

“How many Saviors know that you’re here?” He asks.

“One.”

He casts his eyes down towards your neck and wrist, examining the dark marks. Meeting your eyes once more he tilts his head. “You’re telling me, Negan sent his own mole to find THE mole working for Rick?” 

“Yes.” You answer.

Ezekiel gives a laugh and shakes his head. Things were still a little confusing to him, he eyes the marks once again before speaking. “So those marks you received today, were they self inflicted?”

“You think I would do something like this to myself?” You ask feeling anger rush into your blood. Did he really think you would hurt yourself like this?

“No, I wanted to see if you would give me more information.” He raises an eyebrow. “Whoever it was has large hands. A male.”

“Some of the Saviors don’t always agree with each other.” You answer.

“Yes, that reminds me. You’re filthy mouth has really taken a turn for the better.” He says softly. Meeting your state he raises an eyebrow. “That man all those months ago, hitting you?”

“Like I said, some of us don’t see eye to eye.”

He continues to stare at you and leans back into his chair. Resting against the back rest he stares at you and nods.

“How do you feel about these people?” He asks meaning the people of the hilltop.

“At first I hated everyone. Now, these people have been nothing but kind to me.” You answer. You shake your head and meet Ezekiel’s eye. “I’m not here to hurt anyone. If I was I would have already done that.”

“Yes, you would have.” He nods. “The fighter.” He remarks about the fight you had with Jared all those months ago.

“If you find out-“

“Not if, when I find out who the mole is.” You interrupt.

He smiles. “Yes, when you find out. What will happen? Will you kill the group?”

“No, I’m heading back to The Sanctuary. It’s my home.”

“Is it?” He asks. “Someone who knows you as a “family member” would never do such a thing like that. Unless the person who did that to you is the one savior who knows you’re here.” He replies.

He hit the bullseye, you never had to explain what happened for him to figure it out on his own.

Keeping your mouth shut you look down towards the floor. You didn’t want him to get anymore info out.

“Come on, was Negan angry with you when you didn’t have any updates?” He asks.

You try to look as if he solved the mystery, Negan came in to get info but came back empty handed. It was better then letting Ezekiel know that Negan pounded his cock into your pussy in the office room only a couple doors down.

“That’s what I thought.” He says softly. “Why would you still want to go back to them after what he did to you?”

“It’s my home.” You reply.

You could feel the irritation creeping up, you wanted to leave. Get the hell out of The Hilltop and back to Negan.

“What kind of man walks around like he rules the world?” He asks.

“What kind of man walks around acting like a king?” You ask right back. “You really have no room for judgment when you do the same thing, you’re just missing a baseball bat.” You give him a cheeky smile before standing from the bed and crossing your arms over your chest.

“I didn’t say we were finished.” He boomed.

“Okay, then I would like to to make up your mind. I’m getting a little tired.” You remark, you knew you didn’t have very much luck with your salty attitude towards the man. He would decide weather you liked to or not.

You wanted it over with.

“Before I make up my mind, tell me. What do you think of Daryl?”

“He’s a good man.”

“You’ve gotten close to him.”

“He’s a friend.” You answer.

“When it comes down to a war, which it will. And you’re back with the Saviors, could you kill Daryl?” He asks.

You couldn’t believe he would ask such a thing, it hurt your entire soul just thinking about your kind friend in pain. You hated to agree with the Ezekiel but he was right, it would end up a large war between the two groups.

He asked a very valid question, could you kill Daryl?

“No.” You answer softly.

“I know it to be true. I can see it in your eyes.” He testifies.

Ezekiel stands, moving towards you he meets your eyes. Stepping closer he leans in and whispers into your ear.

“I’m giving you one week to find the mole, when you do; you’ll go on a run and find yourself lost in the woods. Never returning to The Hilltop. I will not change my mind after this, so you better make sure to do your best or else I will tell Rick and the others.”

Pulling back you look into his eyes, he was giving you a chance to get the job done. That was a kindness you would never expect from a leader.

“Thank you.” You whisper before walking towards the door and out of the room.

Passing by Jerry, he gives you a smile before you head upstairs to your bedroom.

Things were going to be a little different now. You would have to be on you A game, trying everything you can to find out who was working for both sides.

Closing the door behind you, you lean against the door and let a shaky breath out.

_ Fuck, it’s time to get serious. _


	20. Serpent In The Grass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I wanted to thank you for sticking with me while I took a hiatus. I’m back now and I’ll keep posting more chapters.
> 
> Enjoy! ❤️

You wake the next morning, body sore from the rough sex. Moving around the room, you get dressed for the day.

It was going to be different, you were dragging your feet for a while now, but now that you have a time limit you can’t keep stalling any longer.

Once finished dressing, you start out your room and down the stairs. Surprisingly finding the bathroom open, you take the opportunity to relieve yourself and wash your sore face.

Glancing into the mirror you try to remind yourself that the marks would disappear eventually.

“It may look bad now, but they will go away.” You pep talk yourself. “Now, go out there and get more information.”

Walking out of the bathroom you’re met with Jerry.

You jump back. “Shit, you scared me.”

“Sorry about that, I was about to knock on the door.” He smiles towards you.

“That’s okay, I’m finished anyway.” You answer giving him a small smile. 

Does he know? Does he remember you?

“Cool beans.” He nods walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind himself.

Shaking your head you try to get your mind back to the right mindset. Walking out of the building and out into the crowded lawn.

The entire group stands in a long line for breakfast, you didn’t really have anything to eat yesterday. The smell of the prepared food causes your stomach to growl.

Making your way to the end of the line, you think about how you were going to try and get any kind of info.

Who were you to talk to? Where were you to start?

You were so deep in thought you didn’t notice Daryl call your name. He walks up towards you, touching your elbow gently which causes you to jump at the unexpected contact.

“Jumpy this mornin’.” He says with a smirk. “Rough night?”

_ You have no idea. _

“Tossing and turning. I also couldn’t stop thinking about the saviors.” You shrug.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep either.” Daryl answers nodding his head before crossing his arms over his chest.

“What kept you up?” You ask.

“I guess I was overthinking things. Worried about what happened and what we could have done to prevent it from happening. What I could have done to help you.” He answers, glancing down towards the ground he shakes his head. “You know, that kind of shit.”

“Yeah, I understand.” You nod.

The sound of a horse causes you to turn around in the line.

“Who’s horse is that?” You ask turning towards Daryl.

“Ezekiel’s, they’re loading up to travel back to The Kingdom.” He answers.

“Wait, didn’t they just get here?” 

“Yeah, well they were here to check up on us. After Alexandria, he wanted to make sure we were safe.” He answers.

“Oh, yeah that makes sense.” You nod to yourself and turn back around in the line.

_Good riddance._

Remembering the conversation you had with Ezekiel causes a chill to run down your spine. He would be leaving The Hilltop for now which means he would be coming back to make sure the job was finished.

He was going to keep tabs on you.

“Did he get what he wanted?” You ask.

“You can say that.” Daryl shakes his head and eyes the long line ahead of you both. “Carol will be going with him after all.” He finishes.

“What?” You ask in surprise.

“She was with him before, she came here to make sure everyone was okay. She’s been a lot of help.” He answers.

“She’s going alone?”

“Nah, I guess he left Morgan over there.” He answers. Turning towards you he gives you a small smile. “Which reminds me that you have no idea who I’m talking about.” He adds.

“That’s correct.” You chuckle.

“Let’s just say this guy is good with a stick.” He says.

Guy with a stick. You knew exactly who he was talking about. When you were back with the Saviors and working the groups you met the man with a stick. He beat the living shit out of Jared once which was great to watch.

“What about you?” You ask giving him a look. “Are you good with a stick?” You smile.

Daryl glances towards you, his face flushing bright red. “Shut up.”

You giggle enjoying the blush upon his face. “Well it’s gonna be a little weird not having Carol around.” You answer. “Who else is going to help me around here?” You chuckle again.

“Keep it up, I’ll make sure the person who helps you is Gregory.”

“Don’t threaten me like that. I almost believed you.” You smile.

Daryl smiles towards you, he pushes you gently when the line starts to move. 

“You’re probably starving since you didn’t eat shit yesterday.” Daryl starts.

“Yeah, I’m pretty hungry.” You answer as the line continues to move.

“I should have hunted after so you could have had something.” He answers.

“Well what happened to the food we hunted yesterday?”

“That’s what we’re eating today.” He answers.

The both of you finally reach the makeshift kitchen, Bre looks up from the stove and smiles.

“I’m happy you’re safe.” She says sweetly.

“Thanks Bre. Me too.” You answer giving her a sweet smile.

“I have something a little special for you.” She says walking to the other end of the makeshift kitchen and holding a plate. “Don’t say no or I’ll be a little upset.” She hands the plate to you and gives Daryl a quick glance.

“I’ll make sure she eats all of it.” He promises. 

Bre nods before handing Daryl his own plate. Walking off Daryl leads you towards the building and up the stairs.

“Where are you taking me?” You ask.

“I’m taking you to one of my favorite spots. Great view and no one else is around.” He answers.

Walking into a room you’ve never been inside, you look around seeing clothes scattered around. Until you notice Daryl’s crossbow, you realize this was Carol’s and his room.

Daryl ignores any kind of staring, he slides his window open and begins to step outside.

“Take my hand.” He orders once he’s through the window and standing on the roof.

“Is it too late to say I’m afraid of heights.” You gulp taking his hand in yours. 

“It’s not that bad.” He says helping you crawl out of the window and onto the roof.

“Shit.” You take a deep breath and try to keep as close to the side of the building.

“I’ve got you.” He whispers as he leads you to the middle and begins to take a seat on the ledge of the roof. “Come on, trust me.”

“Uh, you really expect me to do this?” You ask.

“You’re going to love it.” He reassures you, keeping his hand in yours; you tightly grip his hand as you start to sit and scoot closer to the edge.

“I might puke.” You squeal.

“Pansy.” He comments as he lifts his plate and begins to eat like someone was going to take it from him.

Trying to ignore the height of where you were both seated, you look to your plate which had aluminum foil covering it. Beginning to unwrap your plate you realize she made you a large piece of meat, hash browns and a scoop of applesauce.

“Wow, she must love you.” He smiles.

“I don’t think I can eat that big of a piece.” You answer glancing towards him before picking the meat.

“That’s the rabbit we caught.” He smirks.

“The whole thing?” You ask.

Daryl chuckles. “Nah, just a good chunk of it.”

“Could you help me eat half of it?” You ask.

“I’ll eat whatever you can’t.” He answers.

Nodding you begin to eat your meal. Glancing up from the plate to the view, you stop chewing at the beauty. 

“Well, you were right.” You finish chewing and swallow the meat down. “It is beautiful up here.”

“I told you.” He answers finishing his meal and placing the plate to the empty side of him. He glances towards you before speaking once again. “After our conversation last night I knew this was going to be a great place to take you.”

“It’s amazing. If I don’t look down.” You answer. If you were to make a sudden movement, you would fall down to your death.

“Just look past the walls. There’s a whole world out there, more opportunities to change the future.”

_ There he goes with changing the future. What makes him believe that the world could change after what’s happened? _

He turns towards you, examining your face he tries to help you see what could change. He continues talking about how Rick and the others are trying to change the world one day at a time. 

You drowned him out thinking about Negan, he was trying to do the same kind of thing. People didn’t understand how Negan rules the Saviors, Rick’s group and the kingdom declaring war to a man trying to conquer the same dream.

Yes, Negan was a little different when it came to dealing with problems; but he got the damn job done. He’s not afraid to lead others in the right direction, some people just needed a little push.

“Daryl, could I ask you a favor?” You ask interrupting him mid sentence.

“Yeah?”

“I know you don’t want me to be out there, hunting or going on runs but.” You pause and place your plate on the roof. “I’m going to lose my mind in here.” You explain.

Daryl meets your stare, he begins to shake his head to argue with you. 

“Please, I need to do something besides staying in these fucking walls. I’m going to lose my shit.” 

He stares at you not expecting that kind of language coming from you.

“Saddiq gave you rules.”

“Daryl, I’m fine. I’m capable of taking care of myself, it’s just a couple bruises.” You explain.

He looks away. “What if those assholes are out there and I let you go on a run?”

“That’s the kind of risk I’m willing to take.” You answer.

“Yeah, that’s what you said last time and look what happened to you.”

“I’m fine.” You roll your eyes.

Daryl shakes his head a couple times. He didn’t want you going out in the open because he was afraid something was going to happen to you again. He was just trying to be protective.

“You talk about a future that you’re all willing to create, well I don’t think that can happen. How can you all change something that took over the whole world?”

“That’s what we’re trying to do.” He turns towards you, he seemed a bit irritated at your question and lack of faith with their plans.

“How? It’s such a huge task that one small group like you can try to develop a community. How can you change the other states? What about Europe? Asia? All those other continents? How can a small group do that?”

“Faith.” He answers.

“Faith, fine then. Show me a little faith and let me help.” You finish.

Daryl keeps his eyes on you calculating an answer within his mind. He turns away to look at the glorious morning sun lighting up the scenery.

“Fine.” He says grumpily. Turning to look to you once again he examines your face. “I ask you one favor.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You smile towards him, turning to look towards the scenery you knew what you had to do.

* * *

Once you’re finished with your breakfast Daryl and you head back down towards the office room. A meeting is being held with Ezekiel and the others.

Ezekiel pauses when he notices Daryl and you joining in.

“Didn’t know you were having a meeting this morning, why wasn’t there a heads up?” Daryl ask glancing around the room and meeting eyes with Rick last.

“It was a last minute meeting, I hope you understand?” Ezekiel begins. He was speaking to Daryl but he kept his eyes on you.

Was the asshole double crossing you?

Did he let them know who you really are?

“No, it doesn’t make sense. Someone would have called for me, aren’t I a part of this leadership team?” He asks now meeting Michonne.

“Of course you are Daryl, it wasn’t in spite of you. We can assure you.” Ezekiel says.

“Why are you the one answering and not Rick or Michonne?” You ask Ezekiel by stating the obvious.

“Because it is my meeting.” He answers calmly.

Glancing towards Daryl you realize he was pissed about being left out of the meeting. It was important for him to be there due to his role within the community. He glances towards Rick and squints at the cowboy.

“Here I am out there busting my ass trying to convince people that we can work together to create a future and here you are keeping me out of a meeting.”

“It wasn’t intentional.” Rick finally answers.

“Then why wasn’t I called?”

“Because it has to do with The Kingdom.” Ezekiel answers.

“I should know, since I am supposed to help.” Daryl raises his voice slightly.

“Daryl, it’s okay. Don’t be angry.” Carol pipes up, placing her hand on his arm she tries to sooth his thoughts. “Daryls right, we should have called him. Let him know that a meeting was going to be held.”

“We apologize Daryl.” Michonne finally speaks up.

Daryl growls deeply trying to keep his irritation clear of his thoughts. He glances towards Ezekiel before speaking.

“So what’s happening to The Kingdom?” He asks.

Ezekiel glances towards you, his eyebrow lifting before speaking.

“Thisis a leadership meeting, maybe our guest should leave.” He says keeping his stare towards you.

Rick glances towards you and nods quickly. “He’s right.” He calls your name. “Could we have you leave. This doesn’t have anything to do with you.” He says nicely.

The amount of kindness you received from Rick was your answer you were looking for. Ezekiel hadn’t to them who you are nor was he planning on telling them. Yet.

You nod your head towards Rick. “Alright. I’ll just wait out here.”

“No, go outside and enjoy the day.” Ezekiel says trying to get rid of you.

“Yes, my King.” You answer sarcastically before bowing down.  


Keeping your eyes on him you notice the upset look he reflected towards you. Raising your eyebrow you stand up straight once again before walking out of the room.

Tara closes the door behind you leaving it to be Jerry and you.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” He says glancing down towards you.

“He calls himself a king, might as well treat him like one.”

“He’s willing to work with you.” He says pressing the conversation.

Jerry did know, you knew Ezekiel couldn’t keep it from him. 

Crossing your arms you look to the big man. “Should I be afraid?”

“Fear has a lot to do with it, but it’s not towards The King.” He answers. 

“Of course not, you all will be leaving soon anyway.”

“Things changed. Roamers are keeping us from leaving. We’ll be here longer then expected.”

“A herd? They’ll clear out within the next day.” You answer.

“Exactly.” He says. “Might as well stay with our friends until they pass.” He adds.

“Daryl and I didn’t see a herd while we were out there. Are they covering your road back home?”

“One of our road guards checked it out. Over one hundred roamers are blocking the road, for now.” He answers.

“Which road? I heard there more ways to get to The Kingdom.”

“The road you and your group use. That’s blocked for now. The others haven’t been cleared enough.”

“Jerry.” Ezekiel’s voice rings from behind Jerry and you.

“My King.” He answers, his eyes wide in surprise.

“You’re speaking with the enemy.” He says keeping his angry eyes on you.

“I was just trying to help.” You answer.

“We don’t need help from a savior.” He says walking past you and back towards his room.

The asshole wouldn’t change his mind towards you whether you were trying to help them or not. You were nothing but the enemy in his mind.

Turning from Jerry you start towards the stairs and head back to your room. The anger in your body was radiating off of you like steam.

How many times do I have to explain to Ezekiel that I’m not here to hurt anyone? 

He may have given you a second chance but he would never trust you.

In your angry mind you walk towards the wardrobe, opening the doors you grab your backpack. Sticking your arm deep in the bag you search for the walkie talkie.

Finding the plastic communication device you quickly turn the knob and wait to hear the static.

The static greets you seconds later, pressing on the button you breathe into the microphone.

“Negan.” You growl with anger. Releasing the button you wait to hear from Negan.

Static greets you once again. Negan was probably busy with actual leading a group. 

“Negan.” You call once again not wanting to take his absence as an answer.

_ Damn it, he wasn’t around.  _

What were you to do to get back at the dreadlocked king?

“Doll, this better be important.” Negan answers into the microphone finally.

“Why didn’t you answer when I called you the first time?” You ask in irritation.

You could imagine Negan rolling his eyes or rubbing the stress from his face at the tone of your voice.

“I was with one of my wives.” He answers.

To add a little more wood to the fire you blow up. He had to bring up one of those bitches you hate so much. With a growl into the mic you begin.

“Listen here, I’m going to only tell you this once. I do not want to hear about those other bitches. I don’t want to know if you’re with them, in fact I don’t want you being with any of them.” You pause. “Now, I’m going to give you an order. You will do as I say and you will not disobey.” You let the button go just to make sure he was listening.

“Damn someone is pissed.” He answers.

“I’m tired Negan, I’m tired of not being enough for you and I’m tired of being in this fucking place.”

“How many times do I have to ask you to be my wife then?” He asks.

“I’m not fucking going there right now. We are going to discuss actual business. Do you understand?”

You could hear him chuckle on the other end of the mic. “Where have you been, I missed this girl.”

“Negan shut up, I’m not here to make you miss me. I said I’m here for business.”

“Yes ma’am.” He answers.

“Good, now I need you to have a meeting with your men. Take them into the meeting room, all the head runners. I want you to tell them to get ready for a nice trip.”

“A trip? Where are we going?”

“You’re not going anywhere, you’ll keep your happy ass in the sanctuary and you’ll have the others go to The Kingdom.” You smile into the mic.

“The Kingdom?” He asks.

“Didn’t I tell you to just do what I said?”

“You did, but I’m not going to send my men over there where there’s danger.” He answers.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.” You answer.

“Why’s that?”

“Because the leader is here. They have no one to protect them there.”

“What do you want with them there?” He asks.

“Just stop by, normal run for half their shit. We’re going to scare Ezekiel here and I’m going to find out who the mole is.” You answer. “Oh yeah, make sure to take another route. There’s a herd on the normal road to The Kingdom.” You finish.

“Hot damn Doll, you’ve just proved to me never to piss you off.”

“Good, also don’t forget to tell your men after our chat. The herd should be gone by tomorrow, I want the mole to make it before the night falls to give the group a scare.” You answer.

“You’re evil. I love it.”

“I’m mad as hell.” You answer before turning off the walkie and tossing it back into your backpack.

This was going to be the last night you’re in this place. You didn’t belong here, you were only playing a role.

And the role was no longer fun.


	21. Fingertips Away

To pass the time, the day consists of going around The Hilltop talking with some of the other residents you’ve never conversed with.

Earl the blacksmith Offered to sharpen your machete, James with the guard post explained where he came from and why The Hilltop is so important to him and Enid’s excitement when Saddiq offered to teach her medical lessons.

Daryl headed off to hunt after their meeting, he came to tell you he wouldn’t be around for a few hours. He then told you not to miss him too much, which you explained that you would miss him like a sore thumb.

Luck was definitely on his side when he came back, hauling a deer over his shoulder he looked to you for praise. Which you gladly gave just to make him feel good about his amazing work.

The day has been filled with new stories and new people. You forgot how tiring it could be when meeting people, walking towards the building you take a seat on the steps leading to the building doors. Looking around the yard you’re eyes meet Gregory from across the yard and in his fenced jail.

Hating the very sight of him you look away from his fire like stare. Turning to look to the other side of The Hilltop you notice Rick making his way towards you.

He’s never came up to me before, did he know? Did Ezekiel finally tell him?

“Good afternoon.” He says with a smile.

Maybe not?

“Afternoon.” You answer with a matching smile.

He points to the step next to you, silently asking if he could take a seat.

You nod, Rick takes a seat next to you. He keeps his eyes directed elsewhere then towards you.

Does he know?

“Have you been making friends?” He asks as if you were a child at a new school.

“Yeah, getting to know a lot of people and hearing tons of different stories.” You answer deciding not to get sarcastic with your answer.

“These people welcomed my people with open arms.” He says turning to watch some of the Hilltop residents walking around the yard.

“Except for that asshole?” You ask, using your head to point towards Gregory; who’s watching Rick and you interact.

Rick glances towards the direction you were pointing, a smirk appearing before clearing his throat. “Yeah, except for him.” He keeps his eyes on the older man. The two look as if they were having a staring contest. They stare until the older man grows uncomfortable with Rick’s stare.

“I wanted to apologize about earlier.” He begins continuing to stare in Gregory’s direction. He then turns his attention towards you.

“Oh.” You eye the cowboy, his eyes still filled with so much sorrow from his loss but his face seeming well rested.

“Ezekiel shouldn’t have made you feel like you were invading.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he likes me all that much.” You answer knowing damn well he hates you.

“He’s worried about his people.” Rick tries to justify the reason Ezekiel treated you the way he did.

“Aren’t they safe?” You ask.

“Of course.” He answers nodding and eyeing his boots.

Not for long. You keep your eyes directed towards Rick.

“They have e large walls around them, guns and warriors.” He adds.

You nod. “I guess as a leader you always worry.” You shrug.

You’ve noticed it with Negan. He always tries to deny that he worries all the time but you knew better. You could see the stress, concern that one thing wouldn’t work or the fear of failing in his eyes.

It’s the same look Rick, Daryl and Ezekiel share.

“Sometimes it comes with the territory.” He answers.

You nod in understanding.

“I have noticed Daryl and you getting closer since you’ve been here.” He changes the subject once the conversation goes flat.

“Yeah, I think he likes my sarcasm.” You answer before turning and noticing Daryl skinning the deer by the makeshift kitchen.

“He likes your leadership. He’s talked to Michonne and I about you.” Rick begins.

You turn to stare at the unshaven man as he speaks with you.

“He tells us you’re tough. A natural leader.” He adds.

“I don’t know about that.” You shake your head.

“I do. I can see it too. You take charge of things. For example yesterday, when the saviors came in you took charge and headed inside even though you knew what they could do to you.”

If he only knew they wouldn’t do a thing to you because they knew you well enough. Negan’s rough sex was a bit of a surprise but it was helpful with your story.

“I just wanted to help.” You lie.

You just wanted to get info on what was happening. You wanted to see if Negan was there. Which he was.

Rick eyes you. “A true leader would do the same thing.” He answers.

He was wrong about you. You weren’t a true leader. You were just lucky you could work both sides. It wouldn’t matter anymore, you would be leaving soon.

“Daryl said he talked with you about the future and how we’re trying to create something big.” 

“He has.” You answer scrunching your eyebrows together. “I’m skeptical.” You add.

“Why?” He asks.

“How do you think something like changing the world back to how it used to be will work?” You shake your head. “It’s a huge task, responsibility and if I’m honest a long shot from happening.” You explain.

“Anything is possible if you work hard, have a large team standing by your side, giving ideas and plans. It might seem hard but if you continue to tell yourself that it will work then it will end up building itself together.” He answers keeping his eyes on you.

Rick seems more into the new and changed world. He knows what he wants and how to make it work. It seems as if it could become a possibility but your pessimistic mind continues to tell you that it was only going to remain a pipe dream.

“Rick!” James shouts from his post.

Rick and you turn towards the wall, Rick stands from his seat and takes a step forward.

“What do you see?” Rick asks.

“A car approaching.” He answers with a shout. The other guards at the post aim guns towards the other side of the wall.

The sound of breaks screeching from the other side of the wall rings in the air. James grabs his gun and cocks it before shouting. “Put your hands up. Drop the gun.”

The woman by James side shouts. “Tell us who you’re with.”

Rick and you remain in the same spot, you glance towards the others on the lawn. They also have paused their walk around the yard to watch the interaction on the wall.

James turns to look to Rick. “Savior.” He shouts.

Rick grumbles. ”What the fuck do they want now?”

This was it, you were finally going to see who the mole you’ve been waiting for.

Turning at the sound of quick steps you realize Daryl’s walking towards you. Concern plastered on his face like a mask.

“I’m not gonna have anything else happen to you.”Daryl says grabbing you by the hand and starts pulling you towards the building doors.

“Daryl I’m fine.” You try to stop him.

“Hell Nah, they’re back.” He says picking you up from the hips and tossing you over his shoulder. He begins walking to the door, watching the building moving closer end closer in a upside down view.

“Daryl.” You exclaim.

He was trying to protect you but little does he know he was keeping you from finding any info. He leads you to a closet, opening the door wide he leads the both of you inside, turning the light on and places you on the floor.

“I’m doing this for your safety.” He explains.

Daryl’s worried about you, afraid of having the same Savior come in and finish the job. He rolls his hands into fists by his side to keep from hitting something in fury.

He takes a shaky breath to calm himself down. He was trying everything in his power to keep you safe and to remain in control.

A cheeky smile appears on your face as he turns towards the door as if someone were going to come in any second.

You knew a way to calm him down and get his mind off the drama that might be happening outside these walls.

“So, you finally got me in a room alone. Which so happens to be a closet.” You begin.

Daryl slowly turns around, his face beginning to redden not with anger but with embarrassment.

“If I’m not mistaken, this used to be a game called Seven Minutes In Heaven.” You finish with a large smile.

Daryl continues to stare towards you, his face reddening every second. He then gives you a smile that you’ve been waiting for.

“You’re something else.” He chuckles.

“What? I just wanted to make sure-“

Daryl shushes you with his lips. He pulls you to him, his unexpected kiss deepening.

You weren’t expecting him to actually do something like this, the both of you have been playfully flirting with each other.

It was playful, nothing was supposed to come from it. You try to remain calm.

Daryl pulls back, the both of you panting for breath.

If Negan found out he would put an iron to his face or set the hunter on fire.

_I belong to Negan._ You shout inside your head. The words echoing in your mind. _I’m Negan’s girl._

Daryl then smirks towards you. _The motherfucker did it on purpose._

“I knew that would get you to shut up.” He chuckles before crossing his arms.

He wasn’t serious?   


He was testing you, knew it was only flirting. He wanted to see how far you would go with the flirting.

“Asshole.” You blurt. 

His smiles widens. “Temper.” He says before winking.

He was proud of himself, he shocked you to your very core with a move like that. Daryl then turns towards the door before turning slightly to give you another look.

Daryl Dixon caught your bluff. Embarrassment settles deep in your stomach, face flushing red.

“What? Didn’t expect that?” He asks.

“Nope, didn’t know you had it in you.” You tease.

Daryl’s face twists at your comeback.

“You’re sassy when you’re embarrassed. Don’t make me shut you up again.” He smirks.

You want to answer with a ‘make me’ but that was just begging for more. It was wrong, it wasn’t any good. It was mutual flirting before, now it was different; in fact he was the only one flirting at this point.

You were only joking around when you flirt with him, you never would do anything with another man. Negan was all you needed.

_I need to end this now._ “I uh, it’s starting to get a little crowded in here.” You cough.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights and have claustrophobia.” He teases.

“Don’t judge me.” You answer before a small smirk appears on your lips.

_ Damn this adorable redneck.  _ You shake your head.

He nods understand what you need. “Alright, let me go and see what’s happening out there.” He declares. He grabs the doorknob, turning towards you once again he meets your eye. “Stay here.” He orders.

Rolling your eyes you nod.

“I’m serious.” He commands.

Using your index finger, you draw an invisible halo above your head.

Daryl turns back around, opening the closet door he exits the small room leaving you alone to your wild thoughts.

_ He fucking kisses me! Why would he do that? _

_ We’ve always messed around with each other but never made anything happen.   
_

_ I never wantedanything to really happen, right? _

_It was just for fun._ You try to explain to yourself.

Negan can never know, it would be a complete mess if he were to find out.

Daryl doesn’t deserve to get hurt because of your mistake and your stupidity.

Shaking your head, you decide to keep what bad just happened to yourself. Negan would never find out.

* * *

You didn’t know how long you’ve been waiting inside the small closet. At this point you’ve been sitting on the floor, back against the wall waiting for Daryl to return with any sort of news.

The room was starting to get a little to warm and stuffy for your liking. You promised you would stay in here until Daryl would return, he would come back when everything was safe.

The fact that he’s been gone for so long was starting to make you feel nervous.   


Did that savior come in and kill everyone in the group?

The possibility of that happening was very low but you couldn’t help your nervous brain.

You need to find answers, imagining the invisible halo over your head dissolving into small red horns; you stand and crack the door open to peak outside.

You remain silent listening for any kind of noise. A hint of a conversation reaches your ears, hushed voices from inside the building eases some of the panic in your mind.

You couldn’t make out who’s voices belonged to who. 

Dismissing the promise to stay inside the closet is thrown into the trash, you open the door wide and walk out to find the room the voices were coming from.

Reaching the office you knew the voices would be in there, tiptoeing closer towards the door the mumbled voices finally begin to sound like coherent sentences.

Stopping by the door, you listen the conversation being held.

“The herd will keep them from making it to The Kingdom.” Carol says.

“Negan told them come hell or high water they would make it to The Kingdom by the end of the day.” The moles voice answers.

Fuck, you didn’t recognize the voice.

“What should we do?” Tara asks.

Silence fills the room, you knew they were all brainstorming on how to try and stop the saviors from getting to The Kingdom. 

“We’ll head home as planned.” Ezekiel answers finally. He didn’t sound like he was a hundred percent ready for the trip.

“I’ll go along.” Carol replies.

“No, if something were to happen-“ Ezekiel tries to argue.

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” Carol interrupts.

“Carol.” Ezekiel tries to stop her.

“If we keep arguing about me joining the trip back to The Kingdom the saviors will make it there before we will. I’m not having those innocent lives put in danger.” She answers.

“She’s right, we need to leave my King.” Jerry’s voice chimes in.

A sigh reaches your ears from inside the room.

“Alright, the decision has been made.” Ezekiel says. “Let’s head out.” He orders.

You quickly run toward the room next to the office, closing the door as quietly as possible behind you; you walk into a dimly lit spare room.

You try to keep as quiet, silently breathing through your mouth. You listen to the movement next door starting to rumble the floorboards.

Glancing towards a couch near the door, you see a large black pile of body armor. You recognize the armor, they belong to Jerry.

The bear sized man would be in this very room within seconds.

Quickly making a decision, you head over towards the window. Opening the window frame and sliding right through the open space.

You would make sure they never knew you were hiding. Tumbling to the grass below, you groan at the hard thump. Glancing up from the ground you’re met with Rosita walking towards the front of the building.

Shit.

“Is the door not enough?” She asks.

“The door got stuck.” You lie with the worst excuse you’ve ever created. “I couldn’t get out of the damn room.” You add grunting as you climb to your feet.

Brushing off the dirt and single strands of grass from your clothes, you give Rosita a smile.

She crosses her arms over her chest and eyes you. “Somethings telling me that your story is a load of bullshit.” She remarks.

“Then let me make you understand. When one of the Savior showed up Daryl literally threw me over his shoulder and took me into a room to hide in.” You begin. “They weren’t done talking, so I snuck out.” You finish.

It was the truth, you may have altered the rest of the story but every other detail was true.

“Does Daryl know?” She asks keeping her dark emotionless eyes on you.

“No.” You answer proud of yourself.

“Guess again.” Daryl’s voice growls from behind you.

You jump in surprise, turning around to look to the redneck; you try to hide the chagrin expression from your face.

“Shit, we really need to put a bell around your neck.” You try to make a joke but none of them find it funny.

“Maybe you should have just followed your orders.” Daryl snaps.

Rosita starts walking past you with a smug smile.

_ Bitch. _

“What are you doing out here?” He asks.

“When you didn’t come back right away I decided to try and find out if you were okay.” You answer.

“I’m fine.”

“Well good, I’m fine too.” You knew you were testing his patience. “So uh, is the coast clear?” You ask deciding to change the subject.

“No, the savior is still within the walls.” He answers.

“He’s leaving right?” You ask.

_Please say yes._ You silently plead. You already missed who it was, at this point if he saw you it would be a problem.

“No, he’s going to be staying the night. He’s already been out far too long. He’d make it back to the sanctuary by nightfall which would make it suspicious.” Daryl answers.

Daryl obviously knew the mole more then you expected, the way he explained how it would look for him to walk back into the sanctuary walls at nightfall was a dead ringer that he’s worked with this asshole before.

“Am I-“

“Don’t worry, he’s going to be staying in Ezekiel’s guest room.” He answers. “Ezekiel will be leaving with Carol and the others.” He adds.

“And I-“

“You’re not going to be alone. Either you want to move into my room or I’ll move to yours.” He interrupts again. 

He wasn’t going to leave you alone while the savior was here, he doesn’t know if this savior was the one who was supposed to have kicked your ass. All you know, Daryl will be with you for the next eight hours to keep you safe.

“Okay, I can take my stuff to your room.” You answer.

“I’ll do it.” He shrugs.

Your walkie was almost at the top of the bag, if Daryl would grab it he was going to spot the bulky thing.

“No, it’s fine. I have to collect all my personal stuff.” You emphasize on the word personal.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, you can take your own stuff.” He realizes what you mean and directs the task for you.

He turns around to glance towards the others in the lawn. Probably making sure it was clear for you to head back into the building and up to your room.

“How about I personally escort you to your room?” He asks. If it weren’t for the mole being within these walls you would have sworn he was playing coy. Daryl turns back towards you and waits for an answer.

This man was worried for your safety, it was actually kind of adorable.

_ Behave! _

“Okay, yeah. That would make me feel a lot better.” You answer with a nod.

Daryl and you start towards the building. He keeps his eyes open for any sign of the savior. Leading you into the building, he makes you wait by the front door as he checks the rooms.

He comes back, quickly grabbing your hand he leads you up the stairs and into your room.

“So I take it as he was there?” You ask.

“He’s having a conversation with Rick and Ezekiel.” He answers closing the door as if the savior was going to come running to get you.

“So, did you hold my hand because you felt like it or was it to make me keep up with you?” You ask with a smirk.

Daryl rolls his eyes before turning towards you.

“Do I have to shut you up again?” He asks.

_ No, please don’t. _

“Just a question.” You answer. Moving towards the wardrobe you open it and turn to make sure Daryl wasn’t watching you.

Daryl’s hand grasps onto the doorknob to make sure no one comes in. His eyes directed to the knob.

With him distracted, you stuff your walkie further into the bag and grab the bag. You wouldn’t be able to talk with Negan tonight unless you got away for a few minutes. 

With the mole here in these walls, Daryl wouldn’t have you alone.

“You almost done?” He asks.

“Yes, lucky for you my panties are all folded in the bag.” You poke at the personal subject.

Daryl turns towards you once again, moving his eyes up and down your smaller frame.

“You think you’re cute?” He begins.

You shrug your shoulders. “I think I’m adorable.” You answer with a bright smile.

“I think you’re a pain in my ass.”

“I’ll take that too.” You answer with a chuckle. Walking towards him, Daryl opens the door and checks the area.

“Come on, they’re still talking.” He says leading you out of the room and towards his bedroom.

Walking inside you’re met with Carol packing her bags. She turns at the sound of the door opening.

“Hey.” She smiles towards Daryl and glances towards you. She gives you a small smile before turning her attention to her task.

“When y’all leaving?” Daryl asks.

“Right after Ezekiel and Rick are finished with their meeting.” She answers. Grabbing her bag, she throws it over her shoulder before turning towards Daryl and you.

“Do they have a plan?” Daryl asks.

You decide to act as if you were busy with getting yourself settled in the new room.

“They want him to get more info about Negan’s next move.” She answers.

“What kind of luck will he have if he’s gonna stay here? He needs to go with you.”

“He can’t, it’s too risky for him to join us.”

“Fuck that guy, you know I still don’t trust him. Fucking asshole could be leading y’all to a trap.” 

“He’s not, he really is trying to gain our respect.” Carol answers.

“Then I guess he shouldn’t have shot me, stole my vest and bike.” Daryl growls.

Daryl seemed like a motorcycle kind of guy, going back into your mind you remember a motorcycle in the sanctuary but never got a chance to see who it belonged to.

“You got it all back.” She says.

“Still don’t feel the same.” He answers.

You turn from your task and glance towards the two friends.

“I know it’s none of my business but the savior who’s here, if you guys don’t trust him then why’s he here?” You ask.

“He gives us info on the sanctuary’s next move. He has for a while.” Daryl answers.

“So we trust a few saviors?”

“No, none.”

“But you trust him?”

“Not even a little.” Daryl answers.

“So how do you know he’s telling the truth?” You ask.

“He’s been trying to make up for his past mistakes. Really, I think he’s just afraid of getting killed by Daryl.” Carol answers glancing towards the redneck.

“Serves him right.”

“So if this guy crosses you, would you kill him?” 

“Without a doubt.” Daryl answers.

Good to know. They didn’t trust this guy, but because of his help they kept him alive.   


_ Wonder if they’ll do that with me? _

Carol then turns towards Daryl, her hand gently touching his face. The way they were looking at each other make you feel like you were invading in a private moment.

“I better get down there.” She says softly.

Daryl moves closer towards her, his arms going around her in a very tight hug.

“Be safe.”

“Nine lives.” Carol answers in a whisper by his ear.

Hot damn, you never realized they were a thing. It made the pressure of the mutual flirting a past issue. Daryl was with Carol and it was obvious.

They let each other go, she looks into his eyes before walking out the door and leaving the room.

“Wished I would have had some popcorn.” You smirk.

“For what?” He asks.

“Uh, the romantic movie I just watched. Honestly I’m kinda turned on.” You smile.

“Shut up.” He says taking a seat on the couch.

“What? I’m not kidding. How long have you guys been a thing?”

“We’re not.” He answers coldly.

“Liar.”

“We’re not.” He answers with a growl.

“Why?”

“Ezekiel.” He answers plainly.

“That asshole? You have way more chances to get with her.”

“He’s kinda already made his move.”

“Then you should make your mark. You’ve known her longer.” You answer.

“Can we talk about something else?” He asks sounding uncomfortable.

“Okay.” You look around the room. There was only one couch in this room, which leaves one of you to sleep on the floor. “So did Carol and you share the couch?” You ask.

He rolls his eyes and stands to his feet. “I thought I asked you to change the subject.”

“You did, I’m just using my observation skills. Did you both sleep on the couch?”

“No, I sleep on the floor.” He answers with a growl.

“Ewe, really? Doesn’t your back hurt?”

“Used to it.” He answers quickly.

“Okay.” You nod. Glancing around the room you try to figure out where you could put your bag for the night. “Where do you want the bag?” You ask.

“You can put it next to the window.” Daryl points to the window.

Nodding you grab the bag and place it on the floor. You were going to have to find some privacy tonight. You need to make a call to Negan to let him know that Ezekiel would be heading back to The Kingdom. He needs to know that the plan worked.

“How do you think dinner is going to work?” You ask.

“I’ll grab a plate, the guy isn’t considered a prisoner here. He’s allowed to walk around these walls freely.”

“Not very safe.” You reply. 

“Yeah, I agree.” He answers.

The sound of shouting coming from outside the window turns your attention to the activity outside. Ezekiel and Carol share a horse, the others following behind on their own horses.

Daryl steps behind you watching outside. He lets out a sigh before walking towards the door.

“She’ll be okay.” You answer turning to glance towards the redneck.

“Yeah, I know. I just hate to see her go.” He says before walking out.

Yeah, watching the one you love leave without you is very hard. You’ve done it to Negan and he’s done it to you.

Taking a seat on the couch you begin to think about how close you are to finding out who the mole is, how close you are to heading back to The Sanctuary.

Daryl returns to the room and glances towards you on the couch. He takes the empty cushion next to you and lays his head against the arm rest.

“I’m gonna take a nap.” He says quietly.

“I’ll be so quiet you won’t know I’m even here.” You answer.

He doesn’t answer. He was nervous for Ezekiel and Carol. He couldn’t protect her from far, he couldn’t do anything to help. He was helpless here in The Hilltop.

Resting your head on the headrest of the couch, closing your eyes; you decide to take a nap as well. You had nothing else to do while being locked in a room with Daryl and the mole outside the room.

You would find a way to talk with Negan, until then you’ll wait here in the room. Napping the worries and stress of the day.


	22. Revelation

Waking to Daryl clearing his throat you sit up on the couch and turn to the redneck. You had no idea what time of day it was or if you missed dinner.

Daryl’s messing around with his crossbow. He turns towards you his fingers running along the strings.

“Did I wake you?” He asks.

“Not on purpose, I think it was a long enough nap.” You answer. “What are you doing?” You ask pointing to his crossbow.

“Just making sure my crossbow is lubed up and oiled enough.” He answers continuing to work on the crossbow.

“So you do have lube with you.” You joke.

Daryl’s face grows pink. “Shut up.” He smirks before turning back to his work.

You smile and watch Daryl work on his crossbow. You’ve been itching to ask Daryl about going out in the woods and trying hunting once again. 

You were nervous he would tell you no, or explain that it wasn’t a good idea because of what happened last time.

Gnawing on your bottom lip you contemplate about asking.

_He would probably be happy you ask to continue learning. Maybe he’ll be excited._ You try to convince yourself to ask.

“Daryl.” You begin.

He turns from his work and glances towards you. “Hmm?” He turns his head and continues working.

_ Can’t go back now. _

“Do, uh. Do you think we can go out and try hunting again?” You ask sounding as if you were afraid.

Daryl turns towards you, a smile playing on his face. “You want to go hunting again?” He asks.

His face glows with pride.

“Yeah, I want to learn more. Hunt more, bring food back. I want to make sure I know how to fend for myself in case-“ You stop, you don’t want to finish your sentence. He would be upset with you for thinking so negatively.

“In case what?” He asks. He keeps his eyes on you as he waits for you to answer. 

“Daryl-“

“In case we die? In case the group doesn’t last like the last ones you were with?”

“Yeah.” You answer before looking away. 

It was a load of bullshit, you weren’t afraid of Rick’s group dying off. You want to make sure you could bring back food to The Sanctuary once you’re back.

“How many times do I have to tell you that we’re stronger than those last couple groups?” He asks sounding exhausted with repeating the same answer. 

He wasn’t upset with you, he sounded like he was still trying to convince you that they could handle anything that comes their way.

“It’s just what I do.” You answer looking away.

It becomes silent in the room for a few seconds, he was thinking. He turned to think things through. He then turns towards you and places his crossbow on the floor.

“We can start up again, tomorrow.” He begins.

Glancing towards the redneck, you try not to look so upset that he wouldn’t just take you out of these walls now and teach you a little more.

“Tomorrow? Can’t we go out today and hunt some stuff now?” You ask pressing your luck.

Daryl shakes his head with a grunt. “Nah, it’s gonna be dark soon. There will be more threats hunting us down; than us hunting anything else.” He answers honestly.

Of course you didn’t think of it like that, he’s hunted these woods longer than you and knows what is out there while he waits for a squirrel or rabbit.

“There’s also a lot more walkers out there then normal.” He adds.

You knew his mind was leading back to Carol and her safety. 

“Right, okay.” You nod your head. 

Daryl keeps his eyes on you, he gnaws on his bottom lip trying to make up for missing a hunting lessons for the night. “We’ll go early in the morning, like we did last time.” He stops and begins to replay the last time the both of you were out there hunting.

“It’ll go a lot better then last time.” You answer.

He nods gently, trailing his mind back to tomorrow’s hunting fiasco. Glancing towards his crossbow, he turns and give you a small smile.

“What?” You ask.

“I have an idea.” He says before standing up quickly and lending his hand towards you. Grabbing his hand, he lifts you to your feet and walks towards the bedroom door.

“Where are we going?” You ask.

“You’ll see when we get there.” He says. Opening the door, he checks around the area and leads you down the stairs towards the lobby and main door. 

Following Daryl out the door and into the lawn, you wave towards Bre who was cooking with her husband. Daryl and you walk to the left side of the building towards the infirmary and the other trailers.

He leads you towards a trailer you’ve never been inside, the girl named Tara sits outside the door reading a comic book.

She lifts her eyebrows when she hears the both of you approaching.

“Daryl, how’s it going?” She asks.

“Could be better, not to much to complain about.”

_Besides Carol leaving._ You want to say out loud.

“So, what’s the new girl and you planning on finding in here?” She asks glancing towards you.

“He hasn’t told me what the trailer really is, so I guess I’ll find out when we get inside.” You answer.

Your curiosity was growing, what was behind these walls.  


_ Could it be a screaming goat they saved on a past run? Could it be a roomful of older women knitting up sweaters for the winter that was coming? _

“Okay, we’ll have fun.” She smiles towards you before turning her attention back towards her comic book.

_It had to be a jumping castle, what else would be fun?_ You try to keep a straight face at the ridiculous thoughts.

Daryl opens the door, leading you inside the room. The shock of the room being filled, walls covered and shelves filled with weapons.

“Holy shit.” You gasp. “This is your armory?”

You couldn’t believe it. Negan had taken a lot of their guns before you came around. He had said he always thought Rick’s people were holding out on him.

_He was fucking right._

“Like it?” He asks.

“Like it? This is freaking awesome.” Walking towards a large metal you lift an eyebrow before turning and pointing to the massive gun. “Is that a bazooka?” You ask.

“Yup, only problem is we don’t have anymore ammo for this baby.” He answers.

“Please tell my you got to shoot it.” You smile.

“Once, right into some of Negan’s men.” He answers.

You almost choke on your gasp. Negan once explained to you about his history with Rick’s group. How they ended up meeting them and how many of the Saviors Rick and the others they had killed.

You decide to change the subject. Moving to a shelf with tons of different guns, you lift it and examine the craftsmanship. “You didn’t just bring me here for me to drool over these weapons. Tell me what I’m really here for.” You begin; glancing over your shoulder towards Daryl.

“I brought you in here, so you can find yourself a better weapon then that dumb ass hammer.” He answers pointing to the hammer at your hip.

“What’s wrong with my hammer?” You ask touching the item on your hip.

“You need something better than a hammer. Who do you think you are? Thor?” 

You chuckle at the unrealistic comparison.

“I’ve had this hammer with me since the beginning.” You admit. This hammer has kept you safe, kept you alive and was the only weapon you had until you found your machete.

“Well it’s time for an upgrade.” He answers leading you further into the armory. “Check everything out, tell me what you like.” He says.

Walking along the aisle of guns, large buck knives, bows and one pair of nunchucks. Meeting Daryl’s eye, you make your way back towards the crossbows and bows.

Grabbing one of the bows and a quiver of arrows, you turn towards Daryl with a smirk.

“You want me to teach you how to use a bow and arrow?” Daryl asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, I kinda already know a little bit about archery. My mom and dad thought I would be an Olympian when I grew up. They were wrong.” You chuckle at the thought of your parents making you take archery.

“In that case, show me what you’ve got.” He says pointing towards a target along the farther wall of the trailer.

Swallowing down the nervousness; you wrap the quiver around your back. Holding into the stabilizer you reach back and grab an arrow. Loading the arrow into the arrow shelf, pulling back on the bow string and aim towards the target.

It’s been years since you’ve shot an arrow at a target; you were so young then. Hated the sport so much that you would deliberately do bad so your parents would pull you out of the class.

You take a deep breath in, calmly letting the breath out as you let go of the bow string and watch the arrow fly directly to the second circle around the target.

“I’m a bit rusty.” You answer feeling a tad embarrassed for missing the center. Walking towards the target you pull the arrow from the wall and place it back in the quiver.

“You did better then I thought. All you need to do is keep practicing and you’ll be able to shoot perfect. Hunting will be very easy for you.” He says with a grin.

“I get to keep it?” You ask.

“Uh, yeah. We’ll find more. Not very many people use the bows.” He answers, leading you out of the trailer with your new weapon in hand.

Tara glances towards you with a smirk. “Well, looks like you’ve got yourself a little competition.” 

“He’s got a few years on me.” You answer with a smirk.

Daryl thanks Tara and leads you back towards the building. Walking along side the redneck, the smell of the amazing dinner wafts into your nose.

“Looks like dinners just about ready.” Daryl says glancing towards you. He then looks around the lawn and back towards you when he doesn’t find what he was looking for. “The Savior isn’t out here yet. How about you go back to the room and I’ll wait in line for our plates.” He suggests.

_ There he goes again trying to keep me safe and away from any kind of danger. _

“Sounds like a plan.” You answer.

“We’ll have our dinner on the roof again.” Just the thought make your stomach flip.

“You like scaring me, don’t you?” You groan at the thought of being so high again.

“Pretty much.”

Rolling your eyes, you head back into the building. Entering the building, you notice the office door wide open and room empty of people. The mole was somewhere around The Hilltop.

Afraid of running into him, you quickly run up the stairs and into the bedroom Daryl and you now share.

Once inside the room, you walk towards the window and eye the long forming line. Daryl was practically at the end of the line. You would be waiting a little while for your meal.

Realizing this was your personal time and you would be alone for a little while, you kneel down and stuff your hand into your backpack. Pulling out the walkie talkie, you turn on the plastic device and listen to the static at the other end.

“Come in, Negan.” You announce into the walkie.

The sound of static meets your ears once again. He was possibly busy, hopefully trying to keep The Sanctuary safe and from keeping his mind off of what could be happening to his men in The Kingdom.

“Daddy, come in.” You release the button and smile towards the plastic. If he heard you calling him that name again he would try to make his way back to The Hilltop just to fuck your brains out.

“Daddy.” You whisper into the walkie.  


_ He has to be around somewhere. _

“Doll, if you’re gonna call me that on the walkie. Then I expect you to call me that in person.” Negan finally answers your call. His voice sounding as if he wasneedy with desire.

“I’ll think about it.” You answer with a shrug. “Listen, I wanted to let you know that the mole did arrive to The Hilltop. Ezekiel and some of the others are headed back to The Kingdom.” You begin, you knew this was a little much for one call but you were happy that your plan worked.

“Did you figure out who the mole is?” Negan asks sounding curious.

You wish you could tell him you knew who it was, you wanted to give him the answer and head right back to him. Unfortunately, you had no damn clue.

“No, haven’t got a chance to see him yet. It’s a man.” Shocker, you want to add. “I never got the chance to see him, Daryl took me away from the gates before he had a chance to come in. Daryl was afraid that the person who did this to my face is the mole.” You explain.

Static reaches your ears, you knew Negan didn’t just turn off his radio.  


Knowing Negan he was probably thinking about what he did to you again, he knew what he did was wrong and over the edge. 

_ Negan wouldn’t know how bad the damage really is. _

“Did it get worse after I left?” Negan finally asks.

“Yeah, let’s just say the doctor told me that only time would heal the wounds.” You answer.

“Fuck.” He whispers. “Doll, I’m sorry.” He apologizes for his mistake.

You take a couple deep breaths, watching the line where Daryl remains. 

“I just wanted you to know that the plan worked.” You explain. “I don’t want to make you feel guilty.” You answer.

“Too late Doll, I feel like shit when I think about it.” He answers. He continues holding onto the button, his breathing hitching when he begins once again. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” You answer. “How’s everything on your end?” You ask wanting to hear more about The Sanctuary.

“Not great; while I was in my meeting with the saviors one of my wives disappeared.” He answers.

A wife left?  


How could that be possible? The sanctuary was surrounded by guards and people.

“How did she get out?” You ask wanting to get more information.

Keeping your eye on the line, Daryl remained in the same spot as he waits for the line to move.

“Fuck if I know. Some of my other wives are keeping silent.” He growls at the other end just thinking about their betrayal.

“Where could she have gone?” You ask to yourself but kept your finger pushing on the button.

“Doll, the only question you should be asking is ‘which wife ran away?’” 

He was right; it was the most important question but you couldn’t seem to really care who it was. Negan knew you hated his wives, in fact you were kinda happy one left. 

It was just one less competition you needed to deal with. 

Realization hits you. During your outburst yesterday with Negan, he had said he was with one of his wives. You thought he was telling you he was sleeping with her while you were calling but he was really talking with her, the only wife he talks with. The only wife he shares some of his little issues with.

The only wife that went missing.

“Sherry.” You whisper into the mic.

“Damn Doll, are you sure you’re still at The Hilltop?Not all of the saviors would know that, in fact only one knows and I beat the living shit out of him because he was supposed to be keeping watch.” He explains.

“Does Dwight know?” You ask wondering if the Saviors returned to The Sanctuary since their journey this morning.

The line begins to move, people grab plates as they walk to the makeshift kitchen. You knew you were gonna have to let Negan go soon. If Daryl were to find out or catch you on the walkie it would be game over.

“No, he left with the group this morning. I’ll have to tell him when he gets back.” He answers.

Daryl finally reaches the makeshift kitchen, grabbing two plates for each of you. Daryl starts walking towards the building only to stop and glance towards the distance. 

You try to eye who Daryl was looking at but can’t see because of the building being in the way. Whoever he was glaring at, Daryl really didn’t like.

“Negan, I’m gonna have to let you go. One of Rick’s people are on their way up here. I love you.” You explain as your heart begins to pound with panic.

“I love you too.” He answers before you switch off the radio and stuff the plastic into your backpack.

Daryl walks inside second after you zipped up the bag. He walks towards you with a smirk and hands you one of the plates.

“Took long enough” You smirk.

“Well, there’s a shit ton of people out there. Line was huge.” He answers. “Ready to eat on the roof?” He asks.

You grumble to yourself thinking of having to leave the safety of the bedroom to eat on the ledge of the building. “Uh, sure.” You grumble.

He smirks before heading towards the window and beginning to climb out and onto the roof. You hand him your plate so you could grab onto the windowsill, turning slightly you glance down toward the yard. 

You spot a long haired blonde man standing by Gregory. You knew that man anywhere, you knew that burnt face instantly.

Dwight.

_ He was the mole all along, the double crossing son of a bitch. _

Everything made sense now, what was going on and why he was here. Dwight was angry that Negan would take his wife Sherry away from him. Sherry hated that Dwight never stood up to Negan, claiming her as his real wife. It left Dwight alone, he no longer hand anything else to live for.

Dwight being inside The Hilltop walls was your answer, Dwight knew Sherry was gone. He was here to help the enemy.

He was going to make Negan pay.

“Daryl, uh. You stop and pull back.” Your stomach feeling sick at the thought of Negan in trouble.

“You good?” He asks.

You shake your head feeling bile rise in your throat. You were going to vomit.

“Hey.” He climbs back into the room. Leading you towards a small waste basket you being to heave your lunch into the trash. “Okay, get it out.” He says.

Once finished, you pull back from the trash and try to calm your shaky body. 

“You know you could just tell me you don’t want to sit on the roof.” He tries to lighten the mood.

“That’s not funny.” You answer with embarrassment reaching your voice.

“We can eat in here. I’m fine with it.” He says guiding you towards the couch and grabbing your plate from the window ledge.

You couldn’t eat even if you wanted. Daryl places the plate by your side. He walks out the room with the waste basket.

What were you going to do?  


How could you help Negan?

* * *

You sit on the couch trying to think of a plan to get back to Negan. You weren’t sure you had it in you to walk your ass back to The Sanctuary.

Daryl clears his throat from the cushion next to you, he glances towards the food at your side that yet to be touched.

You ignore Daryl clearing his throat a second time as you try to figure out all the options, you have to keep Negan safe and how to get back to him.

“You good?” Daryl asks pulling you out of thought.

“What?” You ask missing the first half of the question.

Daryl scrunches his eyebrows together in concern. He was silently trying to fingers out what had happened. He knew you got sick, but he didn’t understand why.

“I said, ‘You’ve been quiet since you got sick. Are you okay’?” He repeats. Keeping his eyes on you, he waits for you to answer.

You didn’t remember Daryl coming back in the room after leaving with the trash. You couldn’t recall Daryl eating his meal or how long it’s been since he’s even finished his food.

You try to give a smile towards the redneck, to give him a reassuring answer.

“Oh, yeah.” You nod gently. Trying not to return back to your thoughts of Negan, you keep your eyes on your lap and think of ways to keep from walking out of the room and killing Dwight.

“You sure? You haven’t even taken a bite of your dinner.” He answers, eyeing the plate of untouched food.

“Still not feeling so good.” You answer truthfully.

“I told you already, fear of heights can cause that.” He tries to reassure you on what had happened earlier.

“Yeah but I’m still embarrassed.” You answer. You were happy the unfortunate sickness caused the distraction from seeing Dwight.

“Don’t need to be. That shit happens.” He answers kindly. “You’re human.”

You nod, keeping your eyes directed towards your lap you let out a small breath. Daryl’s being so kind to you it was starting to make you feel like an asshole. He was trying to make you understand that what happened wasn’t going to define who you are. It was one unfortunate incident.

“You need to eat something.” He says gently towards you.

You couldn’t possibly eat a thing. You were worried about Negan, angry you couldn’t do anything to Dwight within these walls.   


If it were up to you; you would haul your ass right out this room, towards Dwight and confront him. Of course you wouldn’t be kind about it.   


He was causing Negan more stress then he would like to admit, distracting the both of you from the love you want to share and it was pissing you the hell off.

“I can’t.” You answer.

“You can, and you will.” He begins. “You need to eat a few pieces of the meat.” He adds, pointing to the meat on your plate.

Glaring towards Daryl, you shoot daggers towards the redneck in irritation. This was not going to happen, he was not going to make you eat with a upset stomach.

“You can look at me like that all you want, you’re still gonna eat somethin’.” Daryl says.

You roll your eyes in irritation. You knew you were acting like a child but damn it, you didn’t want to eat anything and Daryl was forcing you.

“Fine.” You grab the plate forcefully, grabbing the piece of meat you bite off the corner. Chewing the meat, you realize Daryl was still watching. With your mouthful of chewed food you open your mouth to show him the food inside your mouth.

“Smart ass.” He says turning his head away from you. Daryl then moves off the couch and sits on the floor leaning his back against the furniture.

A smirk reaches your lips as you continue to chew the food. The food was actually very tasty, even though it was cold.  


Glancing towards Daryl, you knew you were definitely acting like a child now. He was trying to take care of you.  


Is it that difficult for you to accept someone’s help?  


Swallowing the mouthful of meat, you try to make up for your childish behavior. “Sorry you weren’t able to watch the sunset tonight.” You start up a conversation, you try to show him that you weren’t angry.

Daryl shrugs his shoulders. “It’s fine, I’d rather sit in here then have you get sick again.” He says glancing towards you.

You nod your head in understanding. “Thanks.”You take another bite of the meat.

Daryl nods with a grunt.

Your mind trails off to the night ahead of you. You would both be getting sleepy soon and you would end up sleeping in the same room.  


This would be the first time you’ve slept in a room with a man in years. For god sakes, you haven’t even slept in the same bed as Negan yet.

“Just so you know, I’m a very light sleeper.” You explain to Daryl.

He glances towards you once again his eyes bright with amusement. He wasn’t expecting you to change the subject so quick but he wasn’t disappointed either.

“Alright, I’ll make sure I tiptoe around in the morning.” He answer with a smirk.

“That’s too kind.” You reply with a cheeky grin.

Daryl’s eyes remain on you as you sit on the couch in silence.

Why was he staring at you? What could he be thinking?

_ Why am I slightly comforted by his stare? _

“Anything else I can help you with Dixon?” You ask.

He then lets a smile appear across his face. 

“Yeah, since it’s about that time for bed. Do I get a goodnight kiss?” 

_ Daryl Dixon is a true comedian. _

“Yeah.” You nod. Placing your plate onto the empty cushion next to you, you begin to move to the edge of the couch. “Let me get up so you can kiss my ass.” You finally answer.

Daryl chuckles. “You’re witty. My brother used to be witty too.” He says with a shake of his head.

Daryl’s never talked about his past with you. It was something personal and deep to share about your past.

“Was your brother as persistent as you?” You ask.

He nods. “Yeah, but mostly an asshole.”

“So, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Daryl chuckles once again, shaking his head he eyes you once again.

“I guess not.” He answer as he shakes his head. “But I’m a lot different from our first run, right?” He asks.

You nod your head. “Yeah, you’re not so bad.” You answer.

“I told you.” He smirks before moving down to lay on his back. “Well, I’m gonna try and rest my eyes. Whatever you can’t eat just leave it on the table, I’ll take it to Gregory.”

You then let out a laugh. “That’s pretty fucked up. I like it.”

“Fuck that guy.” He smirks.

“Yeah, fuck that guy.” You repeat after him.

Glancing towards Daryl, you think about how far you’ve both come. You never thought you would get to know him, never knew you would even like the man as a human being.

Now you both are joking about giving the biggest asshole of the group your leftovers.

Your stomach twists thinking about the day you return to The Sanctuary and the war between both groups begins.

How were you to kill any of these people you’ve gotten to know. Could you even kill any of them? Could you kill Daryl?

Why were you having second thoughts about this?


	23. Walker Blood

_“Doll.” Negan whispers laying in his bed with his arm around you._

_ He was shirtless which means he and you had just had an amazing time, his head was still damp from sweat as he glances towards you with his eyes filled with love. _

_ “Yes?” You ask placing your hand on his cheek, you couldn’t get enough of this man. He was desired even when you’re upset, he’s loving even when you don’t want him to be. Negan was the man you’ve waited for all your life. _

_ “I’m happy you’re back home. I needed you with me. You’re my muse, the light at the end of this fucking long tunnel. You’re the reason I’m living.”  _

_You give him a deep kiss, your tongues dancing together. His hands roaming around your naked body. The warmth of his body comforting you. You pull back and gaze into his eyes._

_ “I’m happy to be back too. I couldn’t handle being with them any longer.” You shake your head thinking about being inside The Hilltop. _

_ “Even with Daryl?” He asks. _

_ “Daryl?” You ask confused. _

_ “Yeah.” His face turns to a darker shade of red. “You didn’t think I would find out?” He asks. _

_ “Find out what?” You ask in fear. _

_ How would he have found out? It was just Daryl and I, no one else would know. _

_ “That fucking kiss.” He says with a growl. “I thought I told you what I would do if he touched you.” He finishes. _

_ “Negan, I can explain.” _

_ “I don’t need to hear anymore of your goddamn lies.” He shouts, moving off the bed he pulls you out from under the sheets. You land on your knees with a slam. _

Waking you realize you were having the most vivid dream. It felt so real like Negan was there with you, like he was so upset with you about something that never meant anything to you.

Looking around the room, you realize Daryl wasn’t around. The night sky showing a hint of a hue of light at the distance.

It was the morning, Daryl and you will be going out for a morning hunt. With excitement, you get changed and ready for the day. Grabbing your bow and quiver of arrows, you open the door to the room.

Walking towards the stairs, you quickly head down to the main floor. You’re excited to learn more about hunting, you’ve been looking forward to this all night.

Noticing Daryl by the office door, he turns at the sound of your shoes hitting the last of the stairs. You point towards the bow in your hand and give a thumbs up, you wanted to show him that you were ready.

Daryl let’s out a sigh and shakes his head. He points towards the closed office door and silently apologizes.

“Why?” You walk up towards him, from behind the door you could hear the others having a meeting. “Why are you out here?” You ask.

“They don’t know I’m awake yet. I’m waiting for them to finish their conversation then I’ll head inside.”

“So this means we can’t go out?” You ask.

“Yeah, we’ll have to do it later. Maybe tomorrow.” He says in a whisper, he was trying to be considerate for the others in the meeting room.

“I’m not gonna wait till tomorrow.” You shake your head. You wanted to learn more today, you needed to get out of here so Dwight wouldn’t see you.

“You’re gonna have to.”

“No, I’m not.” You answer. Turning towards the main doors you start to the door. Daryl grabs your arm before you have a chance to walk outside.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“I’m going hunting. I know a little, I just want more practice.” You answer.

“Not without me.”

“I’ll be fine Daryl.” You answer getting your arm out of his grasp and walking outside the building.

“I can’t protect you when I’m not there.” He says shouting out the doors as you head towards the gate.

“I don’t need protection Daryl. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.” You answer.

He watches you head to the gate, giving a whistle towards James on watch. He nods towards the others along the wall when he notices your weapon in hand.

The gates open for you to exit, this was going to be good for you. Learning how to hunt on your own, yes it would be better with Daryl with you but you were going to need to do it without him someday.

Glancing behind your shoulder; you see Daryl continuing to watch you as you head towards the woods.

* * *

You’ve been walking through the woods for a while, your luck wasn’t like it had been when Daryl was with you the last time.

You haven’t really seen or heard any movement, trying your hardest to keep as quiet as possible; you continue further into the woods.

Deciding to take a small break, you take a seat on a log. Keeping your weapons ready for any sign of dead or game, you remain silent.

As you sit you begin to think about your dream from last night. 

Negan found out about the kiss that Daryl and you had shared. It wasn’t a kiss of want or passion, it was only a kiss to put you into shock.

Negan wouldn’t care either way, he would still get pissed if he found out it even happened. 

“Negan will never find out.” You explain to yourself. “It never happened, if you ask me.” 

But it did happen.

You try to shake the thought of your mind. This wasn’t going to ruin your peace and quiet out here. The thought dawns on you, this was the first time in weeks since you’ve actually been on your own.

_I missed this._ You smile thinking about the freedom away from people and away from stress.

You were free to be yourself out here.

A groan from behind your right shoulder causes you to tense. Glancing back, you realize there were more dead walkers then you liked.

Getting up from the log, you grab an arrow from your quiver in case you needed to use it. Heading to the left side of the woods, you begin to speed walk away from the dead.

Maybe they wouldn’t see you. 

Glancing behind your back, you notice a few of them following after you. 

_Of course, what else is new._ You roll your eyes at the thought of your “peace and quiet” being ruined once again.

Continuing to the left of the woods, leading the dead further into the woods. Glancing ahead, you notice you were approaching the edge of the woods that leads to a road.

This has to be the road that leads to The Hilltop. You explain to yourself as you glance behind you to see how many of the dead followed you.

Turning to look at the edge of the clearing, maybe if you make it to the other side of the road you could lose the dead?

Checking the right side of the road which leads to The Hilltop; is clear of any other dead. Glancing to the left you notice a large truck parked on the side of the road.

Stopping in your path, you take a step back realizing you would have to stay on this side of the woods.

Who knows if there was actually someone in the truck? 

Letting out an exasperated groan; you will need to kill all the dead walkers that followed you this far.

Turning around; your back facing the road. You count the dead wobbling and groaning as they continue walking towards you. 

“Six, I’m going to have to kill six of you.” You whisper.

Dropping you bow and arrows, you weren’t that experienced with that weapon just yet that you knew better then to rely on it.

Grabbing your machete from the sheath, you walk further into the woods and wait for the closest dead walkers to reach you.

The first male dead geek stalks towards you with a groan, swinging the machete; you hit him directly in the middle of his head. Tossing him to the ground, you stab the female roamer through the middle of her forehead. Swinging your blade as if it were a sword, you cut the head off of the next female geek.

Tightening your hold on the machete, the male dead approaches you. Stabbing the side of his head, his groaning stopping as the blade reaches the brain. 

You try to pull out the blade but find it stuck in his head.

Kicking him to the ground, along with the blade remaining in his head. You grab your handy hammer from your hip.

The next dead lurches towards you but you slam the hammer head into her brain before she could reach you. With only one geek left you let a prideful smile spread across your face.

The next geek groans towards you, lifting your arm and hammer you wait for him to reach you. He stumbles over his dead geek friends, almost falling causing his hand to grasp onto your raised arm.

Your hammer falls to the ground with a heavy thud. You try to pull your wrist from his grasp but find his hold a little difficult to escape.

Shit, how am I going to get myself out of his grasp?

You continue to try pulling your arm from him, his mouth bitting air awaiting your fresh flesh. The both of you pull on your arm back and forth line a game of tug-of-war.

He groans, using his other hand to grab your left arm. 

_ Shit, he has both of my wrists now.  _

_ How am I going to survive this? _

_ What am I going to do? _

He leans closer towards you, face inches from yours. The smell of his putrid flesh turns your empty stomach.

He bites thin air, teeth snapping closer and closer to your neck.

_Hell no, I’m not going to die like this._ You declare to yourself.

Pushing your body weight towards him, you use your leg to trip him so he would fall backwards. 

The both of you end up tumbling to the ground together. 

Even after the fall he still had your wrists in his grasp, his back laying against the ground. He snaps and groan at you wanting your flesh.

Straddling his torso, you realize you had only a few seconds until he sinks his teeth into your skin. You refuse to let him kill you that way. 

You wiggle your wrists, his grasp not as tight as before at you are able to turn your wrist in his grasp. 

You knew what you have to do. It wasn’t going to be fun but at least you would be free.

Locking your wrists with his, you turn both of your arms so they form a V; both your elbows pointing up towards the trees. Releasing your grasp on his wrists, you turn your wrists to repeat the same action.

The dead geeks elbow joints crack from you twisting his arms like clock hands.

The sound of the bones in his arms breaking almost makes you sick. If he were alive this would be extremely painful. Trying to keep your mind off the fact that he was once human, you continue the gruesome movements.

You need to survive, you need to make it back to The Sanctuary to live your life with Negan. 

If twisting his arms off like the way you twist an apple’s stem from fruit was going to be the way you continue living, then this will be the way you will survive.

Continuing the twisting, his left arm loosens from the joint. With a couple loud grunts from you and burning muscles; you pull hard enough that his arm finally disconnects from his body.

Grabbing the forearm of his unattached limb, you begin to slam the radius and ulna into his skull.

Dark red blood paints the ground beneath and the front half of your body. When the dead is finally motionless, you climb to your feet and pant for breath.

You have just survived the most ruthless killing spree you have ever done. 

You could only imagine what you looked like. Body covered in someone else’s blood, eyes filled with rage and the hunger for survival.

Grabbing your hammer from the ground and pulling the machete out of the dead’s skull like the excalibur, you turn and start back towards the side of the road.

The truck was in the same spot, in case anyone were in the truck you remain hidden inside the woods. Walking in the direction of the truck, you try to keep yourself as far from the edge as possible.

Once you come close enough to the truck you stop, you recognize the vehicle.

This truck belongs to the Saviors.

_ Why was the saviors truck in the middle of the woods? _

_ Did they abandon the vehicle here? _

Wanting to investigate the automobile you take slow steps closer to the edge of the woods.

Noticing movement from inside the truck you stop in fear of the mystery person noticing you.

Kneeling to the ground, you crawl towards a large bush by the clearing.

Who was in the truck?

The sound of a vehicle approaching from the right side of the street pulls your attention from the truck. A 1995 gray Honda Accura pulls up and parks I the opposite side of the road.

This car was coming from The Hilltop.

The driver door opens, anger washes over you when Dwight steps out of the gray car.

He starts walking towards the middle of the road, stopping a few feet away from the Saviors truck.

The sound of the truck door opens and closes. Footsteps from behind the large tires reach your ears.

The anticipation was killing you, you wanted to know who in the hell was meeting Dwight.

Stepping out from behind the truck, in his denim jeans, button up shirt and black boots.

Simon.

_ What the actual fuck? _

“Does Negan know you’re gone?” Dwight asks.

“No, it’s none of his goddamn business. Did you get anything from The Hilltop?” Simon asks changing the subject from him back to Dwight.

“They want us to get Negan to investigate an area for goods.” He says. “He wouldn’t expect Rick Grimes to be there waiting for him.” 

“No, Negan is mine. I’m sick of the way he’s running The Sanctuary. I could have ended this weeks ago.” Simon growls.

“Rick wants-”

“I don’t give a rats ass what Rick wants. He’s lucky he’s still breathing. We were so close to having him but Negan is playing games. Screwing us over just to play around with his damn boyfriend Rick Grimes.” Simon spits.

“You don’t think I want Negan dead? He made my wife hate me and now what? She’s gone, I don’t know where she is.” Dwight shouts.

“Dwight, calm down.”

“No, you’re angry because he’s focusing on Rick more then you but Negan actually took everything from me. I’m going to go back to The Sanctuary and let Negan know about the area that needs to be patrolled. I’m going to lead him to Rick, I’m going to sit in the corner and watch Rick kill Negan.”

_ The hell you are. _

“Listen, we need to work together in this. We both hate Negan, we both want him dead. How about we do our own thing.” Simon begins. “Do something completely different then what Rick has suggested.”

Dwight seems to have a hint of interest in Simons suggestion.

“What do you have in mind?” Dwight asks.

Simon gives Dwight a smile once he convinced the burnt man to work along side him.

“Let’s play Rick’s little game. We’ll send Negan with some of our disposable saviors to that bullshit location. We’ll make sure Rick isn’t the one who ends up killing Negan. We’ll leave the fun for us.”

_ Fun? These two are sick. _

Dwight nods at the idea. “Alright, sounds good.” He gives a smile. “We can take our time with him. Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine.” 

Simon nods. “An iron to the face, some fun with Lucille. We can figure out all kinds of ways to torture the sick son of a bitch.”

“Torturing him in cell A; will be added to the list. We’ll make Negan wish for death while he’s in there; naked and afraid.” Dwight adds with a nod.

“I like the way you think Dwight.” Simon grins. “Let’s meet up again in two days and make up more plans on how we’re going to make this work. I’m gonna need to head back to the Sanctuary, someone’s going to wonder where I am.” 

“I’ll meet you there.” Dwight replies.

Simon nods, he begins to turn to walk back towards the truck but stops when he remembers something. “By the way, the saviors caught up with that group from The Kingdom. Assholes killed everyone of them except for Gavin.”

“You’re shitting me?”

“Nope, they wanted to make sure Gavin survived to give The Saviors a message.”

“What was the message?” Dwight asks.

You want to know as well. What kind of important message did they have to send out?

“It was more like a warning, they said ‘If you ever come back to our community without our King, next time there won’t be survivors.’”

Dwight shakes his head in disbelief. “Rick’s got himself some strong allies.”

“For now.” Simon answers. “We’ll kill Rick too.”Simon takes a step backwards towards the truck.

“It won’t be easy.” Dwight answers.

“No, but we’ll end Rick’s entire entourage one by one.” Simon shouts once he turns his back towards Dwight and reaches the truck.

The sound of the trucks driver door opening and closing, the rumble of the engine coming to life. He turns the truck around and heads back to the Sanctuary.

Dwight walks back towards the car, he takes a couple deep breaths once he reaches the vehicle. 

You could tell Dwight was dealing with some inner demons, possibly thinking about all the things he’s lost.

“Fuck.” He whispers to himself. He kicks the side of the car with his boot, grabbing his head he pulls the roots of his hair. “Fuck!” He shouts as if he were in pain.

You continue to watch in silence, the man was losing his mind every moment that passes. He’s so lost it almost breaks your heart.

Almost.

Dwight then loosens his grip on his hair, opening the door to the vehicle. Climbing inside, he closes the door quickly before letting out a scream and pulls on the steering wheel as if he was trying to tear it off.

Knowing this was the last thing you really needed to watch helps you prepare to leave. Backing up from your hiding place you walk back into the woods.

You might not have found a deer or any kind of game,but you sure as shit learned a lot more then you planned.  


* * *

Reaching The Hilltop gates, you whistle to the guards to make sure they know your ready to head back inside the safety of the walls.

James leans over to glance over the edge of the wall, noticing you standing there he points his gun towards you.

“No, I’m not dead.” You shout.

He recognizes you, carrying your new weapon around your shoulder. Body drenched in dried blood.

“Shit.” He says before nodding towards the others to acknowledge your first request to open the gate. James then turns around, shouting for Rick and Daryl.

The gate begins to open wide enough, you walk through the gravelly sidewalk into the safety of the walls.

Noticing Daryl gasping at the sight of you, Rick walks towards the gates where you remain standing. Daryl runs up towards you, reaching you before Rick.

“Please tell me non of that blood is yours.” Daryl pleads.

“It’s not.” You answer plainly. You don’t want to seem distant minded, but when you meet Rick’s stare you pass up Daryl.

“Hey, I’m trying to make sure you’re okay.” Daryl says grabbing your hand. He pulls you out of your trance and causes you to eye him.

“I’m fine. Really.” You reassure Daryl.

“That isn’t very convincing.” He says grabbing your arm and trying to eye if any of the blood on your body is your. “Let me ask again, does any of this blood belong to you?” He asks.

“No, I ran into a couple of geeks.” You answer.

“I told you not to go. You should have listened to me.” Daryl growls in frustration.

“Yeah, you’re right. I should have gone with you instead but I don’t regret it.” You answer.

Rick finally reaches the both of you, his eyes roaming around your stained body. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. We need to talk.” You answer with a nod.

He tilts his head in wonder, he opens his mouth to answer but Daryl grunts in reply.

“We’re gonna get you cleaned up first.” Daryl says.

“Daryl, I said I’m fine.”

“Well that’s fucking great but I want to make sure that none of the walkers fucking scratched you.” He shouts with anger.

At this point you knew better then to say anything else to anger Daryl. He’s pissed at you for coming back to The Hilltop stained in blood. Keeping your comments to yourself, you let Daryl lead you towards the infirmary.

The whole situation reminds you of the first day you met Negan and the other saviors.

Daryl opens the door to the infirmary, helping you climb up the stairs he leads you into the room with Enid and Siddiq.

“Oh my god.” Enid gasps at the sight of you.

“I’m fine.” You reassure the young girl with a wave of your hand.

“Shut up.” Daryl growls towards you. “She still needs to be checked. Scratches, a bite, maybe even check her for a damn concussion since she thinks she’s ‘fine’.” Daryl mocks your tone of voice which is kinda hilarious.

“Enid, take her to the back room and check her out.” Saddiq orders kindly towards the young girl. “You know where the sponges are.” He adds.

She nods quickly, giving you a nervous smile she grabs your hand. “Come on, let me get you cleaned up and check you out.” She instructs before leading you to the back room, which was just a blanket covering a doorframe to a smaller room.

You stop in front of an operating table, she lets go of your hand and begins to grab all the items she’s going to use to clean you up and check you out.

“Uh, I need you to undress.” She stammers, her voice shaky and filled with nervousness.

You wanted to try and lighten the mood for her sake but she was so nervous it would probably fluster her even more.

You begin to undress, your clothes peeling off your body like another layer of skin. Glancing over towards the young girl, you wonder if she wants you to take off your bra and panties.

“All of it?” You ask.

Enid turns to look towards you, her eyes darting across your red stained body.

“Uh, for learning purposes.” She stops and thinks. “Yeah, I think it would be a good idea. I think we have some clean clothes in the back for you to wear after we’re finished.” She answers.

You nod, she turns back around to finish her task. Without another thought, you begin to unhook your bra and pull your panties down.

Tossing the bloody clothes onto a pile by the table, you wait patiently until Enid tells you what to do.

The young girl turns around with her utensils in hand and eyes your body. You felt a bit of heat raise to your face with embarrassment but damn it if Negan likes your body then it means it was good enough for anyone else to see.

She walks up to the table, trying to keep her eyes off of the exposed flesh in front of her. Grabbing the sponge from the soapy tub of water she was holding, she makes sure to squeeze the excess water out.

Glancing into your eyes she gives you a nervous smile. “I’m going to use the sponge to clean your body now. If you feel uncomfortable at all, please let me know.” She finishes.

“Okay.” You nod quickly.

Enid moves closer towards you before running the sponge against your left hand.

You look away from Enid at work, glancing around the room you try to focus on anything else just to give her some privacy.

“So, what happened out there?” She asks trying to fill in the awkward silence in the separate room.

“I ran into the dead.” You answer. “I ran as quick as I could to lose the large herd of them but six of them continued to remain on my trail.” You finish.

“Must have been scary.” She says. “All alone with that many walkers.”

“She wouldn’t have been if she would have just waiting for me.” Daryl pipes up from the other side of the blanket.

“I wasn’t going to wait until tomorrow. I wanted to learn more. I was anxious to learn more about hunting.” You answer Daryl as you roll your eyes.

Enid dips the sponge into the water to rinse the bloody sponge. She gives you a quick look before pulling the sponge out and cleaning your upper arm.

“And how did that turn out for you?” Daryl bellows his question.

You couldn’t see him but you know his face was definitely going to be a dark shade of red from the anger he was experiencing.

“Better then I expected.” You answer.

“Right.” He smacks his lips in disbelief.

You shake your head, glancing towards Enid with embarrassment. This childish bickering was normally held between just the two of you but now that you were both doing it in front of others was kind of embarrassing.

“I’m sorry.” You mouth towards the young girl.

She smiles as she rinses the sponge and moves to the other arm.

“Sounds like my parents. They used to bicker like you two.” 

You honestly hope Daryl didn’t hear Enid compare the both of you to her parents. The difference between the both of you, was the fact that they were married. Daryl and you were only friends, just the thought of Daryl and you being compared to a married couple worries you.

Enid must have sensed the uneasiness of her comment, she clears her throat and dips the sponge into the pink soapy water.

“So what kind of animal were you looking for?” She asks.

“To be honest I kinda wanted to bring back a deer.” You chuckle at the thought of you trying to haul a large deer with you.

“Really? You must have a lot of confidence in yourself.” She smiles as she places the sponge by your neck.

You begin to chuckle. “Maybe it was me just being a show off, I kinda wanted to show Daryl that even though it was my first time I could still get myself a deer.” You answer honestly.

“That sounds more like it.” Daryl’s voice chimes in from the other side of the blanket.

You glance down towards yourself, the geeks blood rolling down your body in the soapy droplets of water.

“Have you found anything that’s concerning to you?” You ask Enid.

She continues to clean around your neck, her head shaking at your question. “No, I’m finding that more of the blood on your skin happens to be from someone else.” She answers.

“Like I said.” You whisper so Daryl wouldn’t hear.

“Know it all.” Daryl pipes up hearing your whispered words.

You smirk to the young girl. “Well, you were very lucky.” Enid reassures the simple fact that there could have been a different outcome to the mess you found yourself in.

“I was.” You answer.

“Could have been worse.” Daryl exclaims.

Enid dips the sponge into the water, squeezing as much of the blood out as possible. She begins to clean your face.

“Well it wasn’t, now can we move on from this?” You ask trying to press on from this vicious cycle.

You could hear Daryl growl from the other side of the blanket before mumbling something under his breath. Possibly cursing in frustration.

Enid pulls the sponge back, her finger touching a sore area on your face. “Well at least your bruises are starting to heal.”

“Thank goodness.” You answer. “I’m tired of getting looked at by some of the others here.” You explain.

“Makes all the sense, I also can see that even though it’s been a few days, your eyes are beginning to clear up too.” She adds.

You smile with happiness, you’ve been avoiding any kind of mirrors since the day Maggie comforted you.

Trailing your thoughts away from that night you watch Enid clean you up. Her eyes focused on her task. She may have started a couple days ago but she was leading very well in her new position.

“Well I just want to say Enid. I think you’re doing a great job.” You praise.

Enid pulls the sponge back with a smile, her once nervous face filled with confidence. “Thank you.” 

* * *

Once Enid finishes cleaning you up of all the blood, she heads towards the closet and grabs a clean pair of clothes.

She lets you get dressed and checks your body once more before discharging you.

Daryl walks out of the infirmary why your side, his face still filled with anger as he tries to except the fact that you’re proud of your alone time in the woods.

“Okay, let’s go and talk with Rick.” You begin.

“I think you should eat breakfast.” Daryl changes the plans.

“What? No, I really need to talk with him.”

“Yeah, and you haven’t had a damn thing to eat. I think you need to eat.” He answers with a growl.

You weren’t going to win this one either, rolling your eyes you follow Daryl towards the makeshift kitchen.

Bre and her husband weren’t around, Daryl walks towards the back of the kitchen and grabs a foil covered plate. He must have asked Bre while you were gone to keep a plate on the side for you.

Such a kind gesture for such an angry redneck.

“Here, eat.” He says handing the plate to you.

“Could I eat and talk with Rick?”

Daryl keeps his eyes on you, he was giving you a disappointed look that meant he was judging your question.

“Ugh, I take that as a no.” You roll your eyes before lifting the foil from the plate and taking a bite of a small slide of fresh bread.

“I’m happy you answered that dumb ass question yourself.” He says leading you towards the stairs to the main building.

“Whatever.” You murmur as you eat your breakfast.

You eat the meal as quick as possible, Daryl of course didn’t like that you were rushing. He continued to tell you that you would get a stomach ache from consuming your meal so quickly.

You blew off his warning needing to talk with Rick. This was more important than a dumb stomach ache.

“All done, now can I go and talk with Rick?” You ask moving towards the main doors.

“Fine, let me make sure he’s ready.” Daryl answers walking ahead of you and knocking on the office door.

He walks inside, following behind you reach the door but stop and wait for an invitation inside.

Maggie and Rosita walk out of the room, Rosita giving you a dirty look. Daryl pops his head out and grunts towards you; signaling that Rick was ready for the conversation.

Walking inside, noticing Michonne sitting in the corner. She gives you a smile as you walk up towards the chair by the desk.

Rick sits behind the desk, a small smirk upon his face showing he was in a better mood now that Dwight was gone.

“Well you look a lot better then when you got back.” Rick starts the conversation.

“I feel better then when I came back. I mean, my clothes aren’t sticking to me anymore.” You chuckle.

They all chuckle at your little relatable joke, except for Daryl. He seems to not find any of it funny.

“So what is it that you want to talk about?” Rick asks.

“While I was out in the woods, I ran into a large group of geeks. I tried to lose them but of course some of them got bored but some continued to follow me.” You pause to take a breath. “I lead the geeks to the edge of the road.”

“Did you see something?” Michonne asks.

“A large truck. It was the same one from the other day when the saviors were here.” You answer with a nod. “I couldn’t cross to the other side of the road because of the truck. So I had to kill everyone of the geeks that followed me.” You explain.

“Go on.” Rick urges you on.

You glance towards the three leaders you’ve come to trust. You were about to tell them the most important information you’ve received today and noting was going to stop you.

You take a breath and begin.


	24. One Shot

The room is silent since you told them what you heard from the Saviors. From the man they believed was on their side.

Rick has moved from the back of the desk to the window, his eyes examining something outside. Michonne blinks a tear from her eye and wipes it away as quickly as it fell. Daryl paces the ground like a tiger in a zoo.

Daryl turn stops his pacing and looks to you, his eyes dark with anger.

“Why didn’t you kill them?” He asks.

He’s angry at the new problem they’re having, he’s trying to put his anger in someone else and it’s you.

“Daryl, she came back to us.” Michonne answers quietly trying to control his anger.

“But she didn’t kill them.”

“How was I supposed to do that? I’m still not the best with my bow and even if I killed one the other would come after me.” You answer.

Daryl growls knowing you were right, Rick turns around. His eyes directed towards the ground as he continues to think of how they were going to use this new information against The Saviors.

“Dwight will possibly be coming back. He won’t know that we know. We’ll use this information for our advantage.” Rick fills the silent room.

Knowing Rick’s group, you know they would figure out a way around the problem. Kill more Saviors and survive another day without any other obstacles.

You don’t think Negan has that kind of luck like the rest of them. He was surrounded by wolves, claiming to be sheep.  


With the information you’ve learned you need to keep Negan safe.

You will have to leave The Hilltop.

“We need to have a meeting with the others.” Michonne begins.

“Prepare for a war.” Daryl adds.

Rick nods. “Only if they want it.”

“We have enough weapons, we could take down an entire battlefield.”

“We need to get ahold of the others. Oceanside, The Kingdom. Ask them for help.” Rick continues.

Michonne turns towards Daryl and give a nod. “Call the others, we must let them know.”

Daryl nods, he glances towards you and grunts still angry with you.

You remain in the room with Rick and Michonne, you knew this would be the right time to let them know you had to leave.

“Rick, Michonne. When you took me in, I was very grateful. You gave me a place to stay and rest. A new chance to live in peace. But, now that you might possibly have a war.” You stop.

“What are you saying?” Michonne asks.

“I’m saying I can’t stay here. I wanted to live in peace. I want to feel like the danger was behind me but we’re going to be running into it.”

“I thought we were family?” She says.

“Friends. Not family. My family is gone, no one can replace them.”

Rick shakes his head. “You’re afraid.”

“Hell yeah I’m afraid. I don’t want to deal with any of this more than you do, but nothing is keeping me from leaving.” You begin. “You all have each other, you would do this for each other. I have no one but myself to think of.”

“What about Daryl?” Rick asks.

“Daryl’s a friend. Nothing else. He would understand.”

“I’m not sure Daryl would.” Michonne shakes her head.

“I would what?” Daryl’s voice pipes up from behind you.

“She’s planning on leaving.” Rick says.

“You what?” Daryl shouts.

“You don’t understand, I’m doing this for myself. I’m getting the hell out of dodge before the shit really hits the fan.”

“Is that what you did with your last group?” Daryl asks.

_He would fucking go there._

“My brother and I tried our hardest to make it out of there. He was caught by the dead and he screamed for me to keep going, I knew he wanted me to stay safe. He wanted me to continue for as long as I could. That’s what I’m going to do.” You answer with a shout before walking out of the room past Daryl.

Daryl doesn’t let you go any further then the doorway. He pulls onto your wrist, keeping you by his side.

“You think you could just walk out on us after all we’ve been through?”

“All we’ve been through? Daryl I went on one run with the group, one hunting trip and one Savior scare.” You answer.

“Don’t forget staying by your side after one of them beat you to shit. After Dwight was here and after you came back looking like you were that fucking Stephen King character.”

“Carrie.” You shout.

“Who the fuck cares. You can’t leave.” He says.

“I can. I’m going to leave.”

I need to get back to the man I love. I need to warn him.

His hand was still holding onto your wrist, you try to loosen your grip from his hand but he tightens his grip.

“Let me go.” You start.

“No, I can’t. I won’t.” He says. His voice was broken, he was sad. Daryl sounded weak, like he was losing a part of something he cares about. “I can’t lose you too.” He says so softly you almost miss it.

“Daryl, I have to. You understand. I’m better alone. I know how to keep myself safe. I know how to fight, hunt and fend for myself. I’m going to be okay.” You try to reassure for his sake.

“I can’t protect you.”

“I don’t need protection, I’m okay.” You answer.

How we’re you to tell him you would be just fine since you have a man back in The Sanctuary who would protect you from anything?

Daryl lets go of your wrist, he takes one look into your eyes and wraps his arms around you.

“Listen, if you find yourself afraid or anything. Come back.” He says.

“Okay.” You answer. You wouldn’t promise him that you would do just that.

He lets you go, walks into the office. Daryl was going to let the others know your reasoning on wanting to leave, he would make them understand why it was better for you out there.

Walking up the stairs, you quickly grab your bag. Throwing it hover your shoulder, you start down the stairs. Heading towards the main lobby.

Rick calls your name from the office room, without hesitation you walk into the office and eye the bearded man.

“I understand why you have to leave. I wouldn’t want my group feeling in danger in a new place either.” He says walking towards you he offers his hand for you to give it a shake.

Taking his hand in yours, he shakes your hand in a tight grip. “I do want to thank you for coming back to us to let us know what you learned. For that I will be forever grateful.”

“I had to. You all are special, I couldn’t let that kind of threat hang over my head like that. After helping me, it wouldn’t be right.” You answer.

“You gave us a chance.” Michonne answers taking a couple steps from her spot.

Michonne throws her arms around your shoulders in a hug. “Please come back if you feel the need.”

“Okay.”

Pulling back from the hug, you thank the two before turning around and noticing Daryl.

“Do, do you want to walk me out one last time?” You ask.

“Yeah, but you’re not walking. Rick and I agreed on giving you one of our spare vehicles.” Daryl explains.

“You really don’t have to do-“

“Shut up, I can only imagine how much trouble you’ll find yourself in if we let you walk through the woods.” He interrupts.

You smile knowing he was spot on. He knew you too well at this point. Knowing you wouldn’t be around your redneck friend again breaks your heart.

“Thank you.” You whisper feeling emotional at the thought of never seeing him again. Or maybe that the thought of seeing him again but on worse terms.

Daryl grunts in response as he leads you out the main doors and towards the side of the building. Leading you towards a few vehicles he stops in front of a 1995 Toyota Camry. The vehicle isn’t in tiptop shape but it would get you to The Sanctuary.

“It might look like shit but it will get you far.” Daryl says matter of factly.

“That’s okay, even if it will kill out on me I can make it on foot. I’ll find the first house.” You smile.

“Try not to get yourself killed.” He adds plainly.

“I promise.” You answer with a nod. 

Daryl then helps you, opening the back door he pulls your backpack from your shoulder and places it in the backseat. You load your bow and quiver against the passenger side seat.

“Okay, all settled in?” He asks.

You smile and nod. Daryl whistles towards the people at the front gates. The others come out of their small living areas, Rosita and Tara glance toward Daryl and you as he hands you the keys. They were both headed towards the office to have their meeting. You could feel Rosita was wanting to smile, instead of giving anymore thought of the young woman you turn your attention back to Daryl.

“Hey, like I said earlier. If you find yourself in a situation or just want to come back, we’ll take you in.” He says so kindly it almost makes you want to cry. You couldn’t show him that you were emotional, you didn’t want them to know you knew more of what was going to happen.

You need to get the hell out of The Hilltop and back to The Sanctuary.

“I’ll keep it in mind.” You nod with a small smile upon your face.

Daryl pulls you in for a hug, his head resting against the top of your head. “Please be careful.” He begs.

“I will. You need to be careful too.” You answer pulling back to look to the redneck. “All of you.”

“We’ll be fine.” He answers.

Daryl helps you climb into the car, sticking the keys into the ignition; you start the car up. The gate leading out of the safety of The Hilltop is wide open, you turn and give a glance towards Daryl.

He pushes the door closed and hits the top of the car to let you know he was okay with you leaving. You give the redneck one last smile and begin to drive out of The Hilltop.

* * *

Driving in a car with no working radio or anyone to talk with makes the trip towards The Sanctuary an excruciatingly boring ride.

Negan always talks when you’re in the truck with him. Talking about random things and whatever his creative mind comes up with but he makes the trip and time go by faster with his chatter. 

You wished he was here now to talk with and to keep you sane.

Driving with the rest of the saviors is boring, most of them talk about all the amazing kills they’ve had or goods they’ve take from others. Normally they bore you so much, you take a nap.

Being the one whose driving was a lot different. 

“Come on, you’ll be with a Negan soon.” You talk to yourself out loud. “Negan will be so happy to have you back. It will be good to be back.” You continue.

Glancing towards the mileage you let out a groan when you realize you’ve only driven 5 miles out. You had 10 more miles to go.

10 miles in complete silence is going to make you lose your mind.

“Miles. I’ve got 10 miles to go until I’m with Negan.” You announce inside the car. 

Your mind begins to wonder of a better time when you would drive in the car with your mom. Before the end of the world, your mom and you would sing your moms favorite traveling song. A large smile appears on your face.

“Why stop the tradition?” You ask yourself. Glancing towards the passenger seat you imagine your mother in the seat next to you.

> _ But I would walk 500 miles _
> 
> _ And I would walk 500 more _
> 
> _ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles _
> 
> _ To fall down at your door _

Reminiscing the cherished memory, you feel like you are reliving all those times you would drive together. Your moms arms and yours living as if you were marching to the desired destination.

> _ And when I come home _
> 
> _yes I know I'm gonna be _
> 
> _ I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you _
> 
> _ I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you _

“Come on mom; sing it!” You chuckle.

> _ But I would walk 500 miles _
> 
> _ And I would walk 500 more _
> 
> _ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles _
> 
> _To fall down at your door_  
>    
> 

The car jerks stopping you from finishing.

“No, no no. Not right now. Not here.” You beg the car to continue your journey.

Glancing towards the dash you realize the car is on empty.

“Shit.” You shout.

The car begins to slow down, pulling over to the side of the road you reach a neighborhood. Parking the car in front of a house you curse at your horrible luck.

“5 miles.” You whisper. You could feel your blood beginning to boil. “I had 5 more damn miles until I made it to The Sanctuary but the fucking gas is gone!” You shout inside the car.

You take a couple deep breaths to calm yourself. Glancing out the windshield and towards the house you parked in front of, you notice a curtain from the window close.

“What the hell?” You ask squinting your eyes to watch the window.

Is my mind playing tricks on me?

Sitting silently inside the car, you watch the window to see if it were going to move again. When nothing happens you shake your head.

“I’m losing my mind.” You explain to yourself. Just as you’re going to turn your head away; you notice the curtain move.

A face peeks from the window, it was a living breathing human. Not one of the dead but an actual person.

“I wonder who it could be?” You ask yourself.

We’re they waiting for someone in their party to return from a run? We’re they wondering who you were as well?

Watching the person peek from the window, you decide to wait for them to close the curtain so you could grab your shit from the vehicle and make your way to the door.

If this person is alone, maybe you could take them back to The Sanctuary. They would at least have fresh food and a safe place to sleep.

Unfortunately the both of you would have to walk back to The Sanctuary since there was no more gas. Wanting to kick the side of the car you keep your composure.

Continuing to watch the window, you see the person grow tired of waiting for you to come out that they finally biliary the curtain.

That’s your cue to quickly get out of the car, open the passenger door and back door to grab your thing. Throwing your backpack around your back, bow and arrows around your shoulder. You quickly and quietly make your way to the side of the house.

This person doesn’t know you, which means a couple things. First, they were going to have their guard up, possibly ready to fight you for their safety. Second, they were bad people and were only waiting for you to come to the door for help.

Grabbing your burn from your backpack, you stick it in the back of your pants and cover it with your shirt. You weren’t going to get hurt just because you were trying to be helpful.

Placing your other things behind a bush by the side of the house, you wait patiently knowing once the person opens the curtain again they’ll notice the doors left open. It was like hitting the dinner bell, they were certain to come out and investigate the vehicle.

The sound of the front door opens, keeping as quiet as possible you watch the person scurry towards the car. To your surprise the person is a brunette female.

Silently walking towards the front door to the house, you mentally thank Daryl for teaching you to move as quietly as possible. Making it inside the house you move to behind the door to wait for her to return.

The sound of the girl walking back to the house gets you ready. Keeping your hand placed on your machete within the sheath, you listen to her footsteps approaching the door.

“I don’t understand, I thought it would be him.” The girl says to herself.

Your stomach twists when you recognize her voice. Thinking back you could picture her in your head, giving you dirty looks and her arms crossed over her chest. You had only spoke with her the once but her voice would remain in your head.

The voice belongs to the missing wife.

Sherry.

She starts closing the door but stops with a scream once her eyes land on you standing behind the door.

“Holy shit.” She shouts in fear.

“Keep your voice down, you could call some of the dead.” You scold. “Someone supposed to be meeting you here?” You ask changing the subject.

“What? No.” She answers in panic.

“Some reason I don’t believe you.” You answer squinting your eyes towards her.

Sherry rolls her eyes and walks away from the door and towards the living room. She takes a seat on the couch and keeps her eye on you.

You kick the door closed and give her a cool smile acting as if she were going to get away with her white lie.

“You know the Saviors have been looking for you.” You begin the conversation.

She shrugs her shoulders. “Good, that means some of the other girls are doing what I asked.” She answers.

“For now, one of them will crack under pressure.” You shrug your shoulder and begin to look around the house. Walking towards a bookcase, you skim through the titles and stop when you notice a picture frame with a picture of Sherry and Dwight before the dead started walking around.

“Their strong.” She says.

Turning away from the picture you give out a chuckle. “Not like you or me.” You smile. “Their weak. Once I get back to the Sanctuary I’ll let them know where you are.” You answer.

Sherry’s face losses all color in her cheeks. “I’ll be gone by that time.” She says shaking her head.

“I don’t think you will.” You answer with a shake of the head. Glancing towards the picture on the bookcase you grab it and take another look at the happy couple. “I’ll sure he’ll be looking for you.” You finish and turn the picture so she could see the two of them smiling.

“He doesn’t know I’m gone.” She declares with a sniff and turns her head to glance towards the other pictures on the wall.

“So that person or ‘he’ as you put it earlier. That’s not Dwight who’s supposed to find you here?” You ask.

Sherry keeps quiet.

“That’s what I thought.”

“You act as if you know everything.” She snaps. “You don’t know shit!”

A roguish smile crosses your face. “I know a hell of a lot more than you think. I know Dwight in fact isn’t coming for you.” You snigger. “The dumbass has no idea where you are.”

She looks around the room as if the answer were somewhere inside. You could see her heart breaking every second she tries to put the puzzle together.

“I left him a note.” She explains.

“Guess he didn’t find it.” You shrug.

“He did. The note was gone when I came back.” She shouts.

“Listen, Dwight didn’t get the clues then. He mustn’t have read through the lines because he’s lost.” You take a couple steps to the middle of the living room. “He’s so lost that he’s decided to do something bad. Something so back he could get killed.”

“No!”

“Yes, I might not like you but I wouldn’t lie to you.” You answer.

“What should I do?” She asks.

“You’re asking me for advice?” You ask in surprise.

“Please, he’s my husband. I love him.” 

Your brain searches for the best options for her, but everything that comes up leads to punishment of some kind.

“Everything I’m thinking won’t need well for you.” You answer with a shake of your head.

“I don’t care, he’s my husband.” She cries.

“You’re husband’s gone. Now he’s a vengeful piece of shit.”

Sherry let’s out a cackle, throwing her head back. She eyes you once again and stands to her feet. “That’s rich coming from you. If you want to talk about vengeful, we should talk about the man you’re sleeping with.” She stops to stare towards you. “What? You didn’t think we knew. All of his wives know him and you have been fucking like rabbits. Maybe you should put the blame on Negan, he’s the reason Dwight has changed so much.” She changes the subject back to Dwight.

“Maybe Dwight should have grown a pair of balls and told Negan that you were already called for.” You pick at the wound.

“This is not Dwights fault!” She shouts. “Dwight cracks easily due to his unstable brain.” Sherry pauses.

She looks away, examining one of the pictures on the wall then turns back towards you. Her eyes light up like they were filled with fire. “Take me to him.” She demands.

Did she really think you were going to take the bitch to her husband? It wasn’t going to happen.

“No.” You answer calmly.

“You will take me to him or I’ll have to make you.” She says taking a step towards you.

This bitch really thinks she can make you do what she wants. Little did she know that you don’t work like that, you’ve never done anything anyone has every demanded.

“The hell you will.” You answer taking a step towards her to show your dominance. You weren’t afraid of her, if you were gonna lead this to a fight you would make sure to end it once and for all.

She has no authority over you.

Sherry blinks towards you, a few unshed tears form at the waterline of her eyes. This kind of move could have fooled a man, thinking she was a poor helpless woman in need. She was on her last rope, so desperate to find her husband that she would try anything.

Sherry’s face contorts into fury, her first meeting your cheek so fast you missed the movement.

You move backwards from the pain and force. Placing your hand over your cheek as you try to process what just happened. Sherry moves after you once again.

Lifting an eyebrow you get ready. Sherry doesn’t know your history, meaning she has no idea that you had a brother who enjoyed watching wrestling and trying using the moves on you. During those sparing days, you learned a few moves yourself.

Sherry tries to swing at you, dodging the hit you quickly stand stand beside her,set your left leg a step back to keep your balance. Grabbing her shoulders with both of your hands, you sweep your right leg around and behind her right ankle. Pushing her by the shoulders you cause her to fall backwards and onto the ground.

Keeping your stance you lean over her, her back to the floor and angry scream escaping her throat.

“Stay down, bitch.” You growl your command.

“Fuck, I just want to get to Dwight.” She says anger clear in her voice.

The sound of a groan from outside the house causes you to turn your attention from the window Sherry had been peeking through.

“Take me to my husband.” She says louder then you would like. If the dead were out the door they would cause a ruckus and bring other geeks over.

“Keep your voice down.” You whisper.

The sound of her moving quickly from the floor makes you turn your attention towards the woman, as you glance down you notice something shiny in her hand. Her fast movement blurring the item as she slams it into your right calve.

A scream escapes your mouth from the pain ripping through your leg. She pulls a bloody knife from your leg and tries to stab you again.

Taking a couple fast steps back towards the wall, she growls in anger when you’re too far for her to reach. She stands up from the floor, her face filled with rage.

She was going to kill you.

Sherry begins to charge towards you with her knife clutched in her hand. Remembering your gun, you pull it out and shoot.

Sherry collapses facedown to the ground ending the unwanted rampage.

The sound of the dead from outside growls in hunger as its looking for the direction of the screaming and gunfire. Keeping as quiet as possible you glance back towards the body.

Blood begins to pool around her head, your heart begins to pound realizing you killed the woman.

This was the first time you’ve killed a person, the horror lays before you in the pool of her own blood.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper to the body.

You go to take a step towards her but find your injured leg throbbing in protest. It wasn’t hurting before due to the adrenaline rushing through your veins but now that you were calming down the pain was becoming evident.

Glancing towards your pant leg, the blood has seeped from the wound onto the material and down towards your ankle.

Remembering your brother wrapping someone’s injured arm in a tourniquet after a geek raid, you quickly head towards the hallway not stopping when the pain courses through your entire leg with every step.

Finding the bathroom you search for anything you could wrap around your leg. Coming up empty handed you turn towards the hall closet and find a couple blankets.

Grabbing your machete you cut large pieces of fabric from the blanket and wrap it around hour throbbing leg.

“Son of a bitch, this hurts.” You groan in pain. Tying a knot, you grab the rest of the blanket and limp back into the living room.

Sherry’s body remains in the large pool of dark red blood. Walking up to her, you turn her over. You had no clue where you shot her but knew where the bullet hit was fatal.

Flipping her over, you notice the bullet hit right in her right eye.

“Oh my God, Sherry I’m sorry.” You groan in horror.

Lifting the blanket, you toss it over her and drape it over her body to cover her up.

Staring at the covered body a feeling within begins to grow from within. Your heart pounds in your chest, faster and faster. Hands begin to tremble by your sides, stomach twisting. You could only identify they feeling as shock.

You killed someone you knew. Someone you knew who hated you because you were Negan’s new shiny toy and afraid of the competition you would bring since she was Negan’s favorite wife.

Besides knowing she was Negan’s jealous wife; you didn’t know anything else about her. You didn’t know her in a personal level, or what she was like before the dead starting walking around.

_You killed her in cold blood._ A voice inside your head says.

“No, it was self defense.” You explain to yourself. “She was charging at me with a knife. She stabbed me once, I couldn’t let her do it again.” You finish feeling your eyes begging to fill with tears.

You turn away from the body and make eye contact with the two in the picture. “It wasn’t on purpose.” You whisper.

The pain in your leg pulls your attention from the married couples picture. Knowing you had stayed too long, you take one last look to the body. Tightness grips your chest with pain and sorrow for your actions.

Grabbing the gun from the ground you place it back into its hiding spot and sheath your machete. Walking to the front door, opening it as quietly as possible; you sneak outside until you reach the side of the house to grab your things.

You have a long walk ahead of you. 


	25. Bitches Get Stitches

Stumbling towards The Sanctuary gates, happiness fills you when you see the large warehouse. 

Your leg has been causing problems the entire trip back, with a couple of groans of pain; you make it to the gates and stop when you see two new saviors guarding the area.

They point their guns in your direction. “Stop, don’t move any closer.” Says the new young man.

“What do you want?” A woman says lifting her gun higher so she was aiming at your head.

“Uh, to get inside. I need the doctor to check my damn leg.” You groan not feeling so hot. You were beginning to feel sick from the pain since you’ve angered the wound with your long journey back.

Walking towards the gate is a man you haven’t seen in some time. He knew you well and you knew him too. Approaching the gate he lifts an eyebrow.

“Well shit.” He says with a smirk, he turns towards the new man. “Go find Negan, tell him the prodigal son has returned.” He orders.

The man tried hitting on you many times while you went on runs with the other saviors. He never seemed to take no for an answer.  


The last day he went on a run was with his son, his son was killed on the run due to a large herd that approached. Unfortunately for you, you were the one his son was trying to save. Since that day he’s hated you; honestly you couldn’t blame him.

The young man nods before running off towards the stairway towards the warehouse. The man turns with a smile, glancing down towards your leg he tilts his head at the sight of the bloody tourniquet.

“What the hell happened to you?” He asks.

“Found an old friend.” You answer.

“Some friend.” He answers with a chuckle.

“Are you going to make me stand out here all day or are you going to let me in?” You ask.

“Did it hurt?” He asks, ignoring your question and pointing towards your leg.

“What?” You ask.

“I asked you if it hurt?” He says once again.

Glancing down towards your leg, the blood stained your pant leg, possibly your sock and definitely your shoe. Your leg was feeling as if it were going numb.

Glancing towards the man once again you bite your cheek to keep from going off on the man.

“Yes.” You answer sternly.

“Good.” He says with a smile.

“Nice to see you’re still a dick, Felix.” You remark crossing your arms over your chest.

“Why would anything change?” He asks.

“Well I thought after losing your son it would have made you see the light and the arrow of your way.” You shrug your shoulders.

_ That was below the belt. _

“Fuck you.” He spits.

“Whoa, whoa whoa. What’s with the anger?” Felix turns around to see Negan making his way toward the gate. Negan glances away from Felix and eyes you, his eyes widening with shock.

Tilting his back he gives you that devilish smile you’ve come to love. “Holy shit.” He says the words slowly and licks his bottom lip. Glancing towards Felix he gives him a smile. “Prodigal son, that’s funny.”

“Dirty bitch brought up my son.” Felix begins with a growl.

Negan turns towards you, he doesn’t look surprise that you started something already.

“Did you bring up his son?” He asks trying to play fair.

“I did, I wasn’t rude about him.” You answer lightly stumbling in place to find a comfortable position for your leg.

Negan notices the small movement and glances toward your bloody leg.

“She said I was a dick and thought I would have changed when Lucas died.” Felix announces. “She was the reason he got killed.” He adds.

Negan keeps his eyes on the mess of your leg. “Well Felix, she wasn’t wrong.” He says turning away from your leg to look to the man. “I thought the same thing, but I never had the balls to say it. Looks like the lady here has bigger balls than me.” He pauses. “Also, it’s not her fault he died, if you want to blame anyone. Blame me, I sent him out on that run.” Negan finishes.

Felix looks away from Negan, his eyes meeting you for a few seconds before he spits by your feet.

You could tell Negan is starting to get irritated with Felix’s attitude. To try and distract him you move your injured leg and grimace. Negan then turns and meets your pained face.

“What the hell happened to your leg?” Negan asks.

“Knife.” You answer quickly.

Negan’s eyes turn from curious to concern in seconds. You shake your head, silently telling him not to worry about it.

Negan lifts his eyebrows before turning towards Felix, Felix continues to glare at you.

“Are you going to let her in or are you going to make her bleed to death out there?” Negan asks.

“Tempting.” Felix comments snickering to himself.

Negan tightens his jaw, the anger beginning to rise within. Nobody else would notice the little things Negan does, but you notice his hand tighten around Lucille.

“That was a rhetorical question, Felix.” Negan spits.

“Well, I’m gonna think about it.” Felix answers.

“Let me help you decide.” Negan says stepping closer towards Felix, lifting Lucille; he moves her inches from Felix’s face. “You don’t open the gate and I’ll have your fucking brain splattered over the fucking concrete or you let her in and you’ll be allowed to live another day the asshole you are.”

Felix eyes Lucille in fear and glances towards you before moving away and unlocking the gate.

“That’s what I thought.” Negan murmurs.

The new saviors pull the gate open wide enough for you to walk through. Limping your way into the safety of the sanctuary, you try to keep your amused smile from your face.

You definitely enjoy watching Negan being protective of you without some of the others noticing. It was like your little secret.

“Lock the gate and get back to your post.” Negan orders to the man.

“Yes sir.” Felix answers. He glances towards you, eyeing you up and down. “This isn’t over.” 

“The fuck it is.” Negan pushes Felix to the ground with his right arm, swinging Lucille with his left he throws her slightly and catches her with his right hand. “You’re going to threaten her right in front of me and act as if I’m not even fucking here. Felix, I’m going to tell you this once. You fucking try anything, it’s the cell for you. If that doesn’t teach you it’s the iron next and if you still haven’t taken in any of those fucking lessons then Lucille here will have a fucking hay day. Understood?” He asks placing some of the barbed wire against Felix’s face.

“Yeah, fine.” He answers.

“No, say it like you mean it.” Negan was playing with the mans emotions now. It was too good to not watch.

“I won’t mess with her again.” He says looking to Negan.

“Tell her.” Negan demands.

Felix turns slightly to her a good look at you and swallows his pride. “I won’t mess with you again.”

“Promise her.” Negan growls pressing Lucille deeper into his skin.

“I promise, I won’t mess with you again.” He says louder.

Negan pulls Lucille away from Felix’s face, the mans cheek decorated in tiny indents from Lucille’s barbed wire.

“See wasn’t that easy.” Negan shouts. “Get the hell back to your post.”

Negan turns towards you. He turns to eye Felix and the others before meeting your stare.   
  
“What an asshole.” He says loud enough for Felix to hear. Negan then  lifts his left arm gesturing for you to walk towards the stairs leading to the door.

The new saviors close the gate and start towards the posts, giving Negan a small smile you start towards the doors.

Walking side by side with Negan was like a dream. It had been so long since you’ve been able to walk around with him without feeling afraid of someone seeing you with the enemy.

Negan takes his time helping you up the stairs. Your leg was protesting to quit on you, the throbbing and ache causing you to grimace with every step.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened to your leg?” Negan starts the conversation once you both make it to the top of the steps and walk inside the long darkly lit hallway.

“Not with all the ears in this place.” You answer quietly. The both of you continue through the hallway, his hand hooped around your waist to keep you up.

“Fine, we’ll talk about it later. Let’s get you in to see the doctor.” He says.

The both of you continue down the hall, turning left towards another hall and to the second door on the right. Negan pushes the door open, leading you in.

The doctor jumps in fright from the unexpected intrusion, turning from his meal in anger.

“How dare you barge into my room like that, who do you think you are?” The doctor asks crossing his arms over his chest.

Negan takes a step into the room from the hall and tilts his head towards the doctor. “I’m your fucking boss, that’s who I am.”

The doctor gasps in surprise. “Negan, I didn’t realize it was you. I saw-“

“You saw a woman slam her way into your room. Doc, if you didn’t notice she’s injured. We’re you going to turn her away if it was just her?”

“No.” He stammers on his words. “I was startled.”

“We’ll take a breath doc, I need you to help her out. She looks like she’s lost a lot of blood.” Negan says leading you further into the infirmary.

The doctor leads you towards an examining table. “Go ahead and put your weapons and backpack to the side.” The doctor begins.

Before you go to move the weapon from your shoulder, Negan pulls the bow and quiver from your shoulder. “I’m going to put it to the side here.” Negan says kindly as he places your new weapons along the wall.

You take off your backpack, the weight on your shoulders and back ease. It had been a long trip back to The Sanctuary, at the time you didn’t realize the weight of your things were weighing on you.

The doctor grabs suture scissors from a Mayo stand. He quickly begins to cut your pant leg and the tourniquet open so he could examine the wound.

Glancing to your bloody leg, the stab wound gushes more blood. Negan grimaces at the sight.

“You were stabbed? Let me clean the wound, I have to make sure nothing was damaged.” The doctor says before turning around to grab a couple items.

Negan places his gloved hand under your chin to turn your head towards him. He examines your face, his thumb rubs gently against your healing skin.

“Is this-“

“Yeah, it was worse.” You answer making eye contact with Negan.

“It’s still looks shitty.” He answers. He lifts your chin higher to check your neck. His thumb rubbing against the bruise. “This will never happen again.” He adds.

“It won’t have to.” You answer before turning when the doctor walks up with a few utensils and glances towards you.

“I’m gonna clean it. I would hold onto something.”

Negan grabs your hand, you eye the handsome man before closing your eyes ready for the pain to rip through your leg.

The burn from the doctor cleaning the wound causes a hiss to escape you. “Shit.” You grunt trying to keep your voice down.

“Shh. It’s okay.” Negan whispers into your ear. He was trying to relax you.

“Okay, the wound is deep. Looks like nothing important was touched. Good news I can just stitch you up and have you take a couple pain killers for the day.” The doctor says.

“I don’t need-“

“She’ll take the pain killers.” Negan interrupts you before you can finish your sentence.

Rolling your eyes you watch the doctor turn to grab a needle. Turning away from the doctor, you look to Negan.

“You’re going to have to distract me.” You admit.

Negan smirks towards you. “Tell me what happened.” He says nodding his head towards the wound.

“Anything else but that. Maybe we can talk about this some other time.” You answer.

“I want to know. I want to know who did this to you.” He says the anger starting up in his voice. He perhaps thought someone from The Hilltop did this to you but he was mistaken.

Taking a look towards the doctors direction you shake your head. “It wasn’t any of them.” You answer trying to keep the memory of killing Sherry from your mind.

“Then who?” He asks.

“Negan, I.” You stop feeling your emotions trying to get the better of you. “I don’t want to talk about it now. I can’t.” You shake your head and blink back the unshed tears.

Negan notices your watery eyes, he gives a nod before clearing his throat. “Okay, when you’re ready.” He lifts his hand gently on your shoulder. “I won’t push.”

“Thank you.” You whisper brushing away a single tear that escaped without permission.

* * *

The doctor cleaned and stitched you up. He gave you a couple painkillers for the pain. Of course Negan made you take one of them in front of him.

Thanking the doctor for his time and help, Negan leads you out of the infirmary and down the hallway.

“So, I see you’ve got yourself new weapons.” He says starting the conversation as he continues to walk down the hallway with you. “Bow and arrow, very Dixon of you.”

“Daryl has a crossbow, it’s not the same thing.” You answer.

Negan glances towards you, surprise coating his face when you correct him.

“There’s an arrow.” He says lifting his eyebrow.

“A bolt. Daryl uses a bolt, bows use an arrow.” You turn towards him.

“Thanks for the lesson, smart ass.” He says turning the corner down the next hallway.

“I, didn’t mean to be a smart ass.”

“Of course, you’re just moody.” He say with a shrug.

“I don’t mean to be-“

“Doll, it’s fine. You’re upset after whatever happened out there. I’m not mad.” He interrupts stopping and turning towards you. “And honestly I don’t blame you for treating me this way.” Negan admits.

Turning to look Negan in the eyes, you realize what he’s saying is true. He doesn’t blame you for acting out, for acting bitchy with him. He isn’t angry.

Negan shakes his head, stepping closer towards you he eyes your face. The pain clear on his features. “After what I did to your face.” He lifts his gloved hand and gently rubs his index knuckle against your left jawline. “I deserve your anger.” He says once again.

_ He isn’t wrong. _

After those dark marks appeared on your body; you hated that he hurt you. Beat you and choked you because he was jealous of another man. Forcefully claiming you in a way that horrified you, even to this day.

He deserves to be treated like trash after he treated you the same.

Turning away from Negan, you look the opposite direction. You couldn’t agree with him out loud.

“I fucked up.” He whispers to himself. The words so quiet you almost missed them. “It’s going to take you sometime to trust me again.” He says louder this time.

“Perhaps.” You answer with a nod. “Although you may not have trusted me before, I believe you will trust me now.”

“Of course.” He answers.

“Then do me a favor.” You begin.

“Anything.” 

“Don’t ask me to talk about what happened today. I’ll talk when I’m ready to share with you. Only when I’m ready.” You plead.

“Shit Doll, you’re worrying me.” He touches your hand gently, the leather rubs gently against your skin.

“There’s nothing to be worried about.” You answer. “Just more demons.” You add with a shrug.

Negan licks his bottom lip, his eyebrows furrowed together as he tries to imagine the monsters that will keep you up at night.

“You help me with mine.” He replies.

“Mine are new, almost untouchable.” You explain. It was different, he dealt with problems done before the turn; not during.

“Almost, that’s the key word.” He says. With a shrug of the shoulder he nods. “I already told you Doll, I won’t ask you until you’re ready. I won’t bring it up.” Eyeing him, his face is filled with honesty and love.

Giving him a small smile, you nod your head and move your hand away from his as you continue down the hall with him beside you.

“I didn’t expect our reunion to be like this.” You start to change the subject. “It was supposed to be more-“

“Sexual?” He asks.

Your face flushes, it embarrasses you how well he knows you. You were transparent with him, he could read you like a damn book.

“I love the fact that you still blush even though we’ve been with each other.” Negan smirks.

“I can’t deny my true feelings for you.” You shake your head slightly.

Negan leads you towards his bedroom door. He stops him the hall with his hand upon the doorknob, keeping his eyes focused on your still flushed cheeks he grins towards you. “Doll, you’re too good for me.”

He was right again, you are too good for Negan. He had a bad reputation, he was the murderer who killed some of Rick’s people. He was the bad guy with the bad men, the snatcher, thief in the night.  


Negan was the bad guy, but you’re in love with him.

Seeing past the wrongfulness that he’s done, you recognize him as the man who saved you by the side of the road all those months ago. He’s the man who keeps you safe, he’s the man you would one day hope to call yours.

The sound of voices coming from down the hall causes you to stop from answering, turning to glance towards the direction of the voices approaching.

Negan grabs you gently by the arm and leads you into his room. Walking inside, you look around memorizing the details of the room.

Noticing a lamp that used to be in your old room, a smirk appears upon your face.

“Nice lamp, looks vaguely familiar.” You turn to glance towards the handsome man.

“Took it from your old room. I remembered you enjoyed staying up and reading.” He admits.

Tilting your head towards Negan, you eye him in disbelief. “I never told anybody that I did that.”

“You didn’t have to.” He says taking a few steps closer towards you. “I noticed. You would come back from some of the raids with a couple new books.” He uses his gloved index finger to lightly graze your arm up to your neck. “I used to walk by your room and see the lamplight from under the door.”

“I didn’t think anyone knew.” You shrugged.

“I told you, I notice you. I’ve noticed you since the day I brought you here.” He leans down to kiss you. His lips gently meeting yours.

Pulling back you eye some of the books by the nightstand. “Are those for me?” You ask.

“They are. I thought you would want to read some new books since you’re back.”

“You’re right; I’ve been a little busy that I haven’t read a damn thing in weeks.”

“Well there’s plenty of books for you to enjoy. You’ll be reading a lot more now that you’ll no longer be a Savior.” He says turning around and placing Lucille against the couch.

_ He was joking, right? _

“Uh, I never agreed to that.” You admit feeling slightly irritated.

“You didn’t have to, it was my decision.” He answers turning to glance towards you from the couch.

After all this time, he’s still going to tell you; you were no longer going to be a savior? After the mission you were on, after coming back with a wounded fucking leg. He was going to retire you from your job?

“Well the decision is completely bogus. I’m not going to stop being a savior just because you decided. I earned this job.” You begin to argue.

“No, I gave you this job. I was the one who decided to give you a chance to be a savior than to force you into becoming one of my wives.” He answers taking a step towards you, his face darkening with anger. He was keeping his composure.

“No, I earned the title of a savior since I’ve been in The Hilltop. The recognition is my reward.” 

“This is not up for discussion.” He raises his voice.

“I’m not discussing that the job should be mine, I’m telling you!”

“Listen! I-“

A knock at the door pauses Negan, he turns towards the door with anger racing through his veins.

“What?” He shouts towards the door.

The door swings open. A chunky man with a neck beard stands by the door. The man looks like a nerd, lost without his comic books and forced to become a savior to find more reading material without doing the hard work.

_ Forced? Nobody has ever been forced to become a savior. Why would I think such a thing? _

“Boss, just wanted to let you know that you have a meeting coming up.” He says stuttering slightly from the nerves of speaking with the boss.

Negan’s eyebrows furrow together. “A meeting? I don’t remember having a meeting scheduled.”

“Cause you’re so busy.” You whisper as you roll your eyes.

Negan glances towards you with a growl.

The man shrugs his shoulders, he was only the messenger. He has no idea what the meeting was for.

“Who’s the meeting with?” Negan asks.

The chunky man closes his eyes, squeezing them together as if he were having a hard time remembering. “I think it’s with Simon?” He answers the question, slightly questioning himself.

_ Could this be the meeting you heard they would have? Was this where they tell Negan that awful plan? _

You have to get yourself in that meeting. You know if Negan is to have the conversation with Simon then he would believe and trust the snake of a man.

“Simon?” Negan looks away from the man to glance at the wall in curiosity.

“Yeah, Simon. He’s that-“

“I know who fucking Simon is.” Negan shakes his head.

The man turns his attention from Negan towards you, his eyes skimming you up and down. “What happened to your face?” The man asks.

Negan turns when he realizes the chunky man was talking to you. Asking you such a rude question did not sit well with him.

“You were sent here just to give me the message. You relayed the message, now get the fuck out.” Negan orders.

The man jumps at the blunt words. He nods in fear before walking away as quickly as possible.

Negan walks towards the door and slams it shut.

“Fucking idiot.” Negan shakes his head. He was probably questioning himself on how he got some Saviors as quite as dumb as that man.

“Can I join the meeting?” You ask blurting out the words.

“No.” He answers meeting your eye. He looks towards you as if you’ve asked him permission to take Lucille for the rest of the day.

“Please, I have to be in there.” You push the subject.

“What part of not being a savior do you not understand?” He asks.

“Negan.” 

“I said no!” He raises his voice.

“Please, let me join in. If you let me join this meeting; I’ll agree to not be a savior anymore.” The words slip out of your mouth before you could think it through. It was too late to take them back, Negan would think about it and give you one of two answers.

Silence fills the room. You swore you could hear Negan’s heart beating across from you.

Negan remains staring towards you, his eyebrow lifted as he thinks. He curses under his breath, still haven’t decided an answer to the dilemma.

He starts walking past you, towards the couch and turns to look into your eyes. “You’ll agree?”

_I don’t want to but I’ll have to_.

“Yes.” You answer.

Negan looks away from you, his eyes landing on Lucille. Closing his eyes he tries to think.

“Lucille, give me strength.” He whispers.

Of course he wasn’t talking to the baseball bat, he was speaking to his dead wife. Could he be asking her to keep him from using the bat to bash in your head or to make up a decision that he hopes he wouldn’t regret.

Juggling the options in his mind, he finally opens his eyes and meets your stare. “Fine. I’ll let you join this meeting, but this is the last time you’ll be part of a Saviors meeting.” He answers.

Letting out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, you give him a small smile.

“Don’t make me regret this.” He says before leaning in to stare into your eyes.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You answer.


	26. Love Made Me Do It

Negan left you in his room so he could take a walk around The Sanctuary, check on the others to make sure things were running smoothly.

He was kind enough to offer you a hand so you could walk around with him. Knowing it wasn’t a good idea because of your damn leg, you kindly declined.

So you sit on his couch with one of the books in your lap, reading the same line over and over as you remember the crazy day you’ve had.

If things were back to normal and the dead wasn’t walking around the streets, you would have called it a day by now. Crawled into bed and watched some of your favorite movies and order a pizza to help you feel better.

But things weren’t normal, nothing was normal anymore and you were certain there in fact was no more pizza.

Tossing the book to the side you decide to replay the day in your mind. The morning started with Dwight and Simon discussing their plan for Negan. You killed a good amount of geeks, ran into Sherry; almost died after being stabbed then killing the crazy woman. You hauled ass back to the Sanctuary with a messed up leg.

After today’s shit show; you realize that Dwight playing both teamswasn’t going to help him in the long run. He thinks that playing with Rick’s group will be a easy pass from them, he was sadly mistaken. 

Dwight doesn’t deserve to live a free life away from horror and pain. Sherry probably knew the plans in the first place, she was possibly playing you to make it seem Dwight didn’t have a clue what he was doing.

Sherry was possibly waiting in their old house so Dwight and Simon could complete the task. Lead Rick and Negan into a trap and kill them both.

You did something that helped both groups, well at least Rick’s for now. The horrors you once felt for your actions in Dwights house clear themselves until all that’s left is a proud smile on your face. You did a good thing.

Getting up from the couch, you walk towards Negan’s bathroom. It has been months since one been inside his bathroom.

Walking inside, you close the door and flip the switch. Glancing towards the spot you had fingered yourself brings a smile to your face; this was the first room you fantasized about Negan.

Turning towards the shower, you begin to undress. You may have had Enid give you a sponge bath earlier today but after your long journey back to the Sanctuary and your injury a shower seemed like a fantastic idea.

Climbing into the shower, you turn on the hottest temperature of water and groan when you fed your muscles begin to relax under the heat.

Tilting your head back, you let the hot water soak your hair and body. “I missed this.” You smile feeling relaxed.

“So, I see you took it onto yourself to take a shower.” Negan’s voice causes you to jump with fright.

Placing your hand onto your chest, you calm yourself before speaking. “I did. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind, Doll.” He answers.

“Do you want to join me?” You ask. You wait to listen for his agreement, instead of a vocal answer; the sound of Negan’s belt unfastening brings a smile to your lips.

It wasn’t too hard to persuade him into joining you.

Continuing to tilt your head back into the water while you wait, the curtain slides open and the sound of Negan cursing greets you.

“Damn baby, the water is hot as shit.” He begins with a surprised shriek.

“It’s just the way I like it.” You answer glancing towards him and giving him a small smile.

He stands completely naked at the other end away from the spray of the shower head. He eyes your body while you eye his.

“Burning your pretty skin?” He asks taking a step towards you and stopping when the water hits his hand. “Your skin is turning pink, baby.” He points out.

His words have a bit of concern behind them, Negan lifts an eyebrow waiting for an answer.

“It doesn’t hurt.” You reassure him with a smirk.

“The heat hurts me. I want to be able to get in closer towards you it’s like joining a bath with the devil.” He says glancing towards the steam filling the shower.

“Is there a meaning to that analogy?” You ask with a chuckle.

He eyes you quickly. “No, you’re too good to be a devil.” He answers.

_Boy is he wrong._

“That’s nice to think.” You answer with a shrug. You turn around and lower the temperature so he could join you. Negan gives you a smile when you turn back around to face him.

“Thanks Doll.” He steps in further towards you. Pulling your wet body towards his, he claims your lips in a kiss. You 

Pulling back to look into his eyes, you give him a shy smile. “I missed you.” You whisper as you gently rub your finger against his scruff along his jawline.

“So did I.” He answers. Pulling away he grabs a bottle of shampoo and pours a generous amount in his hand.

“Are you. Are you going to wash my hair?” You ask.

He nods with a wink. “Turn around Doll.” He orders so sweetly. Smirking you follow his orders and turn around.

Negan begins to massage the shampoo into your scalp, his fingers threading into your hair as he takes his time with each section.

This kind and gentle gesture feels more intimate than the sex. The both of your stand so close, his hands rubbing against your scalp as he cleans you up from your awful day. Its like he was telling you to take a load off and let him drive for a while.

“This feels amazing.” You hum enjoying his fingertips begin to circle around your scalp. “How did you get so good at this?” You ask with another hum of pleasure.

“I used to wash Lucille’s hair before she lost it. After treatments she would feel exhausted and I felt helpless, I had do something for her so that was my job.” He answers so softly, his words sound as if he were in pain from the memory.

“That was very kind of you. I bet she loved it.”

“She did. She missed it after it was all gone, sometimes I would still gently massage her scalp just to make her feel good.” He clears his throat. “Turn around Doll.” He says.

Turning around, he lifts his hand to gently tilt your head back to rinse the soap away.

“Sorry about the shampoo, I don’t have any girly shit in here.” He says.

“Looks like you’ll have to get some of in going to be staying here now.” You smile.

Still hating the idea of not being a savior for long leaves an emptiness inside of you. You couldn’t fight him over it anymore since you agreed to leaving it behind.

“You’re right. I’ll have some of the saviors grab some girly shit while they’re out there next time.” He answers.

The soap runs down your body, towards your legs. Your injured leg begins to slightly burn from the chemicals. Grimacing slightly out of pain, try to ignore it.

“Did I hurt you?” He asks noticing you grimace. Nothing can ever pass up this man.

“Not you. The wound is pissed.” You answer with a shake of your head.

He tilts your head back into place, wiping the water from your face you look into his eyes. His face filled with amusement.

“So you can have boiling water on your skin but a little bit of soap hurts you?” He asks with a smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Ha ha. Funny.”

He smiles down towards you, leaning in he gives you a sweet kiss.

“So, when you say you don’t have girly shit, does that also include body wash?” You ask pulling back to look to his face; knowing he would pull you right back to him for another kiss.

He grins towards you with a nod. “You’re gonna smell like me.” He winks before leaning in again to claim your lips with his.

Negan pulls you closer towards him, his arms wrapping around your body to keep you as close as possible. His hardness becoming known with each second that passes.

“Good.” You answer in between kisses. “I.” Kiss. “Like.” Kiss. “The way.” Kiss “You.” Kiss. “Smell.”You finish deciding to finally shut up and enjoy having him so close.

A sound of a snap pulls you back, glancing towards Negan he smiles with his body wash in his hands. Grabbing the small black loofah from the corner of the tub, he pours a generous amount of soap on it.

“Let me wash you, baby.” He whispers seductively into your ear, giving you a chill that runs down your spine. Negan rubs the loofah against your right arm, the bubbles beginning to foam along your skin.

Negan continues to wash along your clavicle; towards your left arm. Washing you so gently it almost tickles.Negan bites his bottom lip as he guides you to turn around so he could wash your shoulders and back.

“Let me get the hardest part to reach.” He says as he begins to wash your shoulders, his technique of scrubbing in circular motions. He moves lower an lower into the loofah is by your ass. “Cute little ass.” He whispers into your ear.

You couldn’t answer from the lack of brain cells at the moment, the feeling of his gentle hand grasping lightly on your hip and his other hand cleaning your body is too much to handle. You let out a small squeak when his the loofah is moved away and he presses his length along the crack of your ass.

The loofah clutched hand returns to the front of your body, cleaning in between your breasts. Negan leans his head against the side of your neck and kissing slow peppered kisses along your neck.

His hand on your hip moves to clutch onto your left breast; kneading the flesh in a massaging matter. He washes your right Brest with the loofah, soap bubbles decorating your front half. Negan hums against your neck, loving the feel of your breasts; you beginning to move up and down along his length with you ass.

“Does that feel good baby?” You ask finally finding your words. He wasn’t inside you yet but the feeling of his sliding between your cheeks was sensational, the feeling had to be amazing for him as well.

“Fuck yes Doll.” He answers moving the loofah down your stomach and in between your legs.

A silent gasp escapes your lips when he rubs the loofah against your throbbing pussy. His lips moving against your neck up towards you jaw. Negan drops the loofah when your soapy enough and begins rubbing his hand along your needy cunt.

“Shit.” You moan, his hand continuing their breathtaking pattern. Negan moves his hand from your breast to grasp onto your chin, turning your head sharply and forcefully.

“I’m gonna get this pretty pussy nice and clean for me.” He says into your ear. “Before I dirty it up with my thick cum.” He adds.

“Please.” You beg with a moan needing his cock right fucking now. Negan kisses your lips, his hand remaining by your neck.

He was paying caution to your bruises, not wanting to hurt you any more then he did before. His need for you brings a moan from his lips, he pulls back eyeing your lustful eyes.

“You want me baby?” He asks.

“Yes sir. I want you so bad.” You answer.

“Beg for it.”

“Please baby. I need you inside me, I need to feel you fill me up until I can taste you. Please daddy, I need you to fuck my needy pussy.” You plead.

Negan must have liked every plea, moving his hand from your neck he pulls your left leg up so it was raised enough to rest on his hip. Moving his other handhe grabs his cock and lines himself up with your entrance.

“Please. Please.” You continue to beg.

He begins to push inside of you, the head of his cock spreading you wider for him to fill you. Moving your hands to the wet wall, you try to grasp onto something to keep you from movingbut find your hands sliding.

“Shit Doll, I don’t care how many times I’m inside of you. It’s always like the first time.” He says with a moan escaping as he fills you until he’s balls deep.

Negan begins a quick rhythm, his hand grasping onto your lifted leg to keep it in place as he thrusts into you. Looping his other hand over your arm and onto your shoulder; he plunges into you like it was the first time he’s been with you.

“Oh my god.” You moan at the perfect angle of his cock thrusting against your g-spot. “Don’t stop.” You beg.

Negans pounds quicker into your needy cunt, your legs begins to slip from the rapid pace. He tries to keep his grip on your leg high enough to get you off.

“Come on baby, cum on my dick.” He says into your ear, his hand beginning to slip. He continues the quick pace until you feel as if your soaring.

A cry escapes your mouth as you cum against his thrusting length. “Fuck.” You cry out grabbing his hand on your shoulder to keep you from falling.Negan continues to thrust into until you feel too sensitive, pulling up and off his cock you pant against the wall.

“Turn around baby.” He says letting go of your leg and turning you around. Your legs feel as if they’re made of jelly, he pushes you against the wall.

Kissing you passionately, he moves down to pick you up by the back of each leg, throwing your arms around his shoulder he pushes into you from a new position.

He hissed at your tightness, your legs wrapping around his hips to get him closer and deeper inside of you.

Negan begins a slower rhythm than before, you could feel every inch of him leave and return deep inside your walls. The girth of his length causes a loud moan to escape your mouth, throwing your head back in pleasure.

Negan takes advantage of your exposed neck, kissing and biting gently against your skin.

“Harder.” You moan needing him to wreck you. It had been too long since you’ve felt him this close. You want Negan to cause a little bit of pain every time you walk or when you sit. The memory of him pleasuring you in this shower will pop up in your mind.

Negan obliges with your request, your fingers dig deeper into the flesh of his back with the new forceful pace. His heavy breath against your neck, the sound of wet skin on skin echoing inside the shower.

“Fuck Doll, I missed this pussy.” He pants through his thrusts. “I missed taking you like this.” He adds pulling his head back to look into your pleasure filled expression.

“I missed your cock too.” You smile when Negan picks you up slightly by the hips and changes the angle. “Fuck.” You moan closing your eyes and moaning with every harsh trust.

“Take my dick baby.” He groans as he pulls back from the wall, standing in the middle of the shower and making you bounce on his dick. “Take every inch on this cock.” He commands.

“Fuck, you’re so deep.” You exclaim, your hips meeting his pushing him deeper inside you with the new angle and position.

Negan’s rhythm falters when your walls begin to compress in pleasure. His breathing coming in loud pants with every deep thrust.

“Are you gonna cum? You gonna come for me?” He asks.

“Yes sir.” You answer, nails digging deep into his skin. The imagine of the moon crescent indents on Negan’s back pleases your imagination. If only you could look.

“Cum on my cock baby. I need you to cum on my cock again.” He begs needing to feel your pussy squeeze the life out of him.

“Close.” You pant the only word you could vocalize at the moment. The flutter from deep within washes down on you, bouncing yourself on his cock as he pushes deep within you leaves you breathless and needy.

“Cum. Cum for me.” He says in need.

The beautiful sounds coming from your combined bodies, the cooling water and heavy breathing against the both of your necks throws you over the edge.

“I’m cumming.” You moan throwing your head back, your hand grabbing his hair and pulling to help keep you stable. Negan continues his brutal pace as you compress against him.

“Shit.” You cry when it becomes too sensitive. “Stop.”

“Hell no Doll, I’ve waited too long to have you back. We’re just getting started.” He says. Quickly shutting off the water, keeping you lifted he carry’s you out of the tub and into the bedroom. While remaining inside you.

“We’re soaking wet.” You begin as the both of you reach the bed.

Negan smiles towards you before giving you a kiss. “My bed, my rules.” He says placing you on the bed, leaning over you he begins a slow and gentle rhythm.

A small moan escapes your throat, your last orgasms felt as if they took all your energy. Negan has never had this much energy when you’ve been together. While in the shower you could feel he was so close to finishing.

What happened? Why didn’t he finish?

Negan pulls back to look into your eyes, his hand cupping your cheek as he keeps his eyes on you while continuing the slow pace. “My girl.” He whispers.

The realization dawns on you, Negan held on as best as he could to have you like this. He didn’t want to rush it any more then you did. Negan missed you more then you knew.

“Your girl.” You answer him, placing your hand over his on your cheek.

“My beautiful girl.” He quietly says before leaning in and kissing your lips.

He’s being so gentle, making sure to take his time with you in bed. His other hand holds onto your waist, thumb rubbing circles along your skin. This was so much different.

This was something you could get used to.

Negan gives out a low moan, kissing you deeper and picking up the pace. He was close now, his breathing becoming ragged, hips faultier with each thrust as he gets closer and closer to his release.

“Are you close?” He asks sounding as if he were in pain.

A little push would help you come over the edge. With a small moan, you slide your hand down to your aching clit. Rubbing small circles to get you there.

Negan let’s go of your hip, swatting your hand away he rubs his thumb around your needy clit. His panting breath, sound of your combined bodies and his magical thumb pull you to the edge.

“Cum.” He says.

“Cum with me.” You pant holding on until he picks up the pace, balls slapping against your ass and his hand grasping onto your shoulder to push deeper into your needy body.

Negan gasps as your walls contort around his cock. Grabbing onto his back for leverage, you hang on for the ride until you reach the peak of euphoria. Negan moans into your neck, panting with his long waited release.

He pushes himself deep inside of your walls, keeping himself buried until your walls finish spasming. He pulls back to look into your eyes, a smirk upon his face and exhaustion painted on his face.

“Did I tire you out?” You ask with a chuckle. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, you kiss his cheek as you wait for his reply.

“Doll, I’ve been waiting to be with you again. I wanted that to last forever but fuck-“ he pants before taking another deep breath and shaking his head with a smile. “That was exactly what I needed. What we needed.” He says touching your cheek gently with the back of his knuckle.

Smiling towards the man you’ve come to love, you know he’s right. The both of you have been away for sometime; the cravings you’ve had for each other were evident. He needed you and you needed him.

Negan soften inside you while you chat, he pulls out and lifts you bridal style in his arms as he places you in the bed as if ready to sleep for the night.

He crawls in with you once you’ve settled under the sheets, moving to lay your head on his chest; he holds you close to him not wanting to let go.

* * *

Laying on Negan’s chest, listening to his heart beating against your ear. The calming rhythm starts to sooth you almost sleep.

“Doll.” Negan whispers filling the silence in the room.

“Hmm?” You hum not having the energy to answer.

“I’m happy you’re back.” He admits softly, turning his head he kisses your temple gently. “I was beginning to feel like you were never coming back.” He continues, his lips tickling your skin.

Pulling back to look to the handsome man, you shake your head in disbelief. “Since I left The Sanctuary my mind continued to try and figure out how I was going to make it back to you.” You reassure him. “Nothing was going to keep me from you.” You finish.

Negan examine your face, he knew every word was true. He smiles down towards you, leaning in he gives you a breathtaking kiss.

His tongue slips inside your mouth, claiming your lips with his.

Pulling back for much needed air, he gives you peppered kisses against your cheeks.

“I love you Doll.”

“I love you too.” You answer.

A knock on Negan’s door turns both of your attention. Negan grumbles to himself before answering from the bed.

“What?” He snaps.

“Uh, can I open the door?” The same man from earlier asks from the other side of the door.

“No, you most certainly can not.”

“Oh, okay. Uh, I wanted to remind you that your meeting is in a few minutes.” The man says sounding scared he was going to make Negan mad.

“Fuck.” Negan whispers, glancing towards you he kisses your forehead. “This shit gets old.” He whispers against your head.

“Sir?”

“Yeah, I heard you.” Negan answered. “Go tell Simon I’ll be on my way.” He adds.

“Yes sir.”

Moving off of Negan’s chest, throwing the blankets from your naked body; you climb out of the bed and turn to glance towards Negan.

“Love seeing you naked.” He says pulling the sheets off himself and standing from the bed. His large hand spanks you as he passes by and walks towards the bathroom.

“Yeah, I feel the same.” You answer watching his cute ass walk into the bathroom.

Making your way towards your backpack, you grab a clean outfit and begin to dress for the meeting to come. You brush your hair and throw it back into a ponytail.

Grabbing your weapons from the table, you place them in their normal spots. Touching your machete handle, you wait for Negan to come out.

Negan walks out of the bathroom fastening his belt.

“Damn, I love the view.” You comment. He was all man, everything about him was seductive. The way he walked, moved his hands, his very smell.

He winks towards you he pulls you towards him and kisses your forehead. “Not better than mine.” He answers, pulling you closer towards him by your waist; he rubs his hands against your ass. “Damn, makes me want you all over again.” He admits with a chuckle.

“I’m all yours Negan.” You answer.

“Damn straight.” Spanking your ass once again he pulls back and glances towards the door towards the hall. “Fucking meetings. I’m getting sick of them.”

“Who knows, maybe it’s an important meeting.” You answer.

“Mmm. What did I do to deserve such a fucking sexy goddess?”

“Please, you’re the one who takes my breath away when I get one look at you.” You answer.

“Doll, you’re the goddess.”

With a shrug, you pull back from Negan and start towards the door. “Agree to disagree.” You answer.

“You’re too much.” He chuckles.

Nodding you give him a smirk. “You wouldn’t want me any other way.” You answer.

“Damn right.” He says walking towards you, opening the door to the hall. He gives you another kiss before heading out of the room before you.

Walking with Negan towards the meeting room, the both of you keep a small distance from each other to keep people from suspecting anything.

Once the both of you reach the meeting room, Negan stops a few feet away from the door. Turning towards you he places his hand against your arm. “Let me go first. Their not going to like that you’re going to join.” He starts.

He was right. They weren’t expecting you to join in. If they watched you follow him inside they would probably tell Negan that it wasn’t important or that they would discuss it again another time.

“Okay, I’ll wait out here for a few minutes. Once I’m ready I’m coming in.” You answer with a nod.

Negan nods his head. Moving to give you a kiss you quickly stop him. “Someone could see.” You whisper.

He winks towards you understanding, you had to take care of yourself. You had to take care of him.

He walks towards the door, opening it quickly he steps inside. “Alright fellas, this better be good.” Negan starts as he walks inside and closes the door behind himself.

You lean against the wall in silence, making sure to listen to the muffled conversation from inside the meeting room.

“This is good news. Negan, you’re going to be thrilled.” Simon voice pipes up.

_Sure he will_.

“Alright, what you got for me?” He asks.

“Well, it all started when you asked us to head to The Kingdom.” Dwight inserts.

This was it, they were going to try and convince Negan to send a couple of the Saviors and himself into a trap.

“Does it have to do with some of the men we lost?” Negan asks.

“Not exactly.”

“Then what?” He pauses. “Stop beating stone the fucking bush, Dwight.” Negan’s voice booms.

“It’s Rick Grimes.” Dwight blurts.

Silence fills the room for a couple seconds before anyone speaks.

“Rick?” Negan finally speaks his enemy’s name. “What about that fucking cock sucking prick?” He asks.

That was your cue to enter the room. Turning the door knob, you swing the door open. A large smile plastered on your face.

You have so much dirt these two asshats, they have no idea what’s coming for them.

Feeling a bit cocky, you close the door behind you with your foot. Letting out a loud sigh, you place hands on both your hips.

“Shit, sorry I’m late.” You announce.

All the men turn at your sudden burst. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with your machete.

“What did I miss?” You ask glancing between all three men.

“Uh, what are you doing in-“ Simon begins to ask.

“I’m a savior. I belong in these meetings.” You interrupt glancing towards the man with the mustache.

“Some savior. I haven’t seen you in weeks, where have you been?” Simon asks. He crosses his arms over his chest, tilting his head as he waits for you to show your reaction.

“Uh, I’ve been around.” You answering his question as if he offended you. “I was right there with you when we checked out The Hilltop.” You hope he would try to think too hard about that day.

Simon lifts an eyebrow and places both arms by his side. “Normally you would ride with Negan. You didn’t that day. Where were you?” He points out the facts before glancing towards Negan to try and convince Negan that you’ve been missing for some time.

Walking further into the room, you stand in between Simon and Dwight. “Negan and I got into an argument that day. I didn’t want to ride with him.” You answer. “Enough with me.” You raise your voice. “I don’t know how these things work. Do we share stories or news?” You asks glancing towards Negan.

Negan bites his bottom lip as he watches you. He was trying to remain as calm as possible, he was already upset that Simon was trying to get you into some kind of trouble. Negan clears his throat and nods. “Yeah Doll, we do.” He answers.

“I wasn’t finished.” Dwight says before you could say anything else.

With a nod, you lean against the wall and tell him to continue.

Dwight turns from you to look to Negan, his eyes flashing a bit of nervousness. “I know where Rick whereabouts are.” He starts.

Negan raises his eyebrows in surprise. He eyes you quickly before nodding his head. He was confused but he was going to give Dwight the benefit of the doubt.

“Good, it’s about fucking time we found him.”

“Seriously, that was the whole reason we raided The Hilltop in the first place and that was a bust.” You glance in between both the lying saviors. “This is good for us.” You add.

Negan’s eyebrows slightly scrunch together, the other two miss the movement when they turn to eye you.

“So where is he?” You ask looking to Dwight.

Dwight turns away from you and glances towards Negan. He raises an eyebrow. “Rick is hiding inside a building, him and some of the rest of his people.” He answers.

Negan blinks, taking in every word that was told to him. He places his hand onto his chin, before looking to you.

He wasn’t going to ask out loud but he was confused, he knew you would never lie to him or make up any kind of stories. He leans back in his chair and glances towards Dwight once again.

“A building?” He asks.

“Yeah, I spotted him yesterday while on my way to The Kingdom.” He answers.

“Wow, that’s all really good new.” You begin. Moving away from the wall, you place both hands on each hip. “I have some news as well.”

“Don’t we want to try to head to the building? I mean, we can make it there by night fall and sneak attack them all.” Simon says ignoring every word you had said.

Negan sighs loudly, rubbing the invisible stress from his face. Negan was tired, he was tired of dealing with Rick’s people, he was tired of having losing saviors and he was tired of being rushed to get the job done.

“Simon, I’m not going to worry about Rick and the gang for now. They’re obviously scared of us, we have more people, we have the guns and we know their whereabouts.”

Simon shakes his head.

“Always stalling, we have the right opportunity and you’re going to waste it because why, you’re afraid?” Simon asks.

“I have no fear in dealing with Rick’s people. I’m not afraid, we have sent out enough men and lost them all because of Rick’s people. I need you to realize that we have done all we can right now. I will not loose anymore of my men. Is that clear?” Negan asks

Dwight shakes his head, he glances towards you before speaking. “You’ve got him by the balls.”

Negan almost falls to the ground in shock. You could feel a gasp escape your throat, Dwight was never the kind of person to start any assumptions. This was different, this was new.

He wanted to play hard ball, he was in for a treat. This was going to be fun.

“Excuse-“

“You heard me, since you’ve walked your ass into these wall all those months ago Negan has bent over backwards for you. Changed certain rules and made you a part of his team.”

“Oh please Dwight, you’re only bitching because you only became a part of the team after you got the iron. And to be honest we all know that he made you a savior so he could keep an eye on you.” You spit your words out like fire.

Dwight’s eye widen in shock that you would throw his past mistake into his face.

“What, you didn’t think I knew about that? Please, you both were hot shit when I came in. Walking around Negan like a dog with his tail tucked in his legs. Also I have never had to do anything Negan never wanted. In fact, he has always made his own goddamn decisions, he was the one who decided to make me a savior, he was the one who placed me in my groups, he was the one who made sure I was respected here.” You continue. “By the way, it’s a shame what happened to your wife.” Placing both hands into your pockets you watch his reaction.

Dwight scrunches how eyebrows together as if it were news to him. “I don’t know what you’re talking-“

“Enough with the bullshit Dwight, we all know you know; the entire Sanctuary knows.” You roll your eyes. “That reminds me, let’s play a little game.” Glancing towards Negan, you want to make sure he was okay with your suggestion.

Negan nods once before keeping his eyes on the other two men in the room.

“Perfect, we’re gonna play a game called Two Truths And A Lie. Simple, I’ll tell you two true things that I’ve experienced and one lie, all three of you will have to try and figure out the lie.” You finish. “Got it?”

You move to the other end of the table, jumping on the ledge of the table, you cross your legs as you stare towards all three men.

“For example; I once had a dog named spike, I lost my virginity on my sixteenth birthday and I once played strip poker with a famous ladies man.” You smile. “Now, you would try to figure out-“

“Who gives a rats ass about this fucking game?” Simon interrupts with a roll of his eyes.

“All in good time Simon. For that, you’ll never find out the lie.” You shrug and close your eyes as if you were trying to figure out what the other three you were going to choose. “Now, let’s begin.” Glancing towards Simon once again.

“Okay. Keep up boys cause I’m going to only say these once.” You slide off the table and walk back towards the middle of the boys. “I ran into Sherry; who gave me a nice new scar on my goddamn leg, I got a front row seat in a discussion of two men in a group willing to kill their leader for a get-out-of-jail-free-card.” Looking between both men, Simon’s eyebrows raise slightly and Dwight looses all the color in his face. Knowing you got both of them you continue. “I have this tattoo on my back, with my ex boyfriend’s name. I guess you would call it a tramp stamp.” You shrug. “The words are in cursive, but no matter what font they wrote it in; nothing could make the name Hank look good.” You shake your head and glance towards Negan.

Negan’s face grows a dark red shade, he knew what the lie is, he knew his men were trying to get him killed and now learned who had hurt you today. He most likely was angry with you for not telling him what you knew but you needed to do it with all of them in the same place.

“Any guesses?” You ask.

“You think you’re really cute? You think you can walk in here and make up these lame ass lies. You think we give a rats ass about a fucking tattoo? You think we care about Sherry? About those two people?” Simon asks.

“You should.” You answer.

“And why the fuck should we do that?”

“Because I don’t have a tattoo.” You answer with a shrug.

Simon stands to his feet, walking inches towards you. He stops right in front of your face, his eyes shining with the same look Sherry had today.

They had been caught, they thought they could get away with their plan and walk out of The Sanctuary without any problems. They really thought they could convince Negan into leaving The Sanctuary to an abandoned building where they would have killed Rick and hurt Negan.

“Enough.” Negan shouts as he stands from his seat.

Turning from Simon, you swallow down fear of pissing him off. Was he angry with you?

“Sir, she’s causing problems.” Simon begins.

“I said enough.” He turns towards you, his face filled with anger.

“Do you find trouble or does it find you?” Negan asks.

It was a rhetorical question, he didn’t want you to answer but of course you being you; you speak before your brain can process what you were doing.

“It seems to find me.” You answer. “I mean, they never got a chance to guess before I told them the answers.” You shrug.

“Shut the fuck up bitch!” Simon shouts.

Negan and you both turn in surprise by the balding mans outburst.

“What the fuck did you say to her?” Negan shouts towards the man he once called friend.

Simon glances in between the both of you. His eyes widening in surprise.

“I. I didn’t-“

“You didn’t what? Mean to call her a bitch or try to fuck me over?” Negan asks taking a few steps around the table to reach the three of you.

Simon shakes his head. “She’s lying. Ehh would we do that to you? I have all I need here. So does Dwight.”

“Actually he doesn’t.” You chime in.

Negan snaps his fingers towards you to stop you from speaking he takes a step towards Simon and stops a few feet away from him.

“I believe her.”

“Negan, she’s a woman. Women lie.”

“She’s never lied to me.” Negan answers.

“Or so you think.” Simon inserts.

“Don’t try turning your guilty conscience on an innocent person. You know what you did, you know what you were trying to do. Grow a pair of balls and own up to your actions.” You shout the the balding man.

Simon takes the last couple steps towards you, his face flushed read with anger.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He asks.

A smile appears on your lips. “I’m Negan’s future wife. I’m a woman who will do anything to help the man she loves. To keep him safe from men like you.” You answer, grabbing your machete you stab Simon in the stomach. “That’s who I am.” Turning the blade in his stomach, you look into the mans face watching the life begin to slip from his eyes. Blood dribbles from his lips.

Pulling the blade out, you turn and glance towards Negan. His eyes are filled with surprise, fear and worry. You had just stabbed Negan’s friend, a man he’s known longer than you. The man who’s been with him since before Rick became an issue. The man who was willing to kill him.

Simon turns to glance towards Negan before falling to the ground.

Lifeless.

Dwight stares towards his friend, horror decorating his face. He holds on tightly to the chair by him for leverage.

Negan turns towards you, face filled with concern. He blinks before shaking his head. “You. You killed Simon.” He says voice filled with dread.

“He was going to kill you. I did this for us.” You answer shaking your head. Wiping the blood from your machete onto your pant leg, you place the blade back into its sheath.

Dwight moves to run out of the room. Negan quickly hooks the man by the neck with Lucille; causing Dwight to fall to the ground.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Negan asks the burnt man.

“I-“

“You don’t get to leave.” You answer kneeling by him. “You have no where to go.” You add with a shake of your head as a smirk grows upon your face.

“She-“ Dwight pauses before shaking his head. “Sher-“

“Oh, you still think Sherry is waiting for you.” You smack your lips together. With a shake of your head, you stand up once again and lean against the table.

“She’s waiting for me.”

Negan meets your eye, confusion casted on his face. He didn’t understand but you would explain.

“She was waiting.” You answer. “I mean, her corpse is still there.” You add.

“No!” He shouts in horror.

“Did you really think I was lying about seeing her?” You ask. “The bitch stabbed my leg. Tried to kill me.” You add.

“Where is she?” Dwight asks.

“Come on Dwight, use that messed up brain of yours.” You chuckle. “She’s back in your shithole of a house.”

“She’s not dead!” He shouts.

“Are you sure, that bullet hole in her eye says a different story.” You answer with a shrug.

“You killed her?” He asks sobbing into his arm.

“The bitch had it coming, like I said it was in self defense. I didn’t really want to kill her.” You explain.

Dwight cries onto the floor, his face pressed close to the tile as he sobs mournful tears. In between sobs he croaks Sherry’s name.

Negan keeps his eyes on you, his facial expressions having changed to calm.

“So that’s why you didn’t want to tell me?” Negan starts, pointing towards your wounded leg.

Lifting an eyebrow, you take a step towards him. “I couldn’t talk about it then; I was heartbroken from my actions. I never wanted to kill anyone.” You answer.

“Now you’ve killed two.” Negan comments.

“She knew the plan, it made sense. She was waiting for Dwight and Simon to return letting her know that you were obliterated. She wanted you dead, just like Simon.” You point to the dead man on the ground. “Just like him.” You point to Dwight. “I wasn’t going to let them kill you.” You shake your head, nothing was going to get in between Negan and you.

“Doll, you know I could have-“

“Don’t you start. I don’t need to hear that you could have handled it on your own. You would have done the same exact thing if it were about me.” You argue.

“Hey, I’m not telling you that I wouldn’t. I was just trying to tell you that I could’ve have figured it out.”

“You would have never figured it out.” You guffaw as you stare towards the man you love. “This was the reason I was sent out to be your spy. I did it all for you. I killed both of them for us. I couldn’t let them try to keep me away from you.” You answer, tears falling once you explain yourself.

“Doll.”

“I’d do it again too. Nothing or nobody is going to keep us from spending our life together.”

Negan takes the last couple steps towards you, grabbing you bu the back of the head; he fists your hair within his hand and pulls you in for a rough kiss.

“Fuck you. Fuck the both of you.” Dwight shouts from the ground as he moves to stand.

Negan grips Lucille, pulling back from the kiss he presses the baseball bat against Dwights chest.

“What are we going to do about him?” Negan asks, he was actually asking you on what to do. Letting you take the lead and make the decision.

The only important question is to either let Dwight live or die.

“It all depends on him.” Tilting your head to the side, you keep your eyes on the fearsome man.

“What will it be? Do you think you can just walk away from this and continue to be a savior or are you going to continue to be a problem?”

Dwight swallows down his anger, the back of his legs leaning against the table. He states towards you, his eyes clear of the fear they once displayed.

“Everyone is going to know what you did to Simon and Sherry the first chance I get.” He answers spitting the words.

“Wrong answer.” Negan announces. Pulling Lucille back, he bashes Dwight on the left side of his skull.

Dwights jaw snapping out of place, he falls back down to his knees. Letting out a gasp of pain, a deep mangled moan escapes his throat.

Negan swings the bat once again, the wood and barbed wire crashing into the top of Dwight’s head. Dwight lays upon the floor, a large pool of blood decorating the tile.

“Fuck, look at Lucille in action.” Negan begins, continuing to smash the wood into the mans crushed skull. “She’s dripping Ruby’s. It’s fucking beautiful.” Negan praises.

Dwight’s body jerks and twitches, Negan swinging Lucille over his shoulder. Eyeing their handy work, he takes a deep breath. “Damn baby, we make a fucking amazing team.” He says taking a step over Dwight’s body and towards you.

“I agree, I loved how fast you took action.” You eye the bodies laying upon the floor.

“He fucking deserved it.”

“They all did.” You answer.

Negan pulls you towards him, a growl leaving his throat before kissing your lips. His lip move down your face, jaw and onto your neck. With another growl he bites hard onto the sensitive skin of your neck.

A moan escapes your throat. Grabbing Negan by his shoulders for stability, you pull back.

“Not here. Someone will see.”

Negan loosens his jaw from your neck, licking the deep bite marks. “You’re right.” He answers before pulling back and glancing around the room. “Let’s find someone to clean this mess.” He answers grabbing you by the hand and leading you out the door.

Finding a couple saviors to head to the meeting room to clean up the bodies; Negan leads you back into his room. He turns around to look at you, his face stern.

“That’s it? Here?” He asks.

“Here, yeah. Nobody else was plotting against you. Just the dead assholes.” You answer.

“How couldn’t I see it?” Be asks taking a seat on the couch.

“You couldn’t have known.” You reassure him, taking a step towards the couch. Placing your hand onto his shoulders, you move your hands slowly up onto his neck and into his hair.

“Two of them, playing Judas. I thought-“ he pauses and shakes his head.

He thought they were friends, working together to help one another. Negan lost two people he trusted, would put his life on the line for. He was heartbroken at the loss.

“You can’t blame yourself for their actions. They did it all to themselves. You were the only one not living a lie.”

Negan shakes his head, turning to look at you. He grins towards you. “I was wrong by the way.” He says before clearing his throat.

He leans onto his elbows against his legs as he rubs the invisible stress from his face. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but he looks exhausted and now even more stressed than before.

“About?” You ask a little confused where the conversation was leading.

“You did earn your place as a savior.” He answers.

“Negan.” You shake your head, you couldn’t talk about it again. It would only lead the both of you into an argument once again.

“In changed my mind. I want you to remain a savior, you’ll just be living in the same room as me.” He smirks.

“You’re serious?” You ask, trying to keep the excitement hidden as best as possible.

“Yeah Doll, you think you’re up for the challenge?”

“It’s never been to hard to begin with. I think I can handle whatever comes my way.” Uou answer leaning in and giving a kiss on his temple.

Negan pulls back, eyeing you he gives you a cheeky grin.

“What?” You ask with a chuckle escaping.

“Did you mean it?”

“Did I mean what?”

“What you told Simon.” He pauses. Placing you onto his lap, he keeps his eyes on you. “That you’re my future wife?” He finishes.

You didn’t think he would have caught your words. It was the spur of the moment, you needed to show Simon that what he was doing to Negan was in fact personal. You care for Negan, he treats you well for the most part. You’ve become a strong team, strong enough to withstand something so hard like killing his men. His friends.

You couldn’t imagine your life without him.

“Yeah, I did. I do.” You answer.

“Good.” He says with a smile before leaning in to give you a kiss.

Lifting your hand uou pause him from meeting his lips with yours.

“I have one condition of you want me to be your wife.”

Negan’s shoulders slouch slightly, he sighs before blinking towards you. “What’s the condition?”

“Then I’m all yours.”

“That’s what I want.” He answers with a nod.

You rub your thumb against his cheekbone, meeting his eyes you let the words leave your mouth. Nothing was going to stop you this time.

“I have to be your only wife.”


	27. All Out Of Love

Standing inside The Sanctuary walls, the large warehouse is filled with every savior. Negan stands in the middle of the large group, his eyes meeting everyone in the room.

“Alright, since we have everybody here; we can get started.” Negan begins, his voice filling the large room. “Starting with our favorite subject; Rick Grimes.”

Someone in the room gasps in surprise. That name was a scary story to some or an adventure for another.

“We know his location; we know he’s staying put in The Hilltop.” He announces, with a shake of his head he continues. “No, we’re not going after any of them now.”

The entire room erupts in conversation, some people shouting in anger, some in question and others confused.

“This is not up for discussion. I have made the decision to hold off due to my plethora of my fucking men we’ve lost recently.” He continues to look around the room, his eyes filled with fire with from the reaction of the others.

“What if they come after us?” Someone shouts from the back.

“If they do, we’ll be ready. I’m going to have a mass of you around the exterior of the building keeping watch. We have the ammo, vehicles and men in case Rick decides to make a visit.” Negan glances towards you, turning to look away from him you keep your eyes on the others in the room.

Negan and you had fought about your conditions, he didn’t agree with them and has refused to choose.

Feeling his eyes on your back, you wait it out until he looses hope and continues his all staff meeting.

“What about Simon and Dwight?” A new man you don’t recognize asks. The man was tall, long brown hair, matching long beard, broad shoulders and muscles that could put any bodybuilder to shame.

“What about them?” Negan asks taking a single step forward.

“Well they were-“

“Traitors.” You answer quickly. “They were trying to kill your leader. Which means they were trying to kill all of us.” Stepping closer towards the new man, you eye him worried he knew the plan they created.

“They couldn’t kill all of us.” The man says taking a step closer to the middle of the room just feet away from you.

You don’t know the man, don’t know where he came from, or who invited him to become a savior but he must have missed the other meetings. He mustn’t know who Negan is and what he’s capable of.

“I think someone forgot who they are.” You announce to the others in the room, turning to look around you ask the one important question. “Who are you?”

“Negan!” Everyone answers in unison; except for the tall man in front of you.

“If Negan dies?”

“We all die.” Negan says taking the last couple steps to stand by your side. He leans against Lucille as if she were a cane. “What’s your name?” Negan asks the tall man.

The man swallows quickly in fear. He glances towards you and back towards Negan. “N-Negan.” He answers sounding as if he was questioning his answer.

“No fuck face, your real name.” Negan shakes his head and leans in towards the man waiting for the mans reply.

“Jude.” He answers his voice filled with fear.

“Jude?” He squints towards the long haired man. “How long have you been in the Sanctuary?”

He glances towards you and back towards Negan. “A few weeks.”

“Who brought you here?” You ask.

“Simon.”

“What were his plans with you?” Negan asks. He must have thought the same thing you had.

Where the plans to kill Negan known for the new men?

Did they still think they were supposed to follow through with the plan?

“He never said any kind of plan. He said more men were welcome.” He answers.

“The expendables.” You whisper towards Negan.

A smirk appears upon Negan’s lips. “Jude, you were a part of the plan after all.” He shakes his head. “Of course you hand no damn clue. He needed more men so we didn’t lose any of our other saviors.” He finishes with another shake of his head.

“A pawn.” You comment quickly towards the tall man.

Jude keeps his eyes on you, he takes a deep breath and nods his head. “I understand. I was supposed to be killed but here I am alive and well because of your help.” He says looking to Negan.

“No, more like hers. She’s the one that saved all of us.” Negan says turning towards you. You keep your head down, eyes downcast to the floor and examining your shoes.

You did it for Negan, all of it to keep him safe. He appreciated it enough to tell everyone in the room but not enough to choose you as his only wife.

“Without Negan, I wouldn’t be safe.” Jude continues. “Long live Negan.” Jude shouts.

“Long live Negan!” The others around the room begin to shout. Echoing the words through the warehouse.

Negan lifts his hand to silence the entire room. The chanting stoping all at once.

“Jude, I like you. Come and have a conversation with me after our meeting.” He says.

Jude nods and he steps back into the crowd of people.

Negan then turns his attention back to the room and continues his announcements. 

“When we finally decide to make a visit to The Hilltop, they won’t have any clue, but until that time we will lay low. Get our shit from The Kingdom and head back to base. The Hilltop was Simon’s area, now we have no need for them.” He pauses. “Do I make myself clear?” He asks.

“Yes Negan.” All the voices in the room ring.

“Alright, back to work.” He says before turning to eye you. Everyone begins to walk back to their normal working areas.

You keep your eyes forward ignoring Negan’s stare, you were pissed with him and his dumb ass decision. Through the dispersing people, you notice Jude standing in the same spot waiting for that chat.

Negan notices the man you’re watching. A small chuckle escapes his throat. “Good little soldier.” Negan murmurs before walking towards the tall man. “Come, walk with us.” Negan says to Jude.

Negan starts towards the stairs to the hall, Jude follows behind him and you walk last. You didn’t want to be with the both of them, knowing damn well Negan was going to recruit him to work for Gavin for the Kingdom run.

Negan leads to the room where you had killed Simon, the very same room you had had amazing sex with Negan before leaving to The Hilltop. Jude follows Negan inside, taking a seat at the end of the table he silently tells Jude to take a seat.

Jude moves to the other end, his eyes meeting Negan. He seemed afraid of what Negan could do, afraid he was in trouble for starting a kind of stir within the community.

“Tell me Jude, what did you do before the world went to shit?” Negan begins, resting Lucille against the table.

Jude eyes the baseball bat, he meets Negan’s eye once again. “I owned a bar in town. Opened it back in 07. Loved that place to death until the damn dead starting walking around.”

Negan smiles. “Damn, that’s the dream for most men. Own a bar, free liquor and the women.” He looks into the distance as if the idea were within reaching distance.

You clear your throat, hoping to remind him that you were in fact in the room and that the dream was only a memory for anyone.

“Excuse me.” Negan shakes his head before glancing towards you. “My apologies, let me introduce you to my right hand woman, my beautiful wife.” Negan smiles, using his gloved hand to point towards you.

“Oh, hello.” He eyes between you then back to Megan. “Don’t, don’t you have six wives already?” Jude asks.

Negan’s eyes widen in surprise that he would ask such a question.

You smile towards the long haired man. He was in fact right, Negan has more wives than he needs. “We’re working on that.” You shrug as you walk towards the other side of the table. “Aren’t we Negan?” You glance towards the man you’ve been angry with.

Negan clears his throat, keeping his eyes on the man. He doesn’t dare to take one look at you.

The petty side of you screams to add a couple more cents into the conversation. Wanting to see Negan’s reaction, keeping your eyes focused on him you begin to speak. “Also, I’m not his wife.”

“Oh.” Jude says in shock.

Negan finally turns to meet your eye, his face flushing with embarrassment. He glares at you before turning his attention back to Jude.

Negan clears his throat. “Tell me, have you gone on any of our runs?” Negan changes the subject.

Here it is, the conversation that bores you to your very core. Looking away you stare towards the wood of the table. Imagining what it had looked like before it was carved, sanded and chopped from the woods.

“Not yet. I was told about them a few times from some of the other men.” He answers.

“I’m going to have you go along with the next run, to The Kingdom. I want you to get used to being out with the others and all the action.” Negan begins.

“That’s awesome, I would be honored to help. Is there anything I need to know?” He asks.

You turn to look to the man, his eyes glancing between you and Negan.

“Don’t let Jared get under your skin.” You answer.

Negan then glances towards you; shaking his head. “Jared was killed.” Negan says throwing a cannonball of information your way. “That raid to The Kingdom was his last.” He adds with a hint of irritation in his voice.

“Good fucking riddance.” You murmur with a shrug.

“Hey, that was one of my men.” Negan yells towards you.

“He tried to hurt me, he’s gone and that’s that. He’ll be missed like a sore.”

Negan glances towards Jude, the man seeming shocked with your outburst of happiness of loosing someone in your community.

“Jude, could you give us a moment please.” Negan asks the man.

Jude nods as he gets up from his seat and walks out the room and closes the door behind himself to give the both of you privacy.

“What the hell is your problem?” Are you trying to embarrass me?” Negan begins.

“Oh yes Negan, that was the plan all along. I hoped you would learn something from it.” You answer sarcastically.

Negan shakes his head, making his way towards you he stops once he’s right by the chair you sit on. “This is about the other wives, isn’t it?” He asks.

“Oh, lightbulb.” You roll your eyes.

“You know I can’t-“

“You can! What the fuck do you need with six wives?” You yell. Not giving him time to reply, you stand from your seat and stand inches in front of Negan.“After they lied to you about Sherry, kept her whereabouts a secret from you. You’re still going to keep them?” You ask eyeing his face.

You hope you would finally get into his head. Change his mind or show him how untrustworthy the other women are.

He eyes you quickly. “This isn’t your concern.” He says shaking his head.

“It is! You want me to be your wife, then fucking get rid of those other bitches. You can’t have your cake and eat it too!”

“I’m not going to talk to you about this now.” He tries to walk past you.

Inside you feel your stomach twist into a large ball, anger rising from deep within you. The ground feeling like lava.

“I’m done.” You snap. Finally reaching your peak, you’ve done too much for him to continue playing this dumb game of cat and mouse. You were done being second best.

“What?” Negan stops in his tracks. He turns towards you and gawks at you in shock.

“I’m not going to continue this game. After all I’ve been through for you, what I’ve done for you. I’m putting my foot down.” You shout in anger.

He stares at you, his face calm as he listens. He swallows down a lump in his throat before trying to speak.

“Doll-“

“No, you don’t get to call me that anymore. I’m not going to continue this dance with you Negan. You want a right hand woman, fine. I’ll give that to you but that’s all I’ll be to you.” You take a deep breath. “Don’t expect anything else. Don’t get your hopes up like I did, it will just be a mistake in the end.” Walking past Negan, you open the door and exit the meeting room.

Jude stands with his back to the wall. His eyes meeting yours. He tries to keep the pink from his face from showing but fails.

You knew he heard all of it. Honestly you didn’t blame him for listening or catching what had happened in the meeting room.

“I’m sorry.” You say softly to the man, your voice breaking slightly.

“No, I’m sorry.” He says gently, his eyes shining with something.  


Understanding?

_Has he been in my shoes?_ You think to yourself before feeling your heart break.

You had finally ended the torture with Negan and your awe full waiting game. Turning towards the other end of the hall, you walk quickly to Negan’s room.

Grabbing your things from his room, you start towards your old room. 

Opening the door to your old room, you take a deep breath as you walk inside and place your things on the bed.

Feeling at home for the first time since you returned to the Sanctuary, you hold yourself in a hug and begin to cry.

How could you let him do this to you again?

Make you believe you would be enough for him, the only woman in the world for him.

You’re done lying to yourself. It wasn’t fun for you to continue to let your heart be broken.

This was the reason you had stopped dating in the first place. The reason you kept to yourself, you were tired of behind hurt.

Negan had told you all those weeks back to give him a chance to show you how a real man is supposed to treat his woman.

Unfortunately, you never got to see it.

“Stop crying.” You whisper to yourself. Wiping the tears with the back of your hand, you shake your head and take a deep breath.

This wasn’t your first break up. This wasn’t the first time long cried over this man.

It had been a couple days since you told Negan your condition. To be his only wife and yet he couldn’t pick which one he wants.

Taking his choice away from him was better for yourself. The ache in your heart continues to pound for attention.

You were no longer going to wait for a different decision to be made. There wouldn’t be another outcome.

If Negan wants you enough, he’ll have to prove himself worthy enough tries take him back. Unfortunately at this point, he was hopeless.

* * *

You wake on your own, the sun not having risen yet. Remaining in bed, you look around the room and just breathe.

You didn’t imagine that this was how it would lead to when you got back from The Hilltop. Breaking up with Negan, returning to your old room and hopefully keeping away from Negan. 

You needed a break from seeing him, away from the areas he goes and the people he talks to. Sitting up in bed, you decide you don’t want to mope around all day or for weeks like you had with your last breakup.

You were going to keep yourself moving, happy and continue living life the way that will make you feel whole.

Moving off the bed and changing, you head out of your room and head into the working area. Check out what you could get, meet some new people.

Walking through the crowded area, you eye the different sections. A woman sitting on a chair sews a shirt, a man on the other side cleans a gun.

You had been lucky enough to not work in these areas, you always liked the action. This would have made you go crazy.

“Please.” A female voice pleads from the other area.

Walking over, you notice an old woman and a savior face to face. The man was holding a knife and a dead squirrel.

The old woman had to be in her late 70’s. Her grey hair up in a French twist. Very thin, skin wrinkled with sun spots decorating her hands. She gives out a sweet, loving demeanor.

She used to be someone’s mother, a wife and a grandmother. She almost reminds you of your own grandma.

“Stupid bitch, you can’t do anything right.” The man shouts.

“You haven’t given me a chance-“

“I could kill you right now and no one would miss you. You’re a waste of space and no good for us.” The man says to the old woman.

“What the hell did you just say?” You ask stepping towards the both of them.

The man turns and raises his eyebrows when he sees you.

“I-“

“Did you just threaten this old woman?” You ask your voice filled with anger.

“Listen-“

“You’re telling me to listen? I don’t think so.” You shake your head. “You do not threaten people on my watch. Especially and old defenseless woman like her.”

He gnaws into his bottom lip, thinking about your words. “She made a mess of my squirrel.” He says showing you the slice up carcass.

“You didn’t let me finish.” The old woman says.

“Shut up you dirty-“

You had enough with this asshole. You throw a single punch to his jaw, causing him to fall back in surprise. He drops his knife and squirrel on the ground to clutch onto his jaw.

“I thought I just told you to leave her alone.” You say to the man.

The entire room silenced, watching the scene in front of them. The man spits out some blood before glancing towards you with anger.

“You filthy cunt.” He shouts, taking two steps towards you he throws a punch with his right hand.

Quickly side stepping you meet your right hip against his, right leg behind his and pushing his chin up and turning him around throwing him to the ground.

He lets out a heavy breath, eyes wide in shock.

People gasp in surprise and others praise your skills. Kneeling over him you put your lips right by his ear.

“You even come near her again, I’ll kill you myself. Do I make myself clear?” You ask.

He nods.

“I said do I make myself clear?” You raise your voice.

“Yes!” He shouts back.

“Get the fuck out of my sight!” You order.

The man grunts as he climbs up and runs out of the room. Turning to look to the older woman you give her a smile.

“Are you okay?” You sweetly ask.

The older woman nods her head softly. “My dear, you didn’t need to do that for me.” She says her old wrinkled hand touching your younger one.

“Of course I did. You didn’t deserve to be talked to like that. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”

She shakes her head. “These men have been stepping on me since I was brought here.” She answers.

“Well that’s not going to happen anymore. I’m here now.” You answer with a smile.

The old woman smiles sweetly towards you. She stands and wraps you in her arms in a sweet hug. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” You hug her back. What has this woman gone through? How many Saviors have treated her this way?

Pulling back you look into her blue eyes. She was slow due to her old age but she was still able enough to work.

“I’m Eleanor.” She says touching your cheek with their hand

Giving her a smile you introduce yourself. “Why do they have you working?”

“Per my request.” She shrugs slightly. “I hate not having anything to do. I’m one of those old gals that need to do something or I’ll go stir crazy.” She says shaking her head just thinking about not having any work.

“What do you do if you don’t mind me asking?”

She smirks. “I have this area to clean all the game. Any kind of meat I can cut and cook.” She stops and glances towards her area before speaking again. “My late husband was a hunter. He could hunt anything and keep us fed for years. He hated that I wouldn’t have anything to do when he got back from his hunts so I asked him to let me clean and cut. We made a great team.” She smiles sweetly thinking of the memory.

“That’s definitely a useful skill now.” You smirk.

“It would be if anyone hunts.” She shakes her head. “Nobody hunts their own food. Everything we get is brought from the other groups. We’re spoiled here and everyone takes it for granted.”

“Well Eleanor, you’re in luck. I hunt. Well, I mean I’m still learning to hunt.” You answer.

“Really? Pretty girl like you, I wouldn’t have guessed it. Weapon of choice?”

“Bow. Old hobby, per parents request.” You smile.

“I always loved the bow. My husband would use it just for me. He was an amazing hunter.” She smiles once again.

“If you like, I wouldn’t mind hunting. It will give us both something to do and help me train some more with the bow.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” She says with a smile. Glancing over your shoulder she quickly moves down to her knees.

Instantly you knew Negan was around. Noticing the others around the area move to their knees, you turn and watch Negan walk towards you.

Your heart begins to pound within your chest. From pain and from anger. Swallowing down a lump in your throat you let Negan stop in front of you.

“You want to tell me what the hell happened?” He begins.

“Can you elaborate?” You ask.

“One of my saviors came into my office with a busted lip telling me a crazy bitch attacked him.” He explains keeping his eyes focused on you.

“Well, you found the crazy bitch. But I didn’t attack him.” You shrug. “That asshole threatened and was harassing this sweet old woman Eleanor.” You glance towards the old woman and back to Negan. “The asshole deserved it.” You answer.

Negan turns towards the other end and meets eyes with the savior.

Negan quickly snaps his fingers. A couple Saviors grabbing the man by the arms. “Take him to the cell. Get him the hell out of here.” Negan orders to the saviors.

They nod and drag the man by the arms out of the warehouse.

Negan turns to glance towards you again. His eyes examining your face, he lifts his gloved hand and tries to grab your hand.

Quickly pulling back and stepping away from him, you step closer towards the older woman. “Thank you for helping her, she didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I had to protect her.”

“That’s my job.” He answers trying to remind you that he was the boss.

“I didn’t see you kick his ass.” You answer crossing your arms over your chest.

Negan blinks, his eyebrow lifting slightly as he examines your stern features.

Negan wasn’t angry with you, the look expresses his interest that you had blew him off and took care of a bully for him.

“Touché.” He answers. “Ms. Eleanor, looks like you have a bulldog under your protection.” Negan says to the woman behind you.

“She’s a sweetheart. I’ll keep her.” She says kindly.

Negan smirks towards Eleanor before meeting your eyes. “Can we talk?” He asks quietly.

“I have nothing to say.” You answer with a shrug.

“Doll-“

“I told you not to call me that anymore. You lost that right.” You answer. “Now if you don’t mind, I think you’ve overstepped your welcome.” You turn and walk towards the old woman.

Negan let’s out a sigh before walking away. You turn your head to watch him leave. Giving Eleanor a hand; you lift her back up from her kneeling position.

“Thank you, Dear.” She says kindly. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk with him?” She asks.

“I’m positive.” You answer.

“Must be difficult to try and keep your feelings hidden from your ex lover who happens to be your boss.” She whispers.

Glancing towards the woman you almost fall over with shock. 

Was it that obvious?

Did everyone else know?

“How?”

“His eyes. Those eyes were filled with guilt. He looked at you as if you were a piece of gold that he had lost while sifting.” She shakes her head at her analogy.

“Good. Cause he did.” You comment bitterly.

“My Dear, we all make mistakes.”

“I’m not going to sit and wait for him to choose between me or his wives. He already made it clear that he didn’t want to lose them.” You explain.

“Oh, my Dear. I’m sorry.” She says gently as she wraps you in her arms and gives you a comforting hug. “That boy is going to realize he lost something very important. He already looks lost without you my dear.”

“He’s going to need to get used to it.” You answer.

Eleanor rubs her hands along your back, making sure to keep you comforted and loved during these hard times.

She pulls back and looks to you. “How about we talk about hunting. What kind of game you can find.” She says sweetly.

Nodding your head, you take a deep breath to keep your mind focused and relaxed. This time with your new friend wasn’t going to be about heart ache and pain. You want to learn as much as you can from this kind, wise woman.


	28. Need To Let It Go

“How are you feeling today?” Eleanor asks handing you a small bowl of stew.

Yesterday was the first day you headed out of the woods and hunted on your own. You were lucky this time around, finding actual game and not flesh hungry geeks.

“I’m fine.” You answer taking the bowl from her and playing with the stew with your spoon.

She keeps her eyes on you and raises an eyebrow. It’s been 5 days since you last ran into Negan. 5 days talking with Eleanor; learning how to move on, keep positive and livewith a fixing heart.

“Really?” She asks.

“Yup, I’m pretty good today.” You answer lifting the spoon and eating a mouthful of delicious stew.

“After your small breakdown yesterday?” She asks lifting her spoon.

In mid chew you close your eyes, place your hands over your face and begin to cry. “I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he used to hold me. I was feeling so lonely earlier today, I had to get out of these damn walls and hunt.” You explain with embarrassment.   


“Why does he have so much control over my thoughts?” You ask yourself out loud but hopefully Eleanor could help you with a few pointers.

“Well dear, you’re letting him. He doesn’t have control over your mind, he doesn’t make you think of him. That’s what you do to yourself, you’re punishing yourself over doing something right for yourself. You know it’s good, but your heart is telling you otherwise.” She answers placing her hand against your leg.

“Why? Why does my heart tell me otherwise?”

She gives a small hurt smile, pinches your cheek gently with the hand that was on your leg and uses her thumb to dry the tears from your face. “Because you love him.” She answers softly.

“I wish I never did.” You shake your head.

“No, don’t think that darling. He made you feel things you’ve never felt before, you felt what love was and what pain is. You experienced a part of life everyone wants to find. Especially during a world like this.” She keeps her hands against your cheeks as she speaks to you. “Never regret being with anyone, ever. Because they teach you what to look for in your next relationships.” She adds.

“Did you go through the same thing? I mean, did you have your heart broke?” You ask.

“Oh yes. Yes I did. My first real love was a deep passionate love. We were made for each other. He was my soulmate.” She answers as she remembers her memories.

“Wait, he was your soulmate? What happened? Why didn’t it work out?” You ask confused.

She lets out a deep breath and shakes her head. “He was married.” She answers softly.

She was trying to help you with your situation because she was once in the same shoes as you.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“So was I. I couldn’t talk to another man until I met my husband. My Leonard.” She smiles sweetly. Her eyes filling with tears. “He was my Prince Charming every girl dreams of. Yes, you’ll have had feelings for someone before, of course it’s not going to be the same. But once you find the person who will love you full heartedly, imagine how wonderful you’ll feel.”

Nodding slowly you agree with her words. She was right, just because you were having a hard time now getting over Negan; didn’t mean that you wouldn’t find someone who will choose you. Who will let you love them, and who will love you with all they can.

“Thank you.” You smile.

“Sweet girl, you’re very strong. You’re very stubborn and I know you will find that person.” She smiles. “Now let’s eat this food before it gets cold.”

Nodding you begin to eat and have small talk with your friend. 

* * *

A knock at your door startles you from your book. Quickly moving from your bed and placing the book on the nightstand, you head to the door.

Opening it slightly, you peek out meeting the nerdy guy from a week ago.

“Yes?” You ask.

“Hello, I was sent by Negan to fetch you for an upcoming meeting.”

“A meeting?” You ask in confusion. Why would he want to have another meeting. He had already told all of us that we weren’t to leave the area.

“Please don’t ask me any details. I’m only the messenger.” He answers.

“Okay, thank you. When exactly is the meeting?”

“In a hour.” He answers kindly.

You could feel your heart sinking on having to see Negan again. Eleanor had told you, you would face him again. Since the time has passed since you last saw him, your heart and mind may have let him go.

“Thanks.” You thank the man and close the door. Turning back towards your bed, you grab the book in your hand to sit back down and continue to read but stop when a second knock at the door stops you.

Keeping the book within your hand, you walk to the door and open it. This time the person standing in front of you is Jude.

“Oh, hello.” You greet the man.

“Hello.” He answers with a smile.

“What are you doing here?” You ask confused on the unexpected visit.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He answers with a shrug.

“About?”

“How you’ve been.” He answers. He looks away from you to glance towards the book in your hand. “The last time I saw you, you were crying.” He finishes.

“I didn’t cry.” You answer thinking of the last time you saw him.

“No, not that day. You were crying while sitting down outside in the back of the building.” He answers.

You were the only person out there that day, you remember needing to get fresh air and to get away from people. Emotions were running high that day after seeing Negan talking with one of his wives. Where you stood was too far from your room, so you ran out side the large loading dock area and to the back to cry.

You made sure to check the area before unloading a shit ton of tears.

“Where-“

“I was upstairs. I looked out the window and saw you.” He answers.

“Oh right, the windows.” You feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, he wasn’t around.”

“I wasn’t worried.” You snap.

He Lifts his hands in defensive manner. “I didn’t mean it as if you were-“

“Are you going to tell me why you’re really here?” You ask interrupting him.

He lets out a sigh.

“I just wanted to see you.”

Blinking, you stare towards the man ; trying to understand why he’d want that at all.

“Is it that odd to have someone actually care?” He asks.

“You don’t know me.” You answer.

“A person doesn’t have to know someone to like them.”

Rolling your eyes, you let out a scoff. “That is the manliest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He winks.

_ Oh, that’s disgusting. _

Remembering Eleanor talking about someone else coming into your life would come eventually when you’re ready. This was way too soon for you and unwanted.

“Listen Jude, I just got out of a relationship. I’m not really looking for anything. All I want is to enjoy my life or whatever the hell this is nowadays.”

“I’m not in a rush.” He smiles.

“Right.” Looking away towards the book in your hand, you try to ignore your weird situation you’re in and think about the characters in the book.

Your brain hating you as much as you hate this unending embarrassment, you decide changing the subject would be better.

“Are you going to the meeting?”

He nods once. “I am. I take it I’ll see you there as well.” He says with a smirk.

“Yeah, looks like you could have waited a while longer to see me.” You answer with a shrug.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’ll have to work on you.” He snickers.

_Work on me?_ Who the hell does he think he is? There was nothing about you that needed to be worked on. If you like me, like me for who I am.

No one could change you, ever.

“Right, like that’s ever going to happen.” You roll your eyes. Taking a step back you slam the door on his face.

The sound of his laugh from the other side causes your stomach to twist with uncertainty. “I’ll see you at the meeting.” He says with his words sounding muffled.

“Yeah, okay.” You roll your eyes.

* * *

Walking into the meeting empty room, you quickly make a way to the far end of the table on the back. Negan’s normal spot.

Jude walks in next, a smirk playing upon his lips as he walks towards you and takes a seat next to you.

“Really?” You ask.

The sound of approaching footsteps coming down the hall greets you. Negan walking through the doorway, eyes landing on his taken spot.

“What?” Jude asks his eyes remaining on you.

“There are tons of chairs and you’re going to sit right next to me?” You complain.

“Do you blame me?” He asks. “First, of all you are the prettiest person here. Second, I don’t know very many people.” He says with a shrug.

From your peripheral vision, you see Negan eyeing the two of you. Hopefully he was noticing how uncomfortable you are.

“Well Jude, if you’re that nervous why don’t you have a seat by me. I can show you some of my ideas.” Negan says filling in the silence in the room.

Glancing towards Negan, you want to mouth to him that you were thankful but the other man was continuing to stare at you.

“Oh. Okay, that would be great.” Jude finally says turning to glance toward Negan. “Looks like you got a little lucky.” He whispers winking before standing and walking towards the other end of the table.

You could gag. Honestly full heartedly gag in your seat just thinking about how cocky he was acting.

Sucking in a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you look down towards the table and remember the day you had sat in Negan’s lap right where you sit.

Shaking your head, you try to get the memory out of your mind. This was no time to reminisce or the time to cry from the amazing memories you once had with him.

Other saviors begin to walk into the room, taking each seat inside the meeting room.

Glancing towards Negan, he keeps his eyes on you before taking a deep breath before beginning. “Good evening. I hope you all have been resting up.” He says glancing towards the other saviors.

Some people nod their heads, others even answer. You remain silent.

“Good.” He smirks before meeting your eyes once again. “Cause that’s going to change in a few days.”

“Fucking finally.” Jude blurts with excitement before turning to glance towards you.

Negan notice which causes his nostrils to flare up. He was getting a little angry with Judes attitude and how he’s treating you.

Negan clears his throat and keeps his eyes trained on you. “I’m going to have a group head to The Kingdom, another to The Hilltop.”

_ The Hilltop? I thought his plans for The Hilltop were nonexistent? _

Negan points to the left side of the table with Lucille, Jude being a part of that side. “This side will be heading to The Kingdom.” He glances towards Gavin in the middle of the seats. “I know your last visit wasn’t the easiest, hopefully you’ll have a different experience.” He finishes.

Gavin nods his head. His eyes trailing towards the middle of the table, his eyes dilating possibly having a flashback of that day.

Negan pauses, moving Lucille to the other side of the table. “Obviously you all will be going to The Hilltop.”

“Uh, Negan.” Jude interrupts.

Negan eyes the man. Keeping silent he waits for the man to continue.

“What about her? You didn’t point to her.” Jude continues as he points towards you.

“You’re right. I didn’t. That’s because she had other things to do.” Negan answers.

“Like?” Jude pushes.

Negan’s nostrils flare once again. You knew the look. He was pissed passed the point of being kind. Negan would either begin to holler at the man, call him a fucking idiot or embarrass the hell out of him by putting him in his place.

“Like a whole lot of none of your fucking business.“ Negan answers loud enough that his words echo slightly inside the room.

You couldn’t hold in the chuckle. You place your hand over your lips, hiding them with the back of your hand.

Jude glances towards you.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to finish the meeting.” Negan comments before eyeing you as a small smirk plays upon his lips.

“We’re going to have our normal run. Grab half our shit, get out and head back to base. We have to be a little careful this time around; especially in The Hilltop. We know Rick is there, they know we’ll be back for our shit. I don’t want anyone trying to even make a scene about Rick, leave Rick and his gang alone.” He says eyeing the side that will be headed to The Hilltop.

The right side nods in agreement.

“The Kingdom is an easy in and out, I just don’t want anyone making any damn pit stops.” He says towards the left side.

They all nod as well.

When you used to roll with that group you all never stopped anywhere. Was always quick and easy.

“Alright. Thank you all for joining in on the meeting.” He says placing Lucille over his shoulder.

Everyone begins to raise from their seats and walk out of the room in a large group. Keeping seated in your chair, you glance up noticing the room held only three people left.

Negan, Jude and you.

“Thank you for joining in on your first official savior meeting.” Negan says to the man who was slowly moving from his seat to stand in front of Negan.

“You could have kept your embarrassing comment for when we were alone.” Jude starts.

Negan takes a step back, placing his gloved hand upon his chest.

“I don’t remember asking for your feedback. I don’t want you to share your thought on the meeting either. I’m your fucking boss and I can talk to my people however the fuck I fucking damn well fucking please.” Negan leans in to remind Jude who he works for.

You keep your eyes on the scene in front of you. Jude smacks his lip as he turns to glance towards you.

“Well since you still haven’t told me where she’s going to be, could she go with me to The Kingdom?” Jude asks. “Please.” He adds quickly.

“Why? What do you want with her?”

“I want to get to know her. Spend quality time together.”

Glancing towards Jude, a large smile is plastered to his face.

The man didn’t think his words through. Negan was still upset with Judes outburst and his cockiness. Negan was also still very angry that you had broken up with him, angry that you keep far from himand would kill anyone who would try to take his place.

You shake your head.

“I see, you think she wants that?” Negan asks.

“If she gives me a chance. I think she will.” Jude answers.

“Okay, I’m right fucking here.” You growl with anger. “Don’t talk about me like I can’t fucking hear you.”

Negan glances towards you, Jude turning with surprise in his eyes at your outburst.

“Shh. The men are talking things through.” Jude says to you.

Negan turns towards Jude, his mouth almost falling open in surprise.

“The fuck?” Negan and you both say in unison.

“A lady shouldn’t talk like-“

“I already told you, asshole. I’m not interested or ready for anything.” You begin standing from your seat and taking a couple steps towards the man.

“If you give me a chance-“

You let out an irritated laugh, shaking your head you place both hands against your temples. “What the fuck else do you want me to say? I’m speaking plain English. No means no.”

“Come on-“

“Listen Jude. I liked you all those days ago but it looks like we’ve finally got a chance to see your true colors.” Negan interrupts. He glances towards you, raising an eyebrow he lets out an exasperated sigh. “Look like we got ourselves another Jared.” Negan adds.

“She would like me if-“

Negan raises his hand, he pushes his index finger up to his lips. “Shh, I’m speaking. You will not interrupt me while I speak.” Negan says before pausing and lowering his hand. “I also don’t like the fact that you’re not listening to the lady. She said no, which fucking means no. She’s also supposed to be treated like a lady of you’re going to call her one. Which means she can speak when she damn well pleases and have her words be taken to fucking heart.” Negan snaps.

Jude curses under his breath, his eyes meeting yours. “She needs to give me-“

“Fuck off you goddamn moron. I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want you around me and I don’t like the fact that you think you can flirt with me. I’m not your property and will never be yours. Stay the hell away from me.” You finish as you stop right in front of the man.

Judes eyes are filled with anger. He steps towards you and lowers himself so he could look directly into your eyes. “You’re not my type anyway. His other wives are so much prettier than you.” He spits.

Negan grabs Jude from the back of his shirt, throwing him out of the room. “Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of my sight!” Negan shouts in anger.

He used your pain against you, shoving it in your face and rubbing the salt along the damn wound.

You take a deep breath, think about all the kind things Eleanor has told you durning your time with her.

Her soft words echoing inside your head.

“Your new boyfriend is an asshole.” Negan says filling the silent room.

You blink an angry single tear from your eye. Meeting his stare, you shoot daggers at him. “He’s not my boyfriend.” You spit ready to pass by him and walk back to your room.

“Hey.” He stops you by placing his hands on your shoulders. “You know I’m just kidding, right?”

Keeping your eyes directed towards the hall, you don’t know if you could answer him. The truth was it didn’t feel like he was joking, it doesn’t feel good to talk about having a boyfriend that wasn’t Negan.

You decide nodding is the best way to answer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He’s never actually talked to me until today. Honestly he can keep the old routine.” You shake your head.

“I’ve seen that you’ve been hanging around that old lady.”

You let out a sigh.

“Her name is-“

“Eleanor, right?” He says with a smirk.

“Wow, you actually paid attention.” You sound surprised.

He places Lucille against the table. “I told you Doll, I always pay attention to you.”

Raising your eyebrow, you ignore the fact that he called you Doll again. Your mind wonders directly to his claims of paying attention. You chuckle.

“So you’ll pay attention to those kind of things but don’t pay attention to my wants?” You ask.

Egan let’s out a sigh in exhaustion.

“I already told you this, we can’t get what we want all the time.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you let out a snicker.

“You’re right. We can’t always get what we want.” You smack your hand against your leg. “Which means neither can you.”

His eyebrows furrow together.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you want me back. You want me to just make up my mind and forget that I’ll never be your only wife.”

Negan keeps his eyes on you, he doesn’t dare speak a single word.

“Well sunshine, we don’t always get what we want.” You smirk, moving towards the door.

Negan finally speaks. “Things can change.”

“Not my mind, and clearly yours either.” You shrug getting ready to walk out the room. Negan speaks again.

“I don’t want you with him.” He says looking at you before looking down and why from you.

Rolling your eyes. You let out a chuckle.

“Oh please. I got rid of one asshole, why would I get with another?” You finish keeping your eyes on his before turning and heading out the room.

The sound of Negan using Lucille to smash into things in the room echos the hallway.


	29. Eyes In The Woods

Days pass since your last meeting with Negan. Having avoided him since then wasn’t the easiest, but you were successful in keeping away.

Joining Eleanor for breakfast, she kindly let you know that she was almost finished with the meat you had brought in from your last hunt.

With excitement you let her know you’ll head out and hunt for more game.

Throwing your quiver over your shoulder and bow clutched in your hand, you head out onto the yard of the Sanctuary.

Reaching the gates you stop to look to the heavily amount of armed saviors on watch.

“Where do you think you’re headed?” Felix asks taking a step from his post.

“I don’t know why you think this is any of your concern.” You answer. “Just open the gate.”

He smirks towards you. “Tut tut.” He shakes his head. “Negan has specifically told us to make sure no one leaves the area.” He answers with a huff.

Rolling your eyes you remember the all staff meeting in the sanctuary, you tried to block that damn day out of your mind but someone always had to bring it back up.

“I am Negan. Now open the damn gate.” You raise your voice.

The female savior who was with Felix the day you arrived stands to her feet. She walks towards Felix before pushing him out of the way and reaching the gate.

“I’ll do it. Lazy bum.” She shakes her head and pushes the gate enough for you to exit out into the open.

Walking into the woods near by, loading your weapon you start further into the woods to search for game.

To your excitement, a couple squirrels run by. Quickly shooting an arrow one by one, you smile at the success you’ve found so early.

Daryl would have been proud of you. He probably would have told you that you still needed a bit more practice.

Grabbing the game, you pack them up and tie them onto the jute twine. Daryl would also be proud of you for not flinching at the thought of picking up the dead animal.

The sound of a groan from the side of you pulls you into action. Loading your weapon you aim your arrow to the dead woman’s head.

She groans once again before releasing the arrow into her eye.

Another sound of footsteps coming from behind you give you a bit of excitement.

More shooting practice.

Pulling another arrow from the quiver, you load and turn.

Aiming the arrow towards Negan’s head.

“Whoa.” He says raising his hands in a defensive way.

You let out a deep breath and loosen the bow string. “I could have shot you, you idiot.” You scold him. “Next time make some kind of vocal noise so I know you’re human.”

Keeping your eyes on the surprise man, you roll your eyes and feel the irritation begin to fill you. “What do you want?” You ask.

He lowers his hands and walks around you.

“I heard you left, walked right out into the woods and didn’t tell anyone where you were going.” He says.

“It’s none of Felix’s business where I’m going.” You answer.

“I agree Doll, but I made specific rules that aren’t meant to be broken.” He answers glancing towards you and keeping his eyes on yours.

“I thought I told you not to call me that.” You remind him.

“You did, but I didn’t listen very well. I don’t know what else to call you.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“How about my name.” You answer.

Quickly loading up your stuff, you walk further into the woods.

Negan follows behind.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re out here?” He asks.

Rolling your eyes, you lift the string from around you and point towards the squirrels.

“Did your eyes stop working?” You ask.

Noticing a rabbit by a tree stump, you load your bow and aim the arrow. Releasing the arrow, it shoots right into the games eye.

Turning you glance towards Negan as you wait for his response. His face covered in a grimace as he turns to keep his eyes on you.

“Damn, you’re moody.” He smiles.

Rolling your eyes once again, you quickly turn around and grab the rabbit.

“We need to talk.” He starts softly.

“I don’t have anything to say.” You answer with a shrug.

“Come on Doll, I don’t like you not talking to me.” He says.

You pull the arrow from the rabbits eye and make another knot on the string for the rabbits neck.

“I don’t like that you’re still angry with me. It’s been long enough.”

Ignoring him, you walk further into the woods. The leader following you.

“Please, level with me.” Negan begs.

Turning you look into his eyes. “I can’t scoop down that low.” You answer.

Negan let’s out a sigh in defeat, he looks away from you to eye the woods around.

“Do you actually have something to talk about or are you just trying to waste my time?” You ask as you load up your arrow and glance towards the man.

Negan blows out a heavy breath and starts feeling his groin.

“Ugh, what are you doing?” You ask turning to give him privacy.

“Looking for my balls, I swear they were hanging there a minute ago.”

_ Wasting my time. That’s what he’s doing. _

Turning your back towards Negan, the sound of a twig snapping from the left of you turns you to aim your bow towards the sound. 

Perhaps it was a deer, this could feed the entire sanctuary. Of course only one serving but it could help.

Noticing one of the dead, you let a silent sigh from your lips.

_No such luck_.

The geek remains far enough from Negan and you. It stands behind a tree in the same spot.

A squirrel appears on the tree next to it. Keeping the bow aimed towards that direction, you move it to the left and higher. Letting the arrow fly, it hits the squirrel dead on.

“Nice shot.” Negan says praising you.

You can’t help but smirking with confidence. Loading another arrow, you knew you would have to kill the geek to reach the squirrel in one piece.

Aiming the bow towards the geeks head, you let out a small breath and let the arrow fly into the geeks head.

A groan reaches your ear from the right side ofyou. Turning you notice another geek stepping up and stopping by a large bush.

“Are you almost finished?” Negan asks turning your attention away from the geek.

Rolling your eyes you turn and glance toward him. “I just started. I need to find more game for Eleanor.” You answer walking towards the squirrel to pull the arrow from the tree and the squirrel.

“Silly girl.” He whispers but the words reach your ear as you yank the arrow from the tree.

Turning to look to Negan as you tie another knot for the squirrel, you step toward his direction. “What did you call me?” You ask.

“I didn’t call you anything.” Negan answers turning to glance towards you.

“You’re lying, I heard you. You called me a silly girl. I heard it.” You answer stepping closer towards him.

“Doll, I didn’t call you anything. I swear on Lucille.” He answers lifting the bat in his hand slightly for emphasis.

Another twig breaks from the your right side. Negan and you turn your attention towards the direction.

Noticing another geek reaching a tree, it stops and stands in a spot. 

“It’s like they’re watching us.” You murmur to yourself as another geek walks up to the same area of the other geek.

More geeks become noticeable, standing around the woods in the same distance as the others.

“That’s way too many for us to deal with.” You comment turning to look around the surrounding woods. The geeks stand around watching you.

_ Watching? _

“Doll.” Negan whispers towards you. “Slowly make your way towards me.” He says softly and slowly.

“You can’t do anything to help, you only have Lucille.” You reply.

You start to regret not bringing your other weapons. Daryl was right all along; you have the worst luck with being out in the open.

“Slowly.” A whisper from the opposite side where the first whisper came from.

“She’s afraid.” Another whisper says.

“Am I having a stroke?” You ask turning to glance towards Negan.

Negan grabs your hand, quickly pulling you towards him.

“I’m sorry, she didn’t know.” He announces to the geeks.

“What? What are you-“

“Shut up.” He whispers to you. “She hasn’t been around that long. Please forgive her.” He finishes.

One geek steps into the clearing. Her head tilting as she makes her way towards the both of you.

“You said no one would step into our woods.” A whispered souther accent escapes the geek whispers.

You notice the geek was actually not one of the dead. The skins of the dead were being worn as masks.

Your stomach twists at the thought of the smell.

“She didn’t know.” Negan says once again.

“I’ve seen her before. Walking around the woods, alone with no one to keep her safe.”

“I’m here to keep her safe.” Negan answers.

“I don’t need anyone to keep me safe.” You reply pulling your hand out of Negan’s.

She tilts her head once again and tuts

“She broke the treaty.” The woman whispers.

“Hold on, so you guys wear the geeks skin?” You ask.

“Doll-“

“That’s fucking brilliant. No one knows who you are, if you’re alive or dead. You can walk around in the day without people batting an eye.” You try to step closer but Negan grabs your hand once again.

“Sucking up won’t save you.” She whispers.

“Who says I’m sucking up? I’m just complimenting the amazing idea.” You answer. Looking around the woods, you step closer; Negan following closely behind.

“How do you deal with winter?” You ask. “Because lookin at the time of year, leaves on the ground and the sun going down later. Winter is heading our way and you look like you have a bit of people you need to keep safe.” You eye the woman.

“Negan gave me access to the grounds once winter hits.”

Your stomach flips at the thought. Negan knew about them, had a conversation with them and kept it for you and everyone else.

Keeping your frustration down and hidden away, you take yet another step towards her.

“If you kill me, you won’t have shit.” You announce loud enough so the other skin wearing freaks hear.

“You think so?” She asks.

“I know so.”

“Why is that?” She asks.

“Cause she’s my girl.” Negan answers raising Lucille so she rest on his shoulder.

“Do you think threats are going to keep you alive?” She asks taking a step toward the both of you.

“No, but my saviors will.” Negan answers. He gives a single low whistle.

The sound of guns cocking around the woods brings a chill down your spine.

How long were they out here?

You feel anger wash over you, he had that all staff meeting about “Rick’s” people possibly coming out here to The Sanctuary. When in reality it was these freaks he was trying to keep us safe from.

“My saviors are great shots, and we haven’t really bad ourselves any kind of fun lately. Kinda trigger happy.” Negan explains. “You’re people will make nice target practice. Blow off some fucking steam.”

She looks between Negan and you.

“I also do not appreciate you threatening my girl in that way. I have decided to revoke my earlier offer of hour creepy ass group. You fuckers can find your own source of security.” Negan adds.

“We-“

“I also advise you to change your location. These fucking woods belong to me.” Negan growls with anger.

“We can make an exception-“

“I’ll give you the count of five to get the fuck out of here or my goddamn men will start blowing brains or whatever you have left in there.” Negan shouts.

“You wouldn’t-“

“Tyler!” Negan shouts.

The sound of a shot firing echos the woods. One of the mask wearing mean falls to the ground.

“You were fucking saying?”

She takes a step closer. Her eyes dark with fury.

“You’re going to regret this.” She says.

“No Alpha, I don’t think I fucking will.” Negan growls. His face filled with anger and eyes ready for war. “One.” He counts.

She takes a step back, eyeing her people she whispered. “Move out.”

They all slowly start moving away from the area. Walking out of view and further into the woods.

You turn around and face Negan, eyes filled with anger.

“Doll-“

“Not right now, I’m not in the mood to speak to you.” You snap as you walk past Negan, clutching onto your bow; you eye the other saviors as you pass them and head to the Sanctuary gates.

“Well, well.” Felix begins with a snort.

“I’ll fuck you up right here in front of all these people, Felix. I don’t give a shit.” You growl towards the man.

“I told you not to go out there.” He answers with a smile.

“Eat shit.” You comment walking inside and past the older man.

Entering the building, you walk towards the older woman standing by the stove.

“Hello dear.” She says greeting you with a smile.

“Hi.” You answer quickly.

“A little blue?” She asks.

You nod your head silently.

She moves away from the stove and grabs you by the hand leading you to the chairs. Having you take a seat across from her. “Tell me your troubles.” She says gently grabbing your hand and rubbing her thumb gently against the back of your hand.

Looking into her wrinkled face, darting to her grey hair. You didn’t know if you were supposed to tell anyone about what happened out there.

You let out a deep sigh and hold her hand tightly within yours.

“I’m not sure I can talk about it.” She takes you into her arms. Her warm embrace comforting you.

“Don’t let the fear or pain keep you back. Never let it control you.” She says so sweetly, pulling back she touches your face with her hands. “You’re much stronger than the problem. She adds.

“Thank you Eleanor.” You gently say glancing down. Noticing the string of dead game, you quickly take it off and hand them to her.

“I brought you some of these. Sorry it’s not more.” You smiles softly.

“It’s wonderful dear, thank you.” She exclaims. “I can make a lovely stew.”

“That sounds amazing.” You answer.

Eleanor glances behind you, her hand gripping your shoulder to slightly tell you to turn.

Letting out a tired sigh, you turn and see Negan walking towards the both of you.

“I’ll be back.” You whisper to the old woman.

“Alright dear, I’ll going to start that lively stew.” She smiles towards you. Moving away from Eleanor, you walk up to Negan and meeting his eyes.

“Doll-“

“I’m going to the meeting room; where we can talk in private.” You begin passing by him and walking up the stairs.

Negan follows behind you. Keeping silent during your journey, finally reaching the meeting room you walk inside and wait for Negan to close the door behind himself.

Leaning against the table, you turn; crossing your arms over your chest.

“How long?” You ask.

“Doll-“

“How fucking long have you known?” You ask raising your voice. The frustration of him keeping something so important for you and the other saviors infuriates you.

“Before you returned.” He answers looking dead into your eyes.

Your head swims with the answer. He knew about those freaks since you were in The Hilltop. The anger rushed into your veins, the sound of your heartbeat racing echoes inside your ears.

“When we’re you planning on telling me?” You ask.

He keeps his eyes directed towards the table. Letting out a tired sigh, he glances towards you. “I’m not sure.” He answers.

“So you thought keeping those things a secret was going to keep them from being a threat?” You step towards him.

“I hoped.” He replies.

You let out a laugh. “You hoped.” Shaking your head you turn to the side and look at the smashed wall. That’s what Negan had hit last time you talked. You turn and glance towards him.

“You ignored the fact that there are hundreds of fucking weird ass people wearing geek skins. You put us all in danger.” You continue.

“Doll.”

“I told you to stop calling me that. I’m not your doll, I’m not your fucking girl either.” You shout turning to look at him.

“She didn’t know that.” He answers.

Trying to calm yourself, you take a deep breath and turn away from him. Slowly walking along the chairs by the table, you touch each chair

“Tell me about them. Tell me what we got ourselves into.” You finally begin once you’ve calmed yourself.

Negan let’s out a deep breath before sucking in air to explain.

“They call themselves the whispers. Gavin was the first person to deal with them. He ran into them when we made up that raid The Kingdom run. They killed everyone of my guys except for Gavin, just to have someone to tell the story.” He says keeping his eyes on you as you continue around the table slowly, you stop when you’re one chair away from him.

“When did you meet the woman?”

“Alpha.” He pauses breathing from his nose. “She came to the gates with geeks. I thought they were all dead until she pulled her mask off. Bald bitch with a southern accent, if she wasn’t the definition of trailer trash-“

“Negan.” You shake your head. He was going off on his own direction of the story.

“Anyway, when she asked for the leader of the group they called me out. She talked with me, told me that my men had killed a few of her people. So she finished them off.” He shakes his head. “She turned, that’s when I noticed the dead were my men. Fucking Jared was the first one I recognize. Snapping and groaning for flesh.” He answers.

“Then what did you do?” You ask.

“I couldn’t do a goddamn thing. She set her rules, told me what was needed to be done when it came to winter. How she needed my assistance.”

“And you agreed?”

“I fucking had to, she added rules. How nobody was allowed to be inside their woods.”

“Their woods.” You roll your eyes at the words. “Why didn’t you just kill them all? End the weird fuckers.”

“There’s too many to kill Doll, it’s a large community.” He answers with a shake of his head.

“Their a problem.” You comment.

“You don’t think I know?”

“Today was a mistake. If I would have know, I wouldn’t have came into those fucking woods and -“

“I understand; I made a mistake in not telling you. Fuck, I’ve made enough mistakes since you came back. My biggest mistake was letting you go.” He says his eyes beginning to fill with unshed tears.

Turning your head, you ignore his words and act as if he never said them. “Where do you think they went?” You ask.

Egan keeps his eyes on you, shocked expressionplaying on his face when you didn’t acknowledge his mistake in loosing you.

“Doll-“ He pauses and corrects himself. “I’m not sure. As long as they don’t come back.”

“They’re still out there, which mean they remain somebody’s threat. Hell, they could come back and kill us all of they wanted.”

“I’m not going to let that happen.” He answers.

“How are you going to do that if you won’t let any of the others know?” You ask.

You needed to share what’s happening out in the woods with the others. Things weren’t as safe as they all believe, and deserve to know.

Starting towards the door, opening it quickly you take a step into the hall. Negan moves quicker, stepping in front of you. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asks.

“Telling the others. I’m going to do what a leader is supposed to do.” You answer.

He reaches you, grabbing you by the arms and pulls you back into the meeting room.

“Don’t you dare man handle me like-“

“Listen, I’m not having you tell all the saviors. This is some freaky ass shit and a lot of people won’t be okay with it.”

“Well I think you should tell them. Some of these people are assholes, I know it you and you know it. I care for them and I don’t want anything happening to them. You’re their leader; you should care as well. They have a right to know.” You answer.

Negan let’s out a sigh, his anger from earlier washing away. “I need you to promise me you won’t tell them.”

“This isn’t elementary Negan, I’m not going to promise shit.” You answer quickly. Keeping your eyes on the man, you point your finger towards him. “If you don’t tell them soon, I will. It’s only a matter of time when they come back.” You finish.

Negan eyes you, his face remaining calm as hekeeps his eyes trailed on you. “You’re a great leader.” He compliments.

“I know, Rick said the same thing once.” You answer before moving to the side of Negan.

“You know I didn’t take it lightly when Alpha threatened you.” Negan says trying to keep the conversation going.

Shaking your head, you meet his eye. You could see the truth visible, in the woods he took charge when Alpha threatened you. He took a step in front of you, showing her that he was a leader and that he was there to keep you safe.

“Maybe you shouldn’t take it lightly that she threatened the entire community.” You answer with a shrug.

He grabs your wrist stopping you from going anywhere. “You’re more important to me.”

“I must not have been that important to you, because I would never have kept this kind a secret from you.” You push before shaking your head and stepping closer towards him.  Keeping you’re eyes focused with his, you decide to challenge him with a couple words.

“If I’m that important to you, prove it.” Moving your wrist from his grasp, you walk out of the meeting room to make your way back to Eleanor.


End file.
